Black Dogs & Green Trees
by StripedHatter
Summary: Marauders!Era, MCxSirius. Hazel Drummond returns to Hogwarts for her sixth year to find many adventures awaiting. Inter-house friendships form, a mysterious creature is raised, and more than one secret project begins. And yet the most unexpected part of her sixth year is falling for the Gryffindor boy named after a star. not strictly canon
1. Chapter One

**A little introduction!**

This story takes place in the Marauders era, meaning I had to improvise a few things and include characters who may not be true to their age. It is set in the Marauders' sixth year, meaning all four, plus Lily Evans and Severus Snape, are all sixth years. I included a few characters who plausibly could attend Hogwarts at the same time: Lucius Malfoy as a seventh year; Xenophilius Lovegood as a seventh year; Amos Diggory as a sixth year; Quirinus Quirrell as a first year; and I invented a few characters as stand-ins for existing placeholders (if that makes sense). Cho Chang's mom is Yumi Kae, a Ravenclaw; Luna Lovegood's mom is Pandora Kalloway, also a Ravenclaw; and Cedric Diggory's mom is Cassiopeia (Cassi) Dale. All three are sixth-years, as is the main character, whose love interest is Sirius.

Most of the professors have been agreed upon on forums. DADA & Divination had to be made up, so I created Bronte for DADA and Harley for Divination. Others are basically canonically acceptable: Kettleburn for Care of Magical Creatures; Flitwick for Charms; McGonagall for Transfiguration; Slughorn for Potions (canon- Lily was in the Slug Club); younger Sprout and Filch in their same roles; Hagrid could be there as gamekeeper apprentice, but Molly Weasley mentions Ogg was gamekeeper before Hagrid; and Dumbledore is still headmaster, as he was when Tom Riddle attended roughly twenty years before the Marauders. The professors we didn't witness within the books, I had to make up personalities for, as well as my stand-in characters.

The main character, Hazel Drummond, has a name that actually means "Hazel at the Ridge". Hazels symbolize creative wisdom, which I thought appropriate for a Ravenclaw. She is also the beater for the Ravenclaw quidditch team. The book is more about her story (and Sirius) than the Marauders themselves, but I still refer to it as Marauders era and the four do still play a key role in the book.

I pulled from various sources to set up the classes, schedule, and their curriculum. It will be different from Harry's because she's a Ravenclaw, and it may not be completely accurate, but it is enough so that the story won't be affected by any inaccuracy.

Enjoy!

 **Chapter One**

"Ah, Hazel, I'm not ready to go back."

"Neither am I, Cassi."

"But you at least have _something_ to look forward to."

I looked over at my friend, brow wrinkling. "That being?"

"You've gotten letters the whole summer,"

"So have you," I reminded Cassi. She rolled her brown eyes, brushing a swoop of auburn hair out of them.

"Not from Amos Diggory or Xeno Lovegood, though- they're seventh-years and they thought enough to write you, Hazel."

I chuckled. "Amos wrote to see if I had heard from _you_ because he was too chicken to write to you. Xeno was asking if I had received my report card yet, and to ask how I did on my OWLs."

"Still," Cassi complained, "I've only gotten letters from Yumi and Pandora.

I leaned back and took a long swig of hot coco. "Well, I'm not worried about _boys_ this year, Cass. I'm just looking to get my classes done. I'm more looking forward to seeing Professor Harley and Professor Kettleburn."

"I'm starting to think you fancy him."

I made a face. "Who?"

"Professor Harley."

I laughed aloud. "He's the divination professor, my sweet Cassi- I'm not interested in dating him. He's just a fascinating man. You know, he was right last year- that prediction about the saddle symbol, overcoming something troublesome, being successful. It was about OWLs, I just know it."

"And you want to spend your potentially free period learning more about divination? You don't even want to be something that would warrant that being useful!"

I kicked Cassi's leg from where I sat on the couch and took another sip of hot coco. "I'm not completely sure of that yet. Maybe I'll come back to Hogwarts and teach it."

Cassi sat forward, earnest in her brown eyes, but still maintaining a joking tone. "No, Hazel, no. You're the best beater Ravenclaw has had in _years_ \- you can't just throw that out. You've been talking about joining the Falmouth Falcons after leaving Hogwarts since, what, second year?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You don't honestly believe that's all I'll do with my life."

"No, I don't," she agreed. "You're also excellent at Defense Against the Dark Arts _and_ Care of Magical Creatures. Maybe you could combine them- go raise dragons or train hippogriffs."

I smiled at her. "I can do all of that _and_ take Divination this year. And besides, I'm not worried about me- I'm worried about you. What are you going to do after Hogwarts? You only have a couple more years to figure it out."

"Exactly," Cassi protested. "A couple more years. And in those couple more years, I'll figure it out. If nothing else… I'll write for the Daily Prophet."

"My turn," I argued. "You're the best Potions whiz in Ravenclaw. You can't throw that away any more than I can throw away my quidditch skills."

"I'm not as good at potions as you are at quidditch."

"What makes you say that?"

She sighed, looking at the fire crackling in her living room. "That Severus Snape is a million times better than I am."

I rolled my eyes. "Severus Snape is a _genius_ , in all things but love. Ooh, maybe you two will fall in love and have little potion master babies-"

"Eww, no, stop-"

"The Slytherin and the Ravenclaw- I should write a book!"

"Hazel, please, no."

I tossed my head back, laughing, and grinned at her. "I'm writing it now. We'll even include Lily Evans in there, as she has his eye for now. The tragedy of a chain of unrequited love- your love for the potions boy, the potions boy's love for the Gryffindor girl."

"I'm going to stop you right there, Hazel Drummond," Cassi said, glaring. "That will never happen."

I met her eyes, still grinning. "And why not?"

"I don't like Snape."

"Then who do you like?"

"No one," she lied, but she had kept up that lie the whole summer. I had a hunch I knew who she liked. "But if I did like someone, it wouldn't be Snape. He's- oh, he's alright, I suppose, for a Slytherin. But he isn't my type."

"Mhm."

"He isn't!"

I laughed again. "Whatever lie comforts you most, dearest Cassiopeia."

She groaned. "And don't you dare write that book."

"Don't underestimate me."

"I don't, which is why I feel it necessary to ask you _not to write it._ Because I know you will."

I smiled. "Don't ever doubt a thing, dear one- least of all true love!"

The morning came bright and early. I dressed quickly in my blue turtleneck and a pair of gray jeans. I faced myself in the mirror as I raked a brush through the dark blonde locks that had grown since school got out, and then pulled it into a side-braid. Once I was dressed, I made my way into the kitchen and started some tea. I leaned on the counter for a moment, waiting for it to brew, and heard footsteps down the hall. Mum walked out, her brown hair pulled into a messy ponytail.

"You're sure you want to go alone this year?" She asked.

I nodded. "I'm sure, Mum. You have that job interview, you go on."

"I'm just worried you'll need an extra hand, or get scared, or… Promise you'll write to me every day?"

I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and reminded myself it must be hard to watch her witch daughter disappear to a world she knew nothing of. Mum was a muggle, and I was a witch- that was where complications started. Dad had died before he got the chance to explain to her about his magic, and the fact their child may share in those abilities.

"I promise, Mum," I said, crossing the bar to take her hand. "Maybe not every day, but often. I'm sure Yumi will remind me constantly."

Mum smiled sadly, and then squeezed my hand. "Where is she? I haven't seen her all summer."

"Yumi? She's been visiting France. She has a cousin there, apparently, who attends Beauxbatons. They've been visiting all summer. I told you this, Mum- she sent me letters."

"What about Dora?" She added, heading into the kitchen to start breakfast. "Where's she been?"

"I'm not sure," I replied. "But you have to remember, she lives considerably further away from here than Cassi."

"Where does she live, again?"

Does she remember nothing? I thought, smiling. "She lives closer to Nottingham."

"That explains it. How's her mum?"

I continued to answer questions, strolling back and forth around the house and making sure I had everything ready. As we sat down to eat breakfast for the last time until the holidays, a familiar tapping came to the window. I grinned at Mum and raced over, opening the window of the living room.

"Archibald!" I greeted the tawny owl, letting her in. She flapped through the window and landed on the TV, dropping off the letter on the floor. Immediately after, she went to picking at her feathers. I stroked her head and grabbed the letter. It was marked in fancy script, _To Hazel Drummond of Oxford._

I opened the letter and began to read it.

 _Hazel,_

 _I apologize for not writing to you during the summer. I quite wanted to, as you have been a friend throughout the years. I've been… Busy. I'll explain in person; it's too much for a letter. I know we're in different houses, but I was hoping you could ride with me today. I understand if you would rather ride with friends you haven't seen in a long time._

 _I hope all is well._

 _Lily Evans._

"Who is it, dear?" Mum asked.

"Lily," I answered.

"Who?"

"She's a Gryffindor. We haven't spoken much, but we always manage to have the same table in Potions. She's part of the Slug Club, like me. She was hoping I would sit with her on the train."

"Will you?"

"I guess so."

Mum came back down the hall from where she had left while I read the letter. She finished putting in an earring and glanced at the clock. "Oh! Darling, go get your stuff- you'll be late!"

One glance at the clock told me she was right. Mum and I managed to get my belongings outside, and Archibald into her cage. We were waiting on the roadside when Cassi and her family pulled up, the car stopping. Cassi hopped out to help me load up, and then Mum grabbed me to say her goodbyes. After what seemed to be a million _I love you's_ and _stay safe's_ , she finally let me get in the car and leave. I really would miss her.

I had to hold Archibald's cage in my lap, and it was a tight squeeze with me, the owl, Cassi on the far left holding their barn owl Harold, and her little sister Lyra in the middle. Lyra and Cassi were so dissimilar it was hard to tell they were siblings, despite their being known for their shared last name. Cassi had auburn waves; Lyra had thick blonde locks. Cassi was a Ravenclaw, and Lyra, two years her junior, was in Gryffindor (and admittedly a capable chaser). Cassi was punctilious and pragmatic; Lyra was spontaneous and spirited. Of the two, I got along better with Cassi, but I had no quarrel with Lyra.

The drive from Oxford to London was spent with anticipatory chatter about the upcoming school year, alongside some friendly banter about how badly Gryffindor would lose to Ravenclaw (or, as Lyra claimed, how badly they would beat us). I was sure we would win against them this year. Of course, I was more concerned with beating Hufflepuff- this was Amos Diggory's last year, and therefore, our last showdown. He and I shared a friendly rivalry in the air, and got along quite well on the ground. I had gotten to know him after a few times bumping into each other at Hogsmeade or in the library, and he helped me study for my OWLs with motivational speeches and quotes.

We reached Kings Cross sooner than I expected and were ushered inside; it was nearly time to enter the train. Cassi's parents walked us inside, helping us carry our belongings, and then ran us through the pillar. Cassi's parents, her mum a witch and her dad a squib, were very familiar with the process by now. We were entered into the station and as we boarded the train, I turned to Cassi.

"Lily Evans wrote me this morning, sent a letter with Archibald- come to think of it, I don't know how she got the owl. It's Lily, though; we both know how she is. She wanted me to sit with her. She said she had something to talk about, and it sounds important."

Cassi gave me a pointed look. "You don't want to sit with Pandora and Yumi? You haven't seen them all summer."

I glanced down the aisle, stepping out of the way as a few first-years bustled by. "I know, and I _do_ want to sit with them, I just- I'm so curious, Cass. If nothing else, I'll move to sit with you three midway through the ride."

Just then, I was nearly thrown to the ground as Yumi bear-hugged me out of the blue. "Hazel!" She moved to hug Cassi. "Cassi!" She stepped back. "I missed you both so much!"

"Hazel's abandoning us to sit with Gryffindors," Cassi complained. Yumi looked at me, still smiling but with confusion now.

"Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "It isn't like that. Lily Evans wants me to sit with her, she made it sound important."

"Oh, I see. That works, actually- Pandora's already sitting with Xeno. Apparently they've been writing this summer." Yumi's eyebrows wiggled suggestively and she giggled. "Either way, I'll see you in the dorm and in the Great Hall. I'm so excited to be back!"

"I see this," I commented, laughing. "What, exactly, did you _do_ in France?"

"Oh, everything. You'll hear all about it tonight. _Bonjour!_ "

She ran off, tugging Cassi behind her, who shrugged at me and followed. I started walking, looking for Lily's familiar head of red hair. I was taller than the Gryffindor girl, but not by much. She should be around head level, unless I grew over the summer. After a while, the train started moving, and I gripped the side while walking. I had just crossed into the Gryffindor cart when I saw Lily poke her head out of one of the booths. She smiled at me.

"I was just about to come looking for you," she said. "Get lost?"

"Almost," I answered, grinning, and I walked over to her. I joined her in the cart, sitting next to her on one seat. Across from me were James Potter and Sirius Black. I held in a groan of annoyance. "Lily, why didn't you warn me."

"Warn you of what?" She asked.

"Scared to play with the big boys, are you?" James mocked. I glared at him.

"Not one bit," I answered. "In fact, I spent the past hour and a half in a car with one of your chasers, telling her how ready Ravenclaw is to take you down this year."

James chuckled. "That's likely."

"Oh, it really is."

Sirius piped up, "He was being sarcastic, darling."

"Don't you 'darling' me," I snapped at Gryffindor's beater. "You're already on my list."

Sirius gaped. "What? I only made one comment!"

"That's one too many."

Lily laughed and elbowed me. "Come on, now, I didn't bring you here to rib each other about quidditch. I have serious stuff to discuss."

I sighed. "Fine. But how are they involved?"

Lily shrugged with one shoulder. "I don't suppose they are."

"Make them move," I grumbled, and she gave me a look, her green eyes sweet.

"Can't you just _try_ to play nice? Everyone knows the real rivalry is Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw."

I sighed again. "Okay, okay. I suppose I can play nice- but only when we aren't in the air. What did you need me for?"

"Over the summer, I discovered something," Lily said. "Something big. And I'm not sure if I can handle it alone."

"You made that point. What is it, Lily?"

She glanced at all of us and took a deep breath. The girl was sweet, but she was rarely eager to advance into danger. It made me curious as to what sort of discovery this was. Finally, I found out:

"There's something in the Forbidden Forest- a creature. I don't know what it is, but I know it's dangerous, dangerous enough it could destroy Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"You must know more than that," James said. "How did you find out?"

"Do you remember that holiday I spent with my cousin in London?" Lily said. "I snuck out one night. I realized Hogsmeade and the Forbidden Forest weren't far out. I went to visit the Forest-"

"Lily!" James exclaimed. "Are you daft? You could've-"

"I know."

"Go on," I prompted.

Lily took a deep breath. "As I was saying, I went to visit the Forbidden Forest at night, and I wasn't far in before I heard the roars. There was a wealth of them, from over by where the forest borders the lake, on and on in the night. It was… Frightening, to say the least. Most of the creatures of the forest were running away. I had just gotten close enough that I could see something moving in the distance when they stopped. The creature just vanished somehow."

"And?" Sirius pressed, leaning forward. "Did you go any further?"

"No," she said. With a pointed look at James, she added, "I'm not _that_ daft."

"So what did you do?" I asked.

"I left. I decided I would come back later, with help."

"I'm going with you," James declared. Lily shook her head.

"No, I already know who I'm bringing."

"Who?"

Lily glanced at me. "Hazel is coming because she's proficient at Care of Magical Creatures. Whatever it is, she'll know what to do with it, or at least have an idea. I'm also bringing Remus-"

"You aren't," James said quickly. "You cannot bring Remus Lupin into a dark forest at night."

Lily gave him a sharp look. "I'm not going to be careless, James. I'll take precautions. It won't be… Then."

Confused, I was about to ask when Sirius spoke up, "Who else, then?"

"Those two, Remus because he's a very talented wizard with defense against the dark arts, and Severus."

James groaned. "Why, Lily? Why him?"

"James, he's my best friend," Lily protested. I felt a guilty twinge as I thought about the jokes I had made to Cassi not a week before. Lily carried on. "And on top of that, there's a potion he can brew that can help us, and he knows so much about potion ingredients that-"

"Whatever," James interrupted. "Come on, Sirius, let's go find Remus and Peter."

James abruptly left the cart and Lily put her head in her hands as Sirius followed. A moment later, the longer-haired of the two poked his head back in with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about him," Sirius said, looking mostly at Lily. "James has been weird lately. He'll snap out of it when he eats." He turned to me. "Nice seeing you again, Hazel."

He exited the cart and I turned to Lily. "I'm guessing that's why you aren't bringing him."

She sighed, looking out the window into the gathering darkness. "He's only upset because I'm bringing Sev and not him. Sev is and has been my best friend. I'm not leaving him out of this purely on principle. Sev is braver than James thinks, anyways."

"Why are you with him?" I asked, and Lily looked over in surprise.

"What?"

"James- why are you with him?"

Her cheeks reddened. "I'm not."

"But you want to be."

"I just… He's more decent than he makes himself out to be. The only reason he dislikes Sev is because he thinks Sev is actually in love with me, which is ridiculous! Right?"

I raised my eyebrows, and her easy smile sank. She sighed. I stood. "I'm not leaving, but I'll be right back."

She nodded and I made my way down the aisle. I crossed into the Slytherin cart and it didn't take me long to find him- Severus Snape, sitting alone. The pale boy had a hollow expression, his dark eyes contrasting to the greasy dark hair that fell flat on his head. I opened up the cart and smiled at him.

"Hey, come with me."

He looked up. "Why."

"Because Lily Evans is having a bad train ride so far and she needs her best friend."

He moved to stand, and then leaned back. "This isn't something to do with James Potter, is it?" He practically spat the name.

"Yes and no? James is responsible for her being unhappy. I think if you were to come sit with her she'd feel better."

He stood, grabbing his things. "Fine."

We returned to the cart, and as I moved to step in nearly ran smack into Remus Lupin who had ducked to the side to avoid the trolley. I smiled at him. "Remus! Fancy meeting you here."

"And you, Miss Drummond."

I glanced in the cart. "I think Lily would appreciate you sitting with us a moment."

He nodded and entered the cart with me. I bought a box of Berty Bott's and sat on my seat with my back to the wall and knees pulled up, snacking as Lily explained to Severus and Remus what she had told me and James and Sirius earlier. Severus agreed immediately, beginning to rattle off different potions he could make for our benefit, when Remus interrupted.

"Lily, if you told James and Sirius, they'll find a way to come with us regardless."

She shook her head. "Not if you keep this secret. Remus Lupin, if you tell them when we're doing this, I will personally brew a polyjuice potion that will turn you into Professor McGonagall, tie her up, and lock you in her office until she finds you and then she will punish you herself."

I had never heard her sound so threatening, and at Remus's surprised silence, I grinned. "I like that. You have more backbone than I gave you credit for, Lily."

She grinned and turned to Severus. "You're in, then?"

He nodded.

She turned to Remus. "And you?"

"I suppose."

And me. "What about you, Hazel?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

She nodded. "Alright. Do any of you have any free periods?"

"I'm not taking Ancient Runes this year. I'm free everyday except when we finish off with Divination."

"Why are you taking Divination?" Remus asked. I shrugged.

"It's fascinating."

"Not the point," Lily said. We discussed briefly, and it was discovered none of us were taking Ancient Runes. We decided on those days we would meet in the library and prepare. By that time, darkness had fallen outside.

"I'm headed back to Ravenclaw's cart," I said, standing with my empty jellybean box. "It's almost time to change into our uniforms."

"Alright," Lily said. "Thanks for coming to sit with me."

I smiled at her. "No problem." I grabbed my stuff. "Bye, Lily. Bye, Sev. Bye, Remus."

They said their goodbyes and I made my way down. I found the cart with my friends, who immediately questioned me but received no answers. I managed to get Xeno to leave under the pretense we had to change. Xeno had grown over the summer- his platinum blond hair was just past his jaw now, and his face had matured, gaining a more masculine jaw. It was odd when his prince-like looks met his eccentric personality. Xeno left and the four of us changed, and by the time I had just sat down, the train was slowing to a stop.

"Oh, I am so ready to be in the Great Hall with that feast," I said, one hand on my stomach. All I had eaten today was the jellybeans and the breakfast this morning. Normally, I would have packed a lunch, but I had forgotten. Maybe I did need Mum to drop me off.

"I'm just glad to have everyone back together," Pandora said. "It's good to see you, Hazel."

I smiled, meeting her blue eyes. She was so pretty- big blue eyes, soft features, blonde hair. It seemed as if she had somehow gotten even more beautiful over the summer. "It's good to see you, too, Pandora. Can I ask why you and Xeno were sitting so close?"

She blushed, the red coming out clear on her pale cheeks.

"They're in love," Yumi sighed, and then giggled teasingly. Pandora crossed her arms.

"We are not in love! He's just…" She gazed fondly at the door he had exited through, her head tilting to the side and a small smile curving her lips. "He's sweet."

"He's batty," Cassi retorted, laughing.

"Maybe so, but I think he's sweet," Pandora argued, laughing.

"And you?" Cassi asked, looking back at me. "What have you been doing for so long, over on yonder Gryffindor cart?"

I rolled my eyes, grinning. "Cass, if I could tell you guys, I would- you know that. It's just… I need to know more. I need to understand what I'm dealing with before I say anything. To anyone. I can't even tell Dumbledore this."

"Then it sounds like something you shouldn't be doing," Cassi replied.

"And maybe it is," I snapped. "How do you know? You don't even know what it is."

"Because you won't tell me! You're too busy conspiring with Lily Evans and her Gryffindor friends."

"The only other Gryffindor even involved is Remus Lupin."

"Oh, great, the pretty boy with the sad eyes. What next, you start dating one?"

"Dating one what?"

"A Gryffindor! Do you even remember what house loyalty _is,_ Hazel?"

"Cassiopeia!" I exclaimed. "Don't you dare accuse _me_ of disloyalty! I'm on the quidditch team, I spent half my time arguing against Gryffindor's ability- I actually contribute to the house points, what do you do? Brew potions for the Slug Club?"

I knew as soon as I said it that I shouldn't have. I sat back.

"I'm sorry," I said, but I couldn't keep the bite out of my tone as the anger hadn't quite died yet. Cassi's hurt was quickly covered with fury.

"Whatever, Hazel. Have fun with your Gryffindor friends."

She grabbed her stuff and walked out of the booth. I glanced at Yumi and Pandora; neither would meet my eyes. I sighed and grabbed my bag, following.

The Great Hall bustled with life. Dumbledore had just finished his lengthy speech, and food greeted me as the words ended. I chowed down from my seat next to Xeno Lovegood, who looked at me and smiled. "Hungry?"

I covered my mouth, grinning, as I finished a sizable bite of a roll. I nodded at him and he laughed.

"Your OWLs went well, yeah?" I nodded again. "What classes are you taking this year?"

I told Xeno my schedule. "I don't know what I want to do after I leave here. I'm just taking classes in subjects I enjoy and want to know more about, and I'll still study as hard in them all so that whatever happens I'm qualified."

"Smart," Xeno commented. "Are you joining the Quidditch team again?"

"Definitely," I answered. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have quidditch."

"You might want to skip out on it this year, actually. There'll be so much studying to do, you'll want to study every spare second. There might not be enough time on the field."

"I opted out of Muggle Studies _and_ Ancient Runes so I could still have enough time to study and play quidditch."

We continued to chat, discussing the school year. Xeno was also clueless about what he wanted to after Hogwarts, but he had more of an idea than I did. I ate heartily, but it felt hollow as my stomach sank. It was only the first night and already Cassi and I had got into a fight. Maybe I was being secretive, but she was being nosy. And I had been out of line with that comment, but… She called me disloyal. I love Ravenclaw; I would be a Ravenclaw for life. Spending one train ride with a couple of Gryffindors wouldn't change that. If she had heard how the conversation with James went… But then she would have thought I was talking to yet more Gryffindors, and I can't have that. She would hold that against me, too.

The meal ended and the prefects began leading the way toward the dorms. The journey to the fifth floor passed with all the familiarity and warmth that was Hogwarts; other students bustled to their own dorms, the prefects shouted information to the first-years, and the portraits and ghosts greeted us all. The only thing missing for me was the usual camaraderie of Yumi, Pandora, and Cassi, all because Cassi started that fight. Instead, I walked next to Xeno, who accepted my company without complaint. We reached the door and the current prefect tapped the knocker.

The eagle woke up. "Ah, my house returns. Good to see you all. Now then: take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?"

"Wholesome."

The door opened and the Grey Lady swooped out, sighing her way down the stairs past us and through a few first-years who leapt away. We made our way in, and Yumi sought me out, dragging me into the dorm. As I changed into pajamas and chose my bed, Yumi began giving details about her trip to France, ecstatically yammering on. By the time we put out the lights and laid down, I was exhausted, and Yumi was still going. It truly was interesting- her cousin from Beauxbatons lived a very different life than any of us from Hogwarts.

Eventually, Yumi fell asleep, and I was left in silence. After a while, sleep finally caught me, and I fell into it without protest.

The next day, I learned, would not go quite as planned, mainly due to a certain Sirius Black.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

In the morning, I made the trip to Charms alone, and entered the room to find Flitwick had been waiting eagerly for us all. I sat down at an empty table- my mistake. Cassi sat across the room, forcing Pandora to go with her, who gave me an apologetic glance. I waved her off to let her know it was fine, and then began pulling out my books. Students filed in, and class began.

"I want to welcome all of you back to Hogwarts this year!" Flitwick began. "If you're in this class, it's due to your extraordinary ability in Charms-this will come in handy later on in all manners of life! Your first lesson will be-"

The door swung open, and in swept Sirius Black, as brash and arrogant as ever. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "Good to see you again, Professor Flitwick. Anywhere left to sit?"

"Not with Gryffindors, I'm afraid," Remus called out from his seat next to James.

Flitwick then, of course, pointed at me. "There's an open spot next to Miss Drummond, there. Sit, then, boy- you all need partners this year."

 _Lovely._ Sirius sat down next to me and gave me a cheeky smile. I resisted rolling my eyes and turned back to Flitwick, who had resumed speaking.

"This year's first lesson will be nonverbal spells. It's simple, really- you just think it, and then you can do it! You all remember, of course, our first charm together."

 _Wingardium Leviosa,_ I thought, but the words were shouted by Sirius next to me. I held up one hand, hiding my face from him.

"Today, I want you to try this. We will practice throughout the week, and next week Lumos and Nox. Go on, get started!"

"We're supposed to spend all this time in here doing one simple charm?" I muttered, underwhelmed. Flitwick had made it out like we would be doing advanced magic- as I had expected- and then left us with this.

"Nonverbal spells?" Sirius echoed my thoughts, scoffing and laughing. "How is that complicated?"

I sighed. "Alright, let's do this."

I set down my quill, close enough to the practice feathers Flitwick had started us out with. I lifted my wand, clearing my throat. _Wingardium Leviosa- swish and flick._ The quill didn't move. Sirius chuckled.

"Did you just try it, then? And utterly fail?"

Insulted, I crossed my arms. "Let's see you try, then."

"Fine, I will."

Sirius focused on the quill and moved his wand the proper way. It didn't budge for him, either. He sat back.

"Okay, whatever."

I nodded. "Yeah, uh huh. See? Not so easy, is it?"

"You can't do it either," he pointed out.

"I will, though."

He met my eyes. "Okay, so, whoever manages to make that quill float first owes the other a butterbeer when we go to Hogsmeade."

"Deal," I said, before realizing what I was agreeing to. Grabbing a butterbeer with someone was only something you did with friends or… I don't even want to think about the other possibility. I took a deep breath and turned to the quill. Sirius started repeating the motion with his own. Across the room, I saw Lily Evans had already managed to get her feather rising above the rest. _Show-off,_ I thought in playful jealousy. I didn't actually hold it against her.

I continued to try, and the clock ticked by. When there was only five more minutes, I really buckled down. I focused on the quill. I put all of my mental effort behind it, shouting in my head, and thought, _Wingardium Leviosa!_ The feather lifted.

In my glee, my focus lapsed and it fell. I groaned. Sirius tossed his head back, laughing. "Frustrated?"

"I got it to move!" I complained. "And then it fell again."

"Looks like you'll end up owing _me_ a butterbeer," Sirius said, grinning. I glared at him.

In the next five minutes, we couldn't manage to, but I knew we would. Or at least, _I_ would. I wasn't sure about Sirius. I had no idea why I was so competitive against him, but I had a feeling it involved how we had met. It had just always been this way.

The class ended and Sirius left. I had a free period; I tried to catch up with Cassi to talk to her about this before it became some long, drawn-out argument, but she rushed ahead when she noticed me following. With a sigh, I retreated to the library, and began to practice the nonverbal charm once more. And before long, without a distracting Gryffindor next to me making smart comments, I managed to master Wingardium Leviosa. Afterward, I started studying for my next class of the day- History of Magic. I would have to swing by and say hi to Professor Harley after last period, or otherwise I wouldn't see him today due to how my schedule was set up.

History of Magic zoomed by. Cassi wasn't taking it, so I was free to spend my time with Pandora and Yumi, both of whom were ecstatic to be back. And, of course, Amos Diggory was sitting with the Hufflepuffs and came to ask me where Cassi was and how she was doing. As he was taking Ancient Runes, I told him to ask her himself when he got in there, but that otherwise she was doing well. _Best friend is angry at me, and I'm still an excellent wing-woman. Ten points to Ravenclaw._

After History of Magic, it was time for lunch. I sat next to Xeno again, this time across from Pandora, who couldn't take her eyes off of him and was far more fascinated in his retelling of seventh-year Potions. I ate and then excused myself, crossing the room to the Gryffindor table.

I found Sirius in a short amount of time and tapped his shoulder. As he turned around, I had my wand out. _Wingardium Leviosa._ A roll rose from the table and he continued to look at me.

"Yes?" He asked. I smiled and pulled his shirt out, and then promptly dropped the roll within.

"I mastered it. You owe me a butterbeer."

Turning, I strolled away, to hear him laughing from behind and call out, "Just you wait, Hazel Drummond- I'll get you back!"

I walked backwards a moment. "I'll be waiting!"

As I went to turn back around, I smacked into Lucius Malfoy, who promptly glared at me. "Out of my way, mudblood!"

I reeled as he pushed past and turned to watch him. "I may be muggle-born, but at least I'm not a pompous ass!"

He whirled, wand out. The guy was insufferable! But before he could say anything, at the same moment Sirius had disarmed him and I had shouted, "Rictusempra!"

Lucius doubled over laughing and I walked forward as he struggled to get enough of a grip to counter. I cast the counter-spell, enabling Lucius to regain his composure. He straightened up, taller than me by over a head, and he glared at me.

"Why, you insolent little-"

"Silencio," I said, and he was rendered unable to speak. I glared. "Next time you decide to use your mouth, choose your words wisely."

I cast the counter for that, freeing him, and whirled around, striding out of the Great Hall. I had just started down the hall toward the Ravenclaw Tower when someone caught me arm, jogging up next to me.

"Wait!" I glanced over- Sirius. He tugged me back some. "Hazel, don't let Lucius get to you. The guy's horrible, but he's not worth ruining your first day back."

"My first day is already ruined," I snapped, needing to rant. "My best friend is mad at me because she thinks I'm disloyal to Ravenclaw because I sat with Lily on the train. She won't even talk to me now that I refuse to tell her what Lily said, but I promised Lily I wouldn't say anything, and I stand by my word. It's none of Cassi's business anyways. And then my only real friend so far that stood by me is Xenophilius Lovegood, and he and I can only really talk about school. I thought we might learn something interesting in Charms but it's just nonverbal spells. I get that they're useful, but why is it a main segment of the curriculum? And to top it all off, the only person who's really spoken to me since I got here last night is you, and we aren't even friends."

"We could be," Sirius offered. He smiled. "You seem to need a friend."

"Maybe, sure," I said, "But what I really need is to have my old friends back. I don't see why she dislikes mine and Lily's friendship so much."

We had reached Ravenclaw Tower, but I wasn't quite ready to leave Sirius. I sat down on the steps and he sat down next to me, clasping his hands. "Well, maybe she's jealous. You two are best friends, and you're running off with someone else your first chance you get. And then you won't even tell her when you're supposed to be able to trust her."

"I didn't rant for advice, Sirius, I just ranted to get it out of my system."

He wrapped an arm around me, rubbing my arm. "Maybe you need to hear it, though."

I looked over at him, straight-faced, only to realize how close we were sitting.

"Haz-" I looked up to see Cassi cut off mid-call. She was standing frozen in the hallway. Wrath suddenly masked her features. "I knew it! I knew you would start dating one of them!"

"Cassi!" I exclaimed, standing. "It's not that- I'm not dating him! It's not what it looks like!"

Cassi was already running off though. I started off after her, and stopped.

"Cass, please- I wouldn't date a Gryffindor!"

I sighed, and then turned at the sound of footsteps to see Sirius striding away. _It's only the first day and there's already this much drama. Sixth year isn't exactly going as planned._

I chased Cassi down, and finally caught her with just enough time to say my piece before we would have to go to our next class. "Cassi, please, listen to me. I'm not dating him. Give me one good reason why I would date Sirius Black."

Cassi glared. "There's what happened in second year."

"That was ages ago," I pointed out. "It's nothing. I'm not interested in dating anyone, you know that. I told you that a week ago."

She whirled on me. "How can I trust anything you say, Hazel!? You can't even tell your best friend what some Gryffindor girl told you!"

"Since when has house rivalry mattered so much to you anyway?" I demanded, and then sighed and pulled her into a corner. I lowered my voice. "Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to _promise_ not to tell anyone."

"I promise," she huffed. "Now tell me."

I sighed, glancing around again. "Lily came to visit London during the summer and decided to go see Hogwarts and the Forbidden Forest. Alone. She heard something roaring in the night and everything else in the forest was fleeing from it, but she couldn't get close enough to find out what it was. She wants me, Severus Snape, and Remus Lupin to go with her to go find out."

"Why just the four of you? Isn't that dangerous? Does she know what it was?"

"The four of us because it's the most practical."

"Less attention, I get it."

"It is dangerous, though, which is why we have to be extremely careful- part of that is not telling anyone. She doesn't know what it is, either, which is why she wants me to go- I'm the Care of Magical Creatures person, I guess, and she wants my expertise."

"So, you aren't dating a Gryffindor?"

"No."

"And you do still trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm sorry for being an idiot."

I nodded. "It's okay. I expect it from you by now."

She socked me in the arm and I laughed, just as it was time to move to our next period. I looped my arm through hers.

"Walk with me to History of Magic?"

"Sure."

Last period came and Cassi disappeared to Ancient Runes. I made my way to the library for the second time today, though for a very different purpose this time. And I already had a train-load of homework from History of Magic. I stepped into the library and sat down where Remus was already waiting.

"Long day?" He asked at the sight of me.

"You have no idea. I think Sirius Black might hate me. Please apologize to him for me."

Remus cocked one eyebrow. "You'll have to handle that one yourself."

"You're one of his best friends, you do it."

"It'll sound better coming from you. What did you do?"

I sighed and explained. Remus whistled low, and then Lily and Severus showed up. The two sat down at the table and Lily leaned in close.

"Alright, here's what we'll do. The new moon is in two days. We'll plan for the half-moon in two weeks, and when it comes, we'll meet at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. We'll meet on occasion so as not to arouse suspicion and plan for it. Plan on your own time as well, and bring your ideas when we meet. Sev, you're in charge of potions. Hazel, I want you reviewing the Care of Magical Creatures textbook when you have time. Remus, your job is to figure out the best defensive spells against creatures. You may need to meet with Hazel more often."

"And what will you be doing?" I asked.

"I'll be trying to figure out where, exactly, we're going, and the best way to get there."

"For two weeks?" Remus said. Lily nodded.

"If I figure it out before then, I'll find something else useful to do. For now, I have a lot of homework from History of Magic to do, so I will see you three Thursday, same time, in the Clocktower Courtyard."

"Got it."

I stood. "I have to go as well. There's a book in the Ravenclaw Common Room that's perfect for the report for History of Magic." I paused, turning back. "Remus, please- tell Sirius sorry for me."

Lily caught me on the way out. "Why are you apologizing to Sirius?"

"I said something daft."

She glanced at me. "Which was?"

"I- my friend, Cassi, is being a bit extreme about house rivalries this year and she was already afraid that because I sat next to you, I was being disloyal to Ravenclaw. Then I ended up ranting to Sirius and as he tried to comfort me, she saw, and thought something else was happening, and I said I don't date Gryffindors and he stormed off."

Lily looked shocked. "Sirius tried to comfort you?"

"He did. Is that really so surprising?"

"Yes. I wasn't aware he was capable of sympathy. And you said he stormed off after you said you don't date Gryffindors?"

"Lily, no- it isn't like that."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm certain." But as I said it, I realized I wasn't so certain.

It's too early for this. I have a report to do.

 **A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying so far!**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

I made my way down the halls toward the Ravenclaw common room, and glimpsed a familiar face. I stopped short. As much as I didn't like him, he was my only option right now. I turned back and caught James Potter by the arm, pulling him toward me some. "James, I need a favor."

"What is it, Drummond?"

I cleared my throat, trying to keep my composure from lapsing into the usual irritation I felt at the Gryffindor chaser. "I need you to talk to Sirius for me."

He narrowed his eyes, and then smirked and folded his arms. "What's in it for me?"

I thought about it. "What do you want?"

"Convince Lily to let me go with her to check out that thing in the Forbidden Forest."

I shook my head. "Not that. I'll talk to Sirius myself, then."

I started to walk off, and he caught me this time to stop me. "Wait, Hazel. I'll do it, but you have to do something in return."

I sighed and turned to see him. "What is it, James?"

He said and I groaned. "And that's the only way you'll talk to him for me?"

"That's the only way."

I sighed. "Fine."

"Wow, you really do want to get back on Sirius's good side."

"I just don't want my Charms partner to be mad at me. Bye, Potter."

"Bye, Drummond! Don't forget!"

I made my way to the Ravenclaw common room, now with my extra homework plaguing me. I started on the report for History of Magic, getting it most of the way done before I was joined by Pandora, who sat down and started juggling books in the air with her wand.

"How was your first day?" Pandora asked. I groaned, starting on the conclusion.

"Let me finish this conclusion and then I'll tell you all about it. I actually need your help with something."

"Is Cassi still mad at you?"

"No, but that's part of why I need your help."

"I'm sensing a story."

"Your senses are correct. Now hush."

 _Dear Lily,_

 _It's been lovely to see you again. You must have gotten even prettier over the summer, somehow. The way your red hair shines, it's almost gold- you are truly the heart of Gryffindor, and you hold my heart as well._

 _I look forward to seeing you at the Quidditch match and I hope you'll see me at Hogsmeade. I'll have a butterbeer waiting, and should you join me, I know how to get a discount at Honeydukes._

 _I would have written this better, but I'm far too distracted by how green your eyes are, like lilypads._

 _Sincerely,_

 _James_

"I thought Ravenclaws in all their wit and intellect would be able to write a good love letter," James complained. I sighed.

"You wanted a love letter to Lily from you, I wrote one. Now did you talk to Sirius?"

"Talk to him yourself in Defense Against the Dark Arts," James said, strolling away.

"James Potter, if you don't talk to him for me, I will tell Lily!"

He paused, and then glared at me. "Fine. But if you force me to talk to him, I won't say what you want me to."

"I'm not forcing you- we had a deal!"

"Go to class!"

"You go to class!" _Insufferable, arrogant- ugh!_ I turned around and strode quickly to DADA. As I moved to walk in, I ran into a tall bloke with shoulder-length dark hair. "Sirius!"

"Regulus," the guy corrected. "The other Black."

He strode away and I watched in surprise. The resemblance between the two was uncanny. I made my way inside the class to see I was among the first ones in, with Cassi already waiting and Professor Bronte stacking papers. He looked up and grinned.

"Welcome back, Miss Drummond!"

"Hi, professor," I said, making my way to my usual seat next to Cassi. "I would have come by to say hello sooner, but yesterday was more hectic than I anticipated."

"Oh, no! What happened?"

I shook my head. "Just usual adolescent issues. Right, Cass?"

Cassi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure."

The room filled and then class started.

"Now then," Professor Bronte began, "I'm aware those of you in Charms are learning something similar, but this is on another level. We will be learning nonverbal spells for defense and offense. To begin with, you will partner up and practice expelliarmus, a very basic but very practical spell."

We began to try it. My tactic with wingardium leviosa worked here as well- I had disarmed Cassi within the first ten minutes. Cassi, on the other hand, was having difficulty. I explained to her my method, and she worked to learn it, and had disarmed me by the end of class. But if it was this difficult just with basic spells, I couldn't imagine how much worse it would get. Professor Bronte passed out the syllabus; we would be working on nonverbal spells and resisting the Imperius curse, apparently, as well as learning patronuses. I looked forward to it.

After DADA, I made my way to Arithmancy. Sirius had avoided so much as looking at me all through first period, and as far as I knew, we didn't have Arithmancy at the same time. I sighed and entered the room, finding Professor Llewellyn already in the room. Only six other students were taking N.E.W.T. level arithmancy, and I couldn't blame anyone for not wanting to. To my surprise, Severus Snape was in here, as well as Amos Diggory. I sat down next to Amos, as I doubted Severus wanted my company right now. He rarely seemed to.

"Drummond!" Amos greeted me. "Good seeing you again. How's your summer been?"

I always had an easy smile around Amos. He was just that type of guy. "Summer was lovely, Amos. It was nice hearing from you so you could figure out if my best friend was still available."

Amos chuckled. "Last year, she was chasing after other blokes or too focused on her homework. I wanted to see if I could get a chance with her."

Amos was handsome, and smart. The only thing that would turn Cassi off to him was that he was a quidditch player- a keeper, at that- and was invested in the sport as I was. But if she could tolerate me, she could likely tolerate him. I smiled at him. "I can get her to bump into you at Hogsmeade soon here. When is the first trip?"

"Three more weeks," Amos said. "Last I heard. Could you get her to talk to me before then?"

I nodded. "More than likely. Maybe in the library this afternoon."

"That would be perfect. Please, Hazel."

I laughed. He was so lovestruck. How hadn't I seen it before? "If that's what you want. But if you hurt my best friend, I'll shove your broomstick up your rectum."

"Understood," he said, grimacing, and then chuckled. "Has she, you know, mentioned me at all?"

"Amos," I said, "You have to make yourself more known to her. Cassi is very pretty and very smart and very disinterested in quidditch, as well as very loyal to Ravenclaw. If you want her to notice Hufflepuff's keeper, you have to give her more of a reason to than your pretty face."

"My face is pretty?"

I nodded. "You have… Nice eyes, I suppose. Very pretty brown color. And you have a nice jawline, as well as you're smart enough to keep her interest and you have a nice physique."

"I'm starting to think you might be more interested in me than her."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, Amos- you're still my quidditch rival. She won't see you as that. Besides, I have my eyes on someone else. I'm trying to give you a good confidence boost so that you can focus on the qualities to stun her with."

"I don't want to _stun_ her, I want to woo her!"

I chuckled. "You know what I meant. Okay, when you talk to her, make eye contact and jokes. Make her laugh, and laugh with her. Then complain about how much homework you have for this class, and how it isn't hard at all, just a lot of work."

"What will complaining do?"

"It isn't the act, it's the subject- you're telling her how good you are at arithmancy and how willing you are to work hard, without directly stating it. Then she'll admire you more and start to think, wow, this eye contact with those pretty eyes is actually also giving me a chance to get to know someone who might be smarter than I thought. And then she'll start considering you."

Amos looked at me quizzically. "You know, that old saying about Ravenclaws being the cleverest isn't wrong."

"Had you asked a Gryffindor, they would have said to simply walk up and ask her to go with you. That's why it's best to ask a Ravenclaw."

Amos grinned. "Not wrong, but then, where's your bloke?"

I was saved from answering that I was single by the professor starting class. Half of the period was spent taking rigorous notes, the other half spent with individual practice. We were allowed to talk quietly, but Amos and I were both too focused on our work. I was surprised to look up at a shadow to see Severus hovering by my desk.

"Yes, Severus?" I asked, and he sighed. Reluctantly, he set down his parchment.

"How do I do this part?"

I grinned. "The potions genius doesn't know how to do something?"

He snatched up the parchment. "Never mind."

"Wait, Sev- I'm joking. Please, come back."

With twice as much reluctance, he returned. I helped him through the process and together we worked on the next one, and then he pulled over a chair and joined the desk Amos and I sat at. Honestly, I was surprised, and I couldn't imagine what this must look like to the other three students- a Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, working together diligently of their own accord with no professor requiring them to. The class ended with homework stated, and after this it was back to Charms. I really hoped James had actually spoken to Sirius, but I also really hoped he hadn't.

I reached Flitwick's class, and sat down at my desk from the day before. After a moment, Sirius came in and looked over as if disgusted to see I had actually shown up to class. I decided it might be better not to gauge his expression.

Today, Flitwick had set goblets on our desks. We were meant to attempt nonverbal augumenti. I began to practice, mentally focusing on the word. This was harder than expelliarmus, as I had to imagine what I was doing with something I couldn't see. I was finding visualisation to be a crucial key to nonverbal spells, and not having something to visualise was troublesome.

The class was winding to an end and I turned to Sirius. "I'm guessing James didn't speak to you?"

"About what?" Sirius muttered, swishing his wand.

"I asked him to speak to you for me. I asked Remus, too, but he refused."

Sirius looked at me now, and with an expression I couldn't read. "Why?"

"To apologize," I said. "I was out of line yesterday. I shouldn't have said what I did, and I only said it because I was desperate to have my best friend forgive me. I still shouldn't have said that."

"Do you know why I was mad?" Sirius asked. I waited for him to continue. "Because for someone whose house depicts them as witty and intelligent, you would think that would mean they wouldn't judge others by house. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a Gryffindor. I could understand if it was because I'm on the quidditch team, but if it was, say, Moony- er, Remus- who was interested in you and you turned him down because he's in Gryffindor, then you would be passing up a wonderful man based on something completely idiotic."

"I know," I sighed. "I was wrong, as I said. It's not about quidditch, either. I spent the past hour in arithmancy with Amos Diggory."

"So that's it, you prefer Hufflepuffs."

"Sirius, I don't-"

"Give it a few years, that Amos Diggory will be huffle-puffin' his way to the ministry with his boring day job."

"Sirius."

"And you'll look up, and you'll see me and James on the cover of the Daily Prophet, for being the greatest quidditch players in the world."

"Sirius."

"You could be part of it, you could fly, but you're going to go true to your name and bury your roots like a Hazel tree and be married to Amos huffle-puffin' Diggory-"

"Are you _Sirius_ right now?" I interrupted, and he chuckled.

"I'm not mad, you know that, right?"

I grinned. "I picked up on it when you said huffle-puffin'."

"Oh, no, I was still mad then. I got over it laughing at my own jokes. Did you really make a pun about my being Sirius?"

"I did."

"That was low of you."

"It was a little Black-hearted."

Sirius gave me a look. "You didn't."

"I did."

Sirius grinned, and shook his head. He turned to his goblet and flicked his wand. A spurt of water filled the cup. I gaped.

"How did you do that!"

Sirius chuckled. "Magic."

"Sirius Black, I will hex you in your sleep."

"Ooh, I'd bet you would love to see me sleeping. You'd end up crawling into bed with me."

I turned to my goblet. _Augumenti._ Water, perfect and clear. I narrowed my eyes at Sirius. "You would like that, wouldn't you?"

Class ended just after I said it and I strolled out, just to have Sirius catch up to me as I started toward lunch.

"What class do you have next?" He asked.

"I have quidditch next. We're practicing for a little while and tryouts are next week."

Sirius sighed. "Do you have to go play quidditch?"

I glanced at him. "Yes. I'm the best beater we've got."

"You wouldn't rather, maybe, go work on a secret project with me?"

He had caught my interest and he knew it. I stepped over to the wall outside the Great Hall. "What secret project?"

He grinned. "You have to come with me to find out. We planned it on the ride here."

"Can I come after quidditch practice?"

"It might be too late."

"Give me through lunch to think about it," I decided, and then stepped into the cafeteria. I sat next to Cassi, a refreshing change from the day before, and had Yumi across from me next to Pandora who sat next to Xeno. Xeno had integrated into our little group without any problem.

"So then McGonagall deducts points from Slytherin because of that one person who couldn't manage to complete the spell, and then he turns the brush into a goblet and promptly walks out," Xeno said.

"What was he originally supposed to turn it into?" Cassi asked, grabbing a roll from the center of the table.

"A hand mirror, actually. He claimed the lesson was 'dull and feminine' and he refused to do it."

Cassi rolled her eyes. "Slytherins."

This reminded me I had to set up Cassi to meet with Amos today- that was supposed to be during quidditch. I hadn't thought about it. I turned to Cassi. "Cass, could you do a favor for me?"

She turned, sipping pumpkin juice. "What is it?"

"Will you find Amos Diggory? He's supposed to be in the library after this, and I need his notes from Arithmancy. While you're there, could you, maybe, stay and chat with him? He and I were supposed to do some studying and then I remembered I have quidditch."

Cassi cocked an eyebrow. "This isn't a set-up, is it?"

"No!" I lied, keeping my tone convincing. "I honestly just forgot. I feel bad about just leaving him there."

She sighed. "You can't send someone else?"

"Cassi, you know Yumi has astronomy, and Pandora's taking Ancient Runes, so she's bound to have homework. You're my only hope, dearest Cassi."

Cassi sighed. "Fine, I'll go. If that's what you truly desire of me."

"It is. Thank you, Cass!"

We continued to sit through lunch until it ended, and I found Sirius on my way out. I pulled him to the side. "Where is this secret project?"

"Go to the seventh floor, on the corridor with the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Walk past three times thinking you need to see me. A door will show up. You'll see."

I stared at him. "Are you saying there's a secret room?"

"I'm telling you there's a secret room, and that's where you'll meet me. Go to quidditch practice, make an appearance, and then say your stomach hurts and you'll be back at the common room. Maybe you ate too much."

I felt my eyes widen. "This is all getting very conspiratorial. I'm involved in too many secret plots."

He chuckled. "Maybe so, but it's your sixth year- you only have this year and the next one to really live life to the fullest at Hogwarts."

"You're probably right. Okay, fine, I'll be there."

The stomach excuse worked perfectly, aside from Yumi- who spontaneously decided to try being Chaser, supposedly due to her French cousin's influence- offering to walk me to Madam Pomfrey's (which I refused, saying it wasn't that serious). I made my way to the seventh floor and found the tapestry. Barnabas stared me down and I met his eyes.

"This better work," I muttered to the tapestry, and then started walking, thinking, _I need to see Sirius Black. I need to see Sirius Black._ I paced the corridor three times and then heard a noise like a lock clicking. I turned around- to my utter amazement, there actually was a door. _How did they even find out about this?_

I opened the door and looked in. The sight inside was even more incredible.

I stepped in quickly so I could close the door behind me, and then took a moment to look around. The room was long and narrow, with armchairs and bookshelves and maps on the walls. At a table in the back, Sirius sat with multiple sheets of parchment in front of him, James standing over his shoulder, Remus pacing next to them, and Peter Pettigrew in the corner. I walked forward to see what was on the paper- a map.

"What's this?" I asked. Sirius looked up, the other three as well.

"Sirius, why is she here?" James asked. "We didn't agree on her coming in here."

"She's a valuable asset," Sirius pointed.

"Sirius! We agreed this would just be the four of us."

I sighed. "James, whatever the project is, you don't have to put my name on it or give me any credit. I don't even know what you four are doing."

"Good, so you can leave then," James declared. I met his eyes, challenge flaring in me.

"I already know how to get in here. I'll just come back. You might as well tell me what you're working on."

"It's a map," Remus said.

"Remus!" James exclaimed.

Remus gave his friend a pointed look. "She might as well know, she's already here. Lily trusts her, why shouldn't you?"

"She's going to go blabbing to her Ravenclaw friends. No one else needs to know about this."

I groaned. "I'm not going to tell anyone! You already know I can keep a secret."

"James, it's too late now," Sirius pointed out. "Just tell her."

James ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand at odd angles. "Fine. We're making a map of Hogwarts- of all of it. It's even going to show where everyone is. It will automatically update to any changes."

"That's brilliant," I said, leaning over to get a better look. "Bloody brilliant."

James scoffed. "If you're going to be sarcastic, you can just-"

"I'm not," I corrected, looking up at him and then back at the map as Sirius drew in Professor Bronte's classroom. "I'm being serious. This is truly fantastic."

"We know," James said. "It's going to be kept in here, where no one will find it. If news about it gets out, Dumbledore will never let us keep it. We have to keep it safe, and keep it hidden. If anyone questions you about it, you know _nothing_ , alright?"

"Understood," I said. "Completely ignorant. So, Sirius, why did you want me to come help with this? I would think between the four of you, you'd be more than capable."

"We don't know anything about the other common rooms," Sirius explained, pausing his artistry. "You can give us insight about the Ravenclaw common room. I know you're friends with Amos Diggory; he can tell you about Hufflepuff's. And… The only Slytherin that might help is Snape. He hates all of us."

"I can't imagine why," I muttered.

"And Lily can't know," Sirius added. "She would go straight to Dumbledore. She'll keep a secret if it seems reasonable to her, but she would see this map as dangerous, and invasive. That's why I had to go to you."

I nodded. "So you want me to befriend Severus and Amos and manage to find out about their common rooms, so you four can make a map."

"Exactly," James said. "You're the only one who can. Slytherins hate Gryffindors. None of us have any reason to talk to them, so the only way to find out about their common room and how to get to it would be to go there."

"I understand that part," I said, "And I'll help. But Hogwarts has all kinds of hidden passages- how will you find them all?"

They glanced at each other. James turned to Remus. "Remus?"

"James, no. Not yet. If she proves she can keep a secret, we'll tell her, but until then we have to keep that secret."

James nodded. "Okay."

I just looked at them. "Okay, then."

"Okay!" Sirius said, alleviating the temporary awkwardness. "So far, we're almost done with the first floor. Our goal is to have this done by the end of the year." He grinned at me. "Are you in?"

I looked at him for a long moment. "Alright. What are we calling it?"

"The Marauders Map."


	5. Chapter Five

The rest of the first week passed uneventfully. It was good to see my professors again. Professor Harley, as much as I would deny it to Cassi, really was a very handsome fellow, and growing better-looking with age. Slughorn, to my surprise, invited me to the Slug Club's first get-together of the year. I had never been a member of the Slug Club and to be invited was an honor to me. In only the first week, I had done more homework than I had in the last three months of fifth year, and I had been studying for OWLs then.

We met for the Marauder's Map project only one more time that first week. Today, Saturday, I had decided to dedicate the day to working on studying, and going to see Professor Harley and Professor Kettleburn. Harley because he was planning to give me extra tea to do tea-reading over the holidays, and already we were going to start trying tea-reading with different types of tea so I could learn the differences before being left on my own. As for Professor Kettleburn, he had just gotten in a crate of baby puffskeins, and he wanted to see my treatment of them.

Midway through the morning, I left Pandora and Yumi at the table and went to the Divination classroom. I found Professor Harley already in there, along with Xeno. Surprising. I sat down at one of the front tables, next to Xeno, who greeted me with a smile and resumed listening to Professor Harley.

"The crystal ball flashed blue," Harley was saying, "Which, as you both know, is a good omen. I received this the same day as I saw scissors depicted in the tea leaves. It turns out both were correct: the unlucky scissors symbolism preceded a large fight with a girl I fancied at the time, and just after the fight I discovered she was actually," he chuckled, "a werewolf. I discovered this by going to visit her to apologise, and she had turned and nearly killed me. I barely escaped with my life."

"I suppose it's very good indeed you found that out on time," Xeno said. "It would have been very unfortunate if she had turned one night in bed."

Harley's pale cheeks flushed. "I don't- never mind." He chuckled. "Now then, you two are here at my request, as my two top divination students."

"You, too, Hazel?" Xeno said. I nodded.

"And I would like to divulge a bit of divination secrecy," Harley said. "Certain teas are more powerful than others. You don't want to dedicate your best psychic ability to a common marketplace tea. Instead, today, we will try first with a very potent East Asian tea- I was given it as a gift, and have been saving it. It's a combination of orange pekoe black tea, but with essence of asphodel and a hint of powdered moonstone."

"What's the purpose of the asphodel?" I asked, identifying it with different potions.

"It can waken someone from a magical sleep. For these purposes, it's meant to awaken the psychic abilities in the drinker." He reached over to a teapot with steam slowly filtering out of the spout. "Now then, let's drink some."

He poured some into both teacups, and then into one of his own. Courteously, Xeno and I waited for him to join us at the table with his cup, and then began to drink. I cleared my throat after the first sip, and Xeno coughed lightly.

"That bad, eh?" Harley asked, grinning.

"It's not terrible," I said, laughing. "It's just not… Well, it's very strong."

He took a sip, and I swallowed down half the cup of thin, potent tea. It definitely woke the senses. After a few minutes of idle chatter, we finished the tea. In the bottom, the leaves were a range of colors- greens, oranges, browns. Xeno gasped at his, and even Harley seemed amazed.

"Do either of you have anything in your cups?" He asked. Both of us nodded.

"I have…" Xeno hesitated, peering closer, "A cat, in the center of a spiral. A swan and a 'P' are by the outside."

Harley grinned. "And what do you suppose that means?"

"A cat represents good luck, and a free spirit. The spiral shows change, possible challenges. The swan… Beauty, love. The P is almost right next to it. A person, beautiful, a love interest?"

Harley nodded. "It would seem so."

"What's in your cup?" I asked Harley, who peered down. He sighed happily.

"A shamrock. And a butterfly. It looks as though I'll have a good year."

"What's in yours?" Xeno asked. I looked down.

Five symbols were in the cup. In the top-left, the sign of a dog- close friendship; in the top-right, the sign of Jupiter- close friendships; in the bottom-left, Mars, clear as day- energy; and in the bottom-right, a doe. In the middle was a dragon. The symbolism seemed obvious to me: dragons represented a challenge, often dangerous, and around it were Jupiter, who made me think of Remus, and Mars, or James, the deer, Lily, and the dog- a friend. It could be Cassi, or a friend to come. I peered closer; next to the dog, in a faint pattern, was the sign of Venus. My cheeks reddened. Definitely not Cassi, then.

"We should name them," I told Professor Kettleburn. The puffskeins danced around my feet, hopping about looking everywhere. One was curled on my lap, humming contentedly. Professor Kettleburn chuckled.

"I would recommend it, but they don't have much longer here."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"They're only here until they're raised, and then they go to the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley."

"We can't keep just one?"

He laughed. "You can, if you pay for it. Ah, Lyra! You made it."

The Gryffindor fourth year trotted up to Professor Kettleburn. "I did! Our captain was debating whether or not we would practice quidditch today, so I wasn't sure if I would have to come now or later." She noticed the puffskeins. "Puffskeins! Oh, Professor, they're adorable!"

Professor Kettleburn chuckled. "I think so, too. Hazel, here, was just talking about naming them, but we can't keep them for long."

Lyra crouched down, petting them. "We should name them, just to at least distinguish them. Then when we give them to wherever they go, we can give descriptions of their personalities."

"Smart thinking, for a Gryffindor," I teased, and Kettleburn frowned at me.

"Do not bring house rivalries here, Miss Drummond."

I laughed. "It's only in jest, Professor. I agree we should name them. What genders are they?"

"Five males, one female. That one is the female."

Lyra glanced at me. "Let's name her… Hmm. What's one of the other stars in Cassiopeia's constellation?"

I looked over at her. "Shouldn't you know this? She's _your_ sister."

"True, but I don't know."

I thought about it. "I can't think of the names in the constellation- stop giving me that look- and none of the neighboring stellar names would be fitting."

"Cygnus?" Lyra suggested. I shook my head.

"Cygnus was a swan."

"Fluffy."

I chuckled. "No, something more creative than that."

"Clementine?"

"I like that. Okay, the female is Clementine. The males should all have rhyming names."

We ended up with Clementine, Barry, Gary, Larry, Jerry, and Perry. Professor Kettleburn still disapproved of our naming them, but I was taking quite a liking to Perry- the one asleep on my lap- while Jerry was the most lively and Barry demanded the most attention while Larry was the most cuddly.

I returned to my dorm after helping care for the puffskeins a while, and then changed. Yumi had stopped by to let me know our quidditch captain, Bartram Clearwater, had declared we would be playing quidditch today. I changed quickly into my uniform from last year and met them at the pitch.

Quidditch practice went well, better than Tuesday. It was good to have the camaraderie of the team again, combined with Yumi, who, while an amateur, was catching on quick to being a chaser. To my surprise, Bartram had her try being a seeker for a few moments, competing against our usual seeker. After the practice, it was time to go eat, and Yumi and I walked straight to the Great Hall in our uniforms.

"I'm worried," Yumi confessed as we made our way up the path.

"About?"

She sighed. "My mum. She's been ill lately, and she refuses to go to the doctor about it. She says it's a muggle ailment, and that it can be taken care of without a problem. She says she's just waiting to get the means to buy a certain herb to take care of it, but I don't believe her. She's growing weaker every day, and I'm not there to take care of her."

I rubbed her back consolingly. "If you'd like, I can see if my mum can go visit her. They got on well last time they met."

"Please?" Yumi said, sounding more desperate than I had heard her maybe ever. "If I could get an honest update on her, I would be so thankful."

"I'll see what I can do," I promised. "I haven't heard from my mother since I got here, which is surprising, given how serious she was about writing to me. She may have gotten that job she wanted, but if not, then I'll make sure she goes to visit your mum."

"Thank you, Hazel. It would be so appreciated."

"Don't thank me until I'm sure I can do something. On a lighter note, how do you like playing quidditch so far?"

"Oh, it's wonderful," she said. "I think I might like being seeker better than being a chaser, but I'm a better chaser, and Natalia Abbot was glaring at me as if I had offended everything she ever stood for when I tried being seeker."

"Don't let her sway your opinion. If you're a good seeker, then you're a good seeker. We could use two- something might happen to one of you."

"That's true. I don't know; I'll practice more and then figure it out."

"If you want, I can help you practice," I offered.

She smiled. "I might take you up on that. Anyway, I'm starving- quidditch is much more energy-consuming than it looks."

I chuckled. "Yeah, it is. I ate so much second year after I started playing."

I spotted a familiar face and excused myself, walking over. He looked over. "Oh, it's you- the girl who messed up my name."

I smiled. "Yeah, sorry. I'm Hazel. I actually wanted to apologize for that."

"I'm tempted to call you Hawthorn, but I'm not that rude. Did you need something?"

I shrugged. "Not really, I just had a question."

He raised his eyebrows, as if telling me to ask.

"What's your relation to Sirius?"

"He's my brother," Regulus said. "But we don't act like it. He's all happy and prissy in Gryffindor, spending his time with muggle-borns and long-standing rivals of the Black family. Don't get me wrong, I'm not prejudiced against blood, I just don't understand how he can turn his back on everything his family values."

I was growing a strong distaste for Regulus. He was nothing like his brother. "Maybe he's right to. You should consider it. Anyway, I'll leave you to whatever it is you do."

I strode off, ending up walking next to Amos Diggory, who began by thanking me. I looked at him quizzically. He grinned ecstatically and said, "You helped me become known to Cassi! She asked if we could study together again on Monday."

 _That works- I'm supposed to meet with the Marauders and with Lily that day._ "Congratulations! If you'll excuse me, however, I have to go speak to Lily. Remember- seem smart!"

I ran off as I spotted the redhead and flagged her down. "Lily! I have an idea. I may know a better place to prepare for… Next Monday."

She looked over at me in surprise. "Really?"

I nodded. "But I have others I have to speak to first about it. It's their hideaway. I'll let you know, okay?"

"Okay. Find me in the library tomorrow. We'll play chess and discuss."

I agreed to and then finally reached the Ravenclaw table. I squeezed in between Yumi and Xeno and started to eat. I chowed down, as I had the night before last, and enjoyed it more this time than last time.

Xeno told them about the tea reading, and Pandora looked at him adoringly. I wondered briefly how long it would be until they got together. I noticed Cassi look over at Amos and then at me, realizing I had noticed her staring. I grinned at her.

"What?" She asked, reddening.

"You fancy him," I sighed, grinning. She gasped.

"I- I do not!" She floundered. "He's just a friend is all."

"Suit yourself, but I know you're curious about what he said about you earlier while I walked with him here."

She leaned forward. "What did he say?"

"Admit you fancy him!"

"Who does she fancy?" Yumi asked, paying attention now while Pandora babbled on to Xeno about something called a rackspurt.

"Nobody!" Cassi protested, but she was going redder by the minute.

"She fancies someone and he isn't in our house, so she's afraid to say so."

"I am not."

"Prove it," I dared, and she backed down.

But then she surprised me. "I will. I'll ask him to join me at Slughorn's Christmas party, if you take a date as well."

I stared at her, open-mouthed, and then nodded. "Very well."

"Wait, no-"

"Deal. Too late."

She sighed. "What happens if I break the deal?"

"I tell him myself."

She glared through narrowed eyes, and then finally accepted it. "Fine. But that gives me until December, so no pressuring me. It's only been the first week."

"Fine."

"It would make sense! Just hide the map while we're in there."

"The room is versatile, use it differently."

"Oh, come on, Sirius- you know you want to know more about whatever it is Lily's chasing, as does James. Remus is already a part of it. Peter… I don't talk to him much. But the little study you four have set up is perfect! You can sit over there and discuss whatever it is you fellows discuss, and then on the side those of us going into the forest can discuss whatever we need to. And say what we find in the forest needs somewhere to stay, the room can double as that as well-"

"Hazel, no. It's impractical! Lily will figure out about the map, and then she'll stop it from coming into being."

"Just say it's where you guys hang out! Everyone knows the four of you are almost always inseparable and are likely to hang out in secret hideaways. Just tell her it's where you go to get away."

Sirius sighed. "I'll talk to the other three about it, but I'm not promising anything."

I nodded. "That's fine, she just needs to know by Monday. She wants to meet up with me and Severus and Remus and that would be just before going to work on the map. If you want, I can present the idea of the map to her in a way that she won't notice it's already a thing- I'll say it's an idea I had and that I want to know how she would feel about it. Then it'll be less guesswork and we'll know the risks."

Sirius glanced at the hallway. "Alright, fine. Do that and let me know what happens, and then I'll meet you in the Clocktower Courtyard before lunch tomorrow. Tell me how it goes, and I'll get James there with me, and the three of us can discuss."

"This very quickly went from a tolerable meeting with you to an irritating afternoon with you and James."

Sirius grinned. "Why is it irritating with him?"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, it's irritating with you, too, if he's there."

Sirius chuckled. "I know. We do that on purpose."

"Well, you should stop," I said, but I was grinning nonetheless. It was infuriating how I had such a hard time being _actually_ mad at him.

"I don't think I will."

"Why not?"

He grinned, and I realized we had stepped forward and now stood incredibly close. "Because you still come around, so you must like it somewhat."

"I can stop coming around."

"Don't."

"Why not?"

"Because maybe I like having you come around."

 **A/N: In response to , there is an animagus arc to the story, but that'll come soon. And it isn't finished yet, but it will be, just stay tuned!**


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

"Just imagine we had a map of Hogwarts, one that showed every room, every person, what they were doing, every minute of every day."

"Wouldn't that invade privacy?"

"Maybe. Or it would allow our midnight mission- possibly missions- to be much easier. Just think, if we could know where everyone was, it would be much easier to sneak out."

Lily eyed me skeptically. "Maybe so. But how would we get one?"

"We would probably have to make it," I suggested. "It would take a while, but as it came into being, it would be increasingly useful."

"Exponentially," Lily agreed. "Now then, what's this room you were talking about?"

I shook my head. "Haven't gotten a chance to talk to the ones who know where it is. It's very secretive, as are they." I tried not to roll my eyes. "I'm about to go meet with them, though. Find me at supper and I'll tell you what they said."

"Okay. That works. I have to go finish a paper for Professor Bronte."

"Go on, then."

Lily strode off and I made my way to the courtyard. I reached it before long to see all four "Marauders" sitting on a bench, Remus eating an apple and James writing. He turned to Sirius, asking something, and Remus answered. James jotted down whatever it was and was still writing as I walked up. Sirius looked up at me and grinned.

"How'd she respond?"

"Completely the opposite of how you four thought," I answered, crossing my arms. "She actually said it would be _exponentially_ useful."

James glanced behind me. "Where is she now?"

"She ran away into the sunset with Xenophilius Lovegood," I replied, and James rolled his eyes and went back to his writing.

"So, James, what do you think? Let her know about the room? If she finds out about the map, she might actually be impressed," Sirius said. James shrugged and looked over at me. For a long moment, he just stared.

"Fine, tell her. I don't care."

"And this means you get to spend more time with her," I pointed out to him, and he glanced at me, actual anticipation in his eyes now. "Alright," I said, "I'm out, then. Business finished."

"Wait!"

I turned at Sirius's voice. "Yes?"

"I, um," he stammered, and then cleared his throat, "Have a good day."

As I turned around to walk away, I saw James elbow him.

"One more thing," Sirius said, and I turned around again.

"What, Sirius?" I asked, exasperated. He cleared his throat.

"I, um- would you like to play a game of shuntbumps with us later?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Five, maybe?"

"Five," Sirius agreed, smiling bigger than I expected. I walked away, feeling my cheeks redden for no known reason. A spring lit my step and I felt jittery; it was weird and I didn't like it and I blamed that awful Sirius Black.

"So this is the Room of Requirement, then?" Lily said, more commenting than asking. She looked around, trailed her fingertips across a few desks, and glanced at me.

Severus strode forward and sat down in one of the chairs. "It's not much."

"It can be more," I explained. "It alters to what you want. Since this is the room we wanted, this is the room we got."

"A perfect hideaway," Lily commented, with a glance at Remus that spoke of more than I could read. I sat down in one of the chairs and crossed my legs, watching as Lily scoped out the room. Remus took a seat as well, and finally, Lily pulled one over. She looked at the other three of us expectantly. "Well."

"Well," I repeated, eyeing her.

"We have one more week until we're supposed to go into the Forbidden Forest. Any new information?"

"It's kind of hard to gain information when I don't know what I'm looking for information about," I reminded her. "I've… I've checked creatures that might live in a forest, but really, it could be almost anything. The roars you describe and the reaction from the other creatures could be interpreted as, this is something we shouldn't mess with, but it doesn't give me a type of creature."

Lily sighed. "You're right, of course, but I still need your help when we get there. Sev, did you get any new potions or anything?"

He looked up, seeming glad to have her spotlight on him. "I did. I've got loads of recipes ready, and Professor Slughorn is willing to loan me ingredients so I can get them practiced. I've made so many notes in my textbook already, and-"

"We'll find out Monday, Sev," Lily interrupted gently, smiling at him. He silenced, but smiled at her. She turned to Remus. "Any useful spells we should know? We have roughly an hour to practice."

Remus stood. "Okay, then, I have found a few."

We spent the next hour practicing a few defensive spells, some of which I already knew. Spending time with Remus and Lily and Severus was far more enlightening than any of the spells; I learned much more about the three than I had anticipated figuring out, maybe ever. Remus was quieter than the other Marauders, but he wasn't afraid to speak up. On top of that, he was an excellent teacher. He really had a talent for it. Lily, on the other hand, was sweet as could be and yet still caught on to defensive spells without a problem. Severus was the strangest revelation, though- he came out of his shell some. He even cracked a smile a couple of times, though it was mostly at something Lily had said. I noticed he highly disliked when she spoke to Remus, and he only seemed to be tolerating me. So much for arithmancy partners meaning something.

At the end of the hour, we dispersed. Remus and Lily walked off toward the Gryffindor common room, while Severus and I would be going the same way for at least part of the walk. I fell in step with him, looking at his dark eyes.

"You fancy her, don't you?"

I must have startled him, as he jumped so far he nearly dropped his books. "What?! That's preposterous- no- I- I don't."

"You do."

"She's just a friend," Severus snapped. "It's none of your business, anyway, and you would be best to keep your nose out of it."

I reached up to take his arm as I would with anyone else, but stopped myself for fear of his bitter withdrawal. Instead, I just said, "Hey, Sev, I won't tell anyone. I didn't mean to intrude, I just noticed you seem to really take to her."

"Then you should have also noticed it's not your business."

I held up my hands in surrender. "Okay, that's fine. I won't mention it. So, you mentioned Slughorn- are you in the Slug Club?"

"O-Of course," Severus replied, his tone easing. He glanced at me warily, as if uncertain what to expect. "Why?"

"He invited me to the next dinner party, I just wanted to know if I would know anyone there."

Severus sighed. "You'll know me and Lily."

"Would you mind if I sat next to you?"

He peered at me as if I had grown horns. "Why?"

I shrugged. "As I said, I might not know anyone in there."

"And if you do, then you'll get embarrassed and run to sit with them."

I crossed my arms. "I wouldn't. I will _vow_ to you, here and now, that I will be your seat buddy for the dinner party."

Severus shrugged. "If that's what you really want, then I suppose I won't protest. For now, I have to leave."

He started to turn, and I called, "Why are you going to the dungeon?"

"It's the way to Slytherin's common room."

My eyebrows rose. _That's not dark and creepy at all, oh, no._ "Okay then. Well, bye, Severus!"

He hesitated a moment, and then waved and called bye before vanishing down the steps. I returned to the Ravenclaw common room and sat down, starting on yet another History of Magic report. The homework this year was exhausting. Midway through, Yumi came and retrieved me to force me to go to dinner. I tried to protest that I had work to do, but she wouldn't let me.

I sat down at the table with the others and Cassi greeted me immediately with, "Where were you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. She rose her eyebrows.

"I thought you said you would be in the library. I went to find you to let you know Amos was looking for you, but I didn't see you."

I paused, gaping, and then said, "I was in there- oh, I went for a walk halfway through the hour."

"I got there at the beginning."

"I may have been scanning the shelves. Or perhaps I left earlier than I thought."

She eyed me warily, and then just nodded and turned back to her food. "I'll accept that this time, but next time, I'll expect an explanation."

I just nodded. "Alright, whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm starved."

I ate heartily, listening to their conversations. I debated with Yumi on whether she should be seeker or chaser, and Cassi pitched in here and there where she could. I heard Xeno finally ask Pandora to a date next time we went to Hogsmeade. This reminded me of the butterbeer I owed Sirius, which also brought back memories of those weird butterflies. Could it be he had already gotten under my skin? There was no way. I said no boys this year, and I meant it.

After eating, I went to the library, Pandora joining me. The two of us worked on the History of Magic report, until we had a decent outline and points. It was almost curfew, and well past time for us to have started heading back. I started walking with her, and then glimpsed something that drew my interest- James and Sirius, speaking and walking.

"I, um, I left my scarf in the library," I told Pandora. "I'll meet you back in the common room."

"Okay," she replied loftily, striding off. I turned back and then ducked into a corner behind a suit of armor, listening to James and Sirius.

"You have a huge flaming crush on her, Sirius- just tell her," James was saying.

"That would ruin everything. I don't want to date her; she's my friend."

"And if she wanted to date you?"

"That might change things. But as it is, she would never want to anyway, so we may as well forget it."

"Oh, I'm not forgetting it."

A female voice piped up then, "Sirius! James, can I speak to your friend alone for a moment?"

A moment of silence, in which I suppose Sirius would indicate whether or not he wanted that to happen. James agreed to and walked away.

"What is it, Vanica?"

"I wanted to know if you had plans at Hogsmeade," the girl said, her voice flirty and almost desperate. My interest grew, whether I'd admit it or not. I felt bad about eavesdropping, but at this point, I had to know what was going to happen here.

"I think I might." _You owe me a butterbeer, you daft beetle._ "Why?"

"Last year, you suggested us going together a few times. Want to make that a reality?"

"Vanica-"

He was cut off, and a moment later I heard the sound of lips pulling apart. The girl spoke again, "See you at Honeydukes, Black."

I heard footsteps walking away, and I stepped out, starting to walk toward the Ravenclaw common room. I couldn't explain the hollow feeling I had; I hadn't even been friends with Sirius long enough to warrant this level of disappointment. I suppose I may have let myself fancy him more than I had admitted, and now it was coming back to bite me.

So much for that friendship.

 **A/N: And so the drama begins.**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Quidditch practice was the single most calming event in my life the day after Sirius and Vanica's conversation (which had been followed up with an unappetizing display of their feelings for each other in the Great Hall the next morning). Charms was the single most awkward class I had taken now, as I refused to speak to him. He couldn't piece together why.

But all of that evaporated at the pitch.

As I walked back up the path, I pushed Amos to start inviting Cassi to more study dates. The two were perfect for each other, the more I got to know Amos; Amos was casual and laidback and grounded, to rival Cassi's airy emotions and fiery temper. Like air and earth, they were, and perfect. As I neared the castle, I spotted Sirius and his new girl- he had her pinned to the wall of the castle. It gave me sweet satisfaction to see McGonagall give them both detention.

"You don't like him, do you?" Amos asked, noticing my expression. I reddened at his watching me.

"Who?"

"Sirius. You're staring daggers at him."

"He's infuriating. One day he says one thing, the next day he does another. Flitwick assigned him as my Charms partner, on top of it."

"Pity. I know a good number of blokes who would be thrilled to be your Charms partner."

"And I'd likely take any of them over that one."

Just as I was badmouthing his best friend, James Potter raced up. "Hazel, I need your help- come quick."

I didn't have a choice in the matter, apparently, as James grabbed my arm and immediately began to pull me away. I reached for the Great Hall. "But- food…"

"You can eat later, we have some stored away."

I trotted forward so that I walked beside James, matching his long strides. "What's so urgent that you need me now?"

"You'll see."

"Helpful."

He led me down the corridors until we reached the Room of Requirement, and then he led the way in, where I saw what was so urgent. In the center of the room, constricted by magic that Remus delicately held, was a half-grown three-headed dog. And a half-grown three-headed dog was at least my height.

"What do you want me to do?" I yelped, nearly darting back out. James caught me and tugged me back in. "How did that thing even get in here?"

"We don't know," James said. "We think it was a prank, probably Sirius's idea. Either way, the thing is wounded."

"Don't call it a thing," I protested, walking forward. A wavy forcefield was all that held the dog, and its barking, at bay. "He's likely only so upset because he's wounded." I was already developing a plan. I noticed a box appear by one of the shelves.

"Remus, does that forcefield go both ways?"

"Yes," he answered. I nodded.

"Okay. On the count of three, drop it," I instructed, withdrawing my wand and pointing it.

"You're mad!" James exclaimed.

"Trust me," I said. "I know what I'm doing." _I hope._ I barely remembered the incantation, if I was honest. But it would have to work; I could already see Remus faltering.

"Go get Sirius!" Remus called to James.

"Why?"

Remus gave an implicatory look to James. "You know why."

"I don't know where he is."

"Last I saw, he was snogging Vanica Moore by the quidditch pitch," I said, managing not to sound angry due to the urgency of the situation.

"I'll go now," James said, ducking out of the room.

"Okay, Remus, ready?"

"Ready."

"One, two, three!" The forcefield vanished and I shouted, "Dormus Somnio!"

The dog slowed, laying down, but still continued to struggle. It lifted its head, growling. Remus looked over at me with surprise. "The sleep charm?"

"I've been working on it," I replied, keeping my eyes on the beast. "As you can see, I haven't perfected it."

"You still did better than I could have. Maybe if we both try, it'll work."

I shrugged. "Worth a try. On three?"

"One, two, now!"

We said it a millisecond apart, but the dog still fell asleep. I sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. Alright, let's see what's wrong with him."

"How do you know it's a him?"

I glanced at Remus, holding back a laugh. "The same way you would check with a normal dog."

"Ah."

I walked forward and began carefully examining the sleeping beast. He was a big guy, each paw bigger than my head, and he was still a puppy. I found the source of his discomfort- a large gash was in his back leg, an entire branch still lodged there. I called Remus over to me.

"Help me remove it. He might wake, I'm not sure."

Remus nodded and got in position next to the wood on the other side of the leg. Together, we lifted it; just as we did, the door opened to reveal James and Sirius rushing in.

"Holy bollocks," Sirius said upon entering. I ignored him, focusing on the task at hand.

"Remus, do you know that spell to heal this kind of wound? I can't remember it exactly."

He shook his head. "Just how much _do_ you know, Ravenclaw?"

"A lot. Okay, what was that spell… Ah, that's it. Vulnera Sanentur," I pronounced, and the blood retreated into the dog's leg. A contented sigh came from all three heads. "The leg itself would have to heal on its own, unless someone can help him. But he is still a rabid dog. We can't let teachers find out he's here."

"Think Wingardium Leviosa works on dogs?" Sirius asked, not bothering to keep any snark out of his voice. I sighed.

"Any serious suggestions _not_ from Sirius?"

"This game again, Drummond?"

"No, Black. Hush."

I caught the glance Remus and James exchanged and ignored it. Remus shrugged. "The only thing I can suggest is just picking him up and moving him."

"Okay," I agreed. "Let's do it."

"Hang on," James said. "Sirius, go find Peter, and I'll get Lily. We need more people. That's a big dog."

"Might as well grab Severus," I added.

"Like he would help us," James scoffed, heading out.

"He might, for Lily."

James rolled his eyes, strolling out. Remus and I retreated to the front half of the room, replacing the shields and holding them until the others would return. Remus cleared his throat. "So… I'm guessing Sirius did something to royally piss you off."

"Just Sirius being himself," I replied, not feeling the need to divulge my personal secrets to Remus Lupin. "Nothing personal. I'm just recalculating that friendship's wisdom."

"He is a wonderful friend," Remus said. "Loyal to a fault, and most of his antics are to make someone smile."

"He's making Vanica Moore smile quite brightly," I muttered, and Remus nodded, pursing his lips.

"So the truth comes out."

I shook my head. "It isn't that."

"Isn't it?"

"No," I said, meeting his eyes, "It isn't."

A few long moments passed and then the others returned. The question now was how to move it, and where to move it to. Lily knew of an empty classroom a corridor over; with significant effort from everyone, we managed to move it there. It started to wake up at one point, but Remus re-cast the sleep charm before I could even lift my wand. Smart guy, that Remus. We had to increase the size of the door-frame, but we got the dog in. I ran a hand through my hair, looking at the others.

"Okay. Professor Kettleburn has already said I'm one of his favorite students. If I go get him, he'll take care of this without letting it become something extreme. We'll say we found the dog in here. The problem is, he's a good way off from here- if I leave to go get him, are you lot capable of keeping the dog in here?"

"You say that like _you_ are," James muttered. Remus elbowed him.

"I'll keep it under a sleep charm. Lily and I will put up defensive barriers, and James and Sirius will guard the door. Peter can go with you."

I looked at the boy, and then back at Remus. "Why? I don't mean to sound rude, but he might slow me down."

"So that he has something to do," Remus said.

"It- it's fine," Peter said. "I'll stay here. Or- I can keep an eye out farther down the hall."

"I like that plan," I replied. "Peter, I really don't mean to offend you, it's just that I walk very fast and when I walk with others it slows me down."

"I get it," Peter said, offering a small smile. I nodded.

"Okay, get the barriers in place. I'll see you all in a few minutes."

I stepped out ahead of the others and started at a brisk walk down the way. Once I was out of sight, I transformed quickly, beginning to scurry along the halls in the corners and shadows. I raced past students leaving dinner early, and then out the door as a teacher opened it. I sprinted across the large field and then was soon to approach Kettleburn's hut. I ducked behind a boulder and shifted back, grimacing as my body adjusted to the change. After whispering a spell to get my clothing back, I stepped around the boulder and nearly ran smack into Kettleburn as he walked out.

"Professor!" I exclaimed.

"Miss Drummond! You should not be out this late-"

"Please, Professor, we need your help. Come quickly."

As we started walking back, I explained how I had been on my way to the Ravenclaw tower when I saw James and Sirius running to the seventh floor, and I followed to see what happened. Lily saw me and followed as well, and we found the two with Remus and Peter trying to hold back a half-grown three-headed dog. We didn't know how it got there, but had put it to sleep and now held it contained there, but it was injured and we needed someone to help us figure out what to do with it. Professor Kettleburn listened with astonishment clear on his face, and then gave a grave look.

"This is very serious indeed," he said as we reached the stairs, and I tried to hold in a laugh at _serious._ "A creature of that size could very well rip your face off without a second thought. It's sheer luck that your or the others haven't been injured. I will help you, however."

"Thank you, Professor. We didn't know what to do. Once we had a barrier to hold it in place and had it asleep, I ran straight to you."

"And it's a very good thing you did! Tell me, how did you get that far out without being seen?"

"I simply walked, sir. No one stopped me."

"Hm. We'll have to talk to the administrators to tighten security on the school."

I nodded; by now, we had reached the seventh floor. I led him to the room to hear struggle from inside. As my mind panicked, flashing images of my friends inside the room, I raced inside with my wand out to see the dog had woken. Remus was on the floor, his eyes closed, and the dog has Lily cornered. As the dog lunged, James leapt forward in front of the girl.

"Stupefy!" I shouted, and the dog stumbled back into the wall. It now whirled on me and Sirius stepped to my side. "Protego!"

The dog still snarled, and leaned back as if about to pounce. Professor Kettleburn stepped forward and pointed his wand at the dog, and then said, "Reducto!"

The dog shrank to the size of a common pit bull puppy, now actually quite cute. It flopped forward and tried to attack my ankles. I lifted it up and it growled and squirmed; as I tucked it toward my chest, I repeated the sleep charm.

"There," I said, passing it to Kettleburn.

"I shall take this back to my house and deal with it there."

"Are you alright?" James asked Lily, and I remembered something.

"Remus!" I yelped, running to his side where he lay on the ground. I glanced over at Sirius. "What happened to him?"

"I don't know," Sirius said. "James and I stepped in here at Lily's shout and he was already down."

"The dog smacked him and he fell over," Lily said. "He didn't get back up, but I couldn't do anything to help him."

Worriedly, I looked down at Remus. Claw marks bled from his face and I placed my wand to them, feeling my heart pound. "Vulnera Sanentur." The blood retreated to the wounds, but I didn't know the spell to close them. I glanced at Sirius again. "Come on, let's get him to Madam Pomfrey. She'll know what to do."

Sirius nodded and lifted up his friend. Professor Kettleburn uselessly stood by as James and Lily followed, and I looked around. "Where's Peter?"

"I don't know," James said.

I shrugged, following Sirius as he carried his friend. We made our way to Madam Pomfrey, who rushed over as we laid down Remus. She looked him over. "What happened?" Lily explained again, and Madam Pomfrey stared at him. "Why is there no blood?"

"That's my doing," I said. "A friend of mine taught me the spell to stop bleeding."

"Smart girl." I didn't know if she meant me or my friend. Madam Pomfrey cast a spell and the wounds closed, and then she touched her wand to his forehead. She sighed. "There's no way to tell how long he'll be asleep, but I'm sure he won't want to be crowded when he does. Have any of you eaten?"

We all shook our heads.

"Very well, go eat, and then if you choose you may come back. _Only_ three at a time."

 _The rest of the Marauders, then._ At Madam Pomfrey's continued rushing, we left her to the infirmary and started for the Great Hall. Lily sighed once we were out, tucking a strand of her long copper hair behind her ear. "This is all my fault. I didn't try hard enough casting the barrier."

"It's not you, Lil," James reassured her, rubbing her back.

"It is, James. The dog was facing me, I cast a confundus charm, and it turned on Remus. I didn't do anything, I just stood there."

"Hey," I stepped forward to her other side. "It isn't your fault. You didn't put the dog in the castle in the first place. You panicked; it happens. Remus is going to be okay."

"How do you know?" Lily wilted. "He may never wake up."

"He had better wake up," Sirius said. "I'll find a way to trek into his dreams and force him to wake up."

Lily managed an amused smile, and Sirius smiled back at her.

"None of us blame you," James assured her. "It's not your fault. Remus wouldn't want you to be upset, not after he took that hit for you to be safe."

"Which reminds me," Lily added, "You owe someone a thank you."

James peered at her. "Who?"

"Hazel," she answered. "If not for her, that dog would have gotten you."

James looked over at me. "Thank you."

I chuckled. "You're welcome. I couldn't very well let that thing attack you."

"Surprising."

"Quidditch wouldn't be a challenge without you, Potter."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

The bludger zoomed toward me and I met it with a strong kick, sending it back toward Slytherin's goal posts. A beater met it and sent it back; I zoomed forward, knocking it straight into one of the hoops. Their keeper sent me a glare and I smirked, and then ducked as a quaffle shot toward my head. Our keeper bounced it back and I caught a bludger with a spiking hand, sending another into the goal post. I was vaguely aware of the announcer following my moves over the soaring wind, and then suddenly the game ended. _Who caught it?!_

"Ravenclaw first-time seeker Yumi Chang has caught the snitch! Ravenclaw wins!"

I let out a _whoop_ of excitement and tilted my broom toward the ground, speeding downward to where the rest of the team was going to meet Yumi. We embraced her and held her up. "Congratulations!" I called out, barely heard over the team as they chanted _Raven-claw! Raven-claw!_

We carried our new seeker, who had stepped in after a nasty curse backfired on our usual one and landed her in the infirmary, to the common room and cheered and celebrated. A real party was starting up; even Cassi was letting loose and enjoying herself a little. Pandora did a charm that filled the room with sparkling lights, like stars suspended in the party, and someone else got some music started. I smiled and enjoyed it, accepting congratulations from other Ravenclaws.

After twenty minutes of the party, I stepped out into the hallway and ducked into a broom closet, leaving the door slightly open. I transformed in there and then stepped out after glancing around. I took off at a run down the halls, making my way up to floors to the seventh floor. From there, I stepped into an alcove and shifted back. "Accio uniform," I whispered, and my clothes whirled around the corner a moment later. I dressed quickly and then stepped back around to see Sirius starting forward from the other direction.

"Good play today, Drummond," he greeted me, somewhat quiet. I nodded and paced the hallway, and then stepped into the Room of Requirement. None of the others had come yet, leaving just me and Sirius. Being alone in a room with him was strange, and it only got worse when he asked, "Why don't you talk to me anymore? You haven't spoken to me in Charms without having to for a solid week. You missed one of the Marauders meetings, and waited until you happened to see Remus to tell him why, rather than just telling me the next morning when you saw me first. What's the deal?"

I glanced at him, but then looked back to where I had been levitating a book with my wand. "We were never really close friends, Sirius. Why does it matter?"

"We were getting along quite well, I thought."

"We were. We were getting along _too_ well."

He gave me a look. "Not house rivalries again."

"No," I said. "It isn't that, I swear. It's just that… Well, there were some mixed signals. I thought one thing and then saw another. My own assumptions caused me to become confused and bitter and then, I just, I never do that. Not with anyone, until you. So I thought it might be best to back off for a little while."

Sirius gave me a long look. "What you're saying is," he cracked a smile, "You had a thing for me, Hazel Drummond."

"I did not!" I exclaimed, the book dropping.

"You did, and then when I started dating Vanica, it bothered you. Well, you'll be pleased to know I broke it off just after the game. She was using me, actually- trying to make someone else jealous. I thought something like that was happening, as she never gave me a second look."

I couldn't say anything back to that, not through the wealth of emotions I was feeling in that moment. On the one hand, I was relieved they had broken up. On the other hand, I was mad at myself for that relief. On top of that, I was mad at Vanica for treating him like that- and then confused on why I was so angry. And then I was in serious denial about how I felt about Sirius. This was all too much, too quick.

"Hazel?"

I looked up, trying to mask my emotions and failing horribly.

"I can't pretend like that was just mixed signals. I _was_ flirting with you. I'm sorry."

I wanted to say, no, don't apologize, just keep doing it, but I stopped myself. "I- it's okay, Sirius. Just, next time you decide to flirt with me, maybe don't start snogging someone else at breakfast."

"Is that permission to snog you?"

"No, it isn't."

I was saved from further awkwardness by Remus and James and Peter walking in. I grinned at Sirius, who shrugged, giving me a cocky smile in return. And then I was pulled away from that by seeing Remus.

"Remus! You're up!"

"I am," he said. "If Madam Pomfrey hadn't forced me to stay in there two extra days, I would have been up sooner."

I chuckled. "She just wanted to be sure you were safe."

"So did Hazel," James said, with a coy expression as he glanced at Remus. "She rushed over to you and stopped the bleeding, walked with you all the way to the infirmary."

"And then didn't even come visit you," Sirius added. "And she says _I_ give out mixed signals."

I gaped at the both of them. "Madam Pomfrey said only three visitors- I thought Remus would want it to be his three closest friends more than just a random Ravenclaw girl who had only just started talking to him more a couple weeks ago."

"A lot can happen in a couple weeks," James said.

"She was fawning over you the whole time you were out," Sirius added.

Remus smirked at them both. "As much as I _might_ believe that, I don't. Were Hazel to be fawning over me, she would have likely come to visit."

"Exactly," I said.

"She just said she wanted to a minute ago," Sirius pointed out. I levitated the book again and tossed it at him.

"Shut it," I said, laughing, "Before you get Remus all confused. He's just hit his head, he might be deceived into believing this beautiful, witty, intelligent Ravenclaw girl is madly in love with him, and then everything will get awkward."

"Beautiful, witty, intelligent? You have a high opinion of yourself," James noted.

"And you don't?" I retorted, grinning. "Anyway, are we making a map or bantering?"

"Cartography or entertainment, hmm," James said, as if it were a hard decision. He looked up as if the bulb had just lit up in his head. "Entertaining cartography! Let's map out the Ravenclaw common room."

We did so, and then James looked up at me after casting the enchantment that showed who was where within. "Your house is having a party, and you're here with us? After you were responsible for most of Ravenclaw's points?"

I shrugged. "I said I would help with this map, and I meant it."

"You have friends there who want to see you," James pointed out. "You could come by and help out any time."

"Maybe, but they're not going to really miss me if I'm gone for a while. Besides, there will be plenty more wins for us to celebrate. And this map is far more entertaining."

Remus met my eyes. "Who are you trying to convince- James, or yourself?"

I sighed and sat down in a chair by the table as Sirius started on the stairs to the dungeon. "I get bored in my house. I want adventure, I want to _do_ things- you don't understand how little of that happens in Ravenclaw. Cassi swore I was the most troublesome Ravenclaw she had ever met, always sneaking off, coming back in the middle of the night to wake her up and tell her about whatever had just happened. To be honest, spending time with you four is far more entertaining than listening to Xenophilius Lovegood discuss the logistics of how we won a quidditch game, or hearing Cassi argue that quidditch is boring."

"You don't really fit in with your house, do you?" Sirius asked.

"No," I answered honestly. "I'm in Ravenclaw because I'm smart, and I catch on to new subjects quickly. But honestly, my personality is more adventurous than anything. I want to go find new treasures, tame dragons, or something else unique. I don't want to sit at a desk and study. The only reason I do that so much now is because I want to get ahead and increase my chances of finding adventure later on, and surviving it."

"Well," Remus said, "We'll take you. We go on all sorts of adventures, and now that this lot has me they don't get in as much trouble for it. And you've already proven yourself useful, so we might as well."

"Remus," James said quietly, " _We_ are the Marauders."

"And we can be the Marauders plus Hazel," Sirius pointed out. "She won't come with us on every adventure, but we could always use extra help. Remember the run-in with the enchanted chess game? She could have helped out there."

"Good point." James looked over at me. "By the way, you said you snuck out often- how so?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my cheeks redden. He leaned forward in his chair, setting his hands on the table and clasping his fingers.

"Hazel, if there's a secret way you're getting out of the school without being caught, we need to know. We can add it to the map."

"I- it isn't like that," I said. "It's not a secret passage or anything."

"Are you apparating?" Sirius asked, sounding impressed. I shook my head.

"I have my secrets, just as you have yours. I know there's something all four of you are keeping secret about Remus. I won't pry as long as you let this go."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Even if we don't, you still shouldn't pry about that. It isn't your secret to expose."

"Nor is mine yours," I said, and then forced myself to calm down. "Anyway, let's get to work."

"One more day," Lily said as I scrawled a conclusion.

"Is everyone ready?" Remus asked. Severus and Lily agreed, and I mumbled a reply as I added onto my essay that hippogriffs were carnivorous. I began a detailed outline of what hippogriffs ate and why, accidentally tuning out the others until Lily patted the table next to me. I jumped, sitting upright.

"What?" I asked quickly.

"We were asking if you had anything to add."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about? I didn't get a chance to work on this essay at all yesterday, and if I want to maintain Kettleburn's good favor I have to finish it."

"We just finished discussing what potions Sev had planned for us," Lily explained. "And Remus told us what spells to practice if we could."

I nodded. "Okay. Um…" I searched the ceiling for something to say, and then looked at them. "Think we should bring brooms? A quick escape might be more plausible with them."

"Fair point," Remus said. "Do we all have brooms?"

"Sev and I don't," Lily replied.

"I can get one," Severus said quickly.

"Nonsense," I waved off his comment. "We can double up. Severus can ride with Remus and Lily can ride with me."

"That'll slow us down some," Remus commented, and I shrugged.

"Better than raising suspicion trying to get extra brooms," I replied.

"Okay, then brooms it is. Anything else?"

They shook their heads. I paid attention as Lily began outlining the route to the creature, and then the group dispersed. I stayed at the table in the library until I had finished my essay; by then it was nearly time for dinner. I gathered my belongings and returned to the common room, and then to the dorm, where I found Pandora napping with her Persian cat, Boxy. Boxy lifted his head and meowed at me, circled, and then laid down with his head on Pandora's neck. I rolled my eyes at the cat and set down my belongings on the bed, and then stepped out quietly. In the common room, I found Yumi and Cassi sitting by the fireplace. I collapsed into an arm chair.

"Finally finished that Care of Magical Creatures essay," I announced. "Been in the library working on it since this morning."

"Good job," Yumi said, but Cassi didn't even acknowledge me. I glanced at the two.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Yumi said, too quickly. "Cassi's just tired. Right, Cassi?"

I sat up. "Since when do you two keep secrets from me?"

"Since you started spending so much time with Gryffindors," Cassi snapped. I leaned back, shocked.

"Why is that so terrible?"

"It's disloyal. It might be okay if you would at least tell us where you were going, but I suppose you're telling them everything."

I leaned forward again. "Cassi, quiet down some."

"Why? Afraid the rest of our house will shun you? They should."

I gaped at her. "I'm not being disloyal! And I'm not telling them everything, I just had a few chance encounters."

"Like the three-headed dog? That was a _thrilling_ story to hear about my best friend, secondhand."

"You never asked about it. I tried to tell you, but you were busy studying, so I did the same and then forgot about it."

"You _did not_ forget about a three-headed dog attack."

"No, but it slipped my mind to tell you about it."

"And where were you last night? Off pining over Sirius Black, I expect, now that he's broken another girl's heart."

"She was using him!" I exclaimed, and then bit my tongue. I had just exposed myself.

"See? You know more about them than you know about me. I went to find you earlier, to tell you about something exciting- and you know where I see you? At a table in the library with two Gryffindors and a Slytherin. Since when do you hang out with Severus Snape?"

"I don't! It was just a studying thing. He's in my arithmancy class."

"And you were working on an essay for Care of Magical Creatures. I know Lily Evans isn't in either of those classes with you."

"How would you know? You aren't in them either."

"Would you stop?" Cassi asked, standing. "I'm so tired of you always having this- this new attitude. It's like since you got back this year you've been an entirely different person."

"Well, you could just _ask_ me about it before attacking me."

"I would ask, but you're gone all the time! Come on, Yumi, let's go eat."

Yumi mouthed _sorry_ to me and then followed her friend away. I sighed, sitting back. Another fight. I wasn't the only one acting differently this year.

Putting that aside, I stood and left the common room. As I started down the hall, I reflected on how much lonelier I felt this year. I spoke to more people, but felt more alone. My best friend didn't like me; I didn't talk to Pandora as much, because she was always with or thinking about Xeno; and Yumi was the only one of the original three friends I had to still talk, but that was mostly due to quidditch. And the people actually acting like my friends were people I barely knew.

Was it worth it to risk a friendship for these projects?

I sat on the roof, tossing an apple in my hand, and then took a bite. The moon hung nearly half-full, rising over the trees, and I wondered briefly if tonight would be the last night to really enjoy it. What would happen tomorrow? What if whatever creature that was attacked us? What if one of us died.

I sighed. I could ask what-if's all night, or I could stop worrying and enjoy the night. It was peaceful here; the top of the astronomy tower was the only place I could really go to be alone without interruption.

I sat up there a while longer, just thinking and reflecting and admiring the stars. Eventually, I got back on my broom and flew into the tower. I put the broom into a closet where I usually kept it for nights like tonight and then made my way down the stairs. I would have to resolve this issue with Cassi before I left tomorrow. I still didn't understand- I told her what I was doing, and she still freaked out on me. Maybe I could just leave a letter in case I don't come back, somewhere she would find it.

For now, I needed sleep- tomorrow I would be heading into the Forbidden Forest, to discover it as Forbidden for a reason.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

We grouped up in the Room of Requirement around sunset. I had already left a note inside my spare robes at the end of the bed explaining I didn't hate Cassi, just in case we didn't come back. Sirius, James, and Peter waited with our group, and James confessed to the map existing. Lily, shocked, first yelled at him and then finally admitted it was a grand idea. A little while later, Severus joined us, and the map was hidden again. Lily had been sworn to secrecy; she couldn't talk about the map to anyone who didn't already know about it.

Soon, night had fallen and the clock rang eleven notes into the quiet stars. It was time to go.

"Stay safe," James said, looking primarily at Lily, and then at Remus. "I'm requiring both of you to come back. Hazel, keep an eye on Lily for me."

"Will do."

"And be careful, please," Sirius added. He smiled at me. "Wouldn't want to lose my Charms partner."

But his eyes betrayed his actual concern. I smiled at him. "I'll do my best to come back to you, Sirius."

At that, we headed out. James had shown us a secret passage on the first floor that would take us to the edge of the forest. We found the portrait he had indicated and opened it; I followed the others, stepping in just before Remus did, and we started down in silence. The dark tunnel, lit only by our wands, descended for some time, and then we reached several puddles and areas where water dripped from the ceiling. Then the tunnel began to rise again, steadily steeper, until it reached a door. Remus stepped ahead and pushed it open, offering a hand. The door was at least a foot above the floor of the tunnel. Lily took his hand and stepped out, as did I. Severus ignored the Gryffindor boy, who shrugged and then closed the door. From the outside, it looked to be a section of grass with the head of a bottle poking out of it- the knob.

"Not far now," Remus whispered, leading the way. Lily stepped up as we reached the forest and began leading us through the moonlight-gray tree trunks. I kept my eyes on the forest around us, realizing that in the darkness I was more on edge than normal. My eyes remained wide, as if this would somehow allow me to see more, and I glanced in every direction at least ten times a minute.

"Calm down," Severus whispered, and I nodded.

"This is actually a very good time to be on your guard," Remus countered. "If she would like to look in every direction at once, then she might as well."

I nodded, but my wariness still didn't help us until we were almost upon it.

"Remus!" I hissed, as quiet as possible. The group stopped, looking back at me. They followed my gaze to our right- to the mountain troll not twenty yards away, scratching its leg. Remus grabbed me to him and ducked against a tree; Severus did the same with Lily. Where Remus and I were, we could still see the troll. Remus clutched me tighter than I expected, his arms wrapped around me and his wand in the hand closest to the troll. He didn't meet my eyes.

The troll bellowed and punched a tree, making it fall over loudly, and in response several creatures raced away from it, scattering back toward the edge of the forest. The troll lumbered off after them; we could hear its retreating footsteps. Once it was far enough away, Remus sighed with relief and released me. I rubbed my arm from where he had been squeezing it.

"Was that necessary?" I asked, my voice low.

Remus smiled, embarrassed. "I just- it was my instinct. Maybe because I knew Snape and Lily would watch out for each other, it made more sense to me to grab you."

"I get it. It's kind of endearing; I never pictured you as the hero-type."

He grinned. "I might be, except you don't need a hero."

"Exactly, which is why I'm okay with calling you that."

"Are you two going to gossip all night or can we keep going?" Severus snapped.

"Calm down," Lily told him, and then smiled at us. I could see her nerves still in her face. "That was… Nerve-wracking, to say the least. Shall we?"

"Let's go," I answered. "I'm not over-eager to spend any extra time in here."

We started off again, and now I had a growing fear that behind every trunk some beast lurked, ready to attack. I kept my wand in my hand, ready to attack as soon as necessary. Lily turned to us after nearly twenty minutes of walking; the trees were thinner ahead, and I could see a steep slope after a dip thirty meters off.

"We're almost there," she said. "In that dip."

I took a deep breath, nodding, and Remus said, "Should we send only one person first to go see?"

"That would be best," I said. "I'll go first. Trust me- I can be quiet, and if it's a creature, I'll be best to react to it."

The others nodded, though Lily grabbed my arm. "Are you sure, Hazel?"

"I'm sure."

I stepped forward through the trees, placing my foot nearly sideways and walking in a heel-toe step so that every step was quiet and balanced. It took a bit longer to reach the dip than if I had walked normally, but I would rather reach it without the creature expecting me.

I peeked over the rise. A large crater had left a gaping dip in the ground, curving inward. Snarling brambles lined the slope thickly, some trampled. In the middle of the crater was a nest of sorts, a large bed of pelts and hides and moss and such.

In the center of the nest was a very large pearl-colored egg.

Across the clearing, on the opposite side of the dip, was a dragon.

I recognized the species- Ukranian Ironbelly. She was a huge white beast, spikes rippling along her spine; but what was she doing this far north? I realized something then- the way she was laying, the stillness… She was dead. Her egg lie abandoned. Her wings had faded of color, her wide flank lie without the motion of breathing, her eyes were open but unseeing. A stab of pity and grief struck me unexpectedly.

Before I could let it blossom, though, a distinct crack brought my eyes back to the next- the egg was hatching.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

I hurried over the rise, crashing through the brambles, and reached the edge of the nest. I watched as the cracks spread through the egg as soft knocking sounds emitted from within the egg, and then one of the bits of shell was knocked out to the ground. More followed, chips flying off. I racked my brain for anything on dragons, and remembered too late.

The small white dragon crawled out of the remains of its egg and looked up at me.

 _Dragons, like many creatures, imprint on the first living being they see upon hatching._

The dragon growled softly, and I couldn't help but smile. "Hey, little guy," I said, petting the dragon. It turned around and began to follow its instincts, eating the egg shell. Seeing a good moment to get the others, I stood and backed up a couple steps. The dragon whirled around; it was the size of a small dog. It growled and followed.

"No, sweetheart, stay here," I protested, and the dragon looked up at me with hurt in its eyes. I sighed. "Okay, I'll stay here with you a moment."

The dragon contentedly went back to eating its egg as I crouched down. After a moment, a twig cracking alerted me to Remus's presence lurking at the edge of the dip. He looked down and I met his eyes. As he spotted the dragon, he gasped and backed up.

"It's okay," I called to him quietly. "It's friendly so far."

But as if to completely counteract my words, the dragon leapt around and saw Remus, and roared in its broken, raspy voice, starting up the slope. As it met the brambles, it let out loud cries; I caught it quickly and pulled it back to me.

"Hush, hush," I whispered. "He's a friend."

The dragon still cried as I plucked out the brambles.

"He's imprinted on me," I explained to Remus, who nodded with wide eyes.

"What are we going to do?"

"We can't keep him," I said, "But he won't let me leave without him."

Remus gestured to the others and then started down the slope. The dragon's spikes rose as Remus neared and he arched his back, growling at Remus. I petted down the dragon's side.

"Hush now, that's a friend."

Remus stepped forward slowly, kneeling down.

"Offer a hand palm-down, fingers curled in," I advised. "Let him smell you and then try to pet him, but be very careful."

Remus nodded and did as I said; the dragon still didn't like him. We were lucky it was a little thing. Remus sighed. "How will we feed him? Where will we keep him?"

"I'm thinking we can tie him up out here," I said. "If we ask the Room of Requirement for food, do you think that will work?"

Remus shrugged. "It's worth a try. We'd have to come out here every night, though."

I sighed. "We wouldn't be able to keep that up for long without getting caught."

"Maybe while he's little we can keep him in the castle, in the room, I mean. We'll figure it out from there."

I nodded. "Best plan so far."

Lily and Severus stayed at the top of the dip as Remus and I gathered up the dragon, wrapping him in my robes to carry him. I glanced back at the mother; poor dragon- she was only trying to save her young. That the egg had gone this long without being stolen and eaten was a miracle. She must have died recently.

We started out of the forest, and were almost to the edge when it showed up.

The mountain troll returned, and this time, we couldn't hide from it on time. It began barreling through the woods toward us, and we began to run out. The broomstick plan wouldn't work now; I had intended to accio the brooms to us originally, so at least we didn't have them here. I caught Remus as we neared the edge.

"Remus! We can't go running out of the forest with a loud troll and a baby dragon!"

Remus paused, realizing I was right. He whirled around to the other side of me, facing the troll. "Wands at the ready, all of you!"

Severus and Lily came to flank him, keeping me and the baby behind them. But the troll simply swiped them all to the side in one hit, realizing through its thick skull that if I were being protected, I must be something worth protecting. I tossed the dragon to Lily, who caught it just as the troll watched.

"Down here!" I shouted, distracting it from her. "Face me!"

The troll turned to me and roared, grabbing me around the midsection. I shrieked as its grip tightened around my stomach and ribs. I pointed my wand at it, thinking of what Kettleburn had done.

" _Redu-"_ but before I could get the word out, I was thrown to the ground. My head struck a tree and I was out.

"Think she'll be alright?"

"She's waking up! Remus, get the water! James- bandages, quickly!"

My eyes opened to a blurry image of Sirius and Lily kneeling next to a couch that I was, apparently, laying on.

"Give her this." That was… Severus, I realized, through the mud of my mind. The dark Slytherin boy approached the couch and handed something to Sirius. "It'll help her regain strength."

Sirius took it quickly and opened my mouth, setting something foul-tasting on my tongue. I made it to spit it back out, and he clamped a hand over my mouth. "Eat it."

I forced it down, grimacing against the taste. "There, I ate it. Happy?"

Sirius grinned. "Yep, she's okay."

James Potter showed up over Sirius's shoulder as Severus retreated, and I sat up.

"Lay back down," Lily said, but I shook my head.

"I feel fine, I promise. Just, dizzy. Tired. My head is throbbing and- oh, God, my stomach is bruised. But nothing is broken."

"You might have had a concussion," Sirius said. "Often when your head flies into a tree, it causes some damage."

Come to think of it, hitting a tree didn't sound familiar. "What happened?"

"Do you not remember the troll?" Lily asked as James began wrapping a bandage around my arm. I looked down- they had pulled back my sleep where something had cut a deep gash into the back of my forearm.

"I- no. There was a troll?"

"We went into the woods," she said. "To find the creature- do you not remember?"

"The troll," I said, my eyes going wide. "Remus grabbed me, kept me safe."

"That was before," Lily continued. "Then we went to the clearing, and you found..?"

"I found…" I thought about it. "I found something. Big, and white. Snowy."

"Yes, very big."

I thought about it. What was big and white? Oh. "A dragon?"

"Yes, you found a dragon."

"And it attacked me?"

"No. The dragon was dead."

I felt my eyebrows crease. "Then how did… Oh! That's right, it had an egg. Wait, where's the baby dragon?"

That much I remembered now, the imprint and the start of the walk back.

"We had to sedate him," Remus explained. "Severus cooked up a potion to put him to sleep. He kept fretting about you, wouldn't let anyone go near."

"But if it wasn't the dragon, and the troll was already gone, then what happened?"

"The troll came back," Remus said. "It was faster than we thought. It swept me, Lily, and Severus out of the way, and then grabbed you."

"I remember now," I said, images flashing through my mind to match his description. "It lifted me up- I was about to cast a spell and then it threw me. What happened after I was knocked out?"

Severus handed me a bottle of some elixir, muttering that it would help me feel better and heal faster, as Remus explained, "You went down like a fly. Lily escaped with the baby dragon, who was squealing like a pig. Severus had heard what you were casting and reduced the size of the troll, and I petrified it, and then we put the brute to sleep. We carried you back here." He smirked. "Sirius was worried sick about you.'

"I was not," Sirius muttered.

"He didn't leave your side from the moment we got back," Lily added. "Got bloody annoying, actually- we couldn't get near enough to check on you."

I grinned at Sirius, who looked away, saying quietly, "It wasn't like that."

I turned back to the others. "So where is the dragon now? And what are we going to do with him?"

"He's chained up in the corner," Remus said. "We soundproofed the room. We'll keep him here for the time being. I don't know where he could go."

"He's a Ukrainian Ironbelly," I said. "Maybe he could go back to Ukraine."

"And how would we get him there?" Lily asked, glancing at the sleeping beast in the corner. I looked at him and shrugged.

"We would have to fly, or find someone who can apparate. Anyone friends with any seventh-years?"

"Aren't you friends with Xeno?" Remus asked. "You two sit together quite often."

I shrugged, noticing the jealousy in Sirius's eye at that and trying not to smirk. "He's alright, sure, but he wouldn't be very helpful for that."

"He might be our only choice," James noted. "Get this little guy up to strength, and then we'll apparate him to Ukraine."

"It's a plan, then. For now, can someone walk me back to the Ravenclaw tower? I don't feel like it's a distance I'll be very good at traversing alone."

"I'll do it," Sirius said immediately.

"Are you sure you should go back tonight?" Remus asked, and I nodded.

"I need to rest, and Cassi will ask too many questions if I don't return."

"Well, goodnight, Hazel," Remus said, giving me a smile.

"Get some rest, Ravenclaw- wouldn't have you at low health during the Gryffindor game."

"Thanks, James. Your concern is baffling."

As I reached the door with Sirius, Lily laughed and added, "From James, that's the most concern you can expect. Oh, and by the way, thanks for coming with us."

"You're welcome, Lily."

I stepped into the hall. Once Sirius had closed the door, I braced myself against the wall for a moment, holding my side and exhaling slowly. I rested my head on the cold wall as Sirius timidly put a hand on my arm.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded, jaw tight against the pain that had stabbed through my abdomen upon standing. I pulled my wand out of my sleeve and pointed it at my rib. "Episkey."

"Was it broken?" Sirius asked, looking surprised. I nodded and fixed another on that side, and then one on the left. He gaped at me. "You had three broken ribs and didn't say anything?"

"I didn't want to worry anyone." I lifted my shirt, somewhat self-conscious under Sirius's eyes, and my exposed midsection, normally a sandy tan, was dark purple and green with bruises. "Ah, that's why that hurts how it does."

"You need to get to Madam Pomfrey," Sirius said earnestly. I chuckled, and then grimaced at the pain flared in my abdomen.

"And expose the whole mission? We would have done all that for nothing. It's only a few bruises, Sirius- I've been a beater for four years, I can take a hit. It's really nothing to worry about."

Sirius sighed. "If you say so, but I'm still doing this."

Before I could protest, he had swept me into his arms, lifting me from the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Are you serious?"

"I am," he replied, grinning as he started toward the stairs. "Very nice use of that homonym."

I rolled my eyes, looking over as we started down the steps. A couple of times, we had to duck low due to a teacher, which put me very close to Sirius's face. It gave me a new look at him.

His hairline was actually marked with a widow's peak. His hair, I saw now, was truly a dark ebony color, marked by natural waves not quite tamed. He had specks of facial hair coming in along his jaw, and a scar marked a small indention along his cheekbone. His eyebrows, perfect from a distance, were actually thinner than they first appeared- almost feminine- and had a few stray hairs. He did have a very fine jawline, though- broad cheeks bottomed by sharp angles, and a chin that was perfectly rounded but not jutting out or too large. His eyes, too, were enchanting: slanted inward just slightly, framed by long dark lashes, but the color was the best part. They were gray, outlined by a dark charcoal and then filled with soft silver, and veined with white.

But during that journey to the Ravenclaw tower, the feature that most held my fascination was his lips. They were perfectly defined, rounded, thick bottom lip and on the top two perfect Cupid's bows from either side. They were a little wide, but with his jaw, it made sense. And oh, they would be so lovely to kiss.

I shook the thought away at a flutter in my chest. We reached the door to the common room and Sirius set me down gently, and then looked at me for a moment and pulled me into a hug. Afterward, he leaned back with a gasp. "Hazel, we forgot your robe!"

I smiled and shrugged. "It's fine, I suppose. I'll just come get it tomorrow. I have plenty extra."

He smiled back. "And you're sure you don't want to just, I don't know, head back to get it?"

"I think you just want to spend extra time with me."

He stepped closer. "Would that be so bad?"

I shook my head, heart pounding again. My eyes were drawn to his lips once more and I forced myself not to look at them. "I suppose not." I cleared my throat and stepped back. "But you have me at Hogsmeade this weekend, remember?"

"That's right, I did have plans for Hogsmeade."

"Yeah."

He glanced at me sharply, and then smirked. "Were you eavesdropping on that conversation?"

I looked away, reddening. "No- I- what conversation?"

He grinned and stepped forward again; in stepping back, I ended up with my back to the wall by the door. Sirius stepped forward, planting a hand on either side of me against the wall. I kept a brave face, trying not to let the fluttering in my stomach and chest show. He met my eyes, mouth curved in a coy smile. "You definitely did listen to that conversation with Vanica that night. I thought I saw you when I came around the corner, but I wasn't sure." He leaned closer. "Is that why you were so mad? Because I forgot?"

"That's part of it," I breathed, barely able to keep from looking at his lips. "Sirius, what are you-"

The door flew open and Cassi stepped out. Sirius jumped away and I straightened up. She glared at him, and then at me. "I'm not even going to ask where you've been all night, Hazel. As for you," she looked at Sirius, "I don't know what you were just doing, but you really need to keep away from my best friend."

Sirius crossed his arms. "Or what?"

"Or I'll make her stay away from you."

He scoffed. "You can't tell her what to do. She's her own person. If she wants to spend time with me, she can."

Cassi continued to glare at him. I sighed. "Cass, he's alright. I can make my own decisions. You haven't even spoken to me since yesterday anyhow, and that was to yell at me."

"And this is why," she said.

"Sirius?"

"Yes."

I sighed. "Look, Cassi, we'll talk about it, but don't talk to him like that, okay?"

She stared at me, open-mouthed, and then glared again. "Now you're defending him, against me. Who are you?"

"Students out of bed!"

I whipped my head around, looking down. "Oh, God, it's Filch! Sirius, get out of here."

Sirius took off at a run and I ducked into the common room just as Filch came down the hall, closing the door behind me. Cassi and I raced up to our dorm and I changed quickly and laid down. That was when Cassi noticed.

"Hazel! What happened to your arm?" She whispered, trying not to wake Yumi or Pandora. I glanced at the bandage and shrugged.

"None of your business."

"Yes, it is."

I glared at her. "How are you going to simultaneously despise everything that I do and yell at me all the time and still expect me to roll over and do as you say? If I want to spend time with Sirius, I will, and you really don't get a say in that anymore. If you want to know what's going on with my arm, if you want to know my secrets, then you have to act like someone I trust."

"We're best friends, Hazel!"

"Not five minutes ago, you said you don't know me. So I guess we're not."

She stared at me from her bunk and I crawled into mine, laying down. I could feel every bruise no matter how I lay.

"Fine," Cassi whispered.

"Fine."


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

 _Dear Hazel,_

 _I'm sorry for being dumb. I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I'm sorry for not talking to you, and then blaming you for it. The truth is that sixth year isn't going how I wanted it to. I was hoping we would spend a lot of time together, and maybe you would take me with you on your adventures. You always went alone. It just hurt to think you trusted Gryffindors more than your own best friend. It isn't necessarily that they're Gryffindors- it's that they aren't even in the same house._

 _If you had picked Yumi over me for that, I would understand. But it was someone you barely knew, which is what hurt. I was being stupid and jealous, and I'm sorry for that. You are still my best friend, though, and I'm going to try to not be so stupid and jealous. I mean, really, I'm a Ravenclaw- where's that famous wisdom and wit? Sometimes I swear I'm in the wrong house._

 _Anyway, I remember you saying Sirius owed you a butterbeer during the first trip to Hogsmeade. If you want to date him, that's fine, just don't let it get in the way during quidditch- you're still going to have to go professional. But, I have a confession. What I meant to tell you Sunday was that Amos Diggory asked if we could go to Hogsmeade together, kind of as a date. But I told him you and I always go together the first trip, and he wants to tag along. I was thinking we could make it kind of a double date. That isn't the only reason I'm writing this, I just thought… If my problem is that we aren't spending enough time together, then spending time together might help, and this is the perfect opportunity._

 _Back to the point: I'm truly sorry for being a terrible best friend. Forgive me?_

 _Cassi_

Beneath the letter was a box of Berty Bott's, my favorite. I sighed. I couldn't stay mad at her. I sat on my bed and opened the box, starting on my homework for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I would have to do my arithmancy homework after quidditch practice, which started in an hour.

After finishing my homework early, I started on the arithmancy homework. I had a busy evening: arithmancy homework start, quidditch, dinner, and then meeting in the Room of Requirement to work on the map and finish my homework. I was halfway through my arithmancy homework when I realized I had five minutes to get to the pitch for quidditch practice. I changed quickly and headed out, sprinting down the halls and ignoring Filch when he yelled for me to slow down in the halls. I raced outside and made my way to the field, feeling my stomach tightening to the bruises. I locked my jaw; _mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter._

I reached the field and mounted my broom without pausing, flying up into the sky where the rest of the team was.

"Drummond!" Bartram shouted. "What took you so long?"

"Lost track of time, sorry. Was doing arithmancy homework."

"Yes, because I'm sure that's so much fun," Bartram said sarcastically. "Time just flew by."

"I get the point, I should have been here. Are we going to play or what?"

In response, the trunk was opened, and I barely ducked on time to avoid the quaffle that shot by. Yumi shot after it; I guess she's still primarily chaser. I spotted Natalia Abbot on the stands, looking relieved that Yumi wasn't practicing as seeker. This distraction nearly caused me to take a bludger to the stomach; I dodged to the side, and saw the glare Bartram sent me. In response I chased the bludger down and whacked it, sending it hurtling toward our spare keeper, who barely avoided it.

The rest of practice didn't go much better. I couldn't get my head in the game; I was tired, in pain, and overall agitated. As practice ended, we stopped by the supply room and put our brooms back. I changed quickly into my robes and then Bartram caught me just outside.

"Hazel! What was that? We both know you're a better beater than that. You were all over the place, no rhythm, no reflexes. What's the deal?"

I sighed as I pulled my hair from the lace that had held it out of my face, letting it fall in thick, almost bushy locks after the wind had puffed it up. "I'm sorry, Bartram. I barely slept at all last night, and I tripped coming down the stairs this morning- hit my back pretty hard. It's been sore all day. I just couldn't focus past it."

"There are several Ravenclaws who have asked to be on the team, and a few of them would make excellent beaters. I'll accept that story this time, but next time…"

I resisted rolling my eyes. "Bartram, you know me. I'm the best beater our team has. I had one bad day, and it wasn't even during a game."

"Next time you fall down the stairs, go to Madam Pomfrey."

"Will do," I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I strode off, walking toward the Great Hall. Up the path ahead, I saw two people a little far apart- Lucius Malfoy and Sirius. The only way to get to Sirius would be to pass Lucius, but I really didn't care to get that close.

That was when I heard the shouting.

Sirius and I looked over at the same time to see James and Severus arguing loudly, James putting down the Slytherin boy harshly. I only realized Sirius had seen as well when he reached them at the same time as I did.

"-she's never going to want you! Never! You're a snake, Snape, and she's not."

"That's not true!" Severus growled.

"Oh, it isn't?" James taunted. "It's not true that she isn't a snake?"

"That isn't what I mean!"

"I'll show you, boy- never talk about her like that!"

He whipped out his wand; Severus did the same, but James cast expelliarmus before Severus could do a thing.

"James, what the hell are you doing!" I said as he held his wand to Severus.

"Teaching this snake a lesson."

James cast a spell that sent Severus flying back so that he hit a tree with his back, and then Severus was back on his feet. He raced to his wand and James accio'ed it to him, grinning, and then chuckled.

"Severus Snape, you are _weak._ And you always will be. You don't have the guts to face me, anyhow."

"I'll show you, _Potter,"_ Severus spat, "What happens when you mess with me."

"How?" James teased. "I have your wand, and soon, I'll have Lily, too."

All of my previous sympathy for James, the almost-easiness of being around him, evaporated like morning mist. "James Potter!" I shouted, pulling out my own wand and casting expelliarmus wordlessly, "You may think Severus is a snake, but _you_ are vile! How can you think this is okay?"

"Nobody likes Severus anyway," James answered. "Why does it matter?"

I thrusted my wand closer to him, and then saw Sirius had his pointed toward me.

"Lower your wand," Sirius shouted. I glared at him.

"You aren't defending him!"

"I am."

I felt my jaw clench. "Then you aren't the person I thought you were."

"I don't need your help," Severus snapped then, surprising me. "I can handle this."

"It didn't look like you were handling it very well," I said.

"He can't even appreciate your help," James pointed out. "Why are you so adamant on defending someone who doesn't even appreciate it? He's a coward, and too proud to be thankful. Being on his side won't do you any good."

"Drummond! Black!" _Damn. That's McGonagall._ "What is going on here!"

I turned to see the professor striding over, her face lined with anger. I lowered my wand and turned to her.

"Nothing, professor," Remus said, walking up. "Merely an argument. Hazel and Sirius wouldn't have attacked anyone, right?"

I nodded. "Of course not. I was merely trying to deflate the situation."

"She was about to cast a curse," Sirius added. I glanced at him. _What the hell?_

McGonagall looked at me, her lips tight. "Is this true."

"No!" I protested. "I was going to cast protego, because I wasn't sure how intent Sirius was."

She nodded. "Very well. All five of you, in my office, now."

With a quiet sigh, I followed the Gryffindor Head of House to her office. I didn't want to think McGonagall was biased, but she did know the Marauders better than she knew me or Severus. I couldn't trust any of them to tell the truth, especially now that Remus and Sirius were lying. If she separated us and had us tell our story one at a time, she would receive several different tales. I could only hope she didn't.

We reached her office and she had all of us sit, and I swallowed nervously. I wasn't the type to get in trouble- I just didn't. To be in this office meant I was not the same person I usually was. And to make it better, I was sleep-deprived and still in pain, and Severus didn't even want my help, meaning Sirius and I were getting in a fight due to something that didn't even have to happen. I knew why James was bullying the kid; Severus was closer to Lily than anyone, and Lily was the apple of James' eye. It made him jealous, and he, sensing his "superiority" to Severus, took it out on the boy. And Severus fancied Lily. Sirius was James' best friend and would defend him to the death; damnable loyal Gryffindors. Cassi and I were best friends but we had our fights. We didn't agree on everything the other did. And Sirius's lie! The nerve. _I_ had been trying to cast a curse? If I had tried to, I would have. There is no "try." There's just James Potter with four broken limbs.

"I want all five of you to know," McGonagall began, "That I am not looking upon any of you with special favor, or special distaste. That said, I know who I can trust within my own house, just as I know who I can't." She had been looking out the window on the other side of her desk; she now turned around. "Two of you are known troublemakers. One of you is in a house known for troublemaking. Another of you has been a prefect. And the last is one of my top students. How you five managed to get involved in such a serious fight, I cannot comprehend. But I will not tolerate this level of disruption.

"I am aware there are house rivalries. I can only say what I saw: a Gryffindor and a Slytherin fighting, a Ravenclaw stopping the Gryffindor after he disarmed the Slytherin, another Gryffindor stepping to the aid of the first, and another stepping in to save his friends from trouble. I understand your housing may lead to fighting, but I will not tolerate curses."

"Professor-"

"You will wait until I am done, Miss Drummond. There are arguments and then there is cursing, and with the rise in violence in the wizarding world today, I will not encourage cursing one another. The world is far too dark. And if you were telling the truth that you did not intend to cast a curse, then you will be in far less trouble. As it stands, it is all too believable- especially considering the benefit it would give Ravenclaw in the upcoming match for Gryffindor to be without a Chaser. I did see your captain talking to you just before, in private."

"Professor McGonagall, may I please speak?" I asked.

She gave me a cold stare, and said crisply, "Go ahead."

"My team captain was scolding me because I hadn't been doing my best during practice, that was all. You can ask him yourself. Use veritaserum if you don't believe me. I stepped in because I thought it unfair for James to be armed and Severus not, and I was trying to quell the situation when Sirius stepped in on James' side. I know both of them, they're very loyal and very good wizards. I was afraid I might be in danger, but I never said anything about cursing anyone."

"Then why would Sirius suggest as much?"

Sirius sighed, sitting up. "I said it because I was angry at her for yelling at James. She actually was just trying to calm things down originally."

"Originally?"

"She was trying to stop me," James said. "I had an unfair advantage over Severus in that I'm a far better wizard than him. Hazel is aware of this. I said some things I shouldn't have, and she got angry."

"I was listening from nearby," Remus added. "I would have stepped in if the situation had gotten more intense."

"As it stands," McGonagall said, "The four of you have landed yourselves in trouble. James, you should not have originally stooped as low as to start that fight. Hazel should have let someone know, rather than handling it herself. Sirius should not have pointed his wand at her, and Remus, as someone whose house looks to him for guidance, should have stepped in sooner, perhaps before the situation could even come close to where it was."

I nodded; she was right.

"As for you, Severus, have you anything to say?"

He shook his head silently.

"Any defense for yourself?"

He shook his head again.

"Then I am afraid you will also sit in detention with the others."

"Detention?" I repeated, sitting up as horror flooded my mind.

"Oh, yes," McGonagall said. "You are in far less trouble now that I know you haven't cursed anybody, but you still participated in this skirmish. Therefore I cannot simply let you go and only punish the others. Detention, tomorrow evening, my classroom."

I held in a sigh and nodded. We agreed to her punishment; detention with McGonagall was at least preferable to, say, detention with Filch or Sprout. We left the room as soon as she released us, and Severus strode off quickly. I walked some way behind the three Marauders, despising them completely. Just last night, Sirius was holding me in his arms, and then had me against a wall, and today he's nearly getting me sent to the ministry for a hearing. It was unnecessary. And now I had detention.

I entered the Great Hall without speaking to any of them and then sat down at the table, poking at dinner. Cassi didn't even notice something was wrong until Yumi looked over and asked, "Hazel, what happened? I saw you yelling at James Potter and Sirius Black had a wand pointed at you."

"What?!" Cassi turned around, looking at me. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'll explain in our dorm. I really don't want to talk about right now." I stabbed a slice of cooked chicken, and then threw down the fork. "Actually, I'm just going to head there now. I'm not hungry."

I grabbed an apple for later and stashed it in my pocket, storming off. I had barely reached the stairs before Sirius caught up to me. "Hazel!"

I rolled my eyes, starting up the stairs. He ran up behind me and caught my arm. I glanced down at him. "What, Sirius."

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

I pulled out of his grip and reached the landing, him leaping just as the stairs started to move. He caught my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't be mad at you right now."

He sighed. "Look, I know I messed up- I shouldn't have said that about the curse."

"You could have gotten me sent to the ministry for a hearing!"

"McGonagall wouldn't go that far-"

"Not if it was your or James or Remus! I'm a random Ravenclaw attacking one of her students, and you say I was about to cast a curse. She doesn't know if that means unforgivable or otherwise very bad. If she had thought that, then I wouldn't stand a chance at defending myself. Did you even think about that? You nearly ruined _everything."_

"Hazel, please- I'm sorry."

I shook my head, not looking at him. I forced myself to meet his eyes, planning a hard-hearted goodbye. But the true sadness in his gray eyes gave me pause; his eyes were open larger, shining, and he had a pouty face.

"Hazel," he murmured, "Please give me another chance. Don't turn your back on me. Don't walk away."

His pleas for me not to do what I had just been planning exactly affected me. I gulped, looking away again. When I looked back, he still had that look of pure hurt and desperation and- and affection. Strange emotion for right now. I sighed, wilting. "Fine, Sirius. But you only get one more chance."

His face lit up as he pulled me to him in a tight hug. I yelped, pulling back.

"Gently, please- still bruised."

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," I said, in spite of myself, feeling a smile start to rise. "I'm not too badly hurt." _Just like with the McGonagall situation- it hurt at first, but not too badly._

"Okay," Sirius said, relieved, and held me in a much gentler embrace. He smelled nice, like fresh pine forest after a good rain. He leaned back and smiled at me. "Are we still on for Hogsmeade this weekend, then?"

"I suppose."

"I'm looking forward to it, then."

"Oh," I added, "Cassi said Amos wants to kind of take her on a date there, but she and I always make the first trip together. Would you mind if we doubled up with them?"

"Do I still get to spend a lot of time with you?"

"Yes."

"Then I have no problem with it." He took my hand, looking into my eyes deeply. "Hazel, again- I'm so sorry for earlier. I wasn't thinking. Part of me was angry, felt like you had betrayed James and I, but part of me also wanted to make sure… It's stupid, but I wanted you to be in detention with us, just so I could spend more time with you."

I gaped at him. "Sirius Black, you idiot!"

He chuckled as I punched him in the ribs. "I just wanted to see you!"

"By making me angry?"

"I never said I was smart!"

I sighed at that and grabbed him by the sides of his neck, keeping my thumbs pressed against the side of my hand so it wouldn't look like I was strangling him (though I wanted to), "Sirius Black, you daft tit. You could have just asked."

He smirked. "But then you wouldn't have gotten to see my puppy dog eyes."

"Are you just trying to make me mad at you again?"

"No!" He held me to him again, pressing my face into his chest. "As cute as you are when you're mad-"

He cut off whatever he had been about to say, and I chuckled, pulling away. "Can't breathe against chest." He released me and I saw the redness in his cheeks. I smiled at him.

"C'mon, let's head back. I didn't eat because I was upset."

"They're probably serving dessert by now."

"Dessert for dinner, that's fine."

"I knew I liked you for a reason."

I smirked. "You called me cute."

"I did not."

"Oh, you _seriously_ did."


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

When I got to transfiguration Friday, my only other class with Sirius, he swept over and sat next to me, something unusual (which McGonagall noticed, judging by the look she gave us). He smiled warmly at me, and I looked over at him.

"Do you need something, Sirius?"

"Just your attention for a moment."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why is that?"

I noticed he had unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt; this was something I had only seen done by girls trying too hard for attention, but on him… That little bit chest, soft flesh exposed, was actually somewhat attractive. And was that- chest hair? I mentally scolded myself and looked back up at his eyes (which didn't make it any easier to focus on what he was saying). "Gryffindor is playing Hufflepuff tonight. After we beat Hufflepuff, would you care to go for a walk with me?"

I eyed him. "One, how do you know you'll beat Hufflepuff? And two, where would we be walking to, and why?"

He cleared his throat. "One, because Gryffindor is fantastic. I know you may be secretly in love with Amos Diggory, but his quidditch skills are not as great as you think."

"I am not-"

"And two," he interrupted as McGonagall re-entered the room from her office, "It's a surprise."

He returned to his seat. I sat through Transfiguration with a throbbing curiosity. After the class ended, I had a short break before going to Care of Magical Creatures. I made my way to the seventh floor and entered the Room of Requirement, finding Remus in there. I glanced at him and kept going to Albion, as we had named the dragon. He had grown already. I knelt down and fed the dragon, and then sat and played with him for a little while.

"What did I do?" Remus finally asked, after nearly half an hour.

"What do you mean?" I countered, not looking at him as I played fetch with Albion.

"You've barely spoken to me since that fight with James. I tried to help you lot get out of it, and you're still angry at me. I understand your anger at James, he was being immature and rude. But what did I do?"

"Smart guy like you can't figure out why?"

"I have some theories, but I'd rather just hear it straight from you."

"Okay," I sat back, leaning against a chair and looking at him where he sat at the table, books splayed in front of him. I blinked at him, seeing the still-fading scars from the dog attack. "I'm mad at you for siding with James, for not saying anything. You're supposed to be one of the highest-standing Gryffindors. You work hard, and you're intelligent. You'd be a Ravenclaw if not for your bravery and loyalty just barely outweighing your wit. And still you're best friends with a child who puts down someone due to his own insecurity and jealousy. I understand James wants Lily, but rather than put down Severus, he might actually stand a chance if he was nice to her best friend. And the things he said- if I didn't know better, I'd say James was seconds away from some kind of blood-related insult."

"James isn't quite that shallow."

"And you're still defending him."

"He's my friend!"

"It's the same reason I was mad at Sirius. A wise man once said, 'There are two kinds of evil people in the world: people who do evil things, and people who see evil things being done and do nothing to stop it.' Don't be the latter of those and try to justify yourself with loyalty. Stand up for what's right. Gryffindors are so proud to be this house of courage and loyalty, but all I see is the same loyalty I see in Slytherin, but without the bravery to stand up to your friends, which is an entirely different kind of courage. If you see James being daft and pig-headed, tell him he's being daft and pig-headed. Be the change you want to see. Don't just stand by."

Remus looked surprised, but surprised me as well by saying, "It sounds like you're mad at a lot more than me."

"I am, but you are adding on to the problem. A lot of people do what you did, and that's why I don't get along well with a lot of people. If I see someone being immoral, I don't tolerate it."

"You forgave Sirius."

"Sirius has proven to me before that he's more than he makes himself out to be. I've made a similar speech to him. And this isn't about Sirius; you asked why I'm mad at _you._ Now I've told you. Take it or leave it, that is my reasoning, I'm not sorry for it."

"I am," Remus said. "And you're right. As I said, James was out of line. This isn't the first time he's acted like this. I'm sorry, Hazel. I've never liked Snape, and maybe that's James' influence. I still shouldn't have let him be that way."

"There's dislike and then there's being a bully," I muttered.

Remus sighed. "You're right, as I said. What about James? Will you ever forgive him?"

I glanced at Remus before throwing the wood Albion had chosen as a toy. "I might, if he gives me good enough reason to. As it stands, he's arrogant and rude. I don't care for him at all."

"That's understandable. I'll talk to him about it."

Sirius stepped out of the portrait, glanced from side to side until he spotted me, and walked over to where I stood leaning on the railing. He smiled. "You actually showed up."

"Of course." I grinned. "You made me curious about what would happen if I did."

He shot me a wolfish grin. "Well, let's find out."

He started down the hallways and I walked with him. "So how do you know we won't be caught? It _is_ after dark, and there are rules, you know."

"Oh, I'm just good like that. Who do you think came up with the enchantment for the map?"

"Remus."

Sirius chuckled. "I was trying to seem so smooth."

"I know, that's why I had to stop you," I said, and he bumped my shoulder with his. I bumped him back and kept walking. "So… Can I have a hint?"

He smiled down at me. "No. Just keep talking about things for now. How was your day?"

I raised my eyebrows at the change of subject and then looked back ahead, watching my feet and where I was walking. "It was… Good. McGonagall keeps giving me the evil eye though."

Sirius laughed, in a higher pitch than usual, and I grinned at the sound. He looked over at me. "I'm sorry, again."

"Mhm."

"Really."

I glanced at him. "I still don't understand why you didn't just _ask_ to spend time with me. Trust me, a walk through the school at night is far more enjoyable than that detention was."

"I'm figuring this out," he said, smiling at me. I groaned and his expression changed, still smiling but his eyebrows pulled together some. "What?"

"You keep- just- never mind."

"What?" He repeated, laughing.

"You- you do this thing, it's the way of smiling that just encompasses who you are, it's joking and it's happy but it's also genuine and wit and- I can't explain it. It just fits your face well, it looks nice there."

He chuckled softly, looking at his feet, and then looked back up. "That's how you see me?"

I felt my cheeks redden. "May- I might- maybe."

"Joking and happy and genuine and witty?"

Now it was my turn to look at my feet. "That's who you show me. But there's something more to it, something farther underneath the surface that I won't ask about but I know is there."

He looked over at me with a glint of wonder in his gray eyes. "I may have under-estimated you."

I glanced at him, having to look away when his eyes were too lovely for me to keep looking. "How so?"

"You notice things. I knew you were smart, and witty, but I didn't think- I mean, you picked up on Remus's secret. You don't know what it is but you know there is one. You noticed I have secrets. You noticed the struggle between James, Severus, and Lily before any of them really admitted to it. And yet, you won't make a big deal about it. You won't embarrass James or Severus- well, you might embarrass James now, due to the other day. You won't pry into mine or Remus's secrets. You're… You're clever enough that you could use your abilities to your advantage, but you don't. You're too sweet to."

"Is that really how you see me?"

"Yes."

We continued to walk, chatting idly, until we reached the astronomy tower. He smiled at me and started leading the way up the stairs; I followed quietly behind, my mind racing. On the one hand, I had heard the rumors of the couples who disappeared up here to be alone together. On the other hand, I had the oddest feeling every time I came up here that someone would push me off, even if I was up here alone (and yet I would go lounge on the roof). We reached the top and Sirius sat on the edge of where an opening offered a sheer drop to the ground far below. He laid his back to the wall and looked out at the stars.

"Come here," he said, "I want to show you something."

I stepped forward and sat down next to him, a few inches back from the edge. He smiled at me.

"No, come _closer._ Dont' worry, I won't do anything that might hurt you."

I glanced at him warily and scooted a little closer, keeping him on the outside. He pointed at the sky.

"You see that star, there? Not too far from the moon, bright star, red-tinted almost?"

I followed his finger and saw the star, brighter than the dim twinkles around it. If I looked at it right, I could see the red tint. "Yes, I see it."

"That's the Dog Star. It's called that because the constellation around it, Canis Major, is supposed to look like a dog. Do you see it? The constellation?"

"I do, yeah."

He smiled at me. "That's what I'm named after."

I felt my lips curving up in a smile as I turned my gaze back to him, only to find him watching me with a close-lipped smile. His hair blew in the breeze, a few strands falling in front of his grey eyes. As I looked at them, I found myself enraptured in the enchanting cinder grey circles, centered as they were with small black circles and bordered by near-black charcoal. With the black lashes and hair and pale skin, his grey eyes really stood out. There was an emotion in them I couldn't place; I had always read about people showing emotions through their eyes, but Sirius was one of few people I knew to actually do that.

I realized I was just sitting here gawking at him and leaned back, clearing my throat. "C'mon, it's my turn to show _you_ something."

We stood and he grinned at me. "I can't wait to see what that would be."

"Oh, you'll see."

I opened the closet and Sirius looked on in surprise as I pulled out my spare broom. I mounted it and turned to him.

"Here, climb on behind me."

He did so and I clamped my legs onto it and pushed off, zooming into the night. I flew around the tower and then down to the lake, finding what I was looking for. I landed the broom and waited for Sirius to get off first, and then set the broom on the shore. Sirius looked at me warily.

"Why did you drag me out to the lake in a random patch of forest?"

"This," I said, placing my hand on a tree. I grinned at him. "My namesake- a hazel tree."

"Ah." He stepped forward, looking the tree up and down. "Why did your mother name you after a hazel tree?"

I smiled, turning around to lean on the tree and look out at the lake. "My father hinted to my mom about magic, but she didn't know much about it. He died around the time she discovered her pregnancy, and he didn't get a chance to fully explain her daughter might be a witch. But my mom had some idea of it, and remembered hearing witch hazel- and so she named me."

"So you _are_ the witch Hazel?"

"I am the witch Hazel!" I chuckled and Sirius came over, standing very close to me, and placed a palm against the trunk of the tree.

"Well, it's a very nice tree," he said, looking it up and down. Again, we were very close. I found myself watching the way his lips moved as he spoke, shaping every letter and smiling. "Broad, tall, but not showy. Very pretty green leaves, starting to go gold. So that's why they say hazel eyes." He looked back at me, staring directly into my eyes. "You have very pretty hazel eyes."

I sighed, turning back to the lake. "I suppose. But your eyes are silver as stars."

"Is there something wrong with being a hazel?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, it's just… I'm Hazel. I'm down in the dirt and covered in bugs. You're Sirius, you're up in the sky, admired and beautiful."

He chuckled. "You're looking at this all wrong. You're Hazel, you're something recognized and useful, an ecosystem for many creatures, beyond helpful. I'm a distant, remote twinkle, pretty to look at but not of any real consequence."

I glanced at him. "I wouldn't expect that from someone like me."

"Like me?"

I grinned. "All arrogance."

He laughed. "I'm still arrogant, more so than I should be. It's just that my name is a family name."

"Why is that bad?"

He sighed, turning his eyes to the tree. "The 'noble house of Black' isn't as noble as they claim. A bunch of pure-blood, prideful, rich, demeaning idiots who think they're better than everyone because they're one of the _old families._ I despise the lot of them- though not so much my cousin Andromeda. She just recently married a muggle-born." He grinned. "My aunt was so angry. Kicked her out of the family, even. It was beautiful, though, the way Andromeda stood up to her."

I chuckled softly, but looked down. If my birth defined me to his family, then I wasn't ever going to be able to stand a chance with him. Not that I had really thought about it, of course. It just hurt to think I never could. I felt my heart pounding in the back of my chest, rippling to my shoulders. It was weird; it ached.

"Mind you, I don't care about blood," Sirius added, stepping to the shore and grabbing a rock. He flung it out, watching it skip twice and then splash under the surface. "I moved out last year. Went back for Christmas, and after being called a blood-traitor too many times for being in Gryffindor, I left. Made my way to James. The Potters don't mind me staying with them, and I appreciate it."

A weird relief tingled where there had been ache before. "They sound like good people. The Potters, I mean, not your family."

He chuckled. "I would hope that's what you meant."

I forced a laugh. "Considering my own 'half-blood' heritage, I don't care for those who use their blood as a matter of pride. It's nothing anyone can control, and no one should be looked down on because they were born."

"I like you, you know that? You speak your mind. And we can agree on your stance on the whole blood thing."

I tossed a rock, watching it skip to the middle of the lake before going under. "At least we have that."

"Hey, how are those bruises coming?"

I glanced toward my stomach. "They're green now, and the ones that were green to start with are yellow. They're getting there."

"I still wish I had been there. I could've- I don't know. I'm not better than Remus at combat, but I still- maybe I could have done something."

I smiled at him. "I appreciate it. Suffice to say, I'm alive, and I'm healing. You really were concerned, though, weren't you?"

He nodded. "I'll never admit it to anyone else, but yes, I was scared witless that you wouldn't wake up. I had just almost lost one of my best friends in a similar manner, and had just gotten him back conscious when you go and decide to fight trolls for a dragon." He grinned. "Who do you think you are, an adventure hero?"

I grinned back. "I don't _think_ I am. I know I am."

He rolled his eyes, laughing. We stood out there for what felt like hours, talking and laughing and skipping rocks, and I found myself really enjoying it. When the moon began to near the tree-line, we mounted my broom and flew back to the astronomy tower. I stashed the broom and then walked to the bottom of the tower, where Sirius and I paused for a moment, as it made more sense to part ways here. He took my hands and smiled at me.

"Thank you for spending time with me tonight," he murmured.

"Thank you for wanting me to."

He laughed softly. "Of course I did."

"So why did you want me to go with you? What was the surprise?"

He leaned down so he was close to my ear. "I really just wanted to spend time with you."

As he pulled back, he touched his lips to my cheek briefly, and then smiled.

"Goodnight, witch Hazel."

As he started down the hall, I replied, "Goodnight, dog star."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

Hair up, hair down? This sweater or that? Jeans or black pants? With a groan, I flopped onto my bed. Cassi kicked me and said, "C'mon, lazy- get ready for Hogsmeade."

Cassi was already well put together: brown ringlets pulled into a cute ponytail, light makeup done, a black skirt with pink polka dots, slick pink button down, and black flats. She looked cute and ready to go, and meanwhile, I was the sodden lump of despair on the bed wishing I was just back home and not worried about some dumb boy. I rolled my head to the side so my voice wouldn't be muffled and said, "I have nothing to wear. Nothing. And I can't go naked, so I guess I just won't go. Tell Sirius I'm sick."

Before I could return to burying my face in the pillow, Cassi had grabbed me and, with surprising strength, yanked me out of the bed. She looked me dead in the eyes emphatically and declared, "You are going to Hogsmeade whether you want to or not. Your best friend needs you to go to Hogsmeade. I need you to help me figure out if Amos likes me, and I need a fellow spy to see if Xeno and Pandora snog."

"Or I could just stay here with Yumi," I suggested with a cheesy smile. Yumi had to stay behind after she twisted her ankle at quidditch practice; she had tried to fix it herself. Oh, Madam Pomfrey had yelled.

"Or you can just come with me. Get dressed, I'll see you in the common room in five."

Cassi strolled out and I sighed, slumping over, and then turned back to my trunk. There had to be something…

After ten minutes, I made my way into the common room in tight black denim leggings, an oversized black turtleneck, and knee-high black combat boots. I had left my hair down and done a little bit of a smoky-eye makeup effect, and I felt like I looked good. Cassi looked over at me. "You ready yet?"

"Yes, obviously," I answered, tugging at the sleeves.

"Okay, let's go."

Cassi led the way out to the grounds and we fell in with the crowd. We lightly discussed how we would find the two boys; it was decided we would just head straight for the Three Broomsticks and see if they were in there. Outside of that, Cassi and I chatted as we hadn't in a while. My bruises were almost healed, thankfully, and the walk to Hogsmeade wasn't as painful as I had expected, though I still gasped a few times when a stitch in my side would seem to renew the bruises. The weather was perfectly awful; muggy, chilly, with fog lying thick over the village as we approached. Low, dark clouds pressed over the trees, green as they still were, and it felt like autumn had come early as we crunched leaves underfoot and the fog chilled us.

We reached the Three Broomsticks to find it already filling with students. Cassi and I claimed a booth by the back, and she went to wait by the door. As I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest, I looked out the window. There was something aesthetically pleasing about the weather today, or maybe it was because this was the first time I had worn this much black since fourth year. I grinned at the memory; I had gone through a trouble-maker phase, and that was the height of my adventures. I was starting to learn I was very good at spells and very good at not getting caught, and both of these I used to my advantage. I was as bad as the Marauders that year, and they took the blame for a few of the stupid things I did.

Sirius sweeping into the booth returned me to the present and I looked over at him, eyebrows raised. He grinned. "Hi."

"Hey," I greeted him, grinning.

"You look different."

"I'm not stuck in school robes, and I'm not wearing a skirt. Of course I look different."

Sirius himself looked better than usual, though, I had to admit- black leather jacket, dark gray t-shirt, and dark jeans with boots on. _I bet that jacket smells nice- they always do._

"So," I said, to keep from thinking too much about his stupid leather jacket, "You ready to buy me that butterbeer finally?"

"I am. But seriously, it feels like it's been months since we made that bet."

Looking down, I nodded. "No kidding."

"Fighting three-headed dogs, you almost being killed by a troll, finding a dragon… Been a wild ride, Drummond."

"It isn't over yet," I said, more insistent than I expected.

"No, that's true. I'm just stating it's been crazy already."

I nodded in agreement and then Amos and Cassi came over. Amos gave Sirius a wary look; Sirius responded with a wolfish grin. The Hufflepuff sat down at the edge of the booth as Cassi slid in next to me, and I remembered what Sirius had said- _Amos Huffle-puffin' Diggory._ This was going to be interesting.

"Hey Hazel," Amos greeted me with a smile, nodding once, and then he turned to Sirius and with a more forced smile said, "Sirius."

It took me a minute to remember Sirius's team had slaughtered Amos's only last night. I bit the inside of my lip to keep from laughing aloud. Cassi seemed to sense the awkwardness, as she said, "Okay, everyone, what's the plan for today? Share a couple butterbeers here, and then..?"

"And then _I_ have to go meet up with Remus and James," Sirius said. "Very important business."

Cassi rolled her eyes. "If stalking Lily Evans is 'important business', then sure."

Sirius's expression tightened. "I guess it beats wasting my day with the Hufflepuff I beat last night."

My face dropped to my hand but not before I saw Amos's irritated expression, just before he said, "That's really unnecessary."

"It's true."

I groaned, looking up. "Sirius, can you please not do this today?"

He smirked. "Only because you asked me so nicely."

"Why did you invite him again?" Cassi asked quietly.

"He's not that bad once you get to know him," I muttered.

"I can hear you," Sirius added and I looked up at him.

"I'm aware."

A waiter stepped up then. "What would you four like?"

"Two butterbeers," Sirius answered. Amos and Cassi ordered actual food; I was planning to swing by Honeyduke's after this.

"No problem."

The waiter waltzed away and I pulled my knees up again, leaning on the window. "So, guys, how's Hogsmeade so far?"

Cassi gave me a look that already seeped sarcasm. "Fantastic."

The rest of our time at the Three Broomsticks didn't go much better. There was an undercurrent of rivalry between Amos and Sirius, and Cassi spared no mercy for Sirius and I, unleashing her full venom (and sarcasm) on us in a fit of dislike for the Gryffindor. I finished the butterbeer quickly, and then excused myself to go to Honeyduke's. I bought a few chocolate frogs and a box of Berty Bott's, and then saw Sirius slinking off, glancing over his shoulder, as suspicious as a cat making off with the milk. With full curiosity, I stepped out into the fog and began to follow.

The dampness of the day concealed my footsteps as I trailed him from a distance off and to the right, so when he glanced behind he didn't see me. He began to follow the trail into the forest, and then suddenly changed direction, heading back toward the school. I watched with increasing curiosity, unable to stop myself. He rounded a sharp turn, but when I got there I didn't see him. Suddenly a wand was at my back.

"Don't move," he growled, and then his tone changed. "Hazel?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me. Could you lower your wand, please?"

The pressure on my back subsided and I turned around, facing him. He glared at me. "Why are you following me?"

"I was curious."

"Did it ever occur to you that my business is not necessarily yours?"

I shrugged meekly. I had no explanation. "I just… I thought we were friends. You were acting suspicious, I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You thought wrong. Go back to Hogsmeade."

"No," I insisted, stepping closer to him. A twig crunched under my foot and I was suddenly aware of the rippling tension around us. I stared him down. "I'm not leaving until I know what's going on."

He huffed, glancing to the right, and then stepped toward me. "Hazel, please- I can't tell you. It isn't my secret to tell; I made a promise, years ago, and I intend to keep it. Don't ask me to change that."

I sighed. "Sirius, you sound like you're in trouble."

He shook his head, grey eyes earnest. "I'm not. I just can't tell you this one thing. Please understand."

I stepped back. "Why the change of tone? A moment ago we weren't friends, and now you want me to understand."

"I'm sorry, Hazel. We _are_ friends. I just- I panicked when I realized someone was following me. Please go back to the village. If you follow me from here, then you aren't really my friend. We all have our secrets; I need you to respect that."

I stared at him. The realization hit me by the desperation in his face for me to understand, to go back. It was whatever huge secret Remus was keeping. I stepped back again, and nodded. "Okay, I get it. I promise I'll go back to the village; I won't follow you this time. But Sirius, if you're in trouble, please-"

"I'll come to you," he agreed, nodding. "Just, let me go this time."

"I will. I promised, so you can trust that. Bye, Sirius. Stay safe."

He smiled warmly at me. "I will. You, too, Hazel Drummond."

I turned and began walking back the way I had come, feeling the trees surround me in a serenity I hadn't noticed during the first walk. Something about the way the blanket of fog trailed between the trees comforted me; the opaqueness of the forest echoed the clouds above, and rather than feeling trapped, I felt a false sense of security.

False, because I had only just reached the trail again when a dark figure stepped out across the path from me.

It was a male, a wizard, in a dark peacoat and striped, vibrantly colored scarf. He wore a low-sitting black hat, and immediately stepped forward through the woods. I barely had time to gather my wits about me before he was firing a spell.

"Protego!" I yelped at the last second. The spell bounced back and he dodged it, continuing forward.

"Petrificus-"

"Expelliarmus!" I fired mentally before he could finish the spell. As he ducked for his wand, I racked my brain for another defensive spell. Fear quickened my heartbeat and panic vanquished my mind, disabling me from defeating the dark wizard. He had gotten his wand and aimed it; before I could cast another protego, he cast something. A bolt of light struck my stomach and I fell back, feeling my vision haze over. Through a moment's clarity, I spotted Professor Harley whirl through the trees, his wand aimed. Then that moment passed, and I sank into the deep, hollow blackness of unconsciousness.

When my mind returned, I was sitting in Professor Harley's office with a steaming teacup in my shaking hand, the saucer in the other. I was perched on the floor with my back to the wall and a cushion underneath me; Professor Harley was standing by the window. I looked up, confused, and glanced around. I tried to stand and fell back quickly as my legs felt like jelly.

"What happened?" I asked, and my voice was foggy and far away. Professor Harley turned around, and then rushed over as the world went sideways around me. The teacup shattered, hot tea seeping toward me. I was aware of a vague sensation in my arm; it took me minute to realize it was the tea burning me. I tried to plant my hands on the ground to move, and only ended up flopping back down after two tries. Frustration lit through me and I felt my face creasing; I started to cry, trying to move, and I couldn't hear anything Professor Harley was saying, I could only hear his voice. Tight hands- constricting- _let go- let go! hot tea-_

The next time I came to I was in the infirmary.

My mind was free of the fog that had invaded it like the mist in the trees. I could hear faint voices from outside the infirmary's open doors; looking over, I saw the backside of Dumbledore, with Professor Bronte and McGonagall. Bronte saw my eyes opened and nodded toward me; the other two turned around and all three strode in. Dumbledore got to me first.

"Are you alright?" he asked. I nodded, shifting up. I felt a dire pain in my stomach and winced. Dumbledore rose his eyebrows.

"Old bruises, I think," I said, and lifted the hem of my shirt. A large, dark red scar was forming in a star-shape just over my diaphragm. "Maybe not."

I took a deep breath. McGonagall strode to my other side. "Did you see who did this?"

I shook my head. "He had a hat," I recalled, "But it was low, and hid his face in shadows. I- I couldn't see him. I'm sorry."

"Don't trouble yourself," Dumbledore reassured me. "It will all be taken care of."

"I suspect you're wondering why a random adult would attack a student," Professor Bronte noted from the end of the bed.

"Should we tell her?" McGonagall asked Dumbledore. I glanced between the three.

"Yes, you should," I answered for him. "I'm the one who was just _attacked._ I think I deserve some kind of explanation."

"Miss Drummond," Dumbledore said, "Do you read the Daily Prophet?"

"When I have time. I haven't since returning this year, I've been busy studying for N.E.W.T.s."

"As I expected. There is a dark wizard on the rise- his name is Voldemort." A chill ran through me; I had heard some about him, but not much. "He will gather forces and he will do terrible things. The current assumption is that the wizard you saw today was one of his followers."

 _Today?_ At the word, I realized I had no concept of time. I glanced at the windows- after dark, so it could be any hour. I swallowed heavily. "Are you saying I was attacked by one of those- those- Death Eaters?"

"Yes," McGonagall answered, "And you are seriously lucky to be alive."

Serious- Sirius! Where was he? He had been out in the woods alone. I sat up quickly. "Where's Sirius?"

"Sirius?" Bronte repeated.

I nodded. "Sirius Black! He had just started off into the woods around the time I did- I don't know where he was going. There may have been others."

"Sirius Black returned to his dormitory at the appropriate time, free of harm," McGonagall assured me. With a relieved sigh, I sat back.

"Okay. He's my friend, you see- my Charms partner. I wanted to make sure he was alright."

"We quite understand," Professor Bronte assured me with a smile. "Now then, Professor Harley saved your life. He had been going down the trail to gather students and make sure there were no duels happening. He then saw you get struck by a particularly nasty curse, and he leapt forward. Before he could attack the Death Eater, the man apparated- but we will find him. As for you, you'll need to be in here for at least two days on bedrest, according to Madam Pomfrey, so don't get any ideas about going looking for him."

I peered at Professor Bronte. "Why would I go looking for him?"

"Some are convinced we're on the verge of war-"

Dumbledore held up a hand. "Not now, professor. I believe the best thing for Miss Drummond is sleep. Students do not need to know of the full situation yet."

I glanced between the two. _I'll just talk to Bronte on my own time, when I get out of here._ I had to know- I needed to. I would do what I could to prevent this from happening to anyone else.

And where was Cassi? Or Yumi? Or Pandora? Or even Sirius or Lily or Remus? I had friends, I thought, but now I was on a hospital bed after being attacked and I was all alone. Maybe that was how Voldemort wanted me to feel- all alone.

That, or my friends were less observant than I thought. Probably too busy snogging.

The morning came after hours of sleeping off and on and being generally very bored. Madam Pomfrey kept me well-supplied with pumpkin juice; I had to, as usual, re-accustom to it. Madam Pomfrey brought me breakfast and sent someone for my books; as I ate, a familiar red-haired girl showed up in the door to the room. Lily Evans handed an envelope to Madam Pomfrey, and then spotted me. Her green eyes shot open and she excused herself, hurrying over at a barely-controlled walk.

"Hazel! What happened?"

"Has no one heard?" I asked, spearing a sausage on my fork. Lily shook her head. With a sigh, I set down the fork for a moment to speak. I explained the Death Eater in the woods, leaving out the part about following Sirius. Lily nodded.

"Are you okay? Could you imagine-" she paused, glanced around, and leaned close. "Could you imagine if a Death Eater had been out in the woods that night?"

I sighed. "All too clearly. It isn't safe out there, Lily. I daresay we were lucky to run into a troll and not something worse."

Lily nodded. "I'll go tell the others. No one has heard anything- I suppose Dumbledore would want this kept quiet. Does your house at least know?"

"If they do, then they're piss-poor friends. No one has been by here."

Lily gingerly placed her hand on my arm. "I'll go tell the others. Eat up; I'm sure you need your strength. Do you mind if I see the scar?"

I pulled back my shirt. Her eyes seemed to almost pop out of her head at the sight of it. I pulled my shirt back down. "Felt worse than it looks."

"I can't see how- that's a nasty scar. Okay, I'll see you in a little while."

She vanished again. I finished my breakfast, and Madam Pomfrey took the tray. The errand girl returned with my books and I opened my Care of Magical Creatures text, figuring I could study up on Albion a bit more while I had time. Ah, who would take care of him? I hadn't been in to see him since Friday night, and I was the only one who could get close to him alone. Everyone else needed me there. Damn. Maybe I could sneak out to him..?

The door to the infirmary burst open to yield Remus and Sirius running toward me, followed by Lily and James. By the time Sirius had reached my bed, Cassi and Yumi were in the doorway. Sirius raced over and moved my book, causing me to lose my page, and then hugged me tightly. I grimaced against the pain and hugged back.

"Are you okay?" He asked immediately.

"Who did this?" Remus added.

"I'm okay," I said, "I just need rest." I turned to Remus. "Death Eater."

Everyone stilled at the words; by now, Yumi and Cassi had reached the table. The six stared at me and I shrugged.

"Harley saved my life. For a divination teacher, he's very useful."

Sirius's jaw set. "I'm gonna kill him."

I turned to Sirius in shock. "Harley?"

"No! The- the Death Eater."

"No," I said. "Dumbledore doesn't even want people to know, I think. Not yet, anyway. They don't want me to go after this guy, and I don't even know which one it is. All I know is he's a much more powerful wizard than any of us."

"You don't think it could be," Cassi paused, and then leaned forward and said softly, "Voldemort?"

"No." I shook my head. "It wasn't him. Bloody strong wizard, but not that strong."

"How did this bloke get so close to the grounds?" James asked, glancing at the window as if he expected to see a dark figure at any second. "Do you think he could make it inside Hogwarts?"

I watched as the first few drops of rain began to fall. "Maybe he already has. How do we know it isn't someone already here, waiting, watching?"

"What would he want with you?" Remus asked. "Why you in particular?"

I shook my head. "It isn't about just _me._ It's anyone. We're all in danger, the whole school. And the only way to stop it, I think, is to finish that map and face them ourselves."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

I was back in class soon after. The next two weeks passed uneventfully; October crawled in with fog and cold. Sirius and I reconciled, but I was still left in the dark about wherever he was going that day. We continued to work diligently on the map; Remus and I argued several times about the practicality of its use as a weapon, when it was originally intended to get the others out of trouble. Snape stopped coming to the Room of Requirement; he said he had helped enough with Albion, and would rather focus on his studies. I think it was partially due to the way Lily and James kept looking at each other; I almost expected them to start snogging any minute. As for Albion himself, the dragon was swiftly approaching the size of the half-grown dog, and it was increasingly difficult to keep him fed and entertained. He was evermore playful, and playing with him was evermore dangerous.

One day, _something_ finally gave.

It had been a quiet Wednesday of mapping out the third floor, getting the minor details we needed, with Remus levitating a book and me writing an essay for Divination. Sirius was drawing the map, and Peter and him were quietly discussing the upcoming quidditch game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. I was keeping quiet about it; it was better that way.

I sighed and sat back; I could almost feel the dust gathering on me after sitting so still and quiet for so long. That was when James burst into the room, shouting words so quickly none of us could understand him. " _Lilygra-ndkesdumindgrate!"_

"Slow down," Remus said, grabbing his friend's shoulder. "What happened?"

"She kissed me!"

"Who did?" Sirius asked. "Someone kissed _you?"_

James collapsed into an armchair with a happy sigh. "Lily Evans will someday be Lily Potter."

Sirius rolled his eyes, turning back to the map. "How much butterbeer did you sneak back from Hogsmeade?"

"None!" James exclaimed, sitting up. He grinned. "We were strolling along the library, and she was telling me about some famous wizard adventurer who did all this amazing stuff, and then she paused and asked if she was boring me. I said no, and then she smiled, and I promised her it was interesting, and then she looked at me and I looked at her and-"

"Spare me the details," Remus muttered.

"Oh, no, keep going," Sirius countered, clearly enjoying his friend's ecstatic babbling.

James happily obliged Sirius's request. "And then she leaned up on her tippy-toes and she _kissed_ me. Just planted her lips on mine, and then smiled and said, 'I always wanted to do that!'" His impersonation of Lily was awful, but I held my tongue, just grinning. "And then she said she should go, she had studying, and I was too dazed to stop her, and then she walked away and I came straight here."

"You didn't chase after her?" I asked, surprised. He shook his head. I sighed. "James, when a girl kisses you, the _first_ thing you should do is kiss her again."

His tone suddenly turned sour. "What would you know of it? When was the last time someone kissed you?"

"Fifth year," I answered, unashamed. "Before we left for the summer, Bartram Clearwater kissed me. It's part of why he's mad at me now and criticizes my every move, because I never wrote to him after that."

Sirius whistled low, and James gave me a look. "And you think you can direct me on what to do after someone kisses me?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was just trying to help. Lily's my friend. I still don't like you after that fight that day, and I only cooperate with you for the good of the school." I stood, closing my books. "If you don't want my help, that's fine. I was only doing it for her, anyway."

I strode out of the room; things were still tense with James and I. I was truly happy for the couple, but I was also somewhat unhappy that Lily would pick someone as terrible as James- especially after what he did to her best friend, who I was pretty sure was in love with her. I sighed; it wasn't my fight, or my place to say. Carrying on down the halls, I made it back to the Ravenclaw common room, and sat down with Xeno to work. Cassi came in after a while and sat next to me.

"And where have you been?" She asked.

"Went for a walk around the grounds," I answered. I turned back to my work.

After about twenty minutes, Pandora poked her head around the corner of the door. "Hazel, there's a Gryffindor boy here to see you. He says it's important."

Thinking instantly of Sirius and the Marauders, I excused myself from the table and walked toward the door. _What had happened? Who was hurt? Did Albion get loose?_ The door opened enough for me to see through the opening, and I grimaced at the sight of James. I was looking forward to beating him at quidditch Saturday. Pandora brushed past me, and I glanced behind. Cassi was staring at me with curiosity. I shrugged and stepped out, closing the door.

"What do you want?"

He looked around and then leaned close. "I want to apologize."

"No."

He gaped. "Why not?"

"Who convinced you to apologize to me?"

He shrugged. "Remus said it would be best."

"Of course it was Remus. James, I'm not the one you need to apologize to. Yes, we argued, but that isn't why I'm mad at you."

"I know. Remus said _that_ much."

"And you didn't listen. Or if you did, you didn't consider what he was saying."

James did a double-take, stepping back. "I always consider what my friends say! Maybe not to the extent of you oh-so-smart Ravenclaws but I _do_ think about it."

"So you say, but if so, then where's the proof?"

"What 'proof' do you want?"

"Evidence that you listened to your friend it not hard to come by. Apologize to those who deserve an apology. You unarmed someone and then continued to taunt him about everything you could under the premise of your own pride. And what does my being a Ravenclaw have to do with thinking about what my friends say? Even Slytherins think for themselves."

James rolled his eyes. "I came here to apologize but it clearly doesn't matter what I say, you're still mad. I'm leaving."

"Good. Great. I don't care. Go."

He strode off down the corridor and I turned around, whispering the passcode and returning to the common room. Cassi intercepted and asked what was wrong, but I just shook my head and returned to my paper, muttering something about James Potter being an insufferable twat.

Two days later, things only got worse.

We were discussing what to do with Albion as the first week of October came to a close. Remus and I agreed that on Halloween night, the two of us and Lily would apparate to the dragon's native land in Ukraine and leave him there. I had grown quite attached to Albion, and I would be somewhat sad to see him go- but also very relieved. I had barely slept this term, trying to sneak out and take care of him. Even my studies were suffering for the lost time dedicated to the creature. I had no problem with catching up, of course, it was just very different from any previous year.

As I left the Room of Requirement, I started toward the Ravenclaw common room. My mind wasn't on where I was going, and I continued down the staircases toward fifth floor, thinking about the paper I needed to get written for Care of Magical Creatures and the game tomorrow and the arguing with James and how Sirius and I hadn't spoken much in our classes and Halloween coming up and Albion and Cassi falling for Amos and the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw game two weeks from tomorrow and the Gryffindor-Slytherin game the next week and everything except where I was going.

And so when I saw a black dog running down the corridor, it took my last thoughts of where I was going and replaced them with confoundment-

And then I was left thinking about the fact my foot didn't land on the next step.

And then I fell down the stairs.

I sat up on the landing after falling down and glanced around; at least it appeared no one had seen that embarrassing fall. An intense pain was in my wrist, and when I looked it was turning green at the joint. _Damn._ I tried shaking my hand to literally shake it off, and it only made me wince and bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep from crying out.

What would I do during quidditch tomorrow?

The thought made me swallow my pride and stand up. I withdrew my wand and aimed it at my left wrist. "Episkey."

Rather than healing, the bone shifted, now slightly jutting out. A painful _crack_ resounded and I yelped, and then pulled my sleeve down. _Okay, then, I'll just- I'll just use my right hand only._

Bartram was gonna kill me.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

We lost the game.

I heard from the infirmary after the game that Ravenclaw had lost to Gryffindor, badly. Madame Pomfrey had just finally fixed my wrist and released me when Bartram caught me.

"Hazel! You left us stranded!"

"I broke my wrist!"

He was fuming, his entire face red and blue eyes blazing. "You could have warned us sooner than this morning-"

"It was last night, I didn't think it was serious-"

"This and that practice that one day, if you aren't careful, you won't be in the game against Hufflepuff."

I gaped at him. "It was an injury! I couldn't control that!"

"You should have gone straight to the infirmary-"

"Why is it so important to you? If any other member of the team was injured, would you treat them like this? You can't possibly blame me for the loss when we have _several_ other members of the team."

"I'm treating you like this because it's very convenient you didn't have to play against your little Gryffindor friends. Sirius Black asked where you were."

I stared him down. "You _really_ think I broke my wrist on purpose so I wouldn't have to go against them? I've been looking forward to humiliating James Potter for two months."

"I don't know what you do anymore, Hazel. We never see you in the common room and even at practice, your head is never in the game."

"I've had a lot going on-"

"Like what?"

"I've had to work with several people I don't like this term, I've barely been able to sleep, I'm adjusting to N.E.W.T. level classes, all of my friends are acting strange, Cassi barely talks to me now that she's head over heels for Amos Diggory, my teachers don't look at me how they used to and I don't know why, and- there's just been a lot going on. And since I got back, you've been looking at me like a pariah and I think it's because I never wrote you after that kiss."

Surprise crossed his features. "Why did you bring that up?"

"To apologize. It isn't you, it's just, I've been busy, and I never expected that from you. Please just give me time and don't hold that against me."

Bartram sighed. His blue eyes calmed, and his face lost its color. "I'm sorry, Hazel. I _really_ fancied you last year."

"I never picked up on it, I'm sorry."

"Could we, though..?"

I paused, thinking about it, but when I looked up at blue eyes I thought of grey and had to shake my head. "I'm sorry, Bartram. You're leaving next year, and I have a lot on my plate right now- maybe some other time..?"

He sighed. "No, it's fine. I understand, and I'm sorry for holding it against you as long as I did. It just felt like you were intentionally ignoring me-"

"I really just didn't know how to respond."

"No, I get it. Besides, Natalia Abbot keeps eyeing me. Her brother is a Hufflepuff, but she's very pretty. Think you could help me with that?"

I smiled. "Sure, Bartram. So you aren't kicking me off the team then?"

He looked off. "Nah, I suppose not. You're an alright beater. I'm just a sore loser."

"An 'alright' beater?"

"Yep."

"Bartram, I'm the best."

"That's a touch conceited."

"You're a touch conceited."

He laughed. "I prefer the term confident. Come on, let's go eat before they start dessert."

"I don't mind dessert for dinner."

"That's weird."

"I'm a weird girl."

"I know. So, why did Sirius Black ask where you were?"

"I have no idea. He's also a weird bloke."

"Hm. If I didn't know better, I'd say he fancies you."

"He was likely also waiting to defeat me at quidditch."

"Likely."

That evening, I sat with my back to the wall along the ledge in the astronomy tower. The stars twinkled overhead; I didn't have the motivation left to fly up to the roof and see more of them. I felt as if whatever energy made me myself had been sapped, leaving me a strange husk. Perhaps it was the overwhelming stress lately, or maybe it was more serious than that.

At the word, I sought out the dog star, finding it quickly with its red glint. I felt a small smile; maybe my strangeness lately was due to Sirius. I wasn't the same Ravenclaw I had been before I met him. My mind briefly carried me back to when I had first met Sirius, an event I had tried since to forget- and now didn't mind so much.

 _I zoomed upward, hesitating a moment. I glanced around- a bludger was racing toward Dove. I started forward, and suddenly a bludger rammed into my side. I swerved sideways, parallel to the ground, and ended up dangling from the broom. I struggled, swinging my legs, and tried to get back on my broom. I saw the Gryffindor beater hit a bludger, and it shot off toward me. I nearly screamed, trying to lift myself onto my broom as it jerked around. The beater, a dark-haired boy I didn't recognize, realized what was happening and shot forward._

 _Catching the bludger coming toward me against his chest, he zoomed forward- and was almost to me when a quaffle suddenly rammed one of my hands. It slipped from its grip on the broom, and my other hand started to fall. At this point, I was still about thirty feet above the grass of the pitch._

" _Hang on!" The dark-haired boy shouted, coming forward. Two seekers shot by in front of him, and as they passed me, the wind knocked my balance away. And just like that, I was falling. My broom hurtled down next to me and a scream flew from my throat._

 _I was amazed to feel myself caught suddenly as I neared the ground. The person who caught me lowered down to the ground and then dropped his broom and set me down. I looked over- the Gryffindor beater. He looked at me anxiously. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry."_

" _I'm-" I held in a curse as the pain began to set in in my ribs. I winced. "I'm fine. Thanks for catching me."_

" _Are your ribs alright?"_

" _I think at least one is broken," I said, gripping my side. "I'm fine, though. Too much adrenaline to feel it."_

 _He chuckled. "I get it. Want to get back in the game then?"_

 _I looked over. My broom lay on the ground nearby, still in one piece, amazingly. "I guess so. I'm Hazel, by the way- Hazel Drummond."_

" _Sirius Black," he replied. "Second year."_

" _Me, too," I said, grinning. "Now, come on- you've got a game to lose."_

" _I save your life, and you insult me. Alright, let's go."_

 _I grinned and got on my broom. I would regret the broken rib not being treated right away later._

I smiled at the memory; from the start, Sirius had been a good guy. Part of me wished he would show up here, but I doubted that would happen. I sighed; quidditch- that brought back other memories. The meal with Bartram had gone smoothly, but I could tell he was still hoping I would start swooning over him. If that was the only way to keep his favor, I was hopeless, as was my quidditch career. Luckily, the quidditch season was almost over for now. Spring would bring more, but for the time being, I would be free for the holidays.

I stood and left the astronomy tower. It brought me no calm anymore. A yawn stretched my jaws; maybe I just needed sleep and I would feel better. Or a walk around the grounds, if I could get out unseen.

Entering the main hallway, I began to wander, heading for the stairs. I knew I shouldn't be out of bed and should try harder not to be seen, but I kept an ear out and my footsteps light. I took to shadowy corners and crept along walls-

And that's why it nearly scared me out of my skin when Sirius showed up next to me.

I yelped and he clamped a hand over my mouth and then tugged me into an empty classroom. He pushed a chair in front of the door and then smiled at me. I felt myself gaping open-mouthed and snapped my jaw shut. "Yes, Sirius?"

"I thought that was you I saw lurking about the halls. I just wanted to ask what you were doing, but Filch has been meandering around the castle and I wanted to make sure he wouldn't catch us."

I stared at him. "Catch us doing what, exactly?"

"Just talking," he assured me. "I promise, Hazel, nothing more than talking. Since when are you so paranoid?"

I sighed and stepped over to the window, looking outside again. "I don't know, it's just been a long few days."

"Since that nasty fall broke your wrist and the fight with James?"

I nodded. "I still don't like him."

"You two are very different people," Sirius noted, but he had a note of wistfulness. I looked over to see him sitting on the desk, staring off into the class.

I wanted to ask about that note of wistfulness, but instead changed the subject. "How was the game? I heard we lost badly."

"Ravenclaw just isn't Ravenclaw without you, Drummond."

"Bartram still threatened to throw me off the team."

Sirius looked over sharply. "Why?"

"He says I should have gotten my wrist taken care of, and accused me of intentionally breaking it so I wouldn't have to play against you and my 'Gryffindor friends'. He's as bad about house rivalries as Cassi."

Sirius snorted. "Not sure if he's _that_ bad, but even if he is, at least he has a reason- he's a quidditch captain."

"And I'm a beater. I should be competitive, too. Instead, even as he was threatening to throw me off the team, I was more curious about the fact you asked where I was."

Sirius smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah. Very disruptive. And then I talked to him about that awkward kiss before the summer, and I thought we had an understanding that we wouldn't be more than friends, and then we sat down to eat dinner and he flirted with me the whole time. And Albion has to leave soon and James and I disagreeing is going to lead to me being kicked out of the Room of Requirement and there are still a bunch of secrets I know nothing about and-"

I cut off as Sirius took my face in his hands.

"Hazel Drummond."

"Yes?"  
"You are the single most worried witch I have ever encountered, and it's funny to me because you are also the only witch I have met with so much talent and intelligence. Any conflict life throws at you has been received as a challenge. Why is that changing now? Stress? You're bigger than whatever problems you face."

I stared him down. Silence stretched, and then I grinned. "Since when did you get so wise?"

He grinned back. "I'm still riding the high of utterly _destroying_ Ravenclaw."

I punched him in the gut and he laughed, stepping back.

"If you remember," he continued, "The last time Gryffindor won a game, you and I went on a very nice walk. Of course I'm happy to win a game. And now look at us, alone in a classroom, talking about life again."

I grinned, looking out the window, and then stood. "C'mon, Sirius, let's go back to our dorms. It's the middle of the night. I'll see you in Charms Monday, yeah?"

He stood in front of the door. "Wait- before we go, promise me something."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "What is it?"

"Go to Hogsmeade with me next time, just us two?"

His grey eyes twinkled with hope and I felt a smile rise. "Sure, Sirius. Gladly."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

As hopeful as I had been after talking to Sirius that night, peace never lasts long.

Firstly, I caught Cassi and Amos snogging, and when I tried to ask her about it I received denial and a rebuke of my friendship with Amos. And then she promptly left. This was Monday.

Then in Charms, Flitwick moved on to the Aqua Eructo charm as a nonverbal spell, which left me mentally handicapped for the rest of the day, it seemed. It also left me with a migraine, and I had barely managed a spout- more than Sirius, but neither of us did very well.

During my free period, I was busy working to finish a History of Magic report due next period- which I only barely finished, with a scrapped-together conclusion that earned a hard look from the professor.

Then Arithmancy contained a very moody Severus and a lovestruck Amos, neither of which I felt like dealing with. When I left early, I bumped into Lucius Malfoy, who was in a terrible mood and nearly started a duel until he recognized me and strode off. I ended up in the library, where Lily found me after a while.

"Hazel, are you alright?"

I looked up and found genuine worry in her green eyes. I nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Sirius said you've been stressed. He's worried about you."

"Hm." I closed my book. "I suppose I have been stressed, but it's nothing too terrible, really. It's just harder classes and everything that's been happening lately. I feel like I'm just going through the motions and never really dealing with the effects. I can't remember the last time I did something _fun._ And since Bartram Clearwater has decided he wants me swooning over him, I don't even really have quidditch anymore. Yumi does, but that's because she's our new seeker, and a bloody good one at that. I wish I could just set them up, but it wouldn't solve any problems. I'm having a hard enough time getting my best friend to open up to me about falling for a Hufflepuff."

Lily gave me a sympathetic smile. "Hey, come on- I think I know what might cheer you up."

With nothing really to lose and nothing else to do between now and dinner, I followed Lily out of the library. The pretty redhead led the way to seventh floor and then paused outside a portrait. She cupped her hands around her mouth and whispered to the portrait, and then it opened.

"Wait here," she said, disappearing behind it. The portrait closed again. I looked at the fat lady.

"What's through there?"

"Gryffindor common room," she answered. "None of your business."

I resisted rolling my eyes and turned away, watching students running along the stairs below. After a few minutes, Lily stepped back out and then led me out onto the grounds. It was almost curfew, but she didn't seem to care, and I was at no point of protesting. We ended up by the greenhouse and she led me around a ridge to a series of large stones and then down a path. The final destination was the old quidditch pitch, now an empty, lightly marked field of grass. She sat down by one of the trees and I sat next to her.

"Here," she said, holding out something. "Chocolate frogs."

I took one and grabbed the card. "Rowena Ravenclaw- how sweet."

Lily grinned. "I still haven't gotten Godric. I've gotten Helga Hufflepuff a few times, but never Godric or Rowena. I have a theory Salazar isn't in here."

"You're probably right."

She bit a leg of chocolate frog and then said, "I don't understand why. Not all Slytherins are bad. There's the vile ones like Lucius Malfoy or that fifth year Narcissa Black, but then there are those like Sev. He and James have their arguments but he isn't a bad person. James is worse than he is, if I'm honest."

I shrugged. "How is James a Gryffindor? Gryffindor house seems a bit more noble."

Lily smiled. "James is arrogant and has a bad superiority complex, but he has a good heart. Remember that day with the dog, when you saved him from it and he jumped in front of me? Had that been you, he would have jumped in front of you, too."

"I highly doubt that."

"You might, but I _know_ him. If he were completely meritless, I wouldn't even give him a chance."

I bit the inside of my lip a second. "Lily, you didn't just bring me out here to convince me to forgive him, did you?"

"No, really, he just happened into the conversation. I just thought you might need some time with a friend."

I smiled. "We're friends?"

"Of course, Hazel."

We sat out there a while longer, eating sweets James had bought Lily at Hogsmeade and talking casually about everything and nothing. She told me about her family, her sister who despised her for her magic, her muggle parents. I told her about my muggle mother, and my dead father's secrecy. We talked about the Marauders and Severus, and Cassi and Amos. We argued good-humoredly about the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game. With wide smiles, we returned to the Great Hall for dinner; it honestly did help to talk about everything. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

It wasn't over yet.

That evening, I retreated to the Astronomy tower and reached the top. As I did, I heard quiet footsteps- and turned around to see James and Remus heading up the stairs. I ducked into the shadows by the broom closet, and watched as they reached the top and laid out a piece of parchment- the map. That explains it. I was about to step out and try to help when Lucius Malfoy stepped up the stairs as well. James looked up with shock, and then his expression hardened. He folded the map and stashed it in his pocket.

"And what are you two doing? A little talk in the moonlight, Lupin?"

Remus gave the Slytherin a hard glare. "And what would you know of it?"

Lucius smirked. "More than you would want me to." He stepped a little further toward the top, and James pulled out his wand.

"Don't come closer, Malfoy," James warned. Lucius rolled his eyes.

"What will you do about it, Potter? There isn't much you can. I'm a far better wizard than you are."

James glared, lifting his wand. I could tell there was a more distant history here. "Would you like to test that out?"

Lucius glared back, withdrawing his wand as well. "Perhaps I will."

Remus grabbed James' arm, pulling it downward. "Don't, James- you've gotten in enough trouble already."

"Yes, listen to your friend- crawl away like the coward you are."

James cast a curse wordlessly in an impressive display of wizardry I hadn't expected from him. Remus withdrew his wand in seconds, but Lucius shocked all three of us by casting a spell that sent James flying back-

Over the ledge and falling from the astronomy tower.

 _No!_

It took me less than a second to react; my body did before my mind could register what was happened. I had a wand in one hand and a broom in the other and reached the edge, shouting, "Arresto momento!"

James' fall would be slowed but not by much. I mounted the broom and shot down perpendicular to the ground at a dangerous angle, and then swept underneath James in time for him to fall onto my back. We both hurtled to the ground, but now from about three meters rather than maybe thirty. We fell the last bit quickly, and I felt my spare broom collide with my collarbone and my hip as I landed on it, James' weight adding to the impact from above. I rolled out from under him, slightly tangled in the broom, and then turned to James. He slowly opened his eyes.

"I'm not dead."

"Right you are," I breathed, adrenaline still coursing through me. He turned his wide gaze to me.

"Did you just save my life?" He whispered, incredulous. I nodded.

"I did. I may not like you much, but I wouldn't let you die."

He sat up and, to my surprise, hugged me. I felt a throb pulse through my collarbone and was tempted to withdraw, but James Potter hugging me was too much of an anomaly for me to protest. He held me there a long moment and then pulled back.

"Hazel Drummond, you are one of the most incredible people I know. I have no idea how you acted that quickly but I am ever thankful for it."

"I don't know either, but for what it's worth, I'm glad you aren't dead, Potter."

He smiled at me, a genuine smile- not a smirk, not a grin, but a smile that lifted his cheeks and twinkled in his hazel eyes. "Me, too. Thank you, again- I- you have no idea how grateful I am to you."

He grabbed me in another hug and this time I gasped and he pulled back.

"Are you hurt?"

I grimaced. "My collarbone hit my broom." At the thought of flying again, I realized something. "Come on, let's head back up there- we left Remus and Lucius alone!"

James leapt up and mounted the broom and grabbed me, pulling me onto it behind him. We flew upward at a less intense angle and reached the top to find Remus had immobilized and disarmed Lucius, to our relief. He saw us and relief lit his face. He greeted James with a hug as I put the broom back after we landed, and then James explained what happened and Remus grabbed me in a tight hug as well. We left Lucius in the astronomy tower and started back to our dorms, going the same way for a time.

"Why were you up there anyway, Hazel?" Remus asked.

I sighed. "Oh, this reason or that. I've had a lot on my mind lately. I hid because I didn't know who was coming up there."

"We're right glad you did," James said, with a breathless laugh.

I grinned. "Me, too."

"I froze when I saw James fall," Remus admitted. "I thought I was about to lose a friend."

"I just knew there was a broom next to me and a way to slow his fall," I replied. "I had to act."

"You saved my best friend, Hazel. There's no downplaying that."

I smiled at Remus, but now we had reached the fork in the road, where they would head off to Gryffindor's dorms and I would be going to Ravenclaw Tower. The two hugged me and then started off, and I turned to the stairs to sixth floor. They had just started to move when James jumped onto them and grabbed me in another hug.

"I know I've been an ass. I'll apologize to Snape tomorrow. I understand now why Sirius talked about you so much, and why Lily likes you as much as she does, and how you and Remus get along. One simple act and you saved my life. You didn't have to, but you did. I thought for sure I would die and it's because of you I didn't. Anyway," he pulled back from the hug, "Goodnight, Hazel. I just needed to say one more time that you're a good person and I appreciate what you did."

I smiled. "James, I would've done it for anyone- but it did influence me some that it was you. If you apologize to Snape, I'll let go of the grudge I've held onto against you, and maybe we'll be friends."

"I hope so. Goodnight, Hazel."

"Night, James."

I trotted down the stairs and jumped as they moved right as I hit the bottom, and then felt my adrenaline vanishing as my bruises started to throb.

...And naturally, McGonagall caught me sneaking back into Ravenclaw dorm and I got detention, along with James and Remus, who were caught by Filch.

 **A/N:** I'd like to thank you guys for the reviews you've been leaving, and for the faves/follows.

Fea Just Me: I see what you mean about the constantly being hurt; I've read too many books recently where the author was cruel to the characters. She gets bruised in this one, but I've actually written a good few more chapters after this, so rather than alter the whole story, I decided to leave this chapter how it is, but in future writing I'll keep that in mind. Also, thank you for your review!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

A rainy Saturday greeted the usual train of Hogwarts students filing to the Great Hall. Gossip buzzed through the crowd after that morning's edition of the Daily Prophet; Voldemort was on the rise, and had killed a witch- a nameless woman, but the aurors couldn't decipher what drew him to her. I took a seat in the Great Hall, feeling my appetite draining.

"You alright?" Yumi asked. I shook my head.

"If we don't win this game, if I'm not at my best- my future is on the line, Yumi. Bartram may kick me off the team."

"You'll do wonderfully," Yumi assured me. "You always do."

I sighed, dropping my spoon. "I'm not so sure."

"Just don't get caught up mooning over Amos Diggory, yeah?" Sirius's voice suddenly appeared next to me. I nearly leapt out of my skin, turning to see the Gryffindor sitting in the previously empty space next to me. He grinned. "You'll do fine, Drummond. Just lose yourself in the game. Remember how badly you ruined Slytherin a while back, and that if you had played against Gryffindor, we might not have won so easily."

"Thanks, Sirius. While you're at it, why don't you mention Bartram scolding me and my other recent failures? Very uplifting."

Sirius rolled his eyes and then grinned at me again. "You'll do fine; just have faith in your teammates, and don't take your eyes off the bludgers. That's your job. And no mooning."

I rolled my eyes this time, and then elbowed him and turned back to my breakfast. Sirius stood up.

"See you at the pitch, Hazel."

He strode off and Yumi grinned at me. "What was that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius Black dared the Ravenclaw table just to talk to you, on the day of a quidditch game? It's bonkers- _unless_ he fancies you."

I grinned. "It isn't like that."

But even with my denial, I was still driven to eat now, my appetite reborn after the run-in with that grey-eyed, dark haired dog star.

The rain subsided and the sun came out, just in time to give us a partly cloudy quidditch match. The game began and Amos Diggory took his place at Hufflepuff's goalposts. I watched as the seekers began searching for the snitch, and then waited for the bludgers- ah, there's one.

The game lasted hours, literally. Hufflepuff's beaters gave me all the trouble they could, but even after one of ours dropped, I still managed to compete against them and keep our team safe. Hufflepuff still scored, however; Ravenclaw kept a lead on them, but not by much. The snitch would be the only thing to determine the game; neither team had enough of a lead on the other.

I saw Yumi spot the snitch again and seized an opportunity as the other beater did. I sent both bludgers to the other side, and one pelted one Hufflepuff beater and sent him down, and the other was barely intercepted with a tap by the other beater. I zoomed forward and hit it back, sending it flying to the other team. It hit a chaser; the remaining Hufflepuff beater hit the other bludger toward me and I hit it back and then spotted the other flying toward Yumi. I zoomed forward, taking a blow to the side from the bludger that cracked painfully, and, disregarding the hit, I turned to grab the bludger. I hurled it back and Hufflepuff's remaining beater was hit in the arm, and sent to the ground. I was now the only beater left, and it was sunset.

The announcer was tiring and so was I. The bludgers flew back toward Hufflepuff but eventually would wind back to me. My arms were heavy, as were my legs, from the constant activity. I could feel my exhaustion but the game wasn't over yet, and quidditch games didn't end until the snitch was caught. If only _accio snitch_ were allowed, but the penalties for that, even if it would work, wouldn't let us win the game.

 _Come on, Yumi,_ I mentally prompted, seeing our chaser score another ten points. A bludger raced toward her afterward and I zoomed forward, knocking it out of the way. The bludger shot off and I watched with increasing alarm as it moved toward an oblivious Amos Diggory, who was intent on a quaffle heading toward him. The bludger was on path to collide with his skull- a potentially fatal hit. _Oh, no-_

"Yumi Kae has caught the snitch!" The announcer called, and relief filled me. Amos turned at the sound and then caught the bludger with shocked eyes, and turned to me with a surprised grin. I gave him an apologetic shrug and then turned to see Yumi zooming to the middle with the snitch in her hand, victory lifting her arms to the sky. She cheered and whooped and we crowded around her as she held the snitch up, and our team lowered to the ground around her.

Lifting Yumi up, Bartram and a few other members began the victorious retreat to Ravenclaw's common room, our exhaustion gone in the relief of success. I ran back with the others, feeling my heart warmed and lifted by the hard-earned victory. We reached the common room and another party broke out, with music and food and cheering. Yumi hugged me and pulled out our last box of jellybeans from Hogsmeade. I felt warm success spread through me, and a sense of camaraderie among the team I hadn't felt in a long time. As the rest of Ravenclaw house filed into the common room, a bunch of witty know-it-alls celebrated a victory even Cassi had to enjoy.

That night, I was sleeping soundly, only to be woken at half past two to a paper airplane note that had somehow gotten into the dorm and began pecking my face. I grabbed it and my wand, thinking _Lumos,_ and then unfolded the airplane.

It only read,

Hazel, come to the Room of Requirement immediately.

Remus is hurt. We can't go to Madam Pomfrey, but if he doesn't get help, he may die. We don't know what to do.

-Sirius

Eyes wide, I cast _nox_ and quickly dressed, and then wrote _on my way_ and sent it back. I opened Pandora's trunk and grabbed the book she had received recently from Madam Pomfrey- _A Witch's Guide to Healing-_ and snuck out.

Just to be sure I made it there, I hid my clothes in a corner and shifted. Once in my other form, I raced down the halls in the corners, keeping myself almost against the wall, close enough I could feel it brush past the fur lining my flanks. The stairs were a challenge; I wasn't big enough to traverse them in any way semblent of easy. I had to jump each one separately, slowing me down some, but at least I wasn't seen. I reached the seventh floor and paused in a corner, shifting back and casting accio to retrieve my clothes. I dressed quickly and then paced the corridor thrice, finally seeing the big door appear. Hurriedly, I opened it and stepped in.

Remus was sitting hunched over with his usually-tame hair in a mess around his face. One of his hands was on his side, where blood seeped through his shirt. But the worst part was his face, where three long gashes crossed his features, over his left eye, the corner of his mouth, cheek, and forehead. With a gusty exhale, I strode forward quickly. At the door closing, he looked up- it was even worse with a frontal view. Dark blood dripped steadily from each gash, and beneath it, his paling face contrasted to the crimson. He couldn't open his left eye, and he didn't bother with a courteous smile.

"What happened?" I asked, opening the book and searching the table of contents.

Sirius and James glanced at each other. Remus sighed. "Tell her." He coughed and wiped away blood that entered his mouth at his lips parting.

"All of it?" James asked, and Remus nodded. I found the section I was looking for and began to flip through the pages to find it as James spoke. "Remus is a werewolf."

I paused in my searching, feeling my lips part and eyes widen. _A-?_ Quickly remembering Remus's attitude about this, I swiftly masked my shock. "Okay," I said, and cleared my throat when my voice squeaked. "So what happened?"

I reached the section and began skimming for spells as James continued, "He- it's the full moon. Normally, we go to the Shrieking Shack so he can change. Sirius and Peter and I are all animagi-"

I glanced up at this, and then quickly back down.

"-and it helps Remus to cope with the change. We're able to be there for him while he isn't himself." I lifted my wand to Remus's face, casting a spell to stop the bleeding. James continued. "Tonight, Remus changed, and then ran into something in the forest- none of us are really sure what it was, but it did that to his face, and messed up his side, too. He- somehow, he changed back, we think from the injuries. We have a potion that helps him deal with the shift, and we think maybe it helped him to change back. Either way, he ended up stranded in the forest, until Sirius found him and called to Peter and I. He had gotten away from us and we didn't know where he went; Sirius is- well, he changes into a dog, and he sniffed him out."

I looked up at Sirius. "Dog star. I get it now."

He grinned briefly and then dropped it, turning back to Remus with concern. James continued on. "We got him back here after a while, and then we decided it would be best to call on you to come help. None of the school officials know about Remus being a werewolf; we've fought for six years to keep it a secret. He could be expelled if they find out."

"Dumbledore would be understanding," I countered.

"We can't be sure," Sirius replied. "Even if he did, if word got out that Hogwarts was harboring a werewolf, some of the families would protest. I know for sure that mine would."

"The 'noble house of Black' isn't so noble," James added.

I cast a spell that healed the skin, but it still left fleshy pink scars. I stepped back and sighed. "Remus, you'll be scarred, but it's the best that I could do. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'm alive, and I still have both eyes."

I smiled sadly, looking at his pretty dark blue eyes, now permanently scarred. I turned to his side, lifting his shirt, and repeated the process. As I waited for the blood to retreat back into him, I asked, "So, what do you two turn into? I know you said Sirius is a dog, but..?"

"A stag," James answered. "It's my patronus as well."

"You know the shape of your patronus? We don't start casting them for a while yet in class," I commented.

"We do some extracurriculars."

I nodded, hiding that I was impressed, and began sealing the skin back. His side healed better than his face. "And Peter?"

"A rat," the boy answered.

I nodded and stepped back, pulling Remus's shirt back down. I had to hide that the glimpse at his surprisingly toned, tan upper body had my teenage girl mind going places it shouldn't. I glanced around at the Marauders to find them all watching me warily. "What?"

James shook his head briefly. "It's just- it's shocking to us all, I think, that you're accepting this so well. We just told you Remus is a werewolf and you barely flinched."

I shrugged. "I knew he had a secret. I never pressed to find out what it was, but I knew he had one and had it to be big for you lot to be so defensive about it. I had a theory after what Lucius said last night, but I wasn't going to press. Remus is a good friend, and if he's a werewolf, then he's a werewolf. That all three of you are animagi is more unbelievable, to tell the truth."

"It's believable that I'm a werewolf?" Remus asked, sounding somewhat unhappy about that. I shook my head.

"Not just by looking at you. It's more that when they said it, I didn't have a problem believing it, mostly because I knew there was something like that. And back to the point, how are all three of you animagi? Is that how you bonded, or..?"

"We did it ourselves," Sirius answered.

James picked up, "Once we found out Moony was a werewolf-"

"Moony?"

He grinned. "Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is Wormtail, and I'm Prongs."

"Isn't that on the map?"

"It is."

"Okay. You were saying?"

"Once we found out Moony was a werewolf, we did some research. Most textbooks will tell you werewolves are monstrous beasts in their wolf form, and would even go as far as to turn on their best friend, given the chance. We all believed it after the first time we tried to comfort him while he was in that shape. Then Peter found a potion that might help, and we experimented with it a bit, adding this and that, and that helped some. And then Sirius read that having an animagus around helps connect to the beast while also calming the human in a werewolf. So we did more research, and found a way to become animagi- complicated process, but we did it."

"Third year," Sirius added, sounding proud, as he should be.

"So you just pulled out your wand one day and decided, I think I'll be a dog?" I concluded, and they nodded. I felt a strange stirring of anger and stepped back. "That isn't fair."

Sirius glanced at James and then said, "We can teach you how to-"

"No, it- it isn't that." I sighed. "Remus, do you have any other injuries?"

He shook his head and I cast one more spell that would ease shock and help him recover. Grabbing the book, I turned and walked out. I had just reached the stairs when Sirius caught up to me.

"Hazel, wait- what is it? What's wrong?"

I stared at him.

"Is it because we're animagi? Please- don't tell anyone. We could get in a lot of trouble for it."

"There's a reason for that," I said. "Being an animagus is something that should happen naturally, like being metamorphagus. You don't just do a spell one day and become one. If that was something that should happen, it would be more widely known that you could."

"I still don't see-"

"I'm a ferret," I finally burst. "I'm an animagus, and I turn into a ferret."

 **A/N:** The big reveal! Hazel's a ferret. That's what she's been "shifting" into this whole book. Lovely, yeah?

And yes, she got hurt again, but this time it was in a very reasonable way- beaters are supposed to get a little bruised, and it wasn't intensely so.

 _And_ now she knows about Remus, and the Marauders. Her reaction is so calm because at this point, she pretty much expects these things from those four, and she knew Remus's secret had to be something intense. I don't know if it's accurate to say Dumbledore didn't know; he probably did, and kept it quiet, without even Remus being aware- we'll accept that, right?

So, thoughts, opinions, constructive criticism? Thanks for reading!

-One more thing: If you have an account on Inkitt, the Fandom 3 contest is running, and guess who submitted to it (and really doesn't self-advertise a lot so this is weird for her)? I did! Look for "A Black Life" on there; it's a short story about Sirius, and if you would like to vote for it, that would be awesome, too.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Sirius stared at me in shock. "You're- what?"

"Do you need proof?" He shook his head. "Back when you and James were trying to find out my 'secret way' of getting around the castle unseen, that was it. I'm able to turn into a little rodent and run around hidden corners. I can't do anything with it, and I can't just control what animal I turned into. Ferret was chosen for me. Why? I don't know. But that's why it isn't fair that you and James and Peter got to choose."

Sirius gaped, and then, to my surprise, smiled hugely. "Hazel, that's amazing! You're an animagus! Who cares that it's a ferret? Ferrets are incredible! You can do things the rest of us would have trouble with, with James and I being as big as we are, and Peter not being big enough- you're the medium! This is wonderful!"

I stared at him. "I just told you I turn into a ferret, and you respond by being cheerful. Who are you?"

"I'm the dog star, Sirius Black."

I pursed my lips for a second, opened my mouth to say something, and only managed to shake my head once and say, "Yeah, I suppose you are."

We returned to the Room of Requirement a moment later and Sirius had me stand in front of the other three Marauders. I sighed and then said, "I'm sorry I rushed out, I wasn't angry at any of you, just at life in general. The secret I've been keeping from you three is that I'm also an animagus, but it just happened to me naturally."

James looked at me with astonishment, his eyebrows raised. "Really? What do you turn into?"

"A ferret."

He grinned. "Sweet."

"So you aren't much different than I am," Peter said.

"Ferrets and rats are actually very different, Peter- no offense."

He shrugged, and then Remus looked at me with new eyes. "You're an animagus? Naturally?"

I nodded. "Kind of like you, except a little more tame."

He smiled, almost shyly. "How did you find out?"

"I've known my whole life. Mum says when I was little I would disappear for long periods of time, and she always thought we had rodents in the house. I figured out she would be frightened of magic, and I kept that hidden, but still I would go to the park and transform and just run around. I finally told her when I got my Hogwarts letter."

"Are both your parents muggles?" James asked. I shook my head.

"Mum's a muggle. Dad was a wizard, but he died before he could tell her about it. She said he seemed like he was planning to tell her something big once they discovered she was pregnant, but he died before he could."

"Sorry," James said. I shrugged.

Remus spoke up again. "Did you ever feel like an abomination?"

"Now and then, yes, because the muggle world said that kind of thing was unnatural." I set down the book and stepped over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. "But _you_ , Remus, are not an abomination. You are a talented, smart, brave wizard with a condition that prohibits you from living a normal life, but you have good friends who are helping you through it."

He smiled at me, and then I stepped back, picking up the book again. The clock chimed three, and I smiled at the Marauders. "Last night, I saved James' life, and tonight I save Remus's. I guess you lot just have to get used to me. Anyway, I have to head back to Ravenclaw Tower- I'm still exhausted from that quidditch match, and this is actually Pandora Kalloway's book."

They nodded in understanding and said their goodbyes, Sirius offering to walk me back. With a shrug, I accepted his offer, and we started off. The hallways were silent, as were we, on the walk to fifth floor. We stopped at the door and I turned to Sirius, who hugged me.

"Thank you, Hazel."

"For?"

"James, Remus, being my friend, being good to them... You don't have to do these things, you know. You just do, though, and you're a good person. You're the kind of friend we would want around. And you've given Remus someone he can relate to, which is something he's needed for a long time. Sure, I'm a dog, which is fairly close to a wolf, but he needs someone else who has this condition naturally. You don't know how much that will help him. And now you know the secret, so we can stop walking on eggshells around you."

"Seems like I've been learning a lot of secrets this year."

"And you've done a wonderful job keeping them. We appreciate it more than we can express. Anyway, you've got bags under your eyes and a Sunday morning to sleep through. Goodnight, Hazel. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Sirius," I said. He kissed my forehead and started to walk off, and I added, "You, too," and retreated to my dorm. After replacing Pandora's book in her trunk, at which her cat hissed at me, I laid down; I had barely hit the mattress before I was fast asleep.

In the morning, I woke around nine to a beautiful yellow dawn and an empty dorm. I dressed quickly in a dark green turtleneck and dark jeans, and then ran to the Great Hall, catching the last few minutes of breakfast. Xeno was still at the table and smiled at me.

"Good morning, Hazel. Ready to go see Professor Harley this afternoon?"

"That's today?" I nodded. "Right, yeah. I'll be there. I also have to go see Professor Kettleburn, so apologize to Harley for me if I'm late. I've been slacking on going to see them both."

Xeno nodded and I grabbed one more raspberry fritter, downed a goblet of orange juice, and pocketed an apple before exiting the Great Hall. I finished off the raspberry fritter by the time I reached Kettleburn's hut and I walked in to find the puffskeins had doubled in size, now as tall as my knee. Perry greeted me by bouncing into my hands; I sat down and he curled up, falling asleep. I petted Barry and Larry, while Gerry danced around my feet. Professor Kettleburn stepped out of his office a minute later.

"Oh! You're here already. Good afternoon, Miss Drummond."

"Still morning, professor."

"Right."

We spent a while longer talking about the puffskeins and caring for them; they were very easy to take care of, basically fed themselves and didn't require constant attention (though they would demand it at times). Perry was still the most docile, while Clementine had livened up since I was last here.

"It's been a while since you've come to visit," Kettleburn noted after a while, once the Puffskeins had fallen asleep. I shrugged.

"I know. I've been busy with my studies, and Hogsmeade, and quidditch. I'm not sure if you heard, but I was in the infirmary twice already this term."

"Dear girl! It's only midway through October!"

I smiled and shrugged. "I know. The first time was because I ran into a Death Eater."

"Really?"

I recounted the tale, and he listened with shock.

"And I didn't hear about this?" he noted afterward. I shrugged.

"I thought you would have."

"And what was the second time for?"

"I fell down the stairs and sprained my wrist. When I tried to fix it, I made it worse, but we played Gryffindor the next day and I thought it might heal overnight- turns out trying to heal it actually broke it, and Madam Pomfrey was furious."

He chuckled. "I can imagine. She doesn't like when students try to heal themselves."

"She's given Pandora a book on healing. That, or the girl came by one on her own."

"She was likely given it by Madam Pomfrey, yes. I stopped by the infirmary a week or so ago, and Pandora was in there talking to her."

We continued to chat a while longer, making conversation, and Professor Kettleburn gave his usual spiel on the dangers of different creatures and told his run-ins with them. I was treated to a new story- that during the last trip to Hogsmeade, he had been in Hungary, studying dragons, and was nearly caught on fire. Lyra showed up saying lunch had just ended, and I realized I had been down there much longer than I had planned, and that I was late for Harley. Kettleburn gave me some kind of meatpie and sent me on my way; I ate it and the apple while returning to the castle. I would be drinking tea with Harley and Xeno until three, when the Ravenclaw quidditch team would meet to discuss the schedule for upcoming holidays and winter break (which, admittedly, was still two months away).

I reached Harley's class and remembered when I had last been here one-on-one like this. The tea leaves had shown a dog with the sign of Venus; I felt myself redden again at the thought, especially knowing now that in many ways, Sirius was a dog. I sat down at a table, to find Xeno wasn't here yet. Professor Harley stepped out and smiled at me, and then sat down at the table with me.

"Good to see you're still bright and dedicated to your studies. How are you feeling?" He greeted me.

"Been better, been much worse. I swear, if not for Divination and Care of Magical Creatures, I'd be mad by now."

He chuckled softly, and then cast his blue eyes at me full of concern and care. "Hazel, truthfully, how are you? You haven't spoken much about the Death Eater attack, and I can understand if it's gotten to you."

I bit my lip for a moment and then met his eyes finally. "I... Have been more stressed lately, yes. I tried to blame it on everything but that, but you may be right. That's definitely adding to my stress, to know that anywhere I go, I may be suddenly attacked. I know Hogwarts is safer than Hogsmeade, but if they can get that close, how much closer can they get? Dumbledore's a great wizard, and I don't doubt the power of his defensive spells, but... It's just- troubling."

He nodded, sympathy in his pale face. "I understand. Come now, I have a tea meant to relax the drinker. Perhaps it will give a good omen, yeah?"

We chatted about teas, keeping the conversation light, while he prepared a pot. He told me about the different teas he had, and about a woman he'd been seeing, keeping the details light (though I pried for more). Once he set down the tea cups, I looked at mine, with its lily-green color. I sighed, and then looked up. "Professor Harley, thank you for saving me that day. I never got a chance to say it."

He smiled. "You're welcome, Miss Drummond. I'm glad I was able to help."

"So am I. Now then, shall we?"

We drank the tea, continuing to talk, and when I finished the cup, I looked at the dark green leaves in the bottom, with their yellowish tint. All of the leaves had clumped to the middle, forming one distinct shape:

A phoenix.

After Harley's, I made my way down to the quidditch pitch, seeing Bartram and Yumi and Natalia Abbot already there. It looked like Yumi and Natalia were arguing, and I jogged the rest of the way to them. By the time I reached them, Bartram had stepped away and was pinching his nose.

"...I didn't 'steal' anything! I won it! I _earned_ it!"

"I was out one time because I was hurt, and you stole my position while I was in the infirmary! What did you do to convince Bartram to give you that position?"

"I don't know, maybe, be a better seeker?"

"You still lost the game against Gryffindor-"

"We were a beater short and it was raining. I was hit by a bludger and lost sight of the snitch, and then Gryffindor's seeker caught the snitch-"

"I've taken loads of bludgers-"

"And lost loads of games," I cut in. "You haven't really taken that many, because I have saved you from them many times, even going as far as to get hit by them myself to save you, so don't even lie. If Yumi is seeker, it's because she's a better seeker than you."

"She just tried out this year! She was supposed to be a chaser!"

"And then Bartram figured out she was a good seeker, and gave her that position instead. You two were supposed to switch out, and you have been. Yumi won the Hufflepuff game for us, and it was a hard-earned victory. The only way you can say she doesn't deserve her position is if you missed the game and haven't actually seen her play. Yumi is an excellent seeker-"

"Of course you would say that, you're one of her best friends."

I took a moment not to let that make me angry and then took a deep breath. "Natalia, what is it about this that makes you so angry? I know you're mad, but you never seemed this dedicated to quidditch. It was more of a hobby for you. For the past six years, you've slacked on showing up to practice, and we only won half our games."

She sighed. "Quidditch is a hobby, yes, but it's- it's my family. I've been seeker since second year. It doesn't seem fair to have that position yanked out from under me."

"It's also not fair to everyone else in Ravenclaw who came after you that might have wanted that position," I pointed out. "But I see your point. If Bartram replaced me with another beater, I'd be pretty put-out too. Anyway, if you're this insistent on remaining seeker, then if Bartram agrees, we'll keep alternating you two for the spring season, and when we practice you two can compete as seekers. It doesn't have to be a competition. It can be a friendly rivalry during practice, and then during the game we have two seekers, in case something happens to one. Win-win for both of you. Bartram?"

The captain had stepped forward again. He smiled tiredly and nodded. "Sounds good. Thanks, Hazel."

We stood there for a few moments, talking about this or that, while the rest of the team assembled around us. Then Bartram stepped forward.

"We'll practice every other weekend until winter break, and then every chance we get through March, when the next season starts. We need to really crack down to get the House Cup this year. Hufflepuff we've beaten once, and Slytherin, but Gryffindor kicked us into the dirt and buried us. We aren't letting that happen again. Hazel, I need you to stop falling down stairs." A laugh rippled through the team. "Yumi, Natalia, I need the two of you to share tips on being seeker. Chasers, practice outside of school when you can. Idina, Ambrose, I know you two are from the same town, I expect you to be practicing when you can during the break. My other chaser, Lewis, see if you can practice over breaks. Go home with one of them, if you can. Preferably Ambrose, since Idina is with Newman. Newman, my other beater, don't let me down. I know Hazel is insanely good, but don't let her do all the work."

"I don't think anyone got hit by a bludger in the last game except for her, and me," Newman Boyd commented. I chuckled.

"That's true, but in two years she'll be gone, and you're a fourth year. We'll need you to pick up the slack. Train with her one on one if you can, listen to what she says."

It felt good to know my team had faith in my again; it had been a while since I felt this close to them, aside from the victory over Hufflepuff (Amos still hadn't spoken to me, though I had passed him in the halls a few times). Bartram went over the games we had won, and the game we lost, and then gave a brief pep talk before releasing us. Yumi and I started off together, a few paces ahead of the main group.

"Do you think she hates me?" Yumi asked.

"Who?"

"Natalia."

I glanced at her. "No. Natalia's many things, but she isn't hateful. She was upset because her position was being compromised. She felt it was unfair. Now we've talked it out, she should be fine."

Newman let out a whoop behind us and I turned around to see his brown eyes bright as he laughed and flew up to the sky. Idina followed and pulled him back down, and he laughed and then began chanting, " _Ra-ven-claw! Ra-ven-claw!"_

Warm affection blossomed in my chest, carrying me with the buoyancy of companionship back to the Great Hall. I had my quidditch team at my back again, supporting me openly. I had the Marauders, and I knew the dark secret they had been keeping- the sense that they trusted me filled me with a joy I couldn't explain. Cassi and I were on good terms. My teachers still approved of me. The other day with Lily, I had finally talked about everything, and it was good to have a friend who I could trust not to judge.

And to complete the warmth, I still tingled from Sirius's forehead kiss the night before.

It made me all the more eager for the Hogsmeade trip in two weeks.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Heartwrenching, grievous sobs shook him where he sat on the bench, his arms seeming to be the only thing holding him together. His dark hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days, and he looked like his whole world had shattered. He gave off the impression that the last thing he wanted was company, but I couldn't just leave him like that. It would be cruel to do so. I had never seen him so broken.

I stepped out and walked over to the secluded bench in its alcove on the second floor, farther back along the corridor. He looked up and then quickly away, seeming to try to hide that he was crying. I sat down next to him anyway.

"Go away, Ravenclaw."

"No. Not until you tell me what's wrong. I might be able to help."

"No one can help now."

Severus looked over, his dark eyes bleak. "I spotted Lily and James snogging. I knew she fancies him, but I never thought- I never thought she'd actually go for him. And now she's picked him, and they'll be together, I-" he sighed, hanging his head. "Never mind. You don't need to know, and you likely don't care to hear this anyway."

I gingerly set a hand on his upper arm. "I _do_ care, Severus. I know how you feel about her, whether you'll admit it to me or not, and it must be awful to see her with him."

He turned to me, eyes hollow. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

I wanted to hug him, but I didn't think he'd accept it. I instead searched for something to say to reassure him. I looked over at him. "Severus, it's not over until they're married. I don't know if encouraging you will spare you any pain, but I agree you would be a better match for her than James. You can't give up, Severus. Don't turn your back on her."

"I could never. It's deeper than just fancying her; she's my best friend. I… I've always wanted her, and she's the only person who ever seemed to want to give me a chance."

I wouldn't say it, but I briefly wondered if Lily Evans knew just how much heartache she caused just by existing. She was beautiful, smart, and sweet, and I wondered how much of that James saw, compared to Severus. Again, that was something I would never say aloud.

Severus let out a long sigh. "When we were younger, her little sister thought she was a freak, and I was there for her. I had never met someone so kind-hearted, someone who didn't judge me immediately. Then school started, and she was sorted into Gryffindor, and she met James Potter. It was obvious even in first year that he liked her. I was sorted into Slytherin, and I knew it would be hard to keep our friendship going, but she didn't let it stop her. And it didn't take me long to- to start caring for her more deeply. And now, after _six years_ , she picks him. After everything I've worked for, everything I've done, I'm never going to be good enough for her."

I frowned. "Maybe someone else, then..?"

He shook his head. "There's no one else. I've been set on her too long; I wouldn't know how to love someone else. Even if I tried, I- I would look for her in them." He sniffled. "When she isn't there, I would leave them, and it wouldn't be fair to anyone who would even give me a chance. Who would, anyway."

"Severus, there has to be some hope-"

"There isn't."

I blinked at him, trying to find some kind of encouragement. "All I can offer is my friendship. If you need anything, a friend, a shoulder to cry on- I know you aren't big on people, but I'm here for you if you need someone."

He looked over at me, with an emotion I couldn't read. "I want to say I appreciate the gesture, but I'm finding it hard to."

I shrugged, maintaining an unusual optimism. "You will someday. And I'll be here for you then. And until that day, I'm not letting you wallow in self-pity. Maybe for a little while, but not forever. So far, you've only seen them snogging."

"To Lily, that's a lot. She doesn't do stuff like that frivolously."

"It's still only snogging. Like I said, they aren't married, and we have no idea how this year will turn out."

"So, what, I'm supposed to keep trying for her while she falls in love with the boy who has made my life living hell?"

"That's exactly what you're supposed to do! If you really care for her, would you subject her to a life with that snob?"

"I suppose not."

"Exactly." I smiled optimistically. "C'mon, Severus- let's go do something _fun._ Sitting here sulking alone isn't going to help you."

"Why should we do something fun?"

"Because not doing something fun won't help you."

He nodded. "I suppose that's true enough. Fine, let's… Give it a try."

My eyes drooped almost closed as Professor Llewellyn taught a new lesson of arithmancy. Amos elbowed me sharply and I jolted up, glaring at him, and then sighed and jotted down the next few notes. I glanced at Severus and held down a grin; we had actually had fun last night, after his breakdown. The payoff would come up soon.

We had conjured three very specific potions: a beautification potion, a love potion, and an aging potion. The results would be hilarious.

After slogging through arithmancy, I teamed up with Severus and walked toward the Great Hall for lunch. Lily met us halfway there and looped her arm through Severus's, talking to him animatedly, and we reached the Great Hall to find a rather comical sight.

James Potter was being yelled at by McGonagall, but even better, he was old and haggard with wrinkles and a waist-length wispy white beard. _May have made that one a little too strong,_ I noted, and held in laughter as McGonagall stormed out with James. Once they were out of sight, Severus and I both burst out laughing, and Lily chuckled and then gaped at us.

"You didn't-"

I shrugged. "It was my idea. I just wanted to see what would happen."

"Hazel Drummond!"

I grinned. "You can't hold it against me, Lil- it was a harmless prank. He won't even get in trouble. He'll think it was Sirius, anyway- I left an envelope for James saying to give the drought of Felix Felicis to Sirius, and I knew James would drink it himself. And he did, to discover it wasn't Felix Felicis."

"You are evil," Lily said, but she was holding back laughter.

"Let's just see what the others do," I muttered, and then parted, going to my table. I sat down and Cassi greeted me with a brief glare. "What?"

She rolled her eyes, spearing a chicken breast. "You know what."

"I really don't..?"

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

She glared. "That you and Amos were together! You know I've fancied him for months, and then you go and- and steal him away!"

I smiled. "Cass, my darling Cassiopeia, why would I do that?"

"I don't know, but he was talking to you like you showed him the sun this morning."

"And you felt jealous about this?"

"Yes! He- I- no! I didn't feel jealous, I just- I don't even fancy him. Whatever. You can have him."

 _No, don't do that!_ "Cassi, do you like him or no? If you do, he's yours. He doesn't fancy me, I promise."

"Then why doesn't he talk about me like that?" She wilted.

"He does, Cass. He's not going to talk about you like that to your face. Maybe he was trying to make you jealous."

She sighed, looking down. "Why would he do that?"

"Cassiopeia Felicity Dale, do you fancy the boy or don't you?"

She glanced up from under her lashes, looking back down quickly. She mumbled, "I do."

I grinned. "Then go and tell him. Stop waiting around."

She sighed, and then stood. "You're right. I'll be back."

She strode off. I grinned after her; I can't believe that actually worked. Setting a temporary love potion on Amos when I knew he would be around her, so she would be jealous? Genius. Severus, I had to hand it to him, boy knew his stuff.

We had one more potion to see if actually worked.

After lunch, I started toward the library for my free period, only to be caught by Severus who, to my utter amazement, caught me in a quick hug. When he pulled back, he was _smiling._ I stared at him with wide eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?"

He smiled bigger, actually laughed. "Lily complimented me. She said I look nice today, and then asked if we were going to Hogsmeade together next Saturday."

I grinned. "That's great! And you said?"

"Yes, of course! I told her we had somewhere special to go. There's a trail through the woods I want her to see, and it's perfect to get away from the main crowd. She'll be so thrilled. Thank you, Hazel, _thank_ you!"

I just nodded. "I'm known for performing miracles, Sev. Get used to it."

"You got James out of the room, and did you see Lily's face when she saw him old? She looked disgusted, it was perfect."

"Severus, be nice."

He rolled his eyes, but grinned nonetheless. "I'll try. Thanks, Hazel! I have to go- bye!"

He all but ran off, and I just grinned after him, shaking my head, and then started toward the library. Upon reaching the door, I remembered I had plans with the Marauders and headed back that way. Here's hoping they aren't mad.

I reached the room, and Sirius stepped forward and bear-hugged me. I winced and then was set down and he grinned. "You, my friend, are a genius!"

I raised my eyebrows. "How so?"

"Don't act like you aren't responsible for that aging potion."

I shrugged, smirking. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Remus looked up from the map. "It was very sloppy, Hazel- had you gotten caught, you could get in a lot of trouble." But a grin spread his lips. "But as it stands, McGonagall very easily believed it was just him. He has detention, but he doesn't know it was you. Only Sirius and I do, and we won't tell him. He would simply _explode_."

I grinned. "Probably. What a sight that would be."

"So," Sirius began, sitting at the table, "What inspired you to use an aging potion on James?"

"S-" I stopped myself, thinking they wouldn't appreciate Severus drugging their best friend. "A friend of mine was sad, and I thought a good way to cheer them up would be harmless pranking. It worked, of course. Got their mind off their woes, and James has been in trouble before; besides, detention with McGonagall isn't that terrible."

They nodded in agreement, and we set to work on the map. After an hour or so of that, the door burst open and James Potter strode in fuming, and punched the stone wall. He shook his hand afterward, cursing, and then looked over at the rest of us. His short hair was in a scruffy mess and his cheeks were colored, but his hazel eyes dared us to judge him.

"What?" He demanded.

Sirius chuckled. "Regretting punching the wall, aren't you?"

"No." James looked sideways. "Maybe." He turned back. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing," Sirius answered, still grinning. "What's got you in such a dither?"

James collapsed into an armchair, his arms folded across his chest. "First, Lily's mad at me for getting detention and 'disrespecting McGonagall'. Then she's prancing down the hall with _Snape,_ fawning over him and asking if he did something different with his hair, and the fool's blushing and smiling and acting all bashful. I don't know what's gotten into them, any of them. McGonagall _knows_ I didn't make an aging potion. I don't know where it came from, I was as shocked as she was. She doesn't believe me." He huffed. "And now I have detention during quidditch practice."

A pang of guilt hit me and I glanced at Sirius, who was still grinning, and shook his head. "James, calm down," James' best friend advised. "You know it was probably just one of the first-years, and McGonagall won't keep you long. The woman cares more about quidditch than anything else in the world, except maybe our safety. As for Lily, she's been snogging _you_ , and Snape is her best friend. You know he doesn't really stand a chance with her, and even if he did, she's already indicated her feelings for you. If she sees you acting like a little pissy boy, _that_ will turn her away more than anything else."

James stared at Sirius with narrowed eyes for a long moment, and then turned to the wall. "Just let me seethe and fume for a little while."

"Okay, Monsieur Drama Queen," Sirius replied in a faux French accent. James rolled his eyes in response and glared at the wall, still hunched down in the chair with his arms folded. I grinned and saw Remus's eyes twinkling, though he held composure. Sirius was barely holding in his laughter, and as we sketched the fourth floor, tremors of laughter occasionally shook him. After twenty minutes, they stopped, as James finally came over to the table.

"Okay," James said, leaning over the table. "What are we working on now?"

"Fourth floor," Remus answered. "Hazel mapped out most of it a few days ago, or maybe a week, I don't remember. She's helping Sirius get the little details we need."

"When did she have time?"

Sirius shrugged. "Hazel does all kinds of stuff. She's pretty incredible."

I felt my cheeks warm some, but couldn't resist a cocky comment and a smirk. "About time you realized."

Sirius grinned back at me without looking up. "James, she's learning."

James rolled his eyes. "Lovely. Because another 'conceited, arrogant know-it-all' exactly what we need."

I was defensive until I saw the joking grin he had, and I let my mouth shut in a smile. "You can never have too many, especially if that one more is me."

"Eh, you're alright," James shrugged, still grinning, "For a _Ravenclaw."_

I kicked him under the table and he chuckled and sat down. We continued to work for a while, and I felt less guilty about the prank earlier. He'd pass it off as a first year and maybe someday, years from now, I would tell him the truth. Not yet, of course; right now, if I did, I'd be lucky to get out of here curse-free. He'd probably do something wicked, like use rictusempra and make me start laughing, or turn me into a ferret. I grinned at the thought and kept working.

That evening, I left the Room of Requirement late, and was almost caught sneaking back twice, mostly due to my lack of ferret form. I just didn't feel like taking the stairs as a ferret again, though going down was easier than up. I was more concerned my paws would slip on the stone, and as a ferret I was much more fragile. Reaching the Ravenclaw dorm without anything else happening, I laid down in my bunk and Cassi leaned over and looked at me.

"Where were you?" She whispered quietly.

"Sorry, Cass, secret project- the one I can't tell you about."

She pouted. "You're always out late. It would be nice to sit with you sometime and actually talk."

"You could've had me in Charms," I reminded her, teasing.

"I know." She sighed. "Sorry about that. Hey, can we hang out Hogsmeade?"

"I promised Sirius we'd hang out that day."

"You're always with Sirius. What about your best friend?"

"Tomorrow, okay? We'll go play wizard's chess and study and catch up."

"Alright, but if you don't show, I'm sneaking a love potion into your goblet."

I grinned. "You figured that out, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What did Amos say when you told him how you feel?"

"I didn't. I chickened out of it when he gave me that look, the hey-cutie smirk look. I just asked if he was going to be in the library during his free period, and then chickened out of showing up to that and made an excuse during dinner."

I sighed and shook my head. "Cass, you've got to _go_ for it. You like the boy, which is a lot, seeing as he's Hufflepuff. If you don't go with him to that Christmas party-"

"Oh, I will. I'm getting there."

I grinned. "You better. Goodnight, Cass."

"Goodnight, Hazel."

I rolled over to sleep; after five minutes or so, she was out, but I tossed and turned for another hour. I couldn't stop thinking about the Marauders and Snape and Lily and Amos and Cassi and Yumi and Bartram and Natalia and Mom and Dad and my owl (who I needed to go see more often) and Albion and Halloween and studying and Hogsmeade and Professor Harley and puffskeins and Professor Kettleburn and tea and...


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

The pitch roared with cheers and applause, except from (most of) the Slytherins, as a standing ovation was echoed from members of every house and the professors. The most intense quidditch match I had ever witnessed had just come to an end, with Gryffindor's seeker and Slytherin's flying side-to-side, matching in length and reach, hands centimeters from the snitch, until Gryffindor's had leapt from his broom, falling forward off of it, and grabbed the snitch. He fell a moment until he was caught by the united arms of twin-flying James and Sirius, who had met beneath the seeker, and James caught his broom and helped the seeker back onto it. After a close, tense match of two teams evenly-skilled, the edge-of-your-seat apprehension had come to a climatic head with the seeker's bold leap of faith.

Now, we all cheered- even Cassi, who had come to watch at Amos's request- and stood and clapped and whooped and hollered, while Gryffindor's team and house loudly chanted _Gryff-in-dor!_ and flew to the ground. The snitch was put back in its box, and they began to carry their seeker, who was ecstatic. The crowd didn't die down until much later. As we began to leave the stands, hurrying down the stairs, Yumi babbled enthusiastically about how she wished she could be brave enough to do something like that. I assured her that the Hufflepuff match put her on that level, but she denied it, saying that while Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff shared an equal rivalry, the Gryffindor-Slytherin match had been much more intense. I agreed, thinking ours had been less only because of how long it had dragged on. I was still sore from it.

We reached the Great Hall to eat and saw the Gryffindor table had been scoured of food but was vacant. I exchanged a glance with Yumi and Bartram, who both had the same knowing look that somewhere on the seventh floor, behind a portrait of a fat lady, Gryffindor house was partying _hard._ For a brief second, I almost wished I was a Gryffindor, just to enjoy that party. That thought made me wonder how good Sirius and I would be as a team of beaters, playing for the same house, but I couldn't see him in Ravenclaw colors any more than I could see myself in Gryffindor colors. Maybe after we graduate we could both go pro.

Cassi and I sat down and ate, and most of the Ravenclaw quidditch team sat together and discussed and debated the match. Surprisingly, Idina and Ambrose had both been rooting for Slytherin; the rest of us had been hoping Gryffindor would take the win, because if we lost House Cup to Gryffindor but scored above Slytherin, we would still be fine with that. Bartram was focused on the strategy of the game, but Yumi argued there wasn't so much _strategy_ in leaping from the broom and being caught by two teammates. Bartram declared that to be trust and began insisting Ravenclaw quidditch team throw more parties and spend more time together, to instill that kind of trust, so we would beat Gryffindor next time.

I left early from dinner and made my way to the Room of Requirement. After feeding Albion and finishing a moon chart for Harley, I practiced some of the non-verbal incantations we'd been learning, conjuring birds and then making them disappear again. Afterward, I wanted to try something. I exited the Room of Requirement and walked, thinking, _I need somewhere to practice defensive spells. I need somewhere private to practice defensive spells._ Normally, I just thought, _I need the room with the map and the dragon._ But this was different.

The door appeared and I walked in. Now, the room had dark matted floor that would be soft to land on, with mats against the walls. Shelves of spellbooks lined the walls and candles lined the room, as well as a peculiar white light filling it without being hazy or foggy. Mirrors lined one wall and a long floor runner indicated a dueling area in the center. Dummies were lined against one wall, seven of them, and I turned to them, trying to imagine one as a dementor.

 _Okay, Hazel, you can do this. If James Potter can cast a patronus, so can you._

I pointed my wand and focused. "Expecto patronum!"

Absolutely nothing happened.

I crossed my arms, trying to think. What could I do to make this happen? I scanned the shelves; books are useful, informative. Ah- there's one that should help: _Azkaban and its Defense._ I opened the book and skimmed through, ignoring the parts about Azkaban's purpose, the crimes that place one there, the original deal that brought dementors and the ministry to working together… There we go- _Section IX:_ _When Dementors Go Rogue._ Reading the section, I found exactly what I needed.

" _The only defense against a dementor is the patronus charm, a challenging but simple spell. Should one encounter a dementor away from Azkaban, all one has to do is cast this charm."_

I'm good at Charms. It's one of my best classes.

" _To cast a patronus, simply ready your wand and say, 'Expecto patronum.' The trick to casting a successful patronus is to think of a happy memory, something powerful that causes a true feeling of joy. Dementors are known to cause intense feelings of sorrow and hopelessness; in order to effectively combat this, the memory must be more powerful than the dementor's effects."_

Happy memory? Easy. Beating Hufflepuff.

"Expecto patronum!"

A slight flicker, and then nothing.

I sighed. Something more powerful, then. Beginning to pace, I racked my brain for a better memory; to my surprise, that night in the astronomy tower with Sirius, looking at the different constellations, came to mind. I hadn't been particularly ecstatic at the time, but… It was a pleasant memory, something untainted. But what if I chose it, and then something happens to Sirius, or he and I drift apart? The memory would lose its power.

 _This is just to test it,_ I reminded myself. _To begin casting a patronus. I'll find something else later._

I stood and placed the book, still open, on the shelf. I faced the dummy again, holding out my wand and narrowing my eyes. Mentally, I focused on that night, and let the warm feeling with it fill me, the peacefulness of that night, the closeness…

"Expecto Patronum!"

A large, ethereal white cone emitted from my wand tip, extending toward the dummy. I held it for a few long moments, and then released it, gasping. "Challenging" was the right word for that, to put it lightly. How did James learn to do this? He and the other Marauders were extraordinarily brilliant, more so than I had previously let myself believe. They were all animagi, and at least James could cast a patronus, the others probably, too. I wouldn't be surprised if Remus had taught him. Maybe James had somewhat of a reason for his arrogance. I still disapproved of the level to which his arrogance extended, but he was truly talented.

But a point of curiosity still probed at me. I needed something _powerful._ For a long moment, I just thought; what was something powerful, a memory that filled me with untainted joy? Being sorted into Ravenclaw? Being named Beater? Spending time with friends or loved ones? Midnight adventures? Acceptance? Praise? Being in the Slug Club? Acing my exams? None of it seemed strong enough. Receiving my Hogwarts letter? Powerful, but not enough for this. Pranking James Potter? Funny, but not pure joy.

I thought long and hard for nearly half an hour, trying different memories now and then- they made it easier to cast the cone, but that wasn't my goal.

Finally, the most obvious memory slapped me in the face- literally, I stumbled while pacing and my face hit the floor. I stood and pointed my wand forward, focusing. Mentally, I retreated back.

 _The great doors opened. The brown-haired girl Cassi gasped; I bent down and caught the toad and returned it to Yumi, the other girl from the train, and then felt students shuffling around me. I hurried forward, and then finally looked up._

 _Before me was a large, great room with tables longer than the apartment I lived in stacked with a wealth of food. Candles hovered in the air, magically suspended, and braziers lined the walls, casting the entire room with a divine golden light. At the end of the room, behind a podium, stood a tall, gray-haired man in dark blue robes with such a powerful aura that I knew at once I saw Albus Dumbledore. A golden owl unfurled along the front of the podium, spreading its wings, and in front of it was a chair with a dark brown floppy hat._

 _I knew as soon as I walked into the door that I was home. Hogwarts was home._

"Expecto patronum!" I bellowed, feeling the memory fill me completely with light and warmth and lift my heart. From the end of my wand, the light came again, this time with the white silhouette of a creature. The patronus light pulsated around it as the creature stepped forward, sniffing.

A large, wolf-like dog.

I sat up for hours after that.

It had to be some kind of sign, but I couldn't wrap my head around it. The astronomy tower roof did little to help me, and I felt as if the Dog Star was staring at me, anticipating my next move. A long sigh breathed through me.

What were the odds that the _exact_ shape Sirius turns into would be my patronus? Not an owl, not a ferret, not even a raven, which would be fitting- luckily, not a tree, though I don't think that can happen. Not some wise creature, or otherwise some hard-working animal, but a _dog._ I had no problem with dogs; they could be keen, loving, loyal, friendly, adventurous, and many other good qualities. I just didn't see how that patronus fit _me._ I blamed Sirius completely for this. Somehow, it had to be his fault.

I flew back to the balcony of the astronomy tower and put my broom up and then stood there for a moment. I cast the patronus again, and more closely observed the shape. The dog was a little bit smaller than Sirius's dog shape, from what I remembered, and had a somewhat more feminine shape. _Oh lovely, it's a bitch._

Withdrawing parchment from my pocket, I wrote for Sirius to meet me in the Room of Requirement, and then folded it into a paper airplane and sent it on its way. As the paper flew off, I uncast the patronus and made my way to the Room, grumbling under my breath the whole way. Upon reaching it, I found the door already there- he must have made it here before me. _Or there's another emergency._

I opened the door quickly and stepped in to see Remus, up late, sitting at the table with a book in his hands.

"Remus," I greeted him. He nodded tiredly, and I stepped forward a few paces. "What are you doing in here this late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he pointed out, and then yawned. "I couldn't sleep, and there are second-year girls gossiping in the common room. I couldn't focus to read, and Sirius and James both kept telling me to put out the light and go to bed. So I came here."

I nodded and sat down at the table. "Do you mind if I interrupt your reading, just for a moment?"

He marked his page, finishing his paragraph, and then set down the book. "What do you need?"

I paused, trying to figure out how to explain this. "I've heard that your patronus represents, in part, who you are as a person. Is that true, do you think?"

He quirked his mouth to the side, and then clasped his hands. "What do you think? Does James resemble a stag in any way?"

"No," I scoffed, and then tilted my head in thought. "And yes. Stags are supposed to be… Noble, strong. Those two characteristics, James definitely shares, at times. They can also be aggressive, and proud. Again, James."

"And Sirius's is a dog. What about that?"

So he _can_ cast one. "Sirius is loyal, to a fault even, and brave. He has a talent for learning, as well as an instinct to protect, I think, and he's quick when he needs to be. All dog-like." I grinned. "He can be kind of messy or otherwise smelly," Remus grinned as well, "And territorial. Dog-like. I can see that."

Remus nodded. "So then, one more for you: Am I wolf-like?"

Rather than think out loud, on this one I kept my thoughts silent for a long moment, staring at Remus. I knew he was asking for the sake of helping me figure this out, in his teacherly way, but I could also see the tender wariness in his eyes, and how much he despised that part of himself. If I said yes, he would be crushed; but if I let that sway my thought process, then I won't get the answer I seek.

I let my mind linger on the qualities one associates with wolves: loyal, but dangerous; free, but threatened; a hunter, but hunted; only seeking one mate; traveling in a pack… I didn't know Remus to have been in love with anyone. He was always with the Marauders. He lived in constant fear of someone discovering his "condition." He was excellent at defensive spells… But was I looking for similarities? I could also argue he was fish-like, in that… No, no I couldn't. Maybe owl-like with how he never slept, or bear-like in his fierce protectiveness (I still remembered that night in the woods when we first encountered the troll and he threw me against a tree), but none of those creatures shared such a strong similarity. Not to mention when separate from his pack, Remus was often more of a lone wolf.

But how do I tell him that? I stared, letting out a quiet, frustrated huff. "Not really, but in some ways." His eyes turned hollow, and he looked down. "But not in the monstrous ways." He glanced up, his scarred face masked. I continued, "Wolves have long been associated with darkness and violence and aggression, but we're past that point. It was more folklore than actual disregard for the creature. Wolves are loyal, strong, fiercely protective, have a pack-mentality."

"Wolves are beasts," Remus remarked bitterly. "Wolves have been a plague on the world for centuries. There's a reason they're hunted."

"Stags are hunted, too," I argued. "Some would argue that a stag is useless for anything but meat. Pretty to look at, but useless. Would you say that of James?"

He didn't reply.

I carried on. "Dogs are filthy creatures, more of them of low intelligence than high, and when left alone too long go mad and become aggressive creatures that would kill a child without a thought. Would you say that of Sirius?"

He sighed. "No."

"Then why would you dwell on the negatives of your own patronus?"

"Because it's a wolf!" He finally exclaimed, and then put his hands over his face. "I'm a werewolf, Hazel- the last thing I want is to be reminded every time I encounter a dementor that I'm a monster who would kill my friends if they weren't selfless enough to mutate themselves so I can have a little tiny fraction of peace. I've caused my parents grief enough, my muggle mother trying everything she could to learn more of magic and 'cure' me. There's no hope for this, and I hate being reminded of it, I hate seeing the shock and hatred on people's faces, I hate _being_ this way." He paused, removing his hands and laying them flat on the table. He stared in between them. "And having my patronus represent the one thing that has ruined my entire life and will continue to do so until I die, well, that- that kills whatever happy memory created the patronus."

I was silent for a long moment. I didn't know what to tell him. Instead of speaking, while I searched for words, I reached forward and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. It wasn't a romantic gesture; Remus needed a friend, he needed something to hold onto, a rock in the stormy seas clouding his mind.

"Remus…" I paused again, making sure I would say what I meant. "Remus, you are an incredible person. You are brave, loyal, intelligent, and afflicted with a condition that has not stopped you at all from pursuing your goals and continuing to be the person you seek to be. You've been an excellent friend to the other Marauders, and I highly doubt it was James or Sirius's idea to let Peter join the group. You have a good heart, Remus; underneath the pain and strife, there is purity and love. And even on the outside, your friends and parents are also striving to get love into there and let you feel it. You love your friends, I have seen it, and you're a good, decent person. That night in the woods with the troll, that day with the dog- both times you've proved yourself the kind of person to put himself between danger and anyone else, using what skill you have and your own fragile body to save them. I know the whole self-hatred thing can cause some recklessness, some sense of being less important than others, that their lives are worth more than yours, but Remus- your life is worth so much. You have been a positive impact on your friends, your fellow students, your whole house. Can't you see that?"

He stared, and sighed, and I saw something break inside him. Not in a negative way; his eyes shone, the surface reflective with unspilled tears, and he nodded once.

The door to the room burst open and I withdrew my hand quickly, turning to see Sirius step in. "Got your let- oh! Hi, Remus. This is where you ran off to."

"Why did you invite Sirius here?" Remus asked, and that's when I remembered I never got to the point of my questions earlier. I looked over at him.

"I'll explain later. Would you mind giving Sirius and I a moment alone? I need to ask him something; it's personal, but I'll likely tell you later anyway." Sirius and Remus both looked at me as if I had sprouted an extra pair of arms and I sighed. "It's not bad! It's just something I need to talk to Sirius about."

Remus held up his hands, mouthed _okay_ , and stood. I smiled.

"Thanks, Remus. There's an unoccupied classroom along the next corridor down from this one, second door on the right."

He nodded and walked out, and I stood as Sirius walked over. He gave me a sideways look, as if attempting to measure the intensity of what I was going to say. "What's this about?" He inquired. "Have you and Remus eloped, or..?"

I shook my head. "No, definitely not. Remus is- is great, but no."

"You two were holding hands."

"I was comforting him."

"Why?"

I blinked at Sirius. "He was being down on himself about the whole werewolf thing. I didn't know he was in here when I sent you that note."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, and then nodded and sat down, happy-go-lucky once more, with his usual positive, cheery attitude. "Alright then. What did you need?"

I wanted to sit, but I wanted to stand, and I wanted to talk, and I wanted to run. I had no idea what I wanted except for wanting my brain to calm down and let me make a decision. With some uncertainty and awkwardness, I sat back down in the chair. Sirius propped his feet on the table and crossed his ankles; I sighed. "Sirius, can you please be a little more…" I was going to say serious, but stopped myself. "Er, a little less- informal?"

"Is this a date?"

"No! Nothing like- well, I- no. I just, it's important."

He chuckled and dropped his legs, and then scooted forward some and looked at me with raised eyebrows and a straight mouth. "Yes, my liege?"

"Did James hex you or something? You're acting… Odd."

He shook his head, and then shook it again. "No, I- I'm sorry. I was just, erm, excited to see you. You don't usually reach out to spend time with me."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Now then, seriously, what did you need?"

I took a deep breath. "Ever since I learned James could cast a patronus, I've wanted to learn. Call me competitive, but if he could do it, so could I." I paused, trying to think about how to word it. "I- um, I decided to practice it tonight." I glanced at Sirius to gauge his expression; he nodded intently, as if to indicate he was still listening, but I could see him losing patience for me to get to the point. I cleared my throat; _alright, Hazel, stop pissing around and get to the point._ "It took a few tries, but after an hour, I could make a corporeal patronus- the animal shape."

"And it was a ferret."

"No, actually," I let out a small laugh, but it rang hollow. I met his eyes, my eyebrows raised some. "It… It was a dog."

He cocked his head to the side, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Really?"

I nodded. "Um… I've seen you once in dog form, but it was before I knew you were an animagus. I realized later that the black dog I had seen in the corridor was you. My animagus looks almost just like it- well, just like you."

He stared at me for a long moment, uncertainty and some disbelief in his expression. After a few more heartbeats, he said, "Show me."

"Okay."

I stood and dwelled on that happy memory again, feeling nervous with Sirius there. Pausing, I let the memory do its job, and he remarked, "You know, a dementor isn't going to wait for you to get prepared."

I looked at him. "I know, I just- it's still new to me."

He shrugged and I looked forward again, focusing on a spot on the wall. I let the first time I walked into Hogwarts come back into my mind, and then cast the spell. The same dog appeared.

Sirius was staring slack-jawed. He snapped his jaw shut and then stood and cast his own patronus. A very similar, more masculine shaped dog stepped forward. The two patroni circled each other, sniffing at the other, and then mine sat down. His trotted forward and sat down next to it.

I glanced at Sirius, and then waved my wand, the patronus disappearing. He cleared his throat. "So that just happened."

I nodded once, stashing my wand again. "It did. Sirius, I'm not dog-like, am I?"

He smiled. "Would something be wrong with that if you were?"

I shook my head, a small, nervous smile appearing. "No, I just- I didn't see that happening. I figured, if anything, it'd be a ferret. Not a dog. I don't- I can't see myself as dog-like."

"I can," he walked over to me, looking at my closely, and leaned closer so that his face close to mine. When he spoke, warm breath just barely tickled my cheeks. "You're brave; you proved that in the forest, and with the three-headed dog. You're intelligent. You're loyal to your friends, but you don't just follow blindly; some dogs are like that. You're friendly, and not afraid to talk to people who don't quite seem open to you. You have a good sense of humor, and you do things sometimes that people find funny. And don't you dare think I'm going to make some remark about the connotation between the dog bitch and the insult bitch; that isn't you, and don't think it."

I felt warmth spread across my cheeks and knew I was blushing. He grinned.

"You're blushing."

"No I'm not." Denying it only made my cheeks grow hotter.

"Yes, you are!"

"No. I just- it's warm in here."

"It wasn't warm in here a few minutes ago."

I tried to argue, and then to turn away, but he caught me around the sides, chuckling, and I squirmed out of his hold and leapt to a few feet away. I held up my hands, trying to keep him at bay, and he gave me a challenging look and playful grin. _Dammit, what did I start?_

He started forward and dodged to the side as he reached for me, and then he jumped and tackled me, moving as we fell so that I would be partially on top of him and he would take the brunt of the fall. I rolled so that I was completely over him and then straddled him, pinning his arms to the ground. "Ha! I win!"

A voice suddenly appeared at the door opened- "Sorry to interrupt, I left my notebook- oh."

I looked up to see Remus staring at the two of us in shock and then glanced at myself and leapt up. Sirius and I both tried to explain ourselves at the same time.

"It's not what you think, I promise-"

"We were wrestling-"

"He tackled me-"

"She pinned me-"

"I-"

"Sorry."

Remus grinned. "You two are the biggest flirts, I swear."

I put on an expression of offense. "I do not _flirt!_ Remus Lupin, I have not been flirting with Sirius-"

"Yes, you have," Sirius said, and I glared at him, wide-eyed.

"Sirius!" I huffed, calming my expression. "Well if I'm flirting, it's subconscious and because he flirted first."

"Whatever. You're in love."

"Are not!"

"Are too!" Remus strode out, leaving Sirius and I in there alone.

I met his grey gaze. Had we really been _flirting?_ I didn't see it. We talked, sure, and spent a lot of time together, and there was that time he pinned me to the wall outside of Ravenclaw common room… My mind conjured images of what might have happened if Cassi hadn't stepped out and I cursed my stupid hormones and then cleared my throat.

"Anyway, I suppose that's all I needed to talk about. When I saw the dog, I thought immediately of you, and… Well, I thought it was strange that my patronus was so similar to your animagus shape."

He shrugged. "Maybe it's _fate._ You're into all that divination jazz, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's tea leaves and crystal balls, not representations of one's soul."

He chuckled. "You didn't deny it being fate."

"It's not. There, I denied it."

"Too late!"

"No- Sirius."

"Nope, too late. It's fate now. Deal sealed."

I rolled my eyes at him, grinning, and then after a little more conversation started back toward the Ravenclaw common room. He walked with me there, and we paused outside the door. He looked down at me with a more serious expression, and tentatively raised a hand and then dropped it.

"Hazel, can I ask you a question? It's… Personal, I suppose."

"That depends on the question. Ask, and I may or may not answer."

He stared at me closely. "What memory did you choose?"

I glanced at the window. "At first, I- well, the first memory to successfully cast a non-corporeal patronus was the memory of us talking in the astronomy tower. The memory that cast the dog was the first time I walked into Hogwarts."

An unexpectedly genuine, blissful smile crossed his face. He let out a short, surprised laugh.

"What?" I asked.

He cleared his throat.

"That's the same memory I think of."

 **A/N:** You know, I had a dream about updating this story. It's to that point.

And here we have our long-ass twentieth chapter! Hazel can cast a patronus, and it's in the same shape as Sirius's. Thoughts?

I've actually written through to Chapter 32, it's just a lot of work to post thirteen chapters in one night, so I'm not worried about it just yet. Just know, shit gets _intense._ Oh my gosh, Hazel gets put through a lot. I mean, I've written through the Christmas parties- in part due to my inner determination to write them before actual Christmas.

Anyhow, winter break ends tomorrow, so I might be a little slower on the updates but I'll try to keep them coming. And you lot keep the reviews coming, yeah? Okay.

Thanks for reading, please don't forget to follow/fave if you haven't. I've had far too many views on this story to not have so many. Next update coming up in the next few days, maybe tomorrow.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

The next couple of days passed without incidence. Severus and I actually _talked_ like friends do, and Slughorn officially admitted me into the Slug Club- by which I mean he stated I was a member and as such should be proficient at making a certain potion. Cassi finally spilled all the details of her and Amos; she said he had been dropping hints left and right, as had she, that he thought they should be a couple. She stated her jealousy over thinking he wanted me, and said it had propelled her toward actually being serious about him. She said she had the strangest feeling they should be a couple. That same evening, working on Divination homework at a table with Xeno and Pandora, while Bartram and Natalia sat at the end of the table playing chess, Xeno looked up at Pandora and simply asked if he could see her over winter break, because he was in love with her and wished to meet her family. Pandora, as eccentric as he is, agreed on the terms she gets to meet his family as well, because she's madly in love with him too. So that happened.

Saturday morning arrived like a gift-wrapped paradise.

We wouldn't leave for Hogsmeade until noon due to the weather, Cassi told me when I first woke up at seven, and I was able to sleep in. I woke at a quarter past ten, and rose from my slumber rejuvenated. Journeying to the bathroom, I bathed quickly, washing my hair, and then cast exaresco to dry off. It was a sunny day, unusually warm for October, and I dressed in a short-sleeved, oversized gray Rolling Stones shirt with a wide collar (almost a one-shoulder), and black pants. After lacing up black oxford heels I rarely wore, I brushed my hair out and did a small touch of makeup, something I rarely did. I glanced at my reflection; my dark gold hair was a thick, voluminous mess, but it actually looked alright for once. The touch of makeup around my hazel eyes made them pop some, though against my usually tan skin they didn't stand out much. I decided it was good enough and left the lavatory, heading back to where Cassi was in the courtyard. She was dressed in a beige and black polka dot button-down with a pleated beige skirt and ankle-high black granny boots. Her curly hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, falling in curls just past her neck, and she wore pink lipgloss I was sure would touch Amos's lips.

"Don't you look cute," I greeted her. She smiled and looked down at herself.

"Do I?"

"Yes. Amos is going to love you."

She grinned, and then looked at me. "Why are you dressed like Mick Jagger?"

I checked myself. "If this is how Mick Jagger dresses, then he's more fashionable than I gave him credit for."

"It isn't how he dresses, but it would be if he were a teenage girl."

I grinned. "Well, then, I'm fashionable teenage girl Mick Jagger, and I have to find Sirius soon."

Cassi grabbed my arm. "Wait, no, don't go yet. At least let Amos get here."

A few minutes passed and it was time to go; neither of the boys had shown up. As Cassi and I headed to the village, we chatted idly, just enjoying each other's company. She commented once on how weird it was that I seemed almost dressed-up for Sirius; she knew he and I were supposed to be spending most of the day together, and no matter how much I claimed it wasn't a date, that was still what she called it. _Was it a date? Remus did think we were flirting. It's not a date. No._

I reached the village and spotted the familiar ebony waves of hair through the crowd, and then as we passed the edge of a hill and started downhill, I saw him laughing with James and Lily and _Vanica._ Dammit. Not her again. Cassi saw the look I had and followed my gaze; she grinned at me.

"Are you _jealous?"_

I shook my head. "No. I'm not 'jealous', I'm just mad at Sirius. He made plans with me and then he's- he's over there."

She raised her eyebrows, and then turned forward again, sighing, "Jealous!"

I grinned and elbowed her. "C'mon, let's go wait for your beau."

We paused outside of the village at the edge and waited; after a few minutes, the Hufflepuffs reached us, tailed by Slytherins. Amos broke from the crowd and jogged over with an enthusiastic grin. Cassi smiled back, and Amos barely shuffled to a halt in time. It was weird to see him out of school clothes; the dork was wearing a tight, dark gold button-down tucked into dark blue jeans. I held down my smile and cleared my throat.

"Cassi, could I borrow Amos for just a second? Have to, um, lay down the best friend advice."

She laughed and agreed, and I grabbed him and tugged him around the corner and halfway down the wall of the building. I turned to him.

"Amos, let me help you." I pulled his shirt out of his pants and smoothed it out, and then tugged his pants down some.

"But now the bottom of the shirt is wrinkled!"

"Just barely! Trust me, it's better this way. You're very slender, so the shirt looks incredibly baggy, and odd, tucked in. Plus your pants were, um, pulled in a way that they outlined something."

"Oh."

I nodded. "Okay! Best friend time." I tried to kill the awkwardness and lay out some very simple rules, and then stopped when I saw Sirius's head poke around the corner. He grinned as I stared over Amos's shoulder, and then he strode forward. Amos turned at the footsteps, and then greeted Sirius with considerable civility.

"Hey! You two snogging?"

I gaped. "Sirius, he's here on a date with Cassi. I was fixing his shirt and giving him the best friend talk."

Sirius grinned. "Don't let me interrupt, go on and finish. I'd like to hear this."

I paused, and then said, "Fine." I turned to Amos. "Keep your hands out of her skirt. You can touch her sides or shoulders or arms or back if she gives you permission, and you can touch her face or hair if she gives you permission or seems to want that, but if she doesn't want to or tells you to stop, you respect that, or you get magically castrated. If you think I'm fierce on the quidditch field, you haven't seen me angry. It'll be more than an accidental bludger tossed your way."

He laughed, but had a soft glint of fear in his eyes that I recognized from the last couple of guys to date Cassi. "Oh, okay. Alright. I, um, I'll be perfectly respectful."

"See that you do. Now then, go free."

I clapped his back and pushed him toward Cassi, and then turned to Sirius. "Okay. Just the two of us, then."

He stepped forward, grinning at me still. "You are the most intimidating Ravenclaw I've ever met, and I kind of love it."

"I'm not intimidating. I'm just able to intimidate."

He raised his eyebrows. "That's not what Amos Diggory, secret lover of Hazel Drummond and future boyfriend of Hazel's best friend, thinks."

I punched him in the stomach. "Sirius Black, you are the most drama-happy gossip-monger I've ever met."

He stepped closer, now inches away. "You promise?"

I grinned. "No."

He chuckled in a deep pitch and ran a hand through his hair, a strangely masculine thing, and I almost wanted to throw him against the wall and snog him right there. I could smell the rain and pine scent again, and it was… Alluring.

I stepped back with impeccable power of will, and then forced a bright smile. "Alright, then. Where to first?"

"Zonko's, of course!"

By mid-afternoon, we had pranked multiple people in the village. When I asked, Sirius informed me that James was on a date with Lily (Severus was ill- physically and figuratively), Remus had stayed behind to study, Peter preferred to sleep rather than go to Hogsmeade, and therefore he was "all mine" for the day. We hung out like good friends; play-fighting, arguing about little things, pranking James and Lily, hiding, discussing all the wonderful things we could do with merchandise from Zonko's, and, now, enjoying butterbeers together at the Three Broomsticks.

"So then James hops on his broom and flies off, screaming that McGonagall would kill him if she caught him so she was never going to catch him. She was furious when he landed, I thought she really might kill him. But he only got a month of detentions, and alongside that a position as keeper for his ability to dodge the spells she hurled to stop him from continuing to fly off."

I chuckled. "And that's how he got involved in quidditch?"

"That's it. And I tried out because he did, and our captain liked me enough, so I stayed in."

I chuckled. "Cassi is truly indifferent about quidditch. I don't know anyone else so immune to the sport, and it's strange that we're best friends, considering that. Just before the term began, she was convincing me not to take divination because she thought it wouldn't be beneficial to my future career as a pro beater. A lot has changed since then."

The last part sobered me some, and I could see it on Sirius's face as well. His head tilted some as a sudden smile sprung on his lips. "Yeah; back then, we weren't friends."

I smiled. "And I'm glad that changed."

"Strange to think Remus thought we flirt all the time," Sirius commented, "Isn't it?"

I chewed the inside of my lip for a second and forced the smile to remain. "Yeah. It would be mad to think we flirt, wouldn't it?"

"Exactly."

We both sat in awkward silence for a moment, drinking our butterbeers, and I coughed once. I pretended not to know why it bothered me so much to think he didn't flirt with me. Maybe I knew before he said that it would be strange; maybe I had been fooling myself. That's all it was- a fool's hope. Right?

We continued to talk for a few more minutes, but we could both feel that it was awkward, and Sirius excused himself to go talk to a few Gryffindors sitting at one of the booths. Yumi then swept up and sat next to me, her beige cheeks reddened and dark eyes bright. She ran a hand through her bangs, grinning.

"What?" I asked her, and she giggled.

"I think- um- I- Bartram and I-"

I turned to face her, a small anticipatory smile taking place on my lips. "You think what?"

She blushed deeper, glanced around, and leaned close. "We were just walking and talking, and the rest of the team had gotten a little further behind us, and we started talking about quidditch and then our owls and then he- um- we were standing really close, and I had just noticed we stopped walking and then I saw the look he had, and- well, then we were snogging."

 _Guess I was wrong about him and Natalia Abbot. And he's actually not into me anymore, which is relieving. God, he better not have done that to make me jealous, I'll send a bludger his way if he did._ "Really!?" I nodded once. "I knew you two were getting closer, but that's still surprising. I didn't even know you fancied him."

She shrugged, leaning back. "I don't, really, but he's still worth considering- who is that?"

I glanced behind me. "Who?"

"In the booth, there," she said, nodding in the same direction. I looked again, and this time saw a tall dark fellow I had never seen before. I shrugged.

"I'm not sure. If you'd like, I'll go ask."

But in the same moment, he happened to glance up and his eyes met Yumi. A grin crossed his face and she excused herself, heading over to him. I shrugged and turned back to my butterbeer, still waiting for Sirius to return.

After half an hour, Sirius still hadn't returned, and I simply left. In the town, I saw Lily and James prance by, saw Severus bitterly watching from a bench, saw Xeno and Pandora snogging, and then spotted Amos and Cassi just returning from the trail to the forest. I flounced over to them and fell in step next to Cassi.

"Hi, you two," I greeted them. "Has was your forest excursion?"

Cassi turned bright red; I grinned. They definitely snogged a _lot._ Amos cleared his throat. "It was- wonderful."

"Amos got us lost."

"Did not."

"Did, too. If not for me noticing that boulder as the same we first passed, we'd still be lost in the woods."

Amos gave her an argumentative glare, and then ceded to her. I laughed and said I'd see them at dinner, and then started heading out of the village. As I reached the edge, the path back, someone caught my wrist and said, "Hazel! I've been looking for you."

I turned around in surprise to see Sirius. "Really?"

"Yes. We had plans, didn't we?"

I glanced behind him. "I thought we were done."

I realized after I said it that it could have been intended in multiple ways, and I saw that meaning skip past Sirius without him even glancing at it. "I was only talking to them for a moment-"

"It was half an hour, Sirius. I was going to head back and study, and leave you to it."

He shrugged. "If that's what you want."

But I had a feeling if I left now, things wouldn't be the same. But then, it was already too late, wasn't it? "Yeah. Sure. Bye, Sirius."

"Bye, Hazel. I'll see you back at the castle tonight, then. We're meeting in the Room of Requirement."

"Okay."

I started off down the path, subconsciously trusting that nothing would occur because of my early leave.

And, of course, that night the Great Hall was abuzz with two rumors:

That Sirius and I had gone on a date, and that Sirius and I had gone on a date the same day Priscilla Aldridge became his girlfriend.

Naturally, I was pissed.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sirius had multiple girlfriends in the week preceding Hallowe'en- Priscilla Aldridge, Rebecca Carmen, Jessamine Vann, and even the more reserved Cheryl Grier. He couldn't understand for the life of him why I was mad about it in Charms, and I didn't bother to explain myself to him. I figured if he felt the same way as I did about it, there wouldn't even be a problem, or the awkwardness that now plagued us.

My dorm-mates, on the other hand, couldn't be happier with their love lives.

Cassi and Amos were officially together; she told me she loves him and just has a feeling it'll last. She's been thinking of baby names for a week; she's settled on Cedric for a boy and Gemma for a girl. They've met between every class to hold hands and snog in whatever corner they could find.

Pandora finally sat down with us one night and divulged the details of her and Xeno. She described him as "perfectly eccentric, a gentleman of enough flare and oddity to match her own." She said she had been in love with him since she first met him and had always known they would be together, but was still shocked to see he actually cared for her without her having to use a love potion.

Yumi had also found her soul-mate. That day in the Three Broomsticks, she had met the son of one Zonko's employees, someone who had graduated from Hogwarts last year, a young and put-together handsome fellow named Adonis Chang. He currently played professional quidditch while training to work for the ministry, and had fallen for her the moment he saw her.

So they were all too lovestruck to notice poor Hazel Drummond's woes. Not to mention I didn't speak of it, because that would mean letting Sirius win and know he got to me.

Halloween came around and Slughorn was planning a party after the typical feast; I told him I had already promised the quidditch team they would have me that night, and Lily said she was sick the day of. Severus would still be going to keep up appearances. Once I had at least tasted the dessert, I left the Ravenclaw table early and ventured to the Room of Requirement. Once within, I went straight to Albion.

"Hello, friend," I greeted the dragon, already taller than me. "You've grown so much."

"That he has," Remus said, walking in. "I'm going to miss this fellow."

I smiled sadly, petting the dragon's muzzle as he cooed softly at me. "Me, too. Sorry, Albion; perhaps I'll see you again someday."

"He'll be wild by then," Remus commented, and I shrugged, walking away from the dragon after feeding him. I sat down on the table next to where Remus stood.

"Any sign of Lily yet?"

He shook his head, finishing off a strawberry tart. "Not yet." He glanced at the door. "Which reminds me, I've been meaning to speak with you in private, but haven't gotten a chance yet."

I raised my eyebrows, angling myself more toward him. "What is it?"

His hand found my arm. "The last time we talked alone, things got a bit weighty. I wanted to say thank you; I wish I could say I completely believed your words, but I can say they helped. It's nice to know I have someone who just… Accepts me."

I stood without thought and hugged him, wrapping my arms all the way around his lithe form (which gave me a brief flashback of that time I healed his side and accidentally checked him out, but now wasn't the time to think about that). Squeezing him tightly and feeling his heart beating inside his chest, I buried my face in him, catching a whiff of soap, parchment, and chocolate, Remus's scent. His arms wrapped gingerly around me as well, and then tightened as he embraced me with surprising strength. There was nothing romantic about the hug; it was purely a display of a growing friendship that had given Remus a person he could feel wouldn't judge him.

The door opened and Lily walked in and _ooh_ ed. "You two? I never would have guessed!"

Remus and I parted, both making hasty remarks about it not being that way, but Lily just grinned and shrugged.

"If you say so. So, how are we getting Albion out?"

"The Room of Requirement is going to help us," Remus said. At a thought from him, a very large fireplace showed up. "Floo network."

"Smart," Lily approved. "But where will we take him?"

Remus grinned. "To the Potters' house, of course."

Ten minutes later, I was brushing dust off my shoulder and standing in an exquisite living room with Remus, Lily, and Albion, while Fleamont and Euphemia Potter stared the three of us down with dropped jaws and wide eyes and hastily-donned bedclothes.

"I'm Remus Lupin, a close friend of your son, and this is Lily Evans, his almost-girlfriend, and Hazel Drummond, our close friend, and Albion, an orphaned dragon we rescued from the forest."

The pair continued to stare a moment longer, and then Fleamont started back up the stairs, saying, "I'm going back to bed."

"Oh, no you aren't!" Euphemia said, snatching him back down by the back of his robe. She crossed the room to us, adjusting the half-moon glasses resting on her face. "I suppose you three aren't planning to keep your dragon friend here, are you? You'll be needing to get back to Hogwarts soon."

"Oh, no," Remus said, "We just need your help apparating him to Ukraine. It's where his species originates, you see."

She nodded once. "I see. Well, James will hear about this-"

"It really wasn't his plan," Lily said. "Also, it's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Potter."

"Likewise, Miss Lily," Euphemia replied with a surprisingly warm smile, and then turned back to Remus. "His plan or not, I'm sure he needs to be yelled at about something, and you've given me a reason. Now, then- _Fleamont! Get back downstairs and stop trying to run off!-_ I'll only take one of you and the dragon. More than that might cause injury."

"Hazel," Remus said, and I stepped forward as he added, "She found the dragon and raised him and took care of him. She's our Care of Magical Creatures expert."

Euphemia raised her eyebrows. "And the other two of you?"

"Ma'am?"

"What are you good for?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Remus answered, "And dark humor."

"Nothing, really," Lily said, "Maybe compassion."

"She's an expert at potions, proficient at Defense Against the Dark Arts, and she's one of the few people James listens to. She can keep him more level-headed than any other girl I've met," I added for her. Euphemia nodded approvingly.

"Alright. I can approve of that. Now, then."

I expected her to add on to that, but she really just meant _now_ -

A tunneling black vortex grabbed me and squeezed me so that I thought I would die of compression, flickers of light and images among it- places, I realized- until it cleared and my feet hit ground. My vision clouded with darkness and I dropped to my knees, feeling my stomach heave, and moving a hand to clamp it over my mouth almost made me collapse.

"Oh, dear- never apparated before, then?"

I shook my head and my stomach swam; I rolled over so I was sitting on my butt and put my head between my knees, closing my eyes a moment. When the ringing in my ears stopped, I opened my eyes to see grass. I lifted my head, taking in my surroundings. We were in a forest of evergreens, floored by fir needles and tall grass covered in dew. The moonlight bathed the slopes in silver, and I realized we were on a mountain.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up to see true concern in Euphemia's hazel eyes. "You and James have the same eyes."

A smile crinkled the skin around her mouth, and she nodded. "That I do. He wears them better than I do."

"Yours are warmer though."

I rose to my feet and looked around; Albion was already playing, prancing around the trees and flying. He soared up into the air and I realized he had never flown in all his life; it came naturally to him, as easy as breathing it seemed. He did a flip and then sailed back down and landed heavily in front of me.

"Beautiful beast you have," Euphemia commented. I reached up and laid a hand on Albion's muzzle; he responded by pressing his head into my chest.

"That he is," I replied. A long sigh pulled out of me as I hugged my friend; that's what he was to me- a friend. Albion was the most beautiful dragon I had ever seen, in books or in life. He was mostly white, almost an pearl shade, with a rainbow sheen along him. He had enough teeth, and sharp enough, to kill someone with the smallest, and the spines along his back would ward off any other creatures, but his pale pink eyes held warmth and intelligence. For supposedly violent, dangerous creatures, the dragon I had met had proved to be the opposite. I was sure in a few months' time he would be a wild thing, and would eat me as soon as see me, but for now he was my Albion, a precious young creature, innocent and sweet. He would be alright out here, but I feared he would be lonely.

"Farewell, my friend."

Albion looked at me sadly and stepped forward as I stepped back. Before he could come closer, Euphemia grabbed me. As the apparating began, I heard a wail from Albion, and then was overwhelmed with the same nausea-inducing claustrophobia. I had to take a moment in the Potters' living room to overcome it, with Remus and Lily rubbing my back and chatting with the Potters. Once I was feeling better, we stepped back into the fireplace and returned to Hogwarts.

Back in the Room of Requirement, we found James, Sirius, and Peter waiting for us. "FIgured you had left," James greeted us, "And would come back the same way."

"We were sending Albion home," I explained. "He's in Ukraine now, and we'll likely never see him again."

James frowned. "Shame. I'm going to miss him; it's almost comforting to know there's a dragon at my back if anyone breaks in while we work on the map."

"We met your parents," Remus added, and James gasped.

"What!"

Remus explained while I sat down, finishing off some of the sweets I had kept with me from supper. At the end of the story, Lily smirked and added, " _And_ before we left I walked in on Remus and Hazel nearly snogging."

"What?"

The word came from Remus, me, and, surprisingly, Sirius. Lily grinned, leaning on the back of James' chair. "They were holding each other so tightly, there was no way that hug was platonic."

"It was though-" Remus said, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

"You two spend so much time together, you click so well, it has to be more."

"It's not," I assured her, and Remus agreed. I wondered, briefly, if this was the same as what happened in the Three Broomsticks; I could say with more certainty that I didn't flirt with Remus, nor he with me, but what if he saw it differently? Was I the Sirius in this situation?

"About time Remus found someone," James commented, biting into an apple. "Though I wish, if it had to be someone from a different house, it could've been someone not on the Ravenclaw quidditch team."

"Would you rather he picked from Slytherin's?" Lily asked, and James shuddered.

"I hope he wouldn't just on principle."

"I didn't 'pick' anyone," Remus said. "Hazel and I are friends, it was a friendly hug."

But as they continued to debate, I noticed Sirius steadily seething more. After a couple more minutes of Lily discussing how great of a couple Remus and I would be, Sirius left without a word. I glanced at the others and then followed him.

I found him headed for the Gryffindor common room and had to jog to catch up. "Sirius, wait!"

"Why?"

"We're friends, aren't we? I want to know why you're so angry."

He halted. "Because- because I am. I just am. Go back, I'm sure Remus is waiting for you."

"Sirius, I don't want Remus. He's brilliant, sure, and handsome, but- wait, don't run off- but I don't see him that way."

"You've thought about it before, though?"

"Of course. That's only natural, he's worth thinking about, but he and I wouldn't work and as I said, I don't see him that way."

Sirius rolled his eyes and started walking again.

"I've thought about you, more."

He stopped again, and then turned to look at me. His grey eyes caught my own green-based hazel gaze. "You confuse me."

"How?"

He shook his head, stepping back toward me. "I can never figure out how you feel." His hands met my cheeks. "What happens in that pretty head of yours?"

My cheeks warmed under his palms. "I have no idea."

His attitude changed. He smirked. "Come on, I'll walk you to your common room."

We started back toward the Ravenclaw common room, neither of us speaking. I could feel a strange nervous energy buzzing between us; I wasn't about to ask about it. It was nice just to be back in Sirius's presence without an undertone of anger or confusion or barely suppressed emotions.

We reached the door sooner than I'd have liked and paused outside it. Sirius looked at me and stepped closer; I stepped back, and this continued until my back was to the wall. He still had that same smirk. He reached for me, his hand finding my side, and I caught his arm with mine, my hand just above his elbow on his arm.

"Sirius, what are you doing?"

He looked deeply into my eyes, and I realized it wasn't so much a smirk as a smile of very carefully suppressed excitement. "I don't know, but I just- I want to be closer to you."

I felt butterflies, and then they coalesced and turned to heavy stone as my smile dropped and I looked off to the side. I pushed Sirius away and turned to the door. He followed.

"What is it? What did I do?"

"I'm sure Cheryl Grier wouldn't appreciate what just happened."

"What happened?"

"It isn't what we did, it's what might have been done." I turned to the knocker and said the passcode, and then strode into the Ravenclaw common room, which was filled with Hallowe'en festivities. I crossed through immediately and went into my dorm, mercifully unoccupied, and pressed my back to the door. Unanticipated tears blurred my vision and I blinked them away; it's not worth crying over. Not anymore.

Why is it he can date whoever he wants and I'm expected to accept it, but if it even seems like I might be happily dating someone else, he pitches a fit and then does _that?_ What even was that? He never said.

I stripped to my undershirt and crawled into bed without caring for pajamas; the others wouldn't care, and right now, I had no care left to give. It was all too confusing; why is it he made my heart pound and my stomach flutter and my brain dissipate? Why is it he had that effect but could just as quickly cause me to feel as if I carried all the burdens in the world and my stomach was going to crawl out of my back and there was no reason to get up each morning?

It had to be a spell. That, or a very a powerful love potion.

Or maybe I'm just a fool who needs to free her tongue and tell a boy how she feels before he forgets about her completely.

But we know I'll never do that.

 **~~~  
A/N: **Hello, lovely readers! Been a while since I've received any feedback, are you guys still here?  
Sorry I've been updating slowly, but I am still writing. I think I said already that I'm far past what chapters I have on here, but that just means you guys get to speculate on what's going to happen. Shit gets _real_ and feelings get _deep_ , I'll say that much. Been a little taxing to write the past couple of chapters but it doesn't completely stray from the general feel of the story.

Anyhow! I love you all, please remember to fave/follow/review, and I hope you enjoyed!


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

In my next life, I now vow I shall never, ever fancy a Gryffindor, and will listen to Cassi from the start. Maybe then this argument wouldn't have happened.

"Hazel!"

I looked over at Sirius and kept walking.

"Hazel, why do you hate me?"

"I don't, I just think it's better if we don't talk more than we have to."

"Just two Saturdays ago we were good friends, and now you don't want us to talk? It's going to be a cold November indeed."

"Go talk to your girlfriend, maybe? She'll warm you up."

"Broke up with her."

"Why?"

"You."

My shoes squeaked as I came to a sudden halt. "Why?"

"I can't be as close to you as I want to be if I'm with someone else. So, to be fair to both of you, I broke up with her."

"What?!" Mind-boggled, I turned to face him. "What does 'fair' have to do with it? The fair thing would've been to not lead anyone on!"

"I led someone on?"

"Oh, my- Sirius, you beetle-brained tit! Yes, you led someone on! You just said you broke up with a girl because you want to be closer to someone else. You should have realized you wanted to be closer to someone else long before you started to date the first somebody. This is the kind of drama I had hoped to avoid this year."

"I'm sorry?"

"As you should be!"

"Why are you making me apologize for caring for you?"

"Because it's only made- you care for me? That isn't the point- you _should_ apologize! Because if you cared for me, then you wouldn't have caused all of this!"

"You're the one who said it was strange to think we flirted!"

"No, you said that, I only agreed to it, and then asked for confirmation from you, which you gave- you agreed it was mad to think that!"

"Because that's what you seemed to think! It _is_ mad to think you would flirt with me! We're completely different!"

"I'm well aware of that, why do you think I was so shocked my patronus was a dog?"

"And here I thought it was because mine is, too, but _no,_ it's because it's a _dog_ , you racist!"

"Dogs are not a race!"

"Species-ist!"

"You are absurd!" I started walking again.

"Don't you walk away from me, Hazel Drummond, we are _not_ finished with this conversation!"

"We are finished if I say we're finished!"

"No! I still have more words to share!"

"Then share them, for the love of all things good, and get it over with!"

"You make me want to fall through the floor and disappear and you fill me with rage and you make me feel this weird sparkly enchanted horseshit all at once and I have no idea what to do with it! I've never felt so many things at once!"

"That's because _you_ have a hard time feeling, which is why you have no problem playing with girls' hearts, and _that_ is why I'm mad at you!"

"Well, I'm mad about you."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Brilliant."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"You drive me mad, and I have to get to quidditch practice."

"Hazel."

I stopped, having now reached the path to the pitch, and turned to him. "What, Sirius?"

"Think about everything we just said."

My frothing rage receded, leaving in its place a bubble of confusion. "I… You… What did-?"

"I think I just realized I fancy you, and said so out loud."

I nodded. "I'll, um- I'll get back to you on that."

My face bright red, I strode off to the quidditch pitch, leaving the Gryffindor there. _He fancies me? Do I feel the same? What just- how do I- oh, ballocks, I just ran off, too. I'm a fool and a grand one at that. For all my Ravenclaw wit and wisdom, I am the most foolish girl at this school. I bring shame to my house._

Quidditch practice was odd that day; there was no relief, and it didn't clear my mind, but I still managed to pull off some decent quidditchery (which I was fairly certain was not a word). I needed to talk to someone about this; either I needed my best friend, or Lily, or Remus. No one else would do.

"Professor Harley, is there a- a certain brew of tea or form of card divination or something that can explain matters of the heart?"

This was not, in fact, Cassi or Lily or Remus, but my divination professor, who I bumped into after leaving quidditch early due to Bartram having eaten something bad and not being able to lead the team, so we simply disbanded. Professor Harley furrowed his brow. "Matters of the heart? Hazel, are you- are you coming to your professor with boy troubles?"

"I- no, not exactly- well, yes. Yes, I am. I'm just confused, and needed someone to talk to. I can find someone else-"

He smiled. "I may be able to help you. Come with me."

He led me back to his classroom and I sat down at my usual table. After a moment, he returned with a crystal ball and two candles, each a dark rose color. He lit the candles and set the crystal ball on its stand, and then said to use it and left the room. I gingerly placed my fingertips on the crystal ball, feeling the usual soft spark, and stared into the swirling mists within.

The mists turned lighter in color, and then suddenly flared red, quickly enough that I nearly jolted back; I kept my concentration on shapes, but soon found I didn't have to look for them. The mists all crowded toward the center, and then began shooting out in pillars, and then, in the center, took the shape of a phoenix rising toward the top. As it shot upward, its beak tapped the top of the crystal ball, and then-

The whole mists vanished in a soft eruption, becoming rumbling clouds and paling. They turned white and then faded to gray, resuming their usual misty consistency. I stood, and then strode out, feeling deep within that I needed to go tell Dumbledore what I saw. I strode through the castle, soon finding McGonagall on her way to the Great Hall for dinner.

"Professor McGonagall!"

She turned sharply, and her expression conveyed a small amount of surprise. "Yes, Miss Drummond?"

"Professor, I need to speak to Dumbledore, immediately."

"What's this about?"

I shook my head. "I- divination. That's all I can say. I can't explain it."

"Very well."

McGonagall began leading me through the halls, to a large statue, and then said, "Chocolate Frogs."

The statue moved, and a spiral staircase appeared behind it. McGonagall led the way up the staircase to the top, and then knocked on the door. I could hear voices within, and they stopped quickly.

"Come in," Dumbledore's usual calm voice called. The door opened, and McGonagall and I stepped in. Dumbledore eyed us both, waiting.

"She said she needed to speak with you immediately," McGonagall answered, and Dumbledore turned to me.

"Well, Miss Drummond, what do you need to say?"

I suddenly felt foolish; I had been hasty in rushing here. I didn't even know why I needed to tell him. It had been little more than a feeling in my gut, really- but then, I'd never had a feeling so strong.

"Tell us," Dumbledore prompted. I saw someone readjust their position and spotted Professor Bronte in an armchair, his cheek resting on one hand. I cleared my throat.

"I went to see Professor Harley, for some notes, and then took a moment to look into a crystal ball. For some reason, I felt the need to tell _you_ , specifically, what I saw."

Dumbledore nodded, a polite go-on gesture.

"The mists turned red and formed a phoenix. It flew upward, and then as soon as it hit the top, it vanished. The mists turned white, and then back to normal gray." I saw Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Bronte exchange a knowing glance at the word phoenix, and continued. "It's not the first time I've seen a phoenix in divination- a few weeks ago, I was doing a tea-reading and the leaves formed a phoenix. I feel like it means more than just the symbolic use of a phoenix."

Dumbledore's hands joined in front of him. "And why is that?"

"I- I'm not sure. Just… A feeling I can't shake. Tonight is the first time it's made me feel the need to tell you."

"Miss Drummond," Dumbledore said, "There are things you cannot possibly know, and yet you have predicted. There is, in fact, a meaning involving a phoenix that you cannot know yet. Once you have completed your seventh year, perhaps, but not yet. I must ask that you tell no one what you saw, or of this meeting."

I nodded. "Yes, professor. May I ask something?"

"You may, but I cannot say if I will answer."

"Does this involve the dark uprising?"

His blue eyes stared at me. "If it does, then the phoenix is not darkness."

I only nodded, rather than say any of the tumultuous thoughts running through my mind. "Very well. Goodnight, professor."

"Goodnight, Miss Drummond."

I strode from the office; as I reached the ground floor again, the bell rang, indicating it was dinnertime. I hurried to the Great Hall and was one of the first to the Ravenclaw table, sitting down and beginning to pile my plate with food. It had been a long day, and a feast was just what I needed, as well as to actually talk to someone.

That night, Cassi and I sat by the fireplace in the Ravenclaw common room, chatting idly about this or that, when I dropped the bomb I'd been withholding. "So Sirius fancies me."

"About time you noticed."

I looked over at her. "What makes you say that?"

"He's been making eyes at you all year, and it's obvious he's moony about you."

 _Ha, "moony."_ I grinned. "Well, now it's official. We were arguing earlier and it slipped out, and then he has the nerve to say, 'I just realized I fancy you. Out loud.' Who- who _does_ that?"

"Sirius Black, apparently. But wasn't he snogging Cheryl Grier earlier?"

"Yes, but he says he broke up with her."

"Hm. And how do you feel about it?"

"I feel like he's a daft tit and needs to figure himself out."

"But how do you feel about _him?_ Romantically, I mean? Do you fancy him?"

"He's handsome, of course, but so is James Potter and I'm not going for him. He's… I'm not sure anymore. I've been mad at him for a week, so my judgment is clouded. I know he gives me butterflies, but he also drives me bonkers."

"That sounds like love."

"Oh, God, no!"

"Are you sure?"

I shuddered. "I'm positive. I said no boys this year anyway, so what does it matter?"

"It matters because whether you want it or not, fate may decree you and Sirius get together."

I stared into the fire, my mind elsewhere. Physically, I was on a couch in the Ravenclaw common room, aware of Cassi staring at me. Mentally, however, I was in the astronomy tower with Sirius, then I was being carried by him back to the Ravenclaw common room, then I was laughing with him in Charms…

"Speaking of fate," I said, in a Herculean effort to stop thinking about Sirius before it muddied my mind into seeing something that simply wasn't there, "I think something big is happening."

"What do you mean?"

I tried to figure out how to word this without lying to Dumbledore. "You've seen the Daily Prophet, all those articles about dark wizards grouping together under some leader calling himself the Dark Lord. I have this feeling like it's bigger than any of us think."

Cassi sighed, looking over at the fire. "I feel it, too. It's like the air pressure is heavier or something, as if there's a storm about to break. I can't figure it out, outside of feeling as though something big is like to happen soon."

I nodded. "That's exactly how I feel." I leaned forward, looking over at her. "Do you remember, after the Death Eater attack, when I said I want to fight back?"

"Hazel, you aren't thinking-"

"I am. It's November already; winter break is only a month away. When it comes, I'm going to search for them. I'm going to fight."

"Hazel, you can't!"

"I can. I'll be seventeen soon, so I may as well. Under wizarding law, I'll be an adult, meaning if I want to fight, no one can say otherwise."

"What if something happens to you? What will I do without you? What will your mother do? Or Yumi, or Bartram, or the quidditch team, or-"

"Cassi, I can't watch what happened to me happen to anyone else. What if that had been a first-year out there in the woods that day? There's something big coming, and I'm going to be a part of it, on the good side. I'm going to fight. I'm going to rise, like a phoenix."

 **A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, lovelies!

thatkindofgreen: Remus is a lovely character, and definitely a main character who will have his own story arc, and he will have a love interest, but since I'm trying to keep things canonical, it doesn't happen for a while yet. Rowling has stated that he only ever loved Tonks, and she was his only romantic interest in his _whole life. (which just adds to the hopeless romantic, wolfy-soulmate-thing he has going)_

So, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I have a hella lot of homework Dx (AP English is hell, guys, mostly because I know more about English than the teacher does and I have to reteach everything to other students once the teacher isn't paying attention)

I'll try to update more regularly until you're caught up to where I've written. Love you all, hope you enjoyed!


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four

A week passed, and another. Sirius and I were awkward around each other, and then settled back into the former easy friendship. We simply didn't speak of what he had said, or what I had. It was easier that way.

Slughorn invited me to the annual Christmas party, which meant I had to find a date. Cassi and Amos were clearly going together, and that meant I had to keep my end of the bargain, and bring someone. I was tempted to bring Sirius, actually planning to ask him once I found the guts to, until a particular conversation occurred.

I spotted James and Lily talking enthusiastically and, forlorn and forgotten nearby, Severus Snape sitting on a bench in the courtyard. I strode over and sat next to him; it had been a while since we had last spoken one-on-one. We were arithmancy partners again, he and Amos and I, but rarely spoke outside of class.

"Hello, Severus," I greeted him. "You're looking particularly morose today."

"Lily and I had been planning to go to Slughorn's Christmas party together all year. We're both members of the Slug Club, and Slughorn wants us to bring a date. It only made sense. Now she's just asked James Potter."

He all but spat the name. I frowned, glancing over at James, and then listened as Severus continued.

"So I guess, seeing as it's impossible for me to have a date now, I'll not be going."

I looked over at him. "Come now, Severus, that's no attitude to have! You simply _must_ go. Slughorn's only said a billion times you're one of his favorite students."

"Oh, yes, I'll show up pathetic and alone among all the couples. That sounds like a fantastic way to spend my evening."

"Go with me," I said, without thinking. "We'll go as friends. That way neither of us have to show up pathetic and alone or embarrass ourselves asking someone else."

He looked over in surprise, defined lips parted slightly and dark eyes wide. "You would- do that for me?"

"I would," I answered. "No one deserves to be that miserable over what's meant to be a happy evening."

"I suppose."

"So we'll go together, then. To the Christmas party, I mean."

He nodded awkwardly. "I suppose."

"Brilliant. Great." I stood. "Well, I will see you around then, Severus."

I strode off. _Oh, my God, what have I done?_ I knew it was shallow to think, but I would never redeem myself after this. My reputation was drained, and now- _I can't go with Sirius!_ The thought hit me like a ton of bricks and I paused in the hallway, nearly tripping, and then continued quickly to the Room of Requirement.

 _I need somewhere quiet to think. I need somewhere quiet to think. I need somewhere…_

The door appeared and I stepped into a library-type setting, empty of anyone and full of books and cozy chairs and a warm fire. Taking a seat in one of the chairs, I let my head rest on the arm, and, to my great surprise, soon fell asleep.

I woke some hours later and sat up dazed and in a state of timelessness. I had no idea whether it was day or night, dusk or dawn. All I knew was that I was hungry. Upon standing, I was overwhelmed with a wave of dizziness that nearly made me sit back down; as the world wavered, I had to lean on an armchair. My vision cleared a second later and I stepped out of the room to see Sirius coming down the hall with worry in his eyes.

"There you are!" He exclaimed, racing forward.

"I only-"

I was cut off as my mouth collided with his shoulder in a hug I hadn't anticipated. He held me tightly to him for a long moment, saying, "I was so worried, Hazel."

I let him keep me there a moment, and then withdrew. "Sirius, how long have you been looking for me?"

"It's three a.m. and no one has seen you since before supper."

I put a hand on my empty stomach. "That explains why I'm hungry, then. Sorry; I went in to think and fell asleep. There hasn't been a school-wide search or anything, has there?"

"No," he answered. "It's just been your friend Cassi and the Marauders."

He quickly unpocketed a scrap of parchment and a quill, scribbling something on there, and then folded it into an airplane and sent it off. He turned and hugged me again. I felt a strange warmth blossom in my chest and tried to destroy it, but Sirius's hug only helped it flourish. After a few long moments like that, he pulled back with a long sigh.

"I can't even begin to explain how ridiculously worried I was. Now then, let's get you some food."

He paced the corridor until the Room of Requirement's door reappeared, around which time Remus and James and Peter showed up. Remus nodded. "See? I told you she was fine, you old worry-wart."

"Excuse me for being concerned about my friend," Sirius muttered, and I followed him into the Room. He had altered it, so that food had appeared alongside everything usually in their form of the room. I sat down at table and began to eat as Sirius explained to the others what had happened.

"What could you possibly have needed to think about for that long?" James asked when Sirius had finished.

I glanced at Sirius and met James' hazel eyes, so like his mother's, as I had been noticing since meeting her. "As I told Sirius, I fell asleep. I wasn't in there pondering life for that long."

"But what made you initially go in there?" Sirius inquired, leaning forward in his seat. I felt my cheeks redden. I couldn't say _you._

"I'm a girl, we need to think about things sometimes," I said instead, playing the gender card. It worked.

"Then we probably don't want to know," James noted, but I saw Sirius's brain ticking behind his eyes and a hint of a smirk forming on his lips. _Oh, for the love of-_

"Speaking of girls," Remus said, interrupting whatever Sirius might have said, "Did anyone tell Dale?"

Dale? Oh, Cassi. Sirius answered, "I sent an airplane to James, but no, I didn't send one to her."

"Is she just too different from Hazel for you to send moonlit love-notes to?" James teased.

"I do not send 'love-notes', James, and you have absolutely no room to talk. At least I don't sit in our dorm _mooning_ over pretty red-haired girls."

"Just the one," Remus corrected. "He talks about her in his sleep, too."

James opened his mouth to retort, but then smiled, almost bashfully- an expression I never expected from him- and said, "She's- she's special to me. I care about her. And you two are only jealous, because Lily asked me to Slughorn's Christmas party. _Me_ of all people! I thought I never stood a chance, and now, she wants me to be her date."

It was actually kind of adorable how ecstatic he was about this; you could see in his face that he was thrilled, in his twinkling eyes and cheesy smile. But then Remus turned to me. "Speaking of that party, Hazel, aren't you going?"

I nodded.

"And who are you taking?"

I floundered for a response, somewhat reluctant (if somewhat meant immensely) to answer. "I- um- a friend."

"Which friend?" Sirius asked sharply, mouth a line and eyebrows turned inward.

"Just- a friend. He had a date planned but she's going with someone else, so I offered to go with him. Anyway, I'd best be going, thank you for your concern and your help!"

Without another word, I raced from the room in a flurry of robes, still with half of a turkey sandwich in hand. All but sprinting down the halls, I was halfway to Ravenclaw's common room before I realized Sirius had, as usual, followed. We had a habit of doing that, I had noticed.

"Hazel, wait!" He called in a loud whisper. I glanced behind and hurried faster, but still, he caught me as I rounded the corner to the Ravenclaw Tower's corridor. Catching my arm and pulling me back to him, he came to stand centimeters away and looked down at me with combined disappointment and curiosity in his grey eyes. "Who are you taking? You can tell me, I won't tell the others."

"Would you vow that?"

"If you asked."

I sighed. "I- I have the kind of heart that acts on sympathy before my brain works. I saw Lily asking James, and I saw how upset Severus was, so I went to talk to him, and he said he just wouldn't go to the party, rather than show up pathetic and alone." Sirius snorted and I elbowed him, continuing. "So I offered to go with him. As friends."

Sirius stared down at me, unreadable. His eyes wandered away for a moment, and then he caught me in a gaze that demanded the truth and asked, "If not for that, who would you have asked?"

"You."

He continued to hold me in that gaze a moment longer, and then said, "You know I would have said yes, yet you chose him over me."

"Sirius, it isn't- it isn't like that."

"Isn't it? Two weeks ago I declared I have feelings for you and you've barely spoken to me since, and now you admit that, even though you know I would go with you, you didn't ask me to the Christmas party because you would rather go with that _snake."_

I yanked out of his grip. "I didn't do it to spite you. In fact, I was going to ask if the Marauders were doing anything for Christmas, but- but fine, I'll just… Never mind, Sirius. Forget I said anything."

"About what?"

"Anything."

 **A/N:** I swear, they have the most up and down relationship.

I decided I'd start working harder on this story; I really love it, and I'm also completely devastated right now. I'm sure you all heard about Alan Rickman; our beloved Snape has passed, just as his character did. It makes me wish I had reason to include him more in this story. He's a truly wonderful character, even if we're around the time that he loses Lily forever. And Alan was a grand actor and a splendid man from everything said of him by everyone who knew him personally; we truly lost a star (and just after losing David Bowie, my all-time favorite musician- 2016 is not the year I'd hoped it would be, not yet, anyway).

Anyhow! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review/fave/follow. I love you all, and I hope you aren't too upset about Alan, or, if you are, that you have a healthy way to cope with it. Should you need to, you can PM me, and we will cry about him all day.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

"You said _what?"_

"I know. I'm a fool."

"He said that, and _that_ was your reply?"

"I'm not a romantic, Cassi, I'm a Ravenclaw."

"That hasn't stopped _me."_

"You've always been more put-together about these things than I have. You could have convinced anyone to be with you. It's no surprise Amos Diggory noticed."

"Hazel, you _have_ to talk to him. Write to him, or- or something."

"I can't, Cassi. I just can't. And that's the last I'd like to speak of Sirius Black."

Things went from bad to worse with Sirius and I. I wanted to pretend our easy friendship still existed, but the truth was, it didn't. That admiration he'd had for me in September had vanished, and now he only spoke to me in Charms, and even that was only when required. The other Marauders noticed; James was quiet around me, and now and then I would see him glaring from the Gryffindor table while Sirius looked somberly downward. Remus was still alright with me; we would meet in the library now and then and study. I couldn't seem to figure out a way to fix it, and he said the only way was to be honest with Sirius about my feelings for him, whatever those were. But every time I had them figured out enough to say anything, Sirius would act moody around me, and I would lose my courage. Not to mention he was back on his dating sprees.

Meanwhile, my classes were doing wonderfully, and the map was halfway done by the end of November. We put it away until after the New Year, and called off any more meetings for the map- meaning I had no reason to go see them, and that caused an ache in my chest I couldn't deny. My other friendships grew for it, though, in that Cassi and I were more open with each other- heartache does that to you, makes you want to talk to someone- and Yumi and Bartram and I had an easy, joking manner on the pitch. I skipped out of Hogsmeade visits, however; I didn't feel like going to see everyone happy and in love while I sat lonely and miserable. Cassi and Amos were so involved with each other that it was impossible to spend time with either of them, and Yumi had been meeting with that Adonis fellow every chance she got (even when she wasn't authorized to, having found a secret passage to Hogsmeade through a vase).

It was Yumi's secret vase that led to Sirius and I reconciling.

The old excitement pulsing through me that early December day, I raced through the halls during my free period, seeing other students pelt each other with the fresh-fallen snow and play in it outside the corridors. I reached the stairs and went up seven flights without pausing or growing breathless and then paced the corridor in an excited flurry. The door appeared and I raced in- to see Sirius.

He glanced up from the table in surprise, and then his expression turned cold for a heartbeat, and then forlorn. He sighed and looked back down, continuing whatever he was working on. We hadn't really spoken since that night in the corridor, two weeks ago. It had been a month since we were really and truly on good terms; it had been a month since I could relax with someone who had been one of my closest friends, and one of the people I could most easily get along with, for whatever reason. It was as if the spark had vanished.

Wordless, I crossed the room and withdrew the map from its shelf. Sirius looked up then. "What are you doing?"

"Found a secret passage to Hogsmeade," I answered, tone crisp and clipped. "Thought it should be on the map."

Sirius nodded and turned back to his work as I sat down, spreading out the map.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Work."

There goes that conversation, then. I found the vase and marked it, and then reluctantly began to fold the map back up, realizing I had nought else to do.

"Sulking," Sirius added, surprising me, as I put the map back up. I turned around, leaning one hand on the table.

"Why is that?"

He looked up from his work and met my eyes. "Because I met this fantastic girl and it took me four years to grow a pair and get to know her, and after I did, I was still an ass to her, and now she doesn't talk to me."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest; I couldn't form coherent thoughts. I didn't know why he suddenly had this effect on me again. "Do I know her?"

"Oh, yes, quite well, I think. Do you know yourself?"

"Thought you'd say something like that. Sirius, I've been thinking you didn't want to talk to me; that's why I didn't talk to you."

A flash of astonishment crossed his features, and then I saw a light reappear in his eyes. He smiled and stood. "Hazel, I would like to formally invite you to the Marauder's Christmas Party, the same evening as Slughorn's, but better and with more fun and less pompous know-it-all's."

"So, less of the Ravenclaw house?"

He chuckled. "Precisely. Are you in?"

A smile I hadn't expected crossed my face and I walked over to him. "I would love to. And you aren't going to be angry about the Snape thing?"

He shook his head, his smile remaining. "I thought about it, and my reaction to that was… Well, I was an ass. I understand why you did that, and if you'll agree to be my date to the Marauder's party, I'll forgive you."

I grinned, surprising both of us by taking his hand. "Gladly."

After that, Sirius and I had almost magically alleviated the awkwardness between us. The next day in Charms, we were both joking and laughing like we used to, and we actually accidentally soaked Flitwick in water when that same water-spout spell went a little too well. It was the end-of-term review, a test to make sure we were all where we were supposed to be. I had mastered non-verbal charms; non-verbal in Defense Against the Dark Arts, however, wasn't going as well. I had plans with Remus that afternoon to remedy that.

We met in the Room of Requirement after supper to find James and Sirius in there on broomsticks, having extended the ceiling up, playing some quidditch game of their own creation. Remus and I began practicing, and something just felt… Right.

This was the easy life I had come to know as my sixth year at Hogwarts, spending time with the Marauders in our own little hideaway, an extra allowed into a secret group by pure luck. Sirius and I being on good terms was helping my spirit as well. Cassi would be proud of me.

After perfecting a non-verbal protego, Remus helped me practice conjuring a patronus, and then we called it a night. I hugged everyone goodbye- even James, riding my good mood- and then headed back to Ravenclaw Tower. In the common room, I collapsed onto an armchair, next to a couch with cuddling Pandora and Xeno, while Yumi sat on the floor with Cassi, the two gossiping.

"Ah, the eternally absent Hazel returns," Yumi greeted me. "Off breaking Gryffindors' hearts again?"

"Cassi, what did you say?"

Cassi chuckled. "Just that Sirius Black has been all upset since you told him you weren't going to the Christmas party with him."

I grinned and leaned close to them. "Well, keep it between us, but- Sirius and a few friends are throwing their own Christmas party, and he invited me as his date."

I was trying not to let myself be excited about it, but after telling Cassi and Yumi that, neither let me stay calm about it. Cassi leapt up with a squeal. "He did?! You said yes, right? Tell me you said yes!"

"I said yes."

"Oh, my gosh, Hazel, this is great! So you're finally admitting to yourself that you fancy him?"

"I don't fancy him. I don't know how I feel about him yet."

"Oh, come on," Yumi said, playfully exasperated, "Tell me the thought of those grey eyes don't make you _swoon,_ the color of shale and thunderclouds-"

"They're cinder," I corrected, and then blushed as the other two laughed.

"Yeah, Yumi," Cassi said, grinning, "They're _cinder._ And Hazel's been thinking about them all year. Those _cinder_ eyes, and ebony locks wavy from the wind, and that lean, pale body, probably with a trail of dark hair leading down from his navel-"

"Stop!" I protested. "I'm not- if I were to fancy him, it wouldn't just be because he's good-looking. Remus is good-looking and I don't fancy him."

"Remus? Remus Lupin?" Yumi inferred. "The boy with the scars?"

"Hey! That isn't fair to him. He isn't just the 'boy with the scars.' He's an amazing fellow, and he's smarter than almost anyone else I've met."

Yumi cocked an eyebrow at Cassi, who shook her head and said, "Very well. So Hazel's a personality person, then. So, what traits of his have drawn you in?"

"I'm not _drawn in."_

"Okay, then, say you were going to convince someone to be with him- what would you tell them?"

 _I don't want someone to be with him._ "That he's an ass. That he can be daft, and rude, and assumptive-"

"Okay, if you were trying to convince your mother she should let you date him."

I sighed. "I wouldn't, though."

"Hypothetically!" Yumi exclaimed. "If you were to want to, how would you convince her to let you?"

I groaned, glancing at the fire. "I would tell her- I would tell her that he's handsome, for sure, but more than that, he's loyal. He would die for his friends if they needed him to. He's got a sense of humor that matches mine, and he's willing to have fun. He's more creative than he's given credit for. He's intelligent, and, without a doubt, one of the most talented and brave wizards I know."

"Why is that?" Cassi asked, and I realized she and Yumi both were staring me down with curiosity. My cheeks reddened.

"Because he can conjure a patronus, and has been able to. He's able to tackle some of the most difficult magic in the whole wizarding universe, and he's not even a seventh-year yet."

"And why is he so brave?" Yumi pressed.

"I… You would have to get to know him to see it, but I can tell there's something from his past that he conquered, some darkness. On top of that, as I said, he'll do anything for his friends. Not anything bad- he has more integrity than that- but if James Potter and Remus Lupin were to run into the field of battle, he would be by their side without a doubt."

Cassi gave me a questioning look. "Is that why you're so adamant about fighting this Voldemort threat yourself?"

"Don't say his name," Yumi snapped quietly.

"Why?"

"Because," Yumi glanced between us. "It's bad luck. Adonis was talking about it at Hogsmeade-"

"Oh, Adonis," Cassi teased, rolling her eyes and grinning. "And he can do no wrong, can he?"

"Cassi, I'm serious-"

Cassi laughed. "I believe you, Yumi. Just trying to lighten the mood."

I chuckled briefly and then looked over at the fire. For a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of a phoenix. It wasn't going to end now, or any time soon, I could tell; this uprising would only burn more before it burned out.

But that night as I lie in bed, I had something much more exciting to think about.

The clock rang twelve, and Cassi leaned her head over the top bunk to look down at me.

"Happy birthday, Hazel!"

 **A/N:** Also in honor of Alan, two chapters in one day!


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Six

The day of my birthday, I didn't make a big deal about it. December 6th greeted me with a blizzard, and I ran from class to class to escape the cold. It was a Monday, and Sirius was especially nice to me, but said nothing about my birthday, which was fine with me. In Arithmancy, however, Amos bombarded me. He greeted me with two boxes, individually wrapped. One was from him, and the other was from Professor Harley, whom Amos had seen that morning.

"Happy birthday, Hazel!" He greeted me, handing me the gifts.

"Oh! Thank you, Amos," I replied.

"It's your birthday?" Severus noted, looking up, and I nodded.

"Seventeen now." I set the gifts on the floor next to me and sat down after Professor Llewellyn also said happy birthday, and then set us to work. After Arithmancy, Amos cornered me and forced me to open the present from him, which I did. Within the box was a small bracelet made of black twine, with blue wrapped around it, and in the center was a small blue stone. Amos's excited smile watched as I put the bracelet around my wrist; the two ends magically fused together and the stone flashed.

"Now you can always find Cassi and I. I'm determined to stay with her after Hogwarts, and now, whenever you need us, touch the stone and apparate and it'll take you straight to us."

I looked down and smiled. "It's even in Ravenclaw colors." I met his eyes, my smile growing. "Thank you, Amos." I hugged him briefly, and then we went our separate ways. As I reached the Ravenclaw common room, the whole quidditch team greeted me with a "happy birthday" cheer, and then Cassi and Yumi kidnapped me and carried me out of the room, the quidditch team following.

"Where are we going?" I asked them, and none answered, simply carrying me off. "Okay, then. Happy birthday, Hazel, you're being carried to your death. Brilliant."

They took me to the astronomy tower and I accepted my fate, that I would soon be thrown to my death. Perhaps it was some elaborate set-up for James Potter to save my life and then we'd be even and he could hate me forever and-

Or the Marauders were waiting at the top with Lily and Amos and candles and a birthday party.

"Surprise!" They all shouted. I grinned and was released from my captors.

"This is the single cheesiest thing any of you lot have done for me. Thank you."

"Presents!" Sirius shouted, throwing a box in blue paper at me. Chuckling, I set it on a table.

"I'll open them in a moment. First, I want to hug all of you. I should have expected this, probably, but I didn't."

After hugging everyone, I turned to the pile of gifts waiting for me. It wasn't too large, only small things from friends- my mother and grandmother would give me theirs once I returned in a couple weeks. That had been our agreement since first year. I had a gift from Cassi, Yumi, Sirius, Remus, Pandora and Xeno together, Lily, and even something small from James. Bartram and the rest of the quidditch team had come together to get a trip paid for to get me and my mother to Falmouth, to watch the Falcons. All of these gifts also substituted as Christmas presents, the curse of having a December birthday. Afterward, the two groups and the extras came together; all of these people love to party.

Cassi had gotten me a basket of small things, including Berty Bott's beans and a soft blue sweater from her mother. Yumi had made a charm bracelet with a broomstick, snitch, raven, and several blue and black beads. Remus had given me a book on defensive spells, as well as a small field-journal with Albion painted on the front (for my adventures studying magical creatures later on, he said). Pandora and Xeno had gotten me my very own vial of a potion of Pandora's own concoction, which they claimed would help me relax. Lily had given me a charm to go with Yumi's bracelet, that charm being a lily, as well as a soft dark gray scarf (which I actually loved). James had gone out of his way to get Chinese Fortune Sticks from Zonko's; he assured me they were "ancient divination", but the first said to avoid flying green waffles- at which point he confessed he may have tweaked them.

Sirius, rather than let me open my present from him, withdrew a keg of butterbeer- where he had found it, I wasn't going to ask- and demanded that the party begin. He caught me a moment later and said we would open his privately.

It was looking to be an exciting evening.

After _hours_ of partying, returning after dinner and enjoying ourselves even more, I finally managed to drift away. The party continued without me, as expected, because it was more a party for the sake of having one, now that quidditch was on hold until after the break. I managed to reach one of the courtyards, blanketed with snow as it was, and sat in a sheltered alcove where a bench pressed to the stone wall under a short bit of roof that extended just far enough. I cast the evaporating charm anyways, and then sat on the cold stone, feeling the warmth soak out of my body into the bench.

I was content with the party, and the presents were wonderful. I had a bracelet, necklace, and scarf on, and had the field-journal from Remus in my pocket. The potion and fortune sticks were in the care of Cassi, however reliable that was.

Footsteps crunching through the snow broke through my revery, and I looked up to see a dark figure lumbering through the steadily-thickening snow, hidden behind thick white flakes. A smile crossed my features before I even saw his face; I knew already who it was. Sirius trotted into the alcove and brushed the snow off his shoulders and then looked at me with a cold-reddened face lifted in a smile.

"Hi, Hazel," he greeted me, sitting down with a blue-wrapped package in his hands.

"Hello, Sirius," I said, smiling at him. "I'm freezing."

He chuckled, white breath visible even in the night. "Why are you out here, especially if it's so cold?"

I sighed, still smiling. "I can only take those parties for so long. I almost always wander off before the party concludes, and this one lasted for so long… It's just easier this way. I don't have a problem with people or socializing, I just can't deal with it for too long."

"I can't say I understand personally, but I can say I accept that." He sat back against the wall, squawked at the cold, leaned back up some, and mimed sitting against the wall instead. "So, did you like your presents?"

"I loved them," I answered. "It's strange; last year, my birthday was a private affair in my dorm after a trip to Hogsmeade. This year, the whole quidditch team and mixed houses are partying for me. So much has changed."

I felt him looking at me, but kept my eyes on the snow as he asked in a low tone, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

I felt my eyes narrow slightly as my mind sought a way to answer this. "I'm not sure."

"Hmm."

We sat in silence for a long moment. Was it good or bad? I loved that I had new friends, but… With the impending war, I wasn't sure what was going to happen after this. There was no telling. War? Since when was it… I was only denying what I knew. The Daily Prophet, for all its slander and propaganda, was reporting the truth on this: there was darkness on the rise, and none of us were prepared for it.

"Hey," Sirius said, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked over somberly, but met his contagious smile with one of my own as he continued, "Let's open this, yeah? Brighten the mood some."

He held out the gift and with a small smile, I took it into my hands and set it on my lap. Twine had been wrapped around it, tied in a bow on the top (which Sirius informed me had actually been Remus's doing, as he was terrible at wrapping gifts). I pulled the twine knot so that it came undone and then slowly pulled off the paper to see a black rectangular box. Taking the lid with my fingertips, I pulled it off and passed it to Sirius, and then side-eyed Sirius curiously.

Inside the box was a multitude of items. I lifted the top one, a crimson and gold scarf.

"To remember me- er, us- by over the break," Sirius explained. I chuckled.

Next was a purple box of tea; I read the label aloud. "Some of these teas will give your mind a please, but some of these bags will lead to jestful gags. Mr. Mantez Divinatory and Joke Teas Combo Pack."

"You like divination, and you have a sense of humor," Sirius explained. "I thought them perfect. Here, read the back- if you try to read tea leaves with them, you'll either get an actual divination answer, or you'll get a joke. It says the joke leaves are a different color, so you'll know."

I grinned. "You're drinking some of this with me." I looked over at him. "By the way, where do you live? I- it would be nice to, um, to see you over the break."

"As I said, I'm staying with James in Godric Hollow. It's in West Country, not far from Hartland Point."

I quirked my mouth to the side, looking out into the snow while I thought. "Quite a way away, then. I'm from Oxford. However, the quidditch team- sorry, Ravenclaw's- paid for me to go to Falmouth, so I would pass through that area, roughly."

"It would make more sense to go through Exeter," he pointed out. I shrugged that off.

"I'll stop by on the way back, then. If you want me to."

"I do," he assured me, "I just… I'll write to you."

I nodded, putting it aside for now, and turned back to the box. Also inside was a small ring, sterling silver with an outline of wings centered with a small circular tanzanite. I gasped and slid it onto my finger; Sirius grinned brightly.

"Everyone else got you jewelry or an accessory, and… I wanted to give you something small that you can wear daily, something from your house. I thought you would like something Ravenclaw related."

"Sirius, it's- it's beautiful."

He smiled and I hugged him, trying to hold down the rapid butterflies and strong emotions that pooled in my eyes. I blinked several times and, to hide it, turned back to the box. Inside, all that was left was a large orange envelope at the bottom. Withdrawing it, I read aloud from its exterior, "Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present your birthday present."

"When you open the envelope and pull out the paper, say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' Sirius instructed.

I opened the envelope and removed the paper from within, four sheets. I glanced at Sirius and then said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Four images appeared on the separate pages. On the top paper, it said,

 _Should you need desperately to speak to us, go to the respective paper and say our name. Write on the paper, and wherever we are, we will reply. This way, whatever happens, however far apart we are, we can stay in touch._

I glanced at the other pages- one had a pawprint, one had a hoof, and one had a larger pawprint, each in black ink in the top right corner.

"The backs are marked, too," Sirius said. "Two of them, at least."

I turned the pages; on the back of the smaller pawprint was the tiny foot of a rat, and on the back of the hooves was the outline of a lily. With a great smile, I placed the papers back in the box and stood, putting the box on the bench and turning to Sirius. I lifted him by his hands and hugged him tightly. He held me close to him, and I inhaled deeply; pine and rain, as always, as if he had been running about in the forest. Then, suddenly he pulled back.

"Oh!" He remembered, "One more thing." He delved into his robe pocket and withdrew a tiny black dog charm. "Here, for your charm bracelet!"

With a surprised gasp and a wealth of sudden enthusiasm, I took the charm in one fist and then leaned up and kissed Sirius's cheek. "Thank!-" I paused, cleared my throat, and, in a calmer tone, said, "Thank you."

My change in enthusiasm was the result of the surprised look on his face, his parted lips and wide eyes.

"Did you just-?"

"Nope."

"But-"

"Nope. Didn't happen."

I could feel my cheeks turning bright red and I was suddenly very thankful it was night. Sirius smirked and pulled me into a hug; I held him tightly, feeling the tiny black stone charm in my hand. Sirius rubbed my back a little, and then wrapped his arms far enough so that one cupped the opposite shoulder and the other had his long, slender fingers along my ribs. I quietly released a happy sigh, and Sirius touched his nose to my hair and then rested his head on mine sideways.

"You totally kissed me."

 **A/N:** Ah, Sirius, who doesn't love you? 3  
Sorry it's been longer than I realized, guys. I do still love you! I've just been swamped with home drama and schoolwork. But when I ended up drawing this cute little sketch of Hazel and Sirius in French, I decided I probably needed to pay attention to this story because it's not letting me pay attention to anything else, lol.

SO.

TONIGHT.

WE GET A DOUBLE-CHAPTER-UPDATE! WOOOO! (even though it's 1:30 and I need to be sleeping! I'm still gonna go proofread the next chapter and post it!)

Anyway, I'm sleep-deprived and wide awake, so what do you guys think of Hazel's birthday? Isn't Sirius a sweetie? And Amos, he's growing on me. But more importantly, what kind of shenanigans will happen over Chrimmas Break? A trip to visit James and Sirius surely can't be a casual daytrip like proper English schoolchildren, can it?

Review/fave/follow! Thanks for reading!


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"It doesn't count!"

"Yes it does!"

"No! I did _not_ kiss you! Your cheek, yes, but that's different!"

"How so? It's still a kiss!"

I huffed. "Sirius Black, if you just tell someone I _kissed_ you, they assume you meant on the lips."

"Yes, until I clarify that it was my cheek!"

"I still don't understand why that's such a victory to you."

"Because! It's been a long time since such a pretty, smart, funny, fantastic girl kissed me. Let me enjoy it."

I grinned at him, trying not to laugh. "That's an insult to Cheryl Grier, Vanica Moore, Priscilla Aldridge, Rebecca Carmen, Jessamine Vann…"

Sirius laughed. "Have you been keeping track?"

"Haven't you?"

He shook his head. "No. I've only had one girl in mind this year."

"Then that isn't very fair to the girls you've been seeing."

"They're all Gryffindors, they know I'm not _serious."_

I tossed my head back and groaned. "Seriously?"

He laughed, a surprisingly high-pitched cackle. "You're as bad as I am!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

The bell rang and I rolled my eyes and stood. "Bye, Sirius."

"Bye, Hazel dearest!"

 _Dearest?_ Ignoring it, I escaped to my free period, meeting Remus in the Room of Requirement before having to go to Care of Magic Creatures. Remus sat in one of the arm chairs, his legs bent so his ankle was propped over his knee, and had his head resting on his hand. He didn't even glance up at the sound of my entry.

"Remus? You okay?"

With a sigh, he moved his hand and looked up at me. When he blinked, his eyes were bleary and pupils dilated. "I'm fine, it's just… Near the full moon."

I nodded, setting down my books, and took a seat. "Rest for a few, I'll just study."

Remus nodded and leaned back, his head on the wall. His weary blue eyes closed, and a long sigh drew from his lips. I frowned at the scars lining his face; he opened one eye in an incredibly wolf-like gesture. "What?"

"Nothing," I said, looking back down. That eye closed and I grabbed an envelope from within a stack of parchment and opened it. Unfolding the letter, I read it, recalling briefly that this was only the fourth exchanged between my mother and I this year.

 _Dearest Hazel,_

 _I'm sorry this year has been so stressful for you. You said in the summer that N.E.W.T.s would be hard; what does that stand for again? I know it's a big test, but I can't remember for the life of me._

 _Your friend Esmerelda from grade school stopped by again. She asked if you would be home for Christmas, and I told her to come by Christmas Eve. We're having a party._

 _So, we're going to Falmouth just after New Years, then? That's lovely. You know, you have a cousin there- your cousin Willem, who we haven't seen in some time. It will be good to reunite with him; perhaps we can get his mother there as well. I wonder now if he's also a wizard; he's from your dad's side, you know- your father's sister Darlene is his mother. I never considered it, to be honest._

 _What's this you keep saying about this fellow Sirius? Nearly every other story or joke you wrote involves him. You know I'll want the details._

 _There's only one more week until break; I can't wait to see you. You get to catch me up on everything. Go ahead and send Archibald back; it'll be better than the poor creature being stuffed up in that train with the other owls._

 _Love you, darling, and I miss you every day._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Mom_

With a smile, I wrote her back quickly, and then stood and practiced a patronus for a while, as well as non-verbal curses. Remus didn't budge. When my break was almost over, I went over and crouched in front of his chair.

"Remus," I said, and he opened his eyes. "What's really wrong? I know it's near the full moon, but you aren't usually this bad."

"It gets worse throughout the year," he answered. "Not sleeping enough over time accumulates, and with James and Sirius in my dorm it's hard to get enough sleep anyhow. By December, I'm usually exhausted and pressed for health. With my… Affliction, health is hard enough already. I'll be better after the break."

I pursed my lips. "Do you mean that or are you just saying it so I don't worry?"

With a tired smile, he said, "I mean that. We're leaving Monday, if you recall, which is in three days. I'll be fine soon."

I sighed and stood. "Very well. You're hugging me before the break, you know that, right?"

He chuckled softly. "I'm aware. You wouldn't allow me to leave without hugging you."

"Where are you staying?" I asked. "At home, or..?"

"At home. I intend to visit James at some point, primarily due to my parents' distaste for what I am now."

I frowned. "'What you are'? Remus, you're a wonderful wizard, and a great friend- that's what you are. What afflicts you is not your identity."

His smile dropped. "I feel like it is. It affects my every day life, my thoughts, it shows up when _it_ decides to- yes, the transformation part is only the full moon, but the wolf-like qualities of me and the way I think most of the time is due to that."

"Remus, no," I protested, taking his hand. "It isn't. That isn't _who_ you are, it's only something you have to fight. It's a challenge, and you are the most apt person I know to face it."

He sighed and looked up at me. I stared into his eyes, willing him to understand. Finally, he offered a quiet, "Maybe."

The door opened and James Potter swept in with all of his usual arrogance and enthusiasm, saying, "Why is it every time I walk in here and you two are alone, you're touching each other?"

I gaped. "Do you have to phrase it like that, James?"

"I do." He planted his hands on his hips as Remus and I released each other's hands. "I'm going to tell Sirius soon that Hazel's in love with you, Remus."

"I'm not in love with Remus," I stated firmly.

James raised his eyebrows. "Is that to imply Remus isn't lovable?"

"He is, but-"

"Wouldn't that mean you're admitting you find him able to be loved?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean _I_ love him."

"Then who do you love?"

I opened my mouth to speak, and then snapped it shut, astonished at myself, and covered by narrowing my eyes and saying, "Who sent you here?"

"No one," he shrugged, grinning. "I just came here to brag about kissing Lily today."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah! Totally snogged for an hour under the clocktower."

"Doubtful," Remus murmured, and I grinned.

"Well, James, that's all wonderful, but I have to be going. Got Care of Magical Creatures in five."

He waved a hand. "Boring."

I raised my eyebrows. "That's not what you thought about Albion."

"Albion was a dragon," James said, as if it should be obvious, "That's _wicked."_

"Whatever."

I strode out, grinning, and James badly mocked my _whatever,_ making me laugh as I walked into the hall. This would be my last class before the break, and immediately after I would have to start getting ready for Slughorn's Christmas party- and, afterward, the Marauders'. I was honestly amazed Severus hadn't backed out of us attending the party together, and I, in part, feared the backlash against me from some of the more prejudiced students. Nonetheless, I would make it good for him, if possible, even if it meant leaving early so he didn't have to deal with seeing James and Lily.

At the end of the class period, I approached Professor Kettleburn alone. "Professor, I had a question."

"Yes, Miss Drummond?" He asked, organizing a few texts he had referenced during the class period.

I racked my brain for a way to phrase it. "Well, you see, we- I- the puffskeins have," I paused, gathering my thoughts. "I've been helping take care of the puffskeins all semester, and you said they'll be gone after winter break."

He looked over at me with naturally wide brown eyes under bushy, graying brows. "That's correct."

"So I was wondering if, maybe, I could keep one. I'll pay for it, of course-"

"Miss Drummond," he interrupted, straightening up. "If you desire to keep one, you may keep it. I would recommend a more docile one, as your mother is a muggle, correct?" I nodded. "Then it will be easier for her to take care of and keep a docile one, but otherwise, that's fine."

"Thank you, professor!"

I hugged him and he chuckled, saying, "That's quite alright, miss." He withdrew from the hug and said, "Now, go get ready for the Christmas party- it's no surprise _you're_ in the Slug Club. Meet me before you pack up Monday and I will give you the puffskein of your choice, as well as the basics you need to take care of it. Or, if you lack time, I'll mail it to you. They're quite easy to ship, you know."

"Thank you, again. Goodbye, professor!"

"Goodbye," he said, turning back to organizing for the break. I left his hut and headed out, reaching the Ravenclaw Tower in five minutes. Once inside my dorm, I opened my wardrobe and withdrew the dress I had chosen for tonight. The dress was a red, lace-accented fit and flare piece with elbow-length sleeves and a hem to my knees. I found the same black ankle-high oxfords I had worn to Hogsmeade with Sirius, and then carefully selected the jewelry from my birthday. The charm bracelet would look tacky, as would the red and gold scarf, but the little ring Sirius had given me wouldn't stand out too much. I slipped it onto my finger and then found the gray scarf from Lily; it was dark enough that under the right lighting it would look black. I rested it around my neck loosely, in a twist-and-drape fashion, so that it hung over the boatneck collar of the dress. With a small primping of makeup, simple winged eyeliner and silver eyeshadow, I was nearly ready; all that was left was the simple loose, wavy updo to deal with my hair.

By the time I was ready, I still had some time left. An idea in mind, I grabbed the parchment from Sirius and sat in my bunk in the empty dorm. I found the paper with the larger pawprint and said, "Remus."

A scribble appeared after a moment, and then:

 _Hazel? Are you alright?_

 **Hi, Remus! I'm fine.**

 _Oh. What did you need?_

 **Something to do. I thought I would test the paper. Your handwriting is messier than I expected.**

 _You should see Sirius's; it's worse. Or, if that isn't bad enough, James can't write much better than a three year old._

 **That doesn't surprise me. Anyhow, I'll leave you to what you're doing. One question, how do I clear the page?**

 _Simply say, "Mischief Managed." It's magic we're also testing for the map, so we can be sure it works. Sirius and James decided the words, but the spell was still only theory. Now, as we see, it works._

 **Good. Are you going to Slughorn's party?**

 _Yes. Dateless, but yes. I'll see you there. Oh, and Hazel- I would prefer you only use this paper in emergencies._

 **Okay. I'll see you tonight then.**

I said the words Remus indicated, and the paper cleared. I put it back in its box, and put the box back in my trunk, and then stood and stretched. I had nothing to do, and quite some time left to waste. Hmm…

Naps are _awesome._

I woke up after forty minutes feeling refreshed and alive again, my makeup untouched by some miracle. After redoing my hair, I left to see Pandora just leaving the restroom near our tower, all made up and wearing a dark blue dress that complimented her pale blonde hair nicely. She greeted Xeno with a winning smile and he began escorting her away. I waited for a moment, and then saw a dark figure turn the corner.

Severus was wearing black slacks with a white button-down and a long black coat. He almost looked complacent, with his dark hair in healthy waves to his shoulders and his usually pasty complexion now more full of life and health. He approached me and offered his arm.

"Miss Drummond."

"Mr. Snape," I greeted him, looping my arm through his and letting my hand rest on his forearm. We started off and I glanced at him in wonder. "What's got you in such jolly spirits?"

He shrugged, his shiny black dress shoes clipping along the floors. "Break starts soon, and that means Lily and I, far, far away from James Potter, spending Christmas together. And she promised me a dance tonight."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. It's got me in a much better mood. I suppose it helps that I still get to attend this party, and not look completely pathetic- Potter is well aware of the kind of person you are, Hazel, and it'll simply infuriate him to know you went here with me."

"Severus, you had best watch your tone about that. I'm not a tool."

He looked over at me with surprise in his dark eyes. "I'm aware. I was simply noting the truth of the matter. Tell me you don't also want to see him get all pissy."

I was almost completely certain James would be too distracted wooing Lily to care about what Severus was doing, but I didn't say so at the moment. I just made a nonchalant maybe and continued on to the party, where I was now determined to find Remus. We reached the stairs and I saw Sirius walking with Remus and ducked behind a pillar. Severus glanced at me with confusion, and then spotted Sirius and ducked behind with me.

"Are you honestly hiding so that twit doesn't see you?" Severus whispered.

I glanced around the pillar; they had just reached the stairs. "He isn't a twit, and I have plans with him later, I don't want him to see me yet."

"Right."

"Hush, I want to listen."

Sirius was saying, "And you had better not accidentally step under the mistletoe with her." _Her? Ooh, does Remus actually have a date?_ "If you kiss that girl, I will personally shave your head in your sleep."

"Sirius, I'm not going to kiss her. And if you're so adamant about it, why don't you?"

"I'm not sure how she would respond to it-"

"There'll be mistletoe at the party tonight, just happen underneath it with her."

"No! I'm not _forcing_ her to. She has to _want_ to."

 _Is he talking about me? He must be- right?_

Remus laughed. "Go back to the common room, Sirius. I'll meet you tonight."

"I'll see you then. Don't you dare forget! Because if you do, all your hair- gone!"

"Go!" Remus chuckled, and I heard the retreating footsteps and then grabbed Snape by the hand and hurried off.

Time to have some fun.

My preconceived notion of how much "fun" a Christmas party would be was completely off from the reality.

Most of the witches and wizards in the room were tipsy from butterbeer, and someone had the wise idea to bring dragon balls as a snack. Severus left halfway through when he realized neither James nor Lily cared that he was there, and I couldn't find Remus anywhere. I had a theory he wasn't actually here, until finally, I spotted him across the room, a relief from my only point of interest being the way Pandora and Xeno would so quickly switch from casual banter to passionate snogging, or the romantic light James shone on Lily.

With a final attempt not to scream in utter exasperation at the way this party turned out, I made my way to Remus and grabbed his forearm, calling over the music, "Are you as done with this as I am?"

He looked over at me with relief. "Can we leave early?"

"Definitely."

With a firm hold on his arm, we traveled through the crowd and to the door, disappearing into the corridor. I saw Lily give me a suggestive glance and shook my head; Remus and I aren't going to be together, and have stated far too many times we don't feel that way about each other. Remus and I reached the stairs without speaking, until he said, "That is easily the worst Christmas party I've ever attended. I can only hope Sirius and Peter pulled together decent decor for the Room of Requirement."

I felt my eyes widen. "You left those two to the decorations?"

"Sirius has good ideas sometimes," Remus said defensively, "And whatever bad ideas he comes up with, Peter will stop him from."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

He grinned, running a hand through his hair. "No."

Remus had dressed up for the party as well, wearing a pale blue button-down and smooth gray slacks. I looked him up and down. "You look nice tonight."

He glanced at himself as well. "Thanks. I had hoped Maurine Taylor would be there, but she never showed."

"If you were hoping she would show, why didn't you invite her yourself?"

"My name for the year is 'Scar', there's no way she'll agree to go with me."

I sighed and shook my head. "You doubt yourself too much. She might appreciate a little confidence, and say yes on principle."

"Maybe. Too late now."

We reached the corridor and paced it three times, and then entered the room. Holly and mistletoe gave a natural look to the room, and red and green and gold candles lined the entire room. A large open area signalled a dance floor, and there were two tables with food on them. A hearth sat against the far wall, with multiple armchairs and cozy loveseats around it, all in Christmas-themed colors. The ceiling had been altered to mirror the Great Hall's, with snowflakes falling to a certain distance and then evaporating before they reached us. Overall, it was beautiful; I was surprised at how well they had done.

Here's hoping this party goes better than the last.

 **A/N:** If you haven't listened to Arden Cho's covers of songs, look them up. "Wrecking Ball" and "Just Can't Get Enough" are impossibly better by her.

Alright! What could possibly go wrong in a room with the Marauders and Hazel and mistletoe? Let's find out- in Chapter 28!

Read/review/fave/follow!

~Also, I totally wish I could copy/paste the fonts from the Google Drive document I have this saved on. Everyone has their own unique handwriting; if any of you want, PM me your Google account and I can share a separate document with the story up to this point, so you can see the fonts. If you have a YouTube account, that doubles for Google, I just need the email and I can share it with you.

And wow, it takes like five minutes for my laptop to load the whole document. It's over 200 pages, and this laptop is tiny, lol. Anyway! Thanks for reading, the next chapter will be posted by the end of the week (permitting my house doesn't down or I don't get framed as a serial killer or one of the other insane, random events that like to happen to me) (okay, honestly, it hasn't been that intense yet, just weird, so I thought a fair warning was a good idea).


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Sirius leapt up and trotted over to greet us. He was dressed finely in smooth black slacks and a gray henley I think only he could pull off, as it was tight enough to make his slender figure look muscular without showing how thin he was. His dark hair was groomed and brushed, falling in its usual waves, and his grey eyes sparkled with delight.

"Hazel!" He said upon reaching me, "You look lovely!" He gave Remus a short glare. "Why are you arriving together? Remus, did you do exactly what I asked you not to?"

Remus chuckled. "No; we were both tired of that party, so we left early after Hazel approached me with the idea."

"And you came straight here? No detours?"

"No detours."

Sirius nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his side. "Good."

I rolled my eyes. "Sirius, what are you so afraid of?"

"You and Remus are incredibly close!" He exclaimed, as if it should be obvious. "And you're _my_ date tonight, and I'm not letting you run off with ol' Moony."

"It isn't like I'm _mooning_ over him."

Sirius strode off, stopping a few feet away and saying, "How long have you been waiting to use that pun?"

"I've only just thought of it."

"Of course."

I grinned and strolled over as Remus helped himself to the food. Sirius and I reached the back and sat down on one of the loveseats. At the sound of a song starting, I realized Sirius had somehow acquired a record player, and had chosen some wizard band I didn't know who made rock n roll Christmas music. I should have expected as much.

"So, how was Slughorn's party?" Sirius asked, sounding as if he was trying not to mock the pompousness associated with such party.

"Dull," I answered. "The most interesting thing for me was watching the ones who actually enjoyed it. Took me a right good few hours to locate Remus, and by the time I did, I was done with the whole party. We left."

"And having Snape as a date didn't excite things?"

I rolled my eyes. "He expected James to be upset that he and I had gone together, and thought Lily would actually remember to save him a dance. When it had been a minute or two and she didn't immediately leave James for him and James wasn't fuming, Snape got angry and stormed out, leaving me alone."

"There's a reason we don't like him, you know."

"I know. I didn't even get to dance, and the snacks were awful. You know someone brought _dragon balls?"_

"I tried one," Remus admitted, stepping up with two mugs of butterbeer, one of which he passed to me before sitting down. "They were horrid; I thought I was going to gag."

"Why on earth did you try one?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. "I was at that point of boredom that putting the testicles of a large fire-breathing reptilian beast was more appetizing of an idea than continuing to sit by that wall. You're the one who always told me to live a little."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, shaking his head. "Not how I meant, but if you're pleased, alright."

Remus chuckled and began talking to Peter. I turned to Sirius, but completely forgot what I was going to say when he met my gaze with a dazzling smile and said, "I've been starved, but I was going to wait for everyone to get here before I ate. Since it's just James and Lily we're waiting on, would you care to join me for a bite to eat?"

I couldn't think of food with the swarm of butterflies suddenly in my stomach, but managed to reply, "Sure."

 _Since when does Sirius affect me this strongly?_ I thought as we crossed back to the tables. _Sure, I've always… Well, sort of, had a thing for him, maybe, but it was never serious- ah, not that pun again. Really, though, what changed? Was it because of what he said earlier to Remus about not kissing me? Would I_ want _to kiss Sirius?_

And that thought planted a seed that would utterly destroy me, it seemed.

My previous fascination with his lips returned, and I had a hard time focusing on his words as we piled our plates with food, mine scarcely and messily added to while Sirius was heaped with food. What would it be like to _kiss_ those lips? And since when did I care? Nope, I still don't- oh, but I do. There's mistletoe in the room; if it happens, it happens.

We took a seat and began to chat, and the door opened to reveal James and Lily, both bashful and giggly and hand-holding. They didn't even glance at the rest of us, just went straight to the food table, caught in their own little world. Observing for a moment, it was easy to see James was in love with her- he did everything he could for her, apologized over the smallest comments, smiled at everything she said, and his eyes had a certain glow to them when he looked at her. It suddenly made me wish I had someone to look at me like that.

 _Could Sirius-?_

I shook the thought away; I had made it months of being friends with Sirius without entertaining thoughts about him in a romantic way,and had shut down far too many rumors to fall for him now. It wouldn't happen. I would stop thinking about kissing him, and his grey eyes looking at me with absolute adoration, and…

Three hours later, I had had the night of my life.

Sirius had been a gentleman, while being his usual self- alongside the sudden manners was a wealth of sarcasm and bad puns, as expected. But he had also opened up some, and shown a side of himself I hadn't known existed. He was deeper than he made himself out to be, and that inner good I had seen in him shone on the surface as well. After dancing and eating and talking, Sirius and I parted from the others to roam the perimeter of the large room, shuffling alongside each other and speaking in a quiet tone so the others wouldn't hear us.

"I've been meaning to tell you," Sirius said, "I had a dream the other day, I was hoping you could help me interpret it."

I raised my eyebrows. "What happened in the dream?"

"Well," he leaned down and bumped my shoulder, "I was flying- not a broom, but _actually_ flying- and landed in the forest. I began to walk around, searching for something, and kept seeing a glimpse of something white through the trees, but I never could catch it. Then, just as I thought I might, James shows up, only he looks like one of those merpeople we read about in Bronte's class, and then he's going on and on about sausages-"

"Sirius, I think you simply ate something bad before going to bed."

He chuckled. "I made up that last part in hopes that you would laugh. No, the truth is, I kept searching for whatever that white thing was, and then- I woke up. I have no idea what it was, either."

"An animal, maybe? What did it look like?"

"I couldn't tell; it was only a white shape, flitting through the trees, but too distant and in woods too thick for me to tell."

"Hmm. Maybe it's your mind telling you there's something you're still searching for, something that will mean a lot to you, just out of reach."

"Maybe."

He cut off at the sound of a soft _pop_ drawing our attention upward. Glancing up, I saw mistletoe hanging from a hook in the wall, with one red berry having just popped and now protruding soft red haze. I spotted James and Remus glance over and then inconspicuously continue to watch to see what would happen.

Sirius seemed to notice it as well, and we looked awkwardly at each other. I could feel a kind of nervous anticipation, but it mingled with the gathering expectation of disappointment- not in his kiss, but in the lack thereof. This was something I had been thinking about all night; if he were to do what mistletoe instructed, then that would be a dream come true. But did I want this? Was this a simple mistletoe kiss, a peck on the lips? Or would it mean something to him like it would to me? His grey eyes flicked around, searching for words.

"I- um-" he stammered, looking nervous, "I don't- want to-"

Gray dismay dropped into my stomach like a pile of bricks. I felt my heart stop for a brief second and my posture sag. Quickly, I recovered enough to blurt out, "It's fine, I- I get it. I need to go soon anyways, it's late." I could still feel James and Remus watching. "Maybe just a kiss on the cheek to placate those two."

"Yeah, sure," he said, also sagging some. He leaned down and kissed me cheek, and my lips barely grazed his before he pulled away.

"I'll be going now, then," I said. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Wait," he grabbed my arm, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. Grand, in fact."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

I strolled out.

I was not in fact fine. I was sorely disappointed and could feel my heart falling to pieces in a dark pit in my stomach, but I was paying that any mind for now. I made my way back to my dorm, secretly hoping he would follow and becoming even more disappointed when he didn't.

Christmas break would come soon, and I would take that time to get over this unadmitted crush I had founded on Sirius. For now, I kind of just want to cry.

 **A/N:** I TAKE ACT TOMORROW SO I'M RUINING EVERYONE ELSE WITH ME.

 _oh gods I'm so nervous, guys_

Anyway! This chapter leads into the major plot of the story. You'll see. For now, I apologize for ruining what almost seemed perfect; please continue reading, and don't forget to review! (I assume if you've been with me this long then you've faved/followed by now)


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The tunnel was another bend away, and then it would be ten minutes till London. With one more sigh, I straightened my back and stood, changing quickly out of my robes and into the sweater from Cassi's mum and a pair of jeans. Cassi strolled back into the cart and changed as well; Pandora and Yumi were in different carts, Pandora with Xeno and Yumi with a few members of the quidditch team.

"What's wrong with you?"

Cassi's question surprised me. I met her eyes, trying to keep my own inner heartache out of my expression. "What do you mean?" But even I could hear how listless I sounded.

"You've been moping since Friday. It's break, you're usually excited by now. What's wrong?"

I shook my head, turning my eyes to the window. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Will you tell me later?"

"Not likely."

"It's Sirius, isn't it?"

I looked up in shock. "What makes you say that?"

"You haven't spoken to him or mentioned him this whole trip. You keep starting to say something, and then stopping and getting sad. What happened at that Christmas party?"

I looked back out the window. "He was really romantic, and then we walked under mistletoe that _he_ put there, and… And he didn't want to kiss me."

" _What?"_

I met her eyes and shrugged. "It's fine, Cassi, really. I needed something to prompt me to get over him anyway. That worked for it."

"Hazel-"

"No. It's done, it's over with."

"You cared for him so much, though."

I shook my head. "And I shouldn't have. You told me that from the start."

She sighed. "You're right, but that was before I saw how upset you are without him."

"I'll be okay; there are other blokes."

Cassi looked at me with a surprised smile. "Who are you thinking of?"

"No one for certain yet," I lied, and Cassi caught on to it. The truth was I was still thinking of Sirius, but I so adamantly didn't want to talk about it that I was willing to fabricate a crush for her to dwell on.

"Ooh, I bet it's Bartram, or- or Remus! It's Remus, isn't it?"

"Maybe," I said, and she grinned.

"I knew it! You two are _perfect_ for each other- you're both smart and rule-following, and- oh! That's why you were so defensive about Gryffindors! I've been blind the whole time…"

She carried on about how Remus was perfect for me and I for him, not knowing even half the truth of the matter. I only hoped she would keep this between us; the last thing I needed was for Remus to awkwardly confront me about it. I excused myself from the cart and traveled down to the Gryffindor compartment. The Marauders were split into two groups; in one cart, Sirius and Peter sat with a couple of other Gryffindors, and farther down, Lily and James sat with Remus. I entered that cart and sat next to Remus.

"Hazel!" Lily greeted me. "We're almost to London, what are you doing down here?"

"I wanted to get my hugs in now, before I left."

"Good," James said, " I needed to talk to you anyway."

"About what?"

He leaned forward some, and then glanced toward the door. I followed his gaze to see Sirius approach the door, look at me, and then shake his head and stride off. "That," James answered.

I sat back. "What?"

"Since the Christmas party, you and Sirius both have been… Weird. He won't talk about it; he just says it's fine."

I felt confused and startled by this, and barely managed to babble, "I don't- why is he upset? He's the one who walked us to the mistletoe, and then said he didn't want to kiss me. I should be upset about this, not him."

"You haven't spoken to him since, though."

Lily elbowed James, her green eyes flashing at him. "James, can't you see? She's upset about it. Clearly, Hazel's unhappy about Sirius rejecting her, and that's why she refuses to speak to him."

"It isn't like the bloke hates her, though-"

"But unrequited love is incredibly painful," Lily said quietly, but not quietly enough. I stood abruptly and left without a word; I would explain when I returned, or not, I didn't care right now. I just didn't want to listen to Lily and James gossip about how pathetic I am. And besides, what right had she to speak of the "pain of unrequited love", when she was the subject of it herself? Severus had been in love with her for years, it seemed, and she had never given him the time of day, instead preferring the snobbish James Potter.

I had just reached the Ravenclaw compartment again when Remus caught me and pulled me into a hug, saying, "Sirius is a daft tit sometimes. Don't let it get you down."

"He fancies any girl who isn't me, Remus. It's hard not to be affected by that."

"You aren't just any girl, Hazel," Remus reminded me, and I sighed, withdrawing from his hug. I felt a small smile grow.

"Thanks, Remus. You're a good friend."

The same smile mirrored on his face, he nodded. "As are you. Now, go home and drink some cider and forget about the utterly brainless Gryffindor boy who doesn't know what's good for him."

I chuckled softly and nodded. "Sure thing, Remus. Have a good break."

He hugged me once more and then pulled away, returning to the Gryffindors as I did to Cassi.

It was going to be a long break.

"Mum!"

Leaving Cassi's mother's car behind, I raced forward and embraced my mother, holding her close to me. My mother held me in return; I could tell by the way she squeezed my shoulder that she knew something was wrong, but that would be dealt with later.

"Oh, I missed you!" She greeted me, and then pulled back. "Let's get your stuff inside; I've got quail soup on the stove and that good honey-wheat bread you like."

I nodded and brought my luggage inside, leaving it just inside the living room and joining Mum in the dining room to eat. She asked a million questions, and I told her of all my adventures so far this term, including the people they involved. She knew I wasn't a troublemaker but also that I liked to have my adventures. She finally asked the question I knew she had been wanting to ask:

"So, you have yet to tell me about this Sirius fellow who keeps showing up in your letters. Who is he?"

At that, I finally wilted, confessing everything, even admitting some things I hadn't yet told myself. It was more than I would tell Cassi, or even Sirius; there were some things you could only truly share with your mum, and mine was one of those women who you could talk to like that. It was good to have her around.

When it was all said, night had long since fallen, and I was exhausted. I helped Mum clean, even after her insistence that she let me rest after such a long term, and then wandered toward my room with my trunk. It was good to be home; a wistful sigh carried me through the doorway as I looked at the soft, low-set bed with its patterned quilts and soft blankets, and at the dark cherrywood furnishings and Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling and various posters and pictures hanging from the walls. The pinewood floors held no dust, meaning Mum had been coming back in here to keep the room clean, as she did when she missed me. My desk sat centered in the far wall, next to my bed and in front of the window, and on it was a small dark blue package.

I rested my trunk against the wall next to my bookshelf and strode over to the desk, calling out, "Mum, what's this?"

"A package arrived for you just before you got here, sweetheart. Forgot to mention that."

"Yes, you did," I murmured as I saw who the sender was.

Sirius.

Against my own inner wishes, I set down the package and changed into a soft gray nightgown that fell to my thighs, and let my hair down from the high ponytail I had worn it in all day. It was good to be able to relax finally. I laid down in my bed, turning out my lanterns, and tried to sleep.

But after hours of tossing and turning, I finally stood and traveled to my desk. Right as I touched the package, I heard a soft whisper in my head:

 _Hazel. Please, get your magic parchment._

My eyes closed as a breath of pain washed through me, and I exhaled slowly. _Why is he awake at this hour? And how did he know I am, too?_ My eyes drifted down to where I had forgotten to remove the ring he had given me; as mad as I was, I was still wearing it, out of some kind of bittersweet heartache, or otherwise insane masochism, I couldn't tell which. Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, I turned on a few of the lanterns and found my parchment and looked to see he had already written on it:

 _I'm sorry. I said something the other night that didn't come out how I meant it to. Please talk to me._

Grabbing a muggle pen, I wrote back:

 **Give me some time, Sirius. I'll speak with you after the break, or possibly at James' house if I can make it there.**

 _Hazel…_

 _I really do mean that it was simply a misunderstanding. In the moment, I panicked. I couldn't think of the right words. I can't think of them now-_

 **Go to bed. I am.**

 _-and I understand why you're angry, I only wish you would speak with me._

At that, I faltered some, and then quickly scrawled,

 **I'm not angry. I'll talk to you after the break. I want to be friends again.**

"Mischief managed."

 **A/N:** LET THE ANGST BEGIN.

We're on Mardi Gras break for the week, so expect more constant updates. Thanks for reading!


	30. Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

I woke in the morning to a frantic pounding on my door.

"Hazel, come quick! There's a package addressed to you, and it's _moving!"_

I leapt out of bed and rushed into the living room, where a large crate sat with a few holes poked in it and a tag reading: _To Miss Hazel Drummond, from Professor Kettleburn - Treat him well._ I grinned at Mum.

"This is your Christmas present," I told her, "A little something to remind you of me when I'm gone. Go on, then, open it."

I had decided on Perry; Professor Kettleburn said to pick one of the boys, as girls would sell for more, and Perry was a lap-puffskein, so it made the most sense to go with him. Mum opened the package and the full-grown puffskein, still quite small, bounced out to Mum's feet and began humming. I chuckled.

"He likes you!"

Her eyes were big. "What is he?"

"He's a puffskein," I told her, picking up the custard-colored fluff-ball, "Named Perry. I've been raising him all semester; they're very easy to take care of, and they'll eat just about anything. This one is very calm and cuddly, and will curl up next to you like a cat, but if you leave for a long time he'll be okay. Just leave some food out. A low-maintenance pet I thought you would like. Just be sure not to let any muggles see him."

Mum took a deep breath. "All this wizarding stuff is mind-boggling. To think, there's a whole world I know nothing of- with creatures like this!" She took him from me, holding him in her arms, where he hummed louder. "Perry, you said his name is?"

"Yes, Perry the Puffskein."

She smiled down at him, scratching the top of his head while his big eyes stared up at her, and said, "I like him. Certainly better than the six-legged salamander you brought home first year."

With a laugh, I left her to her puffskein, excusing myself to go get dressed. Once I had on a pair of high-waisted black jeans with a white button-down and my oxford's, I stepped out again and freshened up in the bath. By the time I was ready for the day, my hair in a loose ponytail and pulled to one side, Mum had breakfast ready. We sat down and ate, and then an owl I didn't know came and pecked at the window. The owl was a small, beautiful gray and white bird with green eyes and a letter in its beak. I opened the window and it dropped the letter, pecked under its wing, and then flew off again. The letter was marked with handwriting I didn't recognize, a messy scrawl reading "To Hazel Drummond, 972 Pygmy Lane, Oxford". I opened it and began to read.

 _Hazel,_

 _I remain utterly confounded at how completely dense you and Sirius both are. Your form of communicating with each other continues to prove insufficient and yet neither of you are willing to confess your feelings. It is on this principle that I insist upon your presence at my home Christmas Eve. I have the means to transport you here and back and have already paid for the tickets (enclosed) for you to travel by train. Should you not arrive, I will personally march into your home as a stag and eat all of your furniture and destroy your kitchen. I believe neither of us desire that._

 _You may wonder why I am so adamant about this. The boy is a shadow of his former self. He's quite dramatic at times, especially when someone seems to hate him- that someone, in this case, being you. Since he's arrived at my home, he's been this quiet, soft, half-dead ghost of a dog- he shifted and refuses to change back- hiding under my bed. Therefore I request that you visit and make amends. I fear nothing else will save our friend, and whatever happened at that party, he still values you highly and very much desires your friendship._

 _Now then, my parents are expecting you as well, under the premise that you are one of our closest friends. You've met my mother and father before; my father is generally very laid-back, but my mother carries no fear of putting someone in their place. Should she believe you stood her son(s) up, a wild destructive stag will not be your home's only visitor. As I understand it, your mother is a muggle, and I believe she will be quite alarmed by some of the things she may see if you continue to leave Sirius in this state._

 _Consider it, please- he's my best friend. I don't know what happened or how or why or when, but somehow, he cares very deeply for you, and I hate to see him like this. Please, Hazel. You're the only one who can fix this._

 _-Prongs_

Then, in smaller, slightly neater font at the bottom, Sirius had written:

 _P.S. I'm not as torn up about it as he says. As you know, I have changed back and forth between dog and human. You don't actually have to come; Euphemia is the sweetest witch and the worst she'll do is write a strongly-worded letter, and I won't let James bully you into coming to see me._

 _Though I would appreciate your company._

The last part had been written over an erased _I miss you,_ and I felt mingled exasperation, frustration, and warmth.

These Gryffindors. They'll get you. They'll tear you apart.

A week later, I was in Cassi's home, where Yumi was staying, and the three of us were sitting with Lyra and gossiping and wrapping presents and eating some of the food Cassi's mother had prepared to snack on.

"And then James Potter is continuing to fawn over Lily Evans, when it's obvious half the girls on the team- even in the house- are into him," Lyra was saying. It was funny to hear her gossip about Gryffindors. "You know he's our best player, and hardly ever shows up to practice? Roland said if Potter shows up more often, he'll be captain next year."

"Really?" I commented, "He's not really the type, is he?"

"He is," she assured me as I tied a bow on top of the box I had for my cousin Willem, though I wasn't sure what he liked and had simply bought food. Lyra continued, "He's troublesome, and can be an arrogant prick sometimes, but he's a good friend and a good teacher. He's pulled the team together several times when Roland was having problems with his girlfriend Kyla- they fight all the time because she's got an eye for another seventh year."

"Kyla Wickham?" Yumi clarified, and Lyra nodded. Yumi chuckled. "She's been trying to duel me since first year because I accidentally stepped on her cat. I'm not surprised she's involved in such drama."

They continued to gossip, until Cassi remembered something and said, "Ooh, Hazel! You were supposed to tell us- what were your plans for Christmas eve? You said you had something to do that day but never said what."

"Tell us," Lyra said impatiently. I sighed.

"I have, apparently, ruined Sirius Black's cheer and good spirit and James Potter is forcing me to go to his house that day and reconcile with Sirius. If I don't, then-" I couldn't right well tell them he was an animagus, "Then his mother might ruin my life."

Cassi tilted her head. "Sirius's mother?"

"No, James'- Sirius stays at the Potters' house."

"Why?"

"Because… They're best friends. Sirius likes the Potter family." I nearly blurted out that I had met James' parents, and only just stopped myself in time.

"So how did you upset Sirius so badly?" Lyra asked. "he's usually the most cheerful person on the team."

I leaned back against the recliner I sat in front of, grabbing another biscuit from the tray on the floor next to us. I stared at it, counting the chocolate chips, and answered, "He invited me to a private Christmas party as… As his date." How much did I want to tell them? "It didn't go well, as he didn't actually want a romantic evening and when things almost got that way, it got weird and I left. Now he apparently thinks I hate him."

Lyra gaped at me, and Yumi's dark eyes widened. Cassi quickly added, "He's Hazel's charms partner, and they've known each other since second year- it makes sense he would invite her."

"But how did things get 'romantic'?" Yumi queried.

"Mistletoe."

"Ah."

"Look," Lyra said, pulling twine into a knot on top of a gift, "Just go to James' house and say you have no reason to be responsible for Sirius's emotional well-being and that James should take care of it himself if he's that concerned. It isn't your fault Sirius invited you, nor is it your fault Sirius made things weird. Did you _want_ to kiss him?"

How honest could I be? "Yeah..?"

"Hazel!" Yumi exclaimed. "You never even mentioned that! no wonder Bartram was so angry about Sirius asking where you were that day. You fancy him!"

"I just wanted to know what it's like to kiss him!" I said defensively. I tried to hold down my grin. "He has… Nice lips."

"In that case, go to James' house and find Sirius and just kiss him," Lyra advised, and I chuckled.

"I'm not sure that's the best idea, Lyra. He doesn't want me to, so I'll just apologize for taking out the miscommunication on him and we'll move on and be friends. I'll also get some food while I'm there. I've never been to Godric's Hollow, but I hear it's nice. We'll see what happens."

 **A/N:** I know I promised more recent updates, but naturally a break from school does not entail the break from stress that it should entail.

To amend this, have two chapters in one night!


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-One

Broken and alone, I curled up in the tall grass and held still, tears falling silently. My entire body shook and ached, and there was nothing left to hold me together. As the shock kicked in and the adrenaline wore off, my vision began to cloud, and I knew I was going to pass out.

Then a distant white light flickered through the trees, and through the dark haze, I couldn't be sure if it was real- but it was there.

 _Seven hours earlier…_

The train started off with a _click-clack_ and a jolt as it jerked down the track and then smoothed out. The cart was different from the Hogwarts Express, in that it was only a large room with benches around the edge. Noon's bright sun beamed down on the train and I looked around at the passengers, wondering which ones were actually witches or wizards and which were truly muggles. I reached up, holding the crimson-and-gold striped scarf Sirius had given me- _to remember them by-_ and felt an odd sense of foreboding. My eyes flitted upward; at the end of one bench was a woman clad in dark clothes with wild black hair and heavily-lidded dark eyes, with a lace glove on one hand. Next to her was a man who looked quite a few years her senior, with a stout jaw and graying-brown hair. Several scars crossed his face, and his lips were thin and animalistic. Something about the two threw me off.

Putting them out of my mind, I began to read the book I had brought with me, a muggle mystery story my mother had fallen in love with during the term. It was an Agatha Christie novel, and though I had only read a few, it was easy to follow, and I was soon lost in the pages.

Early sunset began four hours later, when I finished the book. With a sigh, I put it back in my bag and began to look out the window at the swiftly darkening landscape. Trees lined the tracks, barely visible in the sudden night, and I calculated quickly. The train would stop at Bideford, and then James said to take a coach to Godric's Hollow and included how to reach one.

But the train never reached the station.

Just as I noticed the movement, the woman with the wild hair revealed a wand and something distinctly broke with a prominent _snap._ The train squealed to a halt and the lights dimmed, beginning to flicker. I reached into the sleeve of my black peacoat for my wand, and just as I grabbed it, the woman turned to me and cast expelliarmus. Another wizard farther down the cart shouted a curse, but she dodged it as I dove for my wand. The door to the cart opened and the woman shouted the spell to create fire, sending it to the end of the train cart with the other wizard, and then she apparated. I saw her pale face appear in the trees outside as the cart began to fill with smoke.

Adrenaline and the inability to process what was happening mingled together, leaving me to my instincts. Among many muggles, I struggled to reach the door, pushing through the crowd until I reached the opening and fell into the snow-blanketed night. The door slammed shut just after I crossed out of it, leaving the other muggles trapped within as the metal morphed and twisted.

Desperately, I tried to remember a counter-curse to fix it, or to open the door, or-

Screams filled with night with the odor of burning flesh, one of those screams mine under the ringing of my ears. Glass broke as people began punching their way out of the train, and then I heard a curse that I had never imagined I would hear in use:

" _Avada kedavra!"_

The green bolt flew forward and struck a middle-aged brown-haired man, leaving him dead. As he hit the snow, I recognized his blank face- the auror the papers had been crooning over for his successful work against Voldemort. Then it hit me.

 _These are death-eaters._

My resolve to fight wilted in the face of battle. Utter terror flooded me; my fight or flight instinct chose flight as I sprinted away through the snow, hearing it crunch under foot. Blindly, I raced through the fresh flakes into the forest, remembering only too late that I had seen the wild-haired witch disappear into these same trees. I froze several meters into the forest, where I could still hear the screams and smell the charring flesh on the wind.

Something dashed through the trees up ahead and I raced off in a different direction, fear and desperation pumping my legs. It was once I was too close to an odd-shaped tree that I recognized it as the scar-faced man and backed up, freezing. He turned to me and grinned, revealing wolf-like teeth. He stepped closer and I whipped out my wand, shouting, " _Petrificus totalus!"_

He fell with an expression of shock, landing paralyzed in the snow. I backed up, immobilized by my own fear, only to feel thin hands grab my shoulders.

"Well!" exclaimed a high-pitched, screechy voice, "Aren't you the _bravest_ little witch. Come all this way to fight the death-eaters, have you? Young as you are?"

She stepped around in front of me and I felt my breathing come short. The wild-haired witch.

"And what's your name, then?"

"I- I didn't come to fight," I stuttered, "I wanted to find you- to join you."

She touched one fingertip to the corner of her mouth. "That so? And what's your name?"

"Hazel. Hazel- Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" She repeated. "That's my sister's betrothed's name." She cocked her head to the side. "What house are you in? You're too young to be out of Hogwarts yet."

"Slytherin," I answered in a tone of false pride.

She nodded once, eyes narrowed, and then grinned. "You're _lying."_

"Stupefy!"

The curse flew from my wand as I sprinted through the trees.

"You insolent _slag! I'll kill you myself!"_

Curses bounced off trees around me, knocking some of them down, as I participated in the marathon for my life. I could hear her chasing me and it propelled me forward faster as the trees began to narrow. One large spruce fell and in front of me, colliding with the ground just as I reached it, and I leapt over it, feeling my legs tangle in the wide-sweeping branches. My body twisted as my leg caught around one branch and I glimpsed the woman catching up, a dark figure interrupting the snow and flying through the pines. I struggled to get free, stepping back only to have that leg slip and fall. I screamed and grabbed the branch my leg was caught in, looking down to see a far cliff, snow distant at the bottom. My head swam; I couldn't tell how far it was from here to the bottom.

Turning back, I struggled to clamber back over the tree, but my leg was painfully wedged between three branches with my foot having landed in a hole in the trunk. A cackle echoed through the woods and I tried harder to get free.

The wild-haired witch approached the tree with a smirk and I stared up at her open-mouthed. "Stuck, are you?"

I glared.

"I can get you out of that mess, you know- but I don't think you'll like it if I do. I wonder what would happen if I were to use the cruciatus curse on you _right now?_ Or- even more fun- make a polyjuice potion from your hair and return to Hogwarts as _you?"_

My glare intensified and I felt my foot free itself, a _pop_ signalling the ankle breaking. With an adrenaline-induced, surprising angry tone, I growled loudly, "You'll never have me."

Ripping my leg free, I fell down the cliff.

For a breath-takingly long moment, I fell. I had no time to think, no time to consciously choose- but a quiet awareness that I may die entered my mind, and the images my brain produced flashed by quickly: Mum, Cassi, Archibald, Yumi, winning against Hufflepuff, grey eyes, black dogs, green trees, the Marauder's map, Remus's scarred smile, Lily's kind green eyes, _grey eyes-_ a smooth voice saying I'm the _Dog Star, Sirius Black._

Then I hit a thin sheet of ice that shattered beneath me and fell through a few centimeters of soft snow to slightly firmer snow beneath, and stayed there, windless and certain I had died or was dying. My vision was black though the cold stung my eyes, and I couldn't feel anything except for _cold_ and _pain._

"Do you think she survived?" A male voice asked from above, by where I was vaguely aware must be the top of the cliff.

"She's dead for sure. Just to be safe- _avada kedavra!"_

A green light flickered in the haze around me, and any semblance of life faded from me.

 ***cackles evilly***


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two

The dead moth fell off of me as I sat up in the snow, my eyes aching and my entire body feeling broken. My ankle and leg were definitely broken in multiple places, and the arm I had landed on had been abraded by the ice that fractured. I could feel the frozen blood on my face and side as well, and saw several shards of glass-like ice in my clothes. But staying here wasn't an option.

It was pitch dark when I woke, aside from the light of a half-moon through the forest of close-growing evergreens that formed a thatched ceiling of needles. I had no concept of time, and nothing to hint to me what hour it may be. Pulling myself to my feet and wincing with pain, I started off through the forest away from the cliff.

Before long, I found a frozen pine bough that worked nicely as a walking stick and used it for assistance. Many times, I slipped and fell during the hopeless journey through the forest. It went steadily downhill, and before long I was so numb that I didn't feel the falls and my broken leg was only a dull, cold ache. Shivering stole my energy and my stomach soon began with sharp hunger pangs. In desperation to placate it, I stopped occasionally to eat some of the snow, which helped a little but not much.

It was once I felt all my hope had withered that I spotted an opening through the trees where a dark surface cut through- a road?

With my last fragments of hope, I stumbled forward, limping heavily and feeling exhaustion set in. My head grew light and dizzy with the sudden movement, my vision beginning to tunnel, but I pressed on until I reached the opening.

A river.

I vaguely remembered one cutting between Bideford and Godric's Hollow and glanced at the sky. There's Polaris- Godric's Hollow is south of Bideford. I began following the snowy banks of the iced-over river, letting it guide me south. I had just finally spotted distant golden lights of a town when my legs gave out. With a yelp, I fell to the snow and felt tears well in my eyes as my stick clattered to the frozen river.

"No!" I cried out, beginning to pull myself through with my arms, but at this point the exhaustion had my muscles screaming. I couldn't go any further.

 _What can I do? What is there to do? There's no way to survive this- there's nothing!- oh God oh God oh God-_

A spell came to me through my desperation and fear. With a flick of my wand, I sent a flare into the sky, and then crawled into the underbrush under a tall-growing spruce with a few lower branches, under which I found shelter from the snow.

Broken and alone, I curled up in the tall grass and held still, tears falling silently. My entire body shook and ached, and there was nothing left to hold me together. As the shock kicked in and the adrenaline wore off, my vision began to cloud, and I knew I was going to pass out.

Then a distant white light flickered through the trees, and through the dark haze, I couldn't be sure if it was real- but it was there.

The white light grew closer- a stag. I kept my eyes open. _James?_

The stag turned and ran back through the snow, its ethereal hooves not moving the snow beneath it. _A patronus…_

The world around me grew darker, the colors washing out, and it was only as my head hit the snow that I realized I had lost consciousness.

 **A/N:** Due to a weird editing thing, this chapter came out way shorter than I thought, and so you get multiple chapters today. Don't forget to review!

 _(no really, I have a weird thing about the number 23, it follows me, and having 23 reviews throws me off but reviewing anonymously for myself just feels wrong and deceitful. idk, I'm a strange one, lol.)_

Thanks for reading!


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

Blurry gold light greeted my eyes, along with a familiar voice saying, "These are dark times when students are attacked. Hazel is lucky to be alive."

A door slamming jolted me upward and I cried out at sudden pain bursting through my skull and in my leg. Hands pushed me back down, a female shushing me. The feeling of hands on my shoulders caused a feeling of sudden danger. "No-" I murmured, unable to get louder, "Don't- don't touch me!"

"Hush, dear one," the female said, "You are safe."

My eyes focused enough as I struggled to get free of her hold that I spotted James Potter's hazel eyes. _Safe._ My brain calmed and I laid there, panting. "What happened? Where am I?"

"You have been the victim of miraculous and horrible circumstances," the first familiar voice spoke again. I looked over- Dumbledore. What was he doing here? Where is 'here'? He continued to speak. "A death eater attacked the train you were in."

"Two," I replied, still gasping. "Two."

"Two?" he repeated. "Who were they? Do you know?"

I shook my head. "A man and- and a woman. The man's name was Fenrir."

Dumbledore's blue eyes glinted in the firelight coming from the mantle. Slowly, I recognized the Potters' living room. "Fenrir Grayback," Dumbledore said. "The werewolf. The woman- what did she look like?"

My mind flashed back to the wild-haired witch and I winced, feeling my brain flood with fear. I wanted to bury myself under the quilt laid over me. It took a great force of will to stammer a description of her.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Dumbledore said. "A dangerous death-eater. Hazel, the ministry will interrogate you about what happened. I ask that you tell me first, as the attack on you is a threat to Hogwarts, and the ministry may have you swear to silence."

"I will," I said, "But first, I- may I have a moment?"

Euphemia had left the room, and returned now with a bowl of soup. I spotted James run into the room, and he looked at me in amazement. "Hazel, you're awake! Are you alright?"

It gave me some strength to have someone familiar, even if it was James Potter. "I broke my leg and ankle and I'm all scraped up, you beetle-brain. Do I seem alright?"

He grinned. "You sound alright. Not too destroyed, then?"

I shook my head, but it was a lie. Euphemia approached and set down the bowl to help me to a sitting position, propping my broken leg on the coffee table. She turned to me. "We'll call in a nurse when we can. No one was willing to work Christmas day."

"Christmas?" I repeated. "What time is it?" I struggled to stand. "I need to go home-"

"Quiet down," Euphemia said, gently tugging me back. "Your mother is in a nearby hotel. She's alright, and will be back as soon as we can ring her to tell her you've wakened."

I took a deep breath. "Yes, ma'am. Will you pass me the soup?"

She grabbed the bowl and a wooden dinner tray, setting both in my lap with the bowl on the tray. I leaned forward and swallowed down a spoonful; it was scorching hot, but it warmed me as it went down and under the burning taste buds it was actually quite savory. I spooned it down quickly, as tidily as I could.

"Good, you're hungry," Euphemia said. "That's a good sign. Would you like more?"

I wiped my mouth on the napkin. "Please?"

She nodded once and left the room. James sat in an armchair and Dumbledore took a seat himself and said, "Now, I understand you are weary and likely still afraid to speak of it, but it is in earnest that I ask you to tell me now what happened."

With a breathless, fearful look, I gazed blankly at nothing, reliving the past night in my mind. I had never felt such a wealth of desperation and fear and pain, all in one night. With a deep, calming breath, I looked up at James for a brief moment of moral support. He nodded and I turned to Dumbledore.

It took an hour to recount the tale in detail, with my stuttering over the difficult bits. Dumbledore listened quietly and calmly, his face refusing to betray his true opinion of these events as his blue eyes exposed a sliver of emotion. When I spoke of Bellatrix's threat to Hogwarts via impersonation, Dumbledore's eyes flashed with alarm; through the rest of the story, they maintained a quiet pity and a definitive calm.

"You should know there are those who are actively working against these witches and wizards who do these things. It's an accident of circumstance that you were put through this ordeal, and I request that you not let it place in you a fear of the world. Fear is healthy, but must be conquered- do not let it defeat you. You came to me recently asking about a phoenix; know that when the time comes that you may learn the truth of that, you will learn also how you may fight back. For now," he stood, "I must be leaving. You're in good care with the Potters, and there are heavy protection charms placed around this property. It is likely the death-eaters believe you are dead and will not come after you, but caution is wise even in the safest of times. Farewell, Miss Drummond. Send an owl should you need me."

He apparated away, and I finished my cooling bowl of soup in silence. James looked up at me. "When Sirius hears about this, he'll never let you out of his sight."

I shrugged, too weary to think of a reply. Mum had shown up earlier, but I had still been talking to Dumbledore. I asked James to go retrieve her and leave me be for some time. I needed my mum and some time alone.

I woke in the morning on the Potters' fold-out couch with my mum asleep next to me and sat up; I wished I could walk outside and breathe some fresh air, but my leg was still broken for now. Why Dumbledore, for all his might and magic, couldn't heal that for me was beyond my comprehension. I had a cast of tightly-wound linen around the leg and a crutch, however, and used both to reach the kitchen, where I heard someone up.

I reached the doorframe to see someone I hadn't expected to be up this early, or to see so soon. The sight left my eyes wide.

"Sirius."

 **A/N:** WHAT SHALL HAPPEN NOW.

Two updates in one night because both of these chapters are short, enjoy!


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Four

He was wearing only green-and-blue plaid sleep pants, leaving his slender, pale upper body exposed. He was surprisingly toned, with a fine layer of black hair over his chest and some on his stomach as well, which was strangely good-looking on him. His dark hair was in sleepy disarray, and his grey eyes widened at the sight of me.

"Hazel! Are you alright!?"

The stress of what had happened caught me then and there, under his grey gaze. "Sirius," I said, and my voice cracked. I felt myself start to waver and he dropped the apple he had grabbed and rushed over, catching me.

"What is it?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

I broke down then, tears pouring from my eyes in a torrent. He sat down right there and placed me in his lap, wrapping his arms gently around me and holding me close to him. As I sobbed heavily, hearing those screams again, he began to pet my hair and kissed the top of my head occasionally. Trembling and feeling an agonizing pain in my side from crying so forcefully, I stayed in Sirius's lap partially because I couldn't move, partially because I didn't care anymore about how it might seem, and to a small degree because I was drawing infinite comfort from having him hold me like this. Being enveloped completely in someone with good intent and power to protect soothed some part of me that had remained restless before.

The sun had risen completely above the tree-line outside by the time I began to calm down, at which point I started to babble to Sirius all that had happened. Occasionally, he would stop my story-telling to squeeze me close to him and kiss my forehead, and then he would look at me with pained grey eyes while I continued. As I finished the story, I continued to ramble about the hopelessness and loss I was feeling, as well as the trauma of those screams. The chase in the woods had been terrifying, but it was the burning humans that had truly horrified me- the smell, the screams… All because they were muggles.

Eventually, I was calm enough to say, "Thank you, Sirius."

"For what?" he asked, his deep voice a soothing rumble.

"Being here."

He held me tighter to him, and I felt his bare chest under my hands and sought out his heartbeat. It didn't take long to find it, the most calming sound of them all. _Tha-dum, tha-dum, tha-dum…_

"My cousin!"

The shout came from the opposite end of the house and nearly shocked me out of my skin. I stood quickly with my crutch, leaving Mum in wonder on the couch, and traipsed down the hall with assistance from my crutch. In James' room, Sirius was standing and fuming while James looked up from the book he had.

"What about your cousin, Sirius?" James asked.

"Bellatrix Lestrange was Bellatrix Black- I intentionally forgot about her because she's a terrible person." Sirius saw me in the doorway open-mouthed and raced over, hugging me to him. His voice dropped low. "I'm so sorry, Hazel. My family did this to you."

"Sirius, it's alright- it's not your fault."

"Maybe not, but I'm still sorry."

He sighed heavily, and then someone knocked on the front door of the house. As Fleamont was out working and Euphemia had left for the grocer, James leapt up and rushed past us to the door down the hall. Sirius ended the hug at James announcing the arrival of the nurse. After hobbling back down the hall, I saw a middle-aged woman with once-auburn hair standing in the living room. I laid down on the couch again, and the woman set straight to work, interrogating me about how this happened- no details except how the leg broke- and my level of pain. She healed the scrapes with a wave of her wand, saying they would be tender scars but wouldn't be infected and would eventually fade. Afterward, she turned to my leg, which was bent at an awkward angle.

"This'll hurt," she said, and then without hesitation popped the bones back into place. A shout of pain escaped me as she did, and then she waved her wand over my leg. I felt something solidify and a sharp pain appeared in six different places, two on my foot and four on my leg.

"There," she announced. "All better, but it'll take a few days for the bone to completely heal. The process is sped up, but I don't want you up moving around any more than you have to." She turned to James. "And I expect _you'll_ be paying?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. How much?"

"For this? Five galleons."

He passed over the money, and I looked at him in surprise. "You didn't have to, I could've-"

"Mum'll pay me back if I ask," he said, and I rolled my eyes and thanked him anyway.

We packed up that evening and Mum drove us back to Oxford. Reaching home at two in the morning was like coming to a whole new place. I didn't want to be alone with a muggle as my only protection; I hated to think of her that way, but my mum wasn't the most competent defender, and she was already a target for death eaters just by being a muggle. But then, Perry was waiting for us, and I had already faced off the death eaters once- Mum needed my protection.

A happy surprise was waiting for us when we arrived in the form of a small box from Cassi. Apparently, she and Yumi had gone about and collected photographs. There were several from my birthday, and of the quidditch team and its victories, but my favorite was a carefully-snapped photo of Sirius smiling in profile. None of them moved, meaning they had been taken with a muggle camera, but they were still of beautiful quality.

Clutching my photos and my Gryffindor scarf from Sirius, I strode to my room and locked the door. I taped the photographs to my wall above my bed, so I could see them. I looked at them more closely- Lily and James dancing; Sirius and Remus and James and Peter sitting together fighting over the last piece of cake; Yumi holding up the snitch in victory; Cassi, Yumi, Pandora and I sitting around the fireplace; Xeno and Pandora holding hands and smiling at each other in Hogsmeade; the Ravenclaw quidditch team walking back from practice; and lastly, Sirius smiling at me with a glow in his eyes while I smirked at him in a way that showed I was both irritated and amused at whatever he had just said.

I remembered that moment- my birthday party, when Sirius had said, "Seventeen looks good on you." I argued that I couldn't possibly look different, and he said, "Any age looks good on you, Hazel Drummond." And then smiled at me honestly while I gave him a look of disbelief. Cassi said she found the pictures from various sources, and gave me the ones she said she thought most would be liked by me.

There was hope yet. I still had friends, and family, and those who cared about me. I would still carry the shock and weight of what had passed, but not so drastically, as now I realized something important.

Dumbledore was right. Fear is natural, but I can't let it conquer me- if I do, I'll never conquer them. And I had a life worth fighting for, _friends_ worth fighting for- and so I would. Next time, I would be prepared.

 **A/N:** Fear not, the angst is never done. It's just that hope is a fun thing sometimes. Anyway, I've had technological complications (somewhat in the form of re-finding the Sims 2, lol) that have prohibited me from updating as much as I wanted to. Anyway! Thanks for reading, sorry I'm crap at updating, and happy "leap day"!

 **thatkindofgreen:** The curse hit the moth on her shoulder, not her. That's how she survived.


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

 _Smoke. Fire. Flames- screaming! Burning! They're all burning-!_

 _Snow. Cold; windless- screaming-! My screaming-! Ground. Cackling. Legs giving out; ground collapsing; blackness-_

I shot up in bed in a cold sweat as a shudder rippled through me. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees as my eyes stared hollow into the fading darkness. A muted predawn blue pressed against the blinds. It was almost funny to think that the last time I had gotten up for a trip to London it had been in jolly spirits and friendly quidditch rivalry to go to Hogwarts. Now it was to go tell the Ministry about the most traumatizing night of my life.

After a few minutes of trying to shake the nightmare (which doesn't work as well when the nightmare is a memory), I finally pulled myself to my feet. I started a kettle of tea and then hopped in the shower to rinse off quickly, more as a spiritual than hygienic need. When I exited the shower, I returned to my room and found the outfit Mum and I had decided would be appropriate for this- a long-sleeved black button-down with a peter-pan collar and a waist-high black-and-white striped skirt, with pantyhose and black flats. I had just finished tying my hair into a bun when the kettle began shrieking.

Flickers of the nightmare- the memory- flashed into my mind, swarming my consciousness. In a frantic rush, I raced down the hall, nearly tripping when the skirt was tighter than I expected, and moved the kettle off the burner. The hot glass singed my hands, but I didn't care as I turned off the burner and placed my hands on the counter, breathing hard. I only realized how intense my expression was when my face began to ache from it, and I smoothed it as best I could, trying to take some calming breaths as my brow wrinkled with distress.

A sudden _pop!_ startled me, making me jump back from the counter. But a glance out the window showed Dumbledore crossing the street to the house, and I took a deep breath. _Calm, calm. Breathe._ This was no way to live.

Twenty minutes later, I had eaten breakfast and drank some tea. Dumbledore quietly observed the living room and introduced himself to my mother, who came out and fussed over me until she was content that I would be alright. I didn't feel alright, but it wouldn't help anything to say so. So I thought.

Mum took my breakfast dishes and kissed my cheek to say goodbye, and I crossed to Dumbledore.

"We'll be apparating," he said. "Take my arm."

I couldn't explain to him why I knew how that worked, but I took his arm and when we landed I was as breathless as the first time, though not as shocked. We arrived on a street in London, and Dumbledore led the way to a telephone booth, dialed a certain number once within, and then the booth shot downward like an elevator. Dumbledore stood like a rock next to me, and I focused on evening my breathing with his. Meanwhile, my heart pounded in my chest; I knew I wouldn't be in trouble, given the circumstances, but I had done magic in front of muggles.

As soon as we stepped into the dark-tiled main corridor of the ministry, a Daily Prophet journalist began flanking us, asking questions.

"Don't answer," Dumbledore instructed. I nodded once and continued along next to him, following his feet as he led me through the ministry. A winding pathway I couldn't follow was our route, and soon we ended up in what seemed to be the basement- I couldn't remember how we had gotten here. Dumbledore led me into a large room with circular seating, most of the seats filled with ministry officials and a few members of the press allowed in. I took a seat in the chair in the middle, as indicated, and Dumbledore moved to a seat where I could see him peripherally to my left. The Minister of Magic, Glanmor Gatton, sat with his golden blond hair stylishly pulled back, and his clear, pale blue eyes stared down at me from a lined face. He rose to his feet.

"We are gathered here due to a most heinous crime: a student-aged witch was attacked by none other than a death eater, theorized to be the same who killed our esteemed auror Jackson Bingley, who has led the assault on the dark forces corrupting our world. This past Christmas eve, the Ministry learned of a horrible attack killing eleven muggles and an auror. Now, we hear the story from a first-hand witness, a Hogwarts student I hear survived due to incredible luck." A sudden flare of irritation sparked; yes, I was lucky, but it was by my own strength and skill that I survived. "Miss, can you tell us your full name?"

"Hazel Gawynia Drummond."

"And your age?"

"Seventeen."

"Quite young to be traveling alone, don't you think?"

I swallowed. "It's the age of maturity in the wizarding world, and it was meant to be a short, safe trip."

"Where were you traveling, exactly, and why?"

"From Oxford to Bideford, and then to Godric's Hollow, to visit a friend."

"Which friend would that be?"

"James Potter. He's a class-mate."

The interrogation continued, feeling more and more like I was being questioned for my involvement. But as I began to shake and tremble at the re-telling, as cold sweat pooled on my forehead and my heart thumped so hard it ached, and I began to waver where I stood, staring at nothing as my mind relived those moments, I knew they were convinced at least of my innocence. It took until noon to answer all questions; the room was quiet but for the occasional scrawl of a pen writing something.

When it was finally over, Dumbledore had to escort me out of the Ministry himself due to all of the press crowding me. I swallowed heavily, feeling sick under all of the pressure and stares and questioning- the last things I needed after reliving that experience.

As we reached the street again, I turned to Dumbledore. "Professor, I _need_ to know- how can I fight back? I know that wasn't the first attack, but it feels so much more real to witness it. You know I can fight- with a little more training, I'll be ready. I can do it. I _want_ to fight them, to stop this from happening. How can I? You said yourself there's something else going on to help fight it, something involving a phoenix- the sign wouldn't have come to me if it didn't mean something."

Dumbledore's blue eyes seemed to be measuring me. "Miss Drummond, can you cast a patronus?"

"Yes. I taught myself out of curiosity."

A flash of approval crossed his features. "If you were to confront a death eater right now, what would be the first spell you would cast?"

I considered briefly, and his expression changed as he nodded.

"You won't have time to think in the moment. There is, however, something called the Order of the Phoenix- a very secret organization currently fighting dark wizards. Come back after you have completed your sixth year and we will discuss whether or not you may join. Do not speak of it to anyone in the meantime, or you compromise the entire world."

I nodded once. "Yes, professor."

He held out his arm and I took it, apparating back to my living room, where Cassi now sat. She had been by since my return from Bideford, and I had given her the full story, but not even she knew how to help me. She stood then and Dumbledore said his goodbye's and apparated off again.

With a long sigh, I sat down. The Order of the Phoenix, then? That was the big sign? And I couldn't even join yet. Perhaps I shouldn't, given how I've been- the anxiety, nightmares, jumpiness… It was rash to beg Dumbledore like that. No wonder he said not yet.

But I would be ready. I had until June, and then I would join.

Now I just had to make it happen.

 **A/N:** Sorry it's been... What, a week? A week, we'll go with that. Things are kind of a mess right now, but here's another chapter! Things happening, things affecting other things, and a faint sign of a _plot._ That's weird. (There is a plot, I'm just questioning if I should have dragged it out this long, haha.) Anyhow, thanks for reading, I'll try to update again before Friday. Don't forget to review!

 **thatkindofgreen:** I'm glad you liked it! I wish I had some kind of reference for the pictures I could point you guys to, but I just really love the idea and have absolutely nothing except words to explain what the pictures look like. It makes me sentimental; I need a rainbow-butterfly-unicorn-kitten these days.


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

The first week back at Hogwarts proved harder than any other week.

I was constantly asked by members of every house if that had actually happened, and rumors spread and grew until in some variations _I_ was a death-eater and had set the cart on fire myself, and in others I was a miraculous hero who had apparated the rest of the train to safety and chased two dangerous death-eaters through the forest until they leapt from a cliff and apparated away. There was no escaping the constant questions, and to make it worse, some of them came from my friends. If not for Cassi forcefully getting everyone away, I might have actually gone bonkers.

To worsen matters further, Sirius wouldn't speak to me, and I didn't know why. He was mopey and sullen, verging on farouche, and impossibly distant. He spoke to no one but the other Marauders, not even Lily, and sat hunched over and broody with dark circles under his eyes. I couldn't for the life of me understand what changed.

Cassi and Amos were going nauseatingly strong, both ecstatic to see each other again after the break. Pandora and Xeno were all but married already, constantly chatting quietly or cuddling but complacent with being apart long enough to do what they needed to. Yumi said her beau had come to spent the break with her, the mystery-man from Hogsmeade. Adonis was perfect in every way to her, and she never shut up about him. Lily and James were also now very phlegm-inducing, and Severus's negative reaction to it showed in every arithmancy period, and I heard _all of it._

It was quickly becoming too much to bear, but as always in my life, things never stay monochromatic for long. A splash of color was quickly approaching, however blue it may be, that would lead to a more dangerous hue. But for the time, my gray world only seemed to be growing dark.

On Wednesday of the second week back, I had had enough.

I escaped to the Room of Requirement to find Sirius, James, and Remus. As soon as I entered, Sirius stopped speaking and began to pretend to read. After all of my constant stress and nightmares interrupting my sleep, I was at the end of my line.

"What's the deal? Why aren't you willing to talk to me?" I demanded. "Everything was fine during the break, and now-"

"Hazel!" James snapped. "He has his reasons, just as you have yours not to talk about your ordeal. Let it be."

"I just want my friend back," I faltered. James' sharp expression softened with pity. Sirius's didn't change.

Remus stood up and crossed the room, glancing over his shoulder once to his friends. His expression was guarded as he said, "Hazel, let's take a walk."

Desperately hoping this meant answers, I agreed and led the way out of the Room of the Requirement. Remus led me quietly down the hall to the abandoned classroom where Sirius and I had spoken that one night. Remus leaned on the desk, brushed dust off his hands, and then turned his dark blue eyes to me with some deep sadness in them. I took a seat on the windowsill, stretching out one leg and pulling the other knee to my chest, and stared at him, waiting.

"You know Sirius lives with James, but how much do you know of why?"

I considered. "He hates his family. He said they're all arrogant based on blood."

"Over the break, he returned to them. After he heard what happened to you, he thought that maybe if his family had a good influence in it, they might not all turn out like Bellatrix- he hoped that nothing else terrible would happen." _Because of me? No- just Sirius being a good person, as usual. Nothing wrong with that, of course._ "Once they found out he was there in defense of a half-blood, they disowned him."

My eyes shot wide with shock. "Disowned?"

"Disowned- as in erased from the family records, put a blot in the family tree. Sirius Black is, in every way but physically, dead to his family. It's due to them that he's suffered much already, and this blow… Well, it was the cherry on top of a terrible life. I won't say what all happened; it's his story to tell. But I will ask you to go easy on him, as the boy has had it hard enough already. The last thing he needs is for someone else to turn on him, or even seem to. He's… He's emotionally crippled."

I can understand that. Right now, I'm the same way. I nodded and stood. 'Thanks, Remus. Keep an eye on him for me, would you? It's obvious that trying to force myself back into his life isn't working." I felt my throat closing up and swallowed heavily. "So if he doesn't want me around, then I beg you to- to watch out for him, help him as best you can, when I'm not there."

Sympathy flooded his oceanic eyes, and Remus nodded. "Will do."

I crossed to the door, and then paused, turning to look at him. "Oh, and Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

The following Saturday was an early Hogsmeade trip. I watched from the third floor as all of my friends trotted off happily for a day of fun and companionship, while my own problems held me at bay. Another nightmare had placed dark purple bags under my eyes, disabling me from getting any rest, and the constant fear and edginess afflicting me had caused me to become someone quite difficult to be around. By now I was even snapping at Cassi, the person trying to explain to others as softly as possible why I was so different.

I disappeared to the library for some hours, sitting among the shelves and reading snippets of books I couldn't find any interest in. I wouldn't consciously admit it, but I was hoping to find in writing something similar to my experience and what I was feeling. I needed guidelines, and they were currently impossible to find.

After hunting for some time, I finally gave up, sitting down in the library floor with my knees drawn to my chest, elbows on my knees, and hands in my hair. I felt my face screw up as the feeling of being overwhelmed pressed into me; how was I supposed to find normal again? How was I supposed to function like this? Already, my classes are failing, I'm distant, I…

Footsteps paused my thoughts. I relaxed my face and sought a lie- can't find a book for divination is all- and then looked up.

Sirius.

He looked worse for wear, as he had for some time now. He had darker shadows under his eyes than I did, and his once luscious dark hair now lay limp against his scalp. His cheeks were sallow, and his already slender frame had shrunk inward. Wordlessly, he sat down with his back against the shelf across from me, assuming a similar pose but with more relaxed legs and his arms simply resting on his knees, hands locked to the opposite elbows.

"Stressed?" He asked.

I nodded, but didn't reply. He rested his head against the shelf.

"Me, too."

I nodded briefly, but didn't speak. A million words popped into my head in response, but in my current mood, there was nothing to convince me I should speak. Sirius was a friend, a good friend at that, last semester, but now… We were both remote, far off in our own dark corners, despite the fact we sat with only centimeters between us physically.

"Remus told me he gave you a brief overview."

I nodded. Again, no words from me.

Sirius sighed, staring forward at the books next to my head. His grey eyes were unfocused, seeing memories I couldn't touch. "I… Decided I should tell you everything else that happened."

"You don't have to," I said immediately. "I understand if you don't want to."

 _I don't want to talk about my memories,_ I thought, and knew at once that that was why I insisted he didn't have to tell me what so intrigued me.

"I want to," he assured me. "More than anything, I want _you_ to understand. Not from- not from personal experience, just to… To know what I've been through." He paused again. He had never been this timorous around me. I decided to shut up and let him speak until he was done. After a long moment, he began. "You know about my brother, Regulus. Reg and I didn't exactly… Have the best upbringing. It's part of why he never talks to me. Our father, Orion, is this ever-worshiped all-pervasive being, loved by the rest of our family, even our idiot mother. For the first few years after Reg was born, everything was fine. Mum was a little fastidious in how she raised and taught us; she hoped to raise the typical snooty, pureblood, arrogant 'gentlemen' that the House of Black was known for. But the House of Black has a darker chapter; my cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa and Andromeda, experienced this as well. I'm stalling; the thing I'm not saying is that I've been abused. For years."

My eyes shot wide, and I felt a crippling wave of sympathy.

Sirius continued. "When I was seven, Mum had a social gathering- some other rich pureblood women- and I refused to participate in it. I thought the whole thing too uppity and preferred to sit in the puffskein garden. Then my father found me, and slapped me, and dragged me out to the tea party. That was only the beginning. Something had snapped in him; after that, there were countless occasions where Reg or I would do something to draw his fire and feel that kind of pain. I hate that man, I always have, but he gave me a million reasons to. I don't care that _I_ was hurt; I care that he would abuse a child- two, in fact. I was more pissed about how he treated Reg. That's my brother, and now the sight of my face reminds him of that house. Once we started going to Hogwarts, things calmed down. Life at the house was more scattered hits and verbal abuse, but it wasn't as bad as it had been.

"Then when I came home for Christmas in fifth year, Reg and I entered the house to find our _mother_ black and blue and unable to move. I nearly dueled my father, but before I could the house wards kicked me out of the house. I swore I'd kill him. I ran to the Potters' house in hopes of refuge, and they said I could stay as long as I needed to. James was furious when he heard what happened. We tried to go back, but we couldn't get back in. Reg said he healed Mum, and that Dad had promised to change, gotten on his knees and cried, but also swore I was never allowed in that house again. I don't want to go back regardless.

"But then James told me what happened to you. Christmas day, I flew back to that house and tried to be amiable, friendly; I brought presents and everything. Much of the family was gathered there- Narcissa, her parents, my parents, Great-Aunt Pollox, and so on. When I showed up, the whole room grew silent; Reg just looked at me. Then Dad started screaming, and asking why I was there. I told him the truth: a dear friend of mine was attacked by my own cousin, our family is far too problematic, and it's time for things to change. He asked what friend, and I said. Reg then asks if I meant the half-blood Ravenclaw girl, and Dad lost it. It was bad enough I was a Gryffindor; now I'm befriending half-bloods. He called me a blood traitor, a disgrace to the House of Black, and disowned me. Mum blew a hole through my face in the family tree tapestry, and I returned to James' house.

"I know I shouldn't care, and they aren't worth the soot under my shoe, but being completely orphaned, having no family at all, feels so isolated. James and Remus are trying to open me back up, and I'm in awe that I can even talk to you about it. I guess it's because… I can look at your face and see that you're struggling, too. That isn't to say you look weak; I just recognize the same pain and longing in you."

He grew silent, and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to hold him, to fix all those broken pieces, put back together that broken heart. Looking at the remorse in his grey eyes as he looked at me, seeing him lose strength and look down, I gave in and crawled over to him. He watched me, surprised, as I rearranged his legs and crawled into his lap. I wound my arms around him, pressing him to me and holding him tight. At first, his hands only rested lightly on my back, but then his manner changed: he gripped me tightly, squeezing me to him, and I hugged back with all the strength I could.

"Sirius, if you ever need to talk, or want to get away for a while, just let me know. I'm here for you, as best I can be."

His voice came soft and smoky next to my ear, "And I'll do the same for you."

My heart stopped temporarily, and I felt my throat closing with emotion. I gripped him impossibly tighter, burying my face in his shoulder and listless black hair, feeling my eyes pool. The words had somehow broken down my barrier; maybe it was because I knew he, too, suffered, and in that mutual pain could help me.

We sat like that for a long time, just holding each other. My heart broke when I felt a few tears hit my neck after sliding down his cheek, and I'm sure he felt the same; it was a dark tranquility, two lonely, agonized people just holding each other in hopes of relief, but it was ours and in the moment it was all we had.

And I would hold him as long as he would let me.

 **A/N:** I recently got a review stating some of the way things happened in the earlier chapters didn't follow canon information. Let me just state this is a fanfiction, and Hazel's existence isn't canonical either, and I did some research and other info has come out since. I tweaked a few things for story's sake, but it doesn't seem to bother any of the readers who have gotten this far. Besides, I'm too far in to bother editing it, lol.

Anyway! One more chapter in. I recently had to quickly discover a new abode, and that's just my way of saying I had to find somewhere else to live and now have. It's an actual structured household, which should include a little bit of time each day in which I can write/update, so I'll actually be updating more. Yay!

Thanks for reading, guys. Don't forget to review!


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Sirius and I entered our own little world after that.

He never pressed me to say how I was feeling, but would often drop a morsel of his own emotions. We would vanish into the Room of Requirement or astronomy tower whenever we could, and just hold each other, talking quietly. His voice became the most soothing aspect of my life, and I sought him out as often as I could; I hated to admit it to myself, but I had grown far too attached, and he was much more than a friend to me now. I needed those quiet moments, the long embraces. I needed him.

I was painfully torn from that quiet world centered by Sirius when Yumi broke down one morning. Sirius and I had been meeting up like that for a week, and the Saturday after the library confession, Yumi received a letter that changed everything, it seemed.

I was eating a small breakfast, toying with the food more than eating it, when the post came in. A letter dropped down for Yumi in a black envelope, and she looked at it curiously. The owl flying away wasn't Yumi's, or her family's, and Cassi and I watched as Yumi opened the letter. She read it, and then gasped and threw it down, sprinting out of the Great Hall.

"Should we-?" Cassi asked, and I nodded, grabbing the letter. _Please don't be Adonis; she's so happy with him._

But it wasn't a boy; Yumi's grandmother Cho had been killed by Death Eaters. Cho had been an old muggle living down the street from Yumi's family, and had married a wizard that gave birth to Yumi's mum. We all knew how much Cho had meant to Yumi. Without a word, I left the Great Hall to go find her; Cassi joined me in the search. We found her in our dorm ten minutes later, laying on her bunk with her face to the wall.

"Only because she was a muggle," Yumi whispered, "They _killed_ her."

A flashback gripped me in its dark clutches of the muggles on the train, and I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting against it. _Sirius, Sirius, Sirius._ Grey eyes replaced the flames, a soothing memory of a murmur replaced the screams, and I opened my eyes again. Cassi and I glanced at each other.

"I understand," I said quietly.

"No!" Yumi protested. "You saw strangers die- it wasn't anyone you knew!"

I was on my feet. "It doesn't matter! I saw them _burn alive_ because they were muggles!"

"And now instead of fighting for them, you just wallow around and talk in your sleep!"

"You would do the same if you saw what I've seen!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Cassi interrupted, standing as well. "I can't stand this! Hazel, you've been through a lot, and it's hard. Yumi, you lost someone close to you. You _both_ have been victims because of this war- this is not the time to turn against each other!"

She was right. I sighed and sat down on the floor under the window; Cassi stared between us with hurt in her brown eyes. Yumi started crying. After a while, she apologized, and we pushed our beds together so we could all lay down together. Cassi and I flanked Yumi, and the three of us lay there quietly; after a while, Yumi started talking about her Grandma Cho; she had revered the woman. I wasn't at a point yet where I could talk about my memories, but it was different, and they didn't ask, and this was about Yumi, not me.

The day faded; we napped on and off, and didn't leave for lunch. Cassi withdrew some chocolates Amos had bought her and split them amongst us. We snacked and cried and hugged and chatted and told each other the things we hadn't been saying, though I didn't mention Sirius.

As night came on, Yumi said, "If I ever have a daughter, I'll name her Cho."

The next day, James and Lily found me sulking in the Room of Requirement. Sirius and Remus came in soon after; we had been planning to work on the map, but I didn't feel up to it.

"You alright, Drummond?" James asked. My mind glimpsed his concern in his living room that night and I took a deep breath.

"Not really, no. Flashbacks, constantly."

He gave me a look of pity, and Lily inquired, "Do you know what started them?"

"Yumi's grandmother was killed by a Death Eater for being a muggle. It just reminded me of that night."

Sirius came over to sit by me and put an arm around me, holding me and giving me piteous grey glances. Remus sighed. "We've got to do something to stop this."

I looked up. My mind reminded me of the Order of the Phoenix, but I couldn't tell them about it. Not yet. "We will," I said instead. I had no doubt they all would join. "I'm sure of it."

"I want to do something _now,"_ James protested. "What's the good of sitting here another year while the world falls apart around us?"

I shrugged. "I can't say."

"I mean that," James continued, growing more tense. "The world is going to be destroyed if _we_ don't do something to stop it. I don't want to see anyone in this room suffer for waiting."

"We might suffer more if we don't," Remus pointed out. "What will happen if we propel ourselves out into the world unprepared? We have another year of safety to train as best we can, to become the most proficient fighters we can. Why don't we?"

"He's right," Lily agreed, carrying an intensity that caught my eye. I had never seen this side of her; her hair seemed to blaze, and her usually kind green eyes were brighter. "We should learn to fight and as soon as we get out of here, we stop this nonsense. I declare we start an organization, fight back together- and until then, we learn all that we can."

The discussion continued until it was declared we would all fight back later, and until then we would also use the Room of Requirement to more extensively study Defense Against the Dark Arts. Afterward, I felt my spirits lift. Being in this situation wasn't easy, but it wasn't so impossible now. I was still haunted but I had hope, and hope was the ultimate weapon.

The second Hogsmeade trip was two weeks later, the last weekend of January. It was also when many things changed, for me, mine and Sirius's relationship, and the wizarding world as we knew it.

News came that morning that there had been hints of something dark happening, but there was no further evidence than a few notes and some witnesses of Death Eaters speaking. The Daily Prophet, it seemed, was reaching for conclusions. It was the talk of the Great Hall while we ate breakfast, but the subject rose and fell. After breakfast, I went and dressed in dark jeans, a black turtleneck, knee-high dark boots, and a long knitted gray coat. I braided my hair and met Cassi and Sirius and Amos in the courtyard, and soon we were joined by Lily, James, Remus, and Peter. The eight of us intended to go explore a cave Amos had spotted the prior trip to Hogsmeade.

We reached the village soon after, the odd group attempting to get along, and started toward the trail. Amos and Cassi were holding hands, lost in their own world, as were Lily and James. The other four of us were talking casually about the map and when next to work on it, but changed topics after Cassi asked what we were discussing and Remus said something from a dream.

"I hope this excursion goes better than some others have," Remus said. "No trolls or dragons or anything."

I chuckled. "I hope so."

But as is known by now, my life doesn't go by hope.

We made our way into the forest and started down the main trail; after twenty minutes, Amos led us down a side path at Cassi's guarantee that it was the pathway that had been taken before. It was the most adventure I'd permitted myself to partake in since Christmas eve, and I knew my days with Sirius had something to do with that.

We reached the cave and started down it.

"James, does this look familiar at all?" Sirius asked, but James didn't answer, caught up in Lily.

"Is it?" I asked him, and Sirius glanced around.

"I can't tell. I feel like we've been here before, and like we shouldn't be here… I just can't place _why."_

I shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Maybe you dreamed it," Remus suggested. "You have some pretty weird dreams sometimes."

"That reminds me," I said, "You told me about a dream at the Christmas party where you were in the woods searching for something, and it reminded me when I looked back on my run through the woods over the break."

"Interesting," Sirius replied. "Maybe our minds connected, and I was predicting your future. See any odd white things in the trees?"

"No, but I heard it was someone's patronus that found me. I vaguely remember that."

"Maybe that's it, then. James, I really feel like we've been in this cave before- don't you recognize it?"

"Sorry, what?" James looked over, his hazel eyes still not focused.

"Look around, James- have we seen this before?"

James' eyes flitted around in the light of his wand, and he _hmm_ ed, and then said, "I'm not sure-" Recognition lit his eyes and they shot wide. "Run, everyone- out!" He shouted.

"Why?" Cassi asked.

"No questions- go!"

We turned and ran, and as we did heard an inhuman screech from the back of the cave, growing louder as whatever it was got closer. We were almost back to the entrance when I realized it was actually two screeches harmonizing. I glanced over my shoulder once- lethifolds, three of them. This would be their lair.

"Run, as fast as you can- get back to the village!" I shouted,

The three living shrouds raced closer as we flew out of the cave and into the snow. I saw Sirius and Remus vanish over a ridge, Lily and Cassi disappear into the trees with James after them, and didn't see Amos or Peter before I was taking off after Sirius and Remus.

The snow crunched and slowed me a tiny bit as I raced through the trees, following footsteps and barely dodging trunks. I hopped a log and felt someone grab me; I almost fell, but the traction from the snow kept me upright as I was pulled over to Remus, who took off running with my arm in his hand. I raced alongside him until we found Sirius and ducked behind a holly bush.

"Where are the others?" I gasped.

"You're okay!" Sirius whispered in relief, taking my hand. Remus shook his head, looking baffled and frozen. We heard a screech and then Peter's voice shout something.

"Peter!" Remus exclaimed. "I have to get him- I- Sirius, watch Hazel- Hazel watch Sirius- I-!"

He disappeared into the trees and Sirius and I stood from where we had knelt down.

"Should we go after him?" I panted, breathless in the cold.

"Definitely."

We began to sprint and suddenly my vision started to flicker. _Night forest- running- snow-_ no, it's day- _snow underfoot-_ A cackle echoed through the trees and I held in a scream. I kept Sirius's hand locked tightly in mine as we raced through, and then we reached a wall of briars. Sirius tried to barge through but the thick vines held him back; we began to crawl through when a shriek sounded from right behind us. I leapt to my feet, wand out, and Sirius flanked me, his wand out as well.

"Hazel, I have to do something I've been wanting to do for a long time," he said as we stared down the lethifold as it growled and put one punctured claw into the snow, started to draw its shrouded form toward us.

"What is that, Sirius?"

He turned to me and I looked over at him briefly as he leaned forward. I snapped my face back around to the lethifold and his lips touched my cheek.

"Not right now, Sirius. Not like this."

He remained wordless and I tried my damnedest to remember a spell that would work against the lethifold. It drew back and my brain flashed to my textbook, the section on lethifolds: _Lethifolds may spring at prey and tackle it, covering it under the shroud and devouring it._ My mind erased the mental placeholder and filled the space with Sirius and I nearly screamed; as it was, I made a noise I couldn't name and cast the first spell to come to mind:

"Confringo!"

The lethifold exploded, scattering into pieces. Sirius and I stood there, my heart pounding and breath coming in freezing gasps that stung my throat, unable to believe what I had just done.

I felt Sirius's eyes on me and looked over. He gaped at me for a long moment, and then mustered, "You- you- exploded it!"

"It would have killed you."

A change registered in his eyes; he went from shock to disbelief to hope. He crossed the distance between us in one long stride and gripped me to him tightly; I held him just as close and then took a deep breath. He took my hand and we started off through the woods, and then remembered that there were two more and our friends were still missing. We started off in the direction Remus had gone, crossing through the briars with more level heads but still not talking for our panic. At the sound of spells and shrieks, we raced forward.

We found Remus just as he froze the lethifold. He nodded at us and started off through the trees; we had nothing else to do but follow, and soon found Lily and Cassi fighting off the third. It raced away at the sight of more of us, and then we saw James run for Lily and hold her tightly. Cassi looked desperately after him.

"Where's Amos?" She asked, her eyes wide and her breathing short. "Where is he!?"

"I haven't seen him," James said.

"Nor any of us," Remus added. Cassi took off into the woods at a sprint; I followed her without a thought. She was a brilliant witch but not combative enough to fight off those fiends. I had already proven I could handle one. I spotted Cassi's narrow torso dodging through the trees, her pink skirt flapping around like a flag in the snow, and followed her closely once I could reach her. She stopped running and I met her side as she panted and screamed, " _Amos!"_

"Cassi!?" came an answering shout from our left. I turned to see Amos heading through the trees toward us.

"Amos!" Cassi shouted again, running toward him.

"Cassi!"

They met in the middle, her far more panicked than him, and she grabbed him desperately. "Amos- I- I was so scared- I love you! I love you so much!"

She kissed all over his face, and he said, "I love you, too. Cassi, darling, I'm okay, I'm okay." He held her to him, rubbing her back. "I'm okay."

"Not to break it up," I said, "But we _have_ to get back to the others and return to Hogsmeade before those things come back."

Amos looked up and nodded, and scooped up Cassi into his arms and began carrying her back. I led the way to the others, where we all started back. James was talking about the adventurous aspect of this; Lily spoke only of her worry. I was silent, simply trying not to think about the flashbacks that had almost stopped me early. It was like I was back in the woods the first time…

But Sirius took my hand then, squeezed it, and walked incredibly close to me so that we bumped each other with each step. His dark-clad lean figure next to me reassured me, and I drew strength from his presence. Then I remembered:

He tried to kiss me.

 **A/N:** Aaaanother chapter in! Haven't gotten much of a chance to write lately. I'm starting to miss this story. Anyhow, isn't Hazel just crazy? "Not like this," she says. But then, if you had been waiting this long to kiss a guy, wouldn't you also wanted to be in better circumstances than in the cold snow while your PTSD is giving you flashbacks and there's a vicious man-eating cloak waiting to pounce? He's trying, though! That's gotta count for something. Poor Sirius, lol.

Are any of you Ouran High School Host Club fans? If so, "It Starts With Goodbye" is a lovely story for TamaHaru shippers. I've been obsessed with it for a couple of days now.

 **hphead:** You give me life, omg. When I looked and saw I had _ten more reviews_ (or roughly there), I was ecstatic. Thank you so much for enjoying this story as much as you have. 3 I'll take into consideration what you said was the more canonical version about Remus's condition and Dumbledore's knowledge of it, and do something with that. I'm steadily working to make this story more in line with canon Marauders era info, but sadly I didn't do as much research as I maybe should have. Also, you should definitely PM me sometime with the titles of good Jilly fics- I love them. I feel like they're an excellent couple. Also, don't worry, James will continue to undergo drastic character development throughout the story. He's a prat sometimes, but he has a good heart when it comes down to it.

Anyway, thanks for reading lovelies! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to review!


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Upon returning to Hogwarts and after eating, Sirius and I met at the astronomy tower. It was bristling cold, and we couldn't sit because the stone would steal all heat from our bodies. We turned and instead went to the Room of Requirement; we had set up a room that was just for us- soft blankets and pillows, comfortable couches and lounges, a large fireplace, and an abundance of food and books. It was where we had been meeting up and cuddling.

But tonight was different.

Sirius sat on the far end of the couch. I sat toward the middle and drew my knees up, looking over at him.

"Sirius, what's pressing you?"

He met my eyes with an intense grey gaze and simply said, "I want to kiss you more than I've wanted anything in my whole life, and kissing me seems to be the last thing you would want in the whole world."

I wanted to yell at him for saying that, and ask how in the hell he came to that conclusion, but the sincerity and defeat in his face stopped me. Instead, I simply concluded, "You have no idea how wrong you are."

"How am I wrong? Even when you might have died, you stopped me from kissing you."

"I knew we would live," I said. "I could just feel it. I didn't want our first time kissing each other to be under those circumstances. I didn't want you to regret it later."

"I would regret dying without tasting your lips even more."

I exhaled heavily and dropped my legs, angling myself to face him. I took one of his hands. "Sirius, I have wanted to kiss you for a long time now. You're the one who said you didn't want to at the Christmas party, so I thought you didn't want to."

He looked down and released a sad, short laugh. "I'm a fool. I was trying to say then that I didn't want to do that then, that I didn't want you to feel forced to."

I let that information process; I expected I should feel happy about this, but it was more just that some ache was relieved. A happy, short, breathless laugh escaped my lips and I looked up at him. I wanted to grab his face then and kiss him. I couldn't help my eyes flitting to his lips and then back to his eyes and back to his lips where they curved in a smile soft as satin, smooth and pink and supple.

"No," he said, shocking me. I looked up as a wave of pain washed through me, only to see an amused smile on those same lips now. "Stop it. You're not kissing me tonight."

I leaned back. _Is he just toying with me? What is it with this boy?_

He leaned forward, countering my lean back, and took the hand not holding his, and then held my cheek in his palm, his long fingers stretching past my ear. He brushed some loose strands of hair out of my face and said, "Only because we've come this far to make it perfect. We can't ruin that now."

His face was only centimeters from mine, his breath warm and enticing as it lightly brushed my jaw. He busied himself toying with my hair as my breath came shallow due to his proximity. "Then stop teasing me."

"Teasing you?" he said, looking down at me and still smiling. "How am I teasing you?"

"By being so close and not letting me kiss you."

He leaned forward by a miniscule increment. "It torments you that badly?"

I felt my heart speeding and had to balance myself on one shaking hand. My eyes sought his lips again; I had to force them to meet his teasing cinder gaze in order not to kiss him. "Yes."

He leaned back and my mind protested, desiring that closeness again. "Very well." He stood and then lifted me to my feet, keeping one of my hands in his. He cleared his throat and then bowed slightly and placed his free hand behind his back. "Hazel Drummond, I formally invite you to a date with me this Friday evening after dinner."

With wide eyes and amazement, I simply nodded. "Yes- I- of course!"

He hugged me and kissed the top of my head. "Friday, then."

After that, Sirius's entire demeanor toward me changed, and others noticed. Monday morning when I sat down in the Great Hall, I found a letter waiting at my usual spot. Cassi eyed it. "Who's that from?"

I could tell by the handwriting. _Sirius._ "Not sure."

"What's it say?" Yumi asked. She was feeling much better now; she was a timely griever- she would begin with one intense burst, and then over months she would slowly expel that grief and replace it with strength and honoring the memory of the person she had lost. Her Grandma Cho was a very important person to her, and she had declared to be happy in her memory. It helped that Adonis had held her and spent her whole day at Hogsmeade caring for her.

I shrugged at her question, pulling myself from my observation, and opened the letter.

 _Hazel,_

 _Ne'er have I been so enchanted by a tree,_

 _But a tree ne'er could you be._

 _You're strong as oak and lean as willow,_

 _And bend like a pine when strong winds billow,_

 _But a tree ne'er could you be,_

 _This I know to be true of thee,_

 _For trees have not eyes that shine like the sun,_

 _And trees don't make my thoughts ceaselessly run._

 _And e'en if a tree may you be,_

 _Why, you're the prettiest tree_

 _There ever could be._

 _And so I ask you to dine with me,_

 _Friday night, under pale moonlight,_

 _Under the towering branches of your brethren tree,_

 _When the lake shall make quite a sight._

 _Nine at night, by the tree where we spoke,_

 _Of who we are and told many a joke._

 _There I hope you shall meet me,_

 _Oh, this I ask of the prettiest Hazel e'er to be._

 _Sincerely Yours,_

 _Sirius_

By the time I finished reading it, my cheeks, face, ears, and neck were all bright red and flaming. I folded the letter quickly and shoved it in my robe pocket with a herculean effort to stop the ridiculous smile on my face.

"What was it?" Cassi pressed, and I just shook my head, grinning.

"No, I- I'm not saying."

"Are you blushing!? You have to tell me!"

"Not right now," I said, gesturing to the people around us with flailing noodle arms. She glared.

"Tonight. In our dorm."

"Please, Hazel, we have to know," Yumi declared.

I sighed and half-reluctantly said, "Fine, I'll tell you."

As Cassi cheered, I had to admit to myself I was kind of gushing over the note as it was. I had never received poetry or a love note or anything else like that.

I would soon start to receive many gifts like this.

After breakfast, I made my way to Charms, feeling my stomach transform into a ball of butterflies. The worse part was wanting to kiss him as much as I did now.

The rest of the week continued this way.

For the rest of Monday, I was in a daze; but I was simultaneously working harder and more focused than ever. Sirius had somehow managed to have me daydreaming and yet completely processing everything in arithmancy to the point of teaching Amos the next lesson in the textbook, which shocked the Hufflepuff and had Severus glaring at me for my advanced knowledge.

That evening, there was a rose waiting at the table for me, a single red-tipped yellow rose. Cassi stared me down. "You're telling me everything tonight. Who's that from?"

I shook my head, grinning. "I assume the same person to give me that letter this morning."

Pandora eyed the rose, thoughtful and wide-eyed, and smiled and said, "Yellow with red tips: friendship and falling in love."

"Oh, my stars! Hazel!" Cassi exclaimed. "Who's it from!"

I shook my head, blushing deeply and smiling. But over Yumi's shoulder across the table from me, Sirius was grinning widely at me, and I reddened further at his gaze, twiddling the rose in my fingers. I sniffed it, letting the sweet aroma make me heady, and his grin faded to a thoughtful smile.

That night in our dorm, I finally fessed up.

"Hazel, _please._ You have no excuses- you said you would tell us tonight. We're in our dorm, it's just the four of us here. Tell us. Who's it from?"

I was still holding the rose in my lap as I sat at the edge of my bunk, my feet dangling to the floor. I crossed my ankles and bit my lip, shaking my head. "I don't think he meant it the way Dora interpreted the rose's color."

"Either way, he gave you a rose," Yumi said. "Who is it?"

My cheeks reddened again, as I thought back to Sirius's expression when he saw me with the rose. _He was so pleased-_

"Hazel!" Cassi snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Who's it from?"

I sighed, leaning back, and then laid down, still holding the rose on my chest with one hand on its stem. "Sirius."

Cassi and Yumi were still gaping while Pandora verified, "Black?"

I nodded. "Mhm."

"I _knew_ he fancied you!" Cassi exclaimed. "Come on, then- what was the letter this morning!?"

I smiled thinking back on it, and bit my lip again. "He wrote me a poem."

Yumi's eyebrows shot up. "He loves you."

I looked over at her, still smiling. "No, I'm sure he doesn't. This is just Sirius; he overdoes everything. If he even so much as slightly fancies someone, he's going to go to great lengths for them."

"He didn't for Vanica Moore or Cheryl Grier or Priscilla Aldridge," Cassi pointed out, "Not that I saw."

"Do you love him?" Pandora asked me, propped up on her elbow on the bunk above Yumi's. The two switched bunks each term; last term, Pandora had been on the bottom.

I floundered for an answer to her question; I hadn't thought about it.

"You do," Yumi said. "I recognize that look in your eyes. It's the same way Cassi gets when she talks about Amos."

I looked over at her. "It isn't. You can't possibly recognize it as that."

But the warm feeling in my chest said otherwise, though I wouldn't accept that.

Tuesday morning, there was no note or rose, which made me wonder what grand romantic gesture he had planned. Instead, he took me for a walk during our free period that morning, just talking and smiling and laughing.

Wednesday, we met in the Room of Requirement and he brought a muggle book Remus had made him read a few years prior to; it was a script for a play, a romance, and he made us take turns reading the parts. On our way back to Ravenclaw Tower, Sirius surprised me with more flowers- a bouquet composed primarily of white camellias, a sprig of arbutus blossoms, and a single large yellow flower I didn't know the name of. I smiled and blushed as I received them.

"Sirius, you've been so… Adoring, I suppose, is the word. Why is that?"

He smiled. "You're letting me. Do you protest this?"

"No, it's just odd."

He stepped closer. "I'm an odd fellow."

I stepped closer as well. "I've noticed."

He dared one more step, so that there were barely centimeters between us. "And how do you feel about that?"

"About what? You being odd?"

He chuckled, soft and breathless. "No; about me doting on you this week."

I leaned closer to him, my face so close to his I could see the miniscule hairs lining his jaw. "I think I quite like it."

"Why is that?"

I grinned. "You aren't doting on anyone else."

His hand came up and tucked my hair behind my ear as he leaned his forehead on mine and said, "Oh, dear, there's no one else worth doting on." His hand rested on my cheek, and in that moment I was certain he would kiss me. He brought his lips forward, and I moved to meet him- but before our mouths could touch, he shifted up quickly and kissed my nose, and then stepped back.

"Friday," he said, and walked away.

 **A/N:** Believe me, dear readers, no one is more tormented by the lack of Sirius-Hazel kiss than Hazel is.

I'm going to go ahead and post the next chapter, because I'm being merciful for a change. (and because the WiFi is out at my house and I might not be able to update for a while and I don't want to leave you guys waiting too long.)

Anyway, thanks for reading! Don't forget to review~


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

_you should totally listen to "Lemonade" by Jeremy Passion or "Stay" by Rihanna (the live version on SNL, it's on YouTube) while reading this chapter._

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Thursday, I didn't see much of Sirius; I told him in Transfiguration that morning that I needed to study, and dedicated the day to that and homework. Then Friday came around.

The day passed in a breeze, and I was so apprehensive at dinner I couldn't eat. Sirius and I glanced at each other but didn't speak to each other the whole day. When dinner ended at 6:15, I escaped to the girls' lavatory and took advantage of the sixth-year baths, thoroughly enjoying the hot water and different soaps. I chose a chamomile aromatherapeutic soap to calm my nerves, and then a stronger one to actually bathe me. I dried with an evaporating charm, and then turned to the outfit I had chosen and completely regretted it. In a bathrobe, I grabbed my wand and accio'ed a different outfit to me.

The dress I chose of the few I had at Hogwarts with me was a wine-colored slip, fit like a glove, with pearly buttons along the front as far as my waist, where a sash tied tightly around it. It had long sleeves of the same deep claret lace that composed the body of the dress, a hem to just above my knees, and a mandarin collar that left a deep v-neck to the top button. This, with skin-colored stockings and my black oxfords, made for a fashionable enough outfit, if a little old-fashioned. But what to do with hair? And makeup? How does one _date?_ I need my mom.

Since Cassi was already busy studying tonight, I decided I would just have to learn how to do hair and makeup myself. I had done well enough for the Christmas parties, but then, I still remembered how those had turned out. I sighed, looking in the mirror of the bathroom and trying to figure it out. I started with makeup, something I rarely bothered with. I settled for a thick coat of creamy, natural-colored eyeshadow, and then touched white over the lid and added smooth black eyeliner, letting it curve out at the ends. I ended up with an almost Debby Harry-esque eye makeup look, and strayed away from that. With a touch of blush on each cheek and dark rose lipstick, I stepped back and looked at myself in whole. There was actually a very nice effect caused by the dark rose color; it brought attention back to my face without looking tacky or over-done. I twisted my hair up into a loose updo that gathered on the left side and left some loose tendrils to curl; it actually looked very nice.

Sneaking back to the common room, I wondered briefly if my animagus form would now have makeup on it. I stole a spurt of Cassi's good perfume, and then quickly made my way up to the astronomy tower and from there grabbed my broom. I had an odd moment as I approached the edge to fly off where I had to step back when my heart sped and I grew dizzy; a flashback flickered of when I saved James, and then the height became daunting as I remembered the weightless fear of falling from the cliff.

Sirius grabbing me startled me, but he had me in a protective hold and raised his eyebrows. "You okay?"

I nodded briskly. "Yeah, I'm fine- just- just memories."

He nodded; I could see he didn't quite understand but at least was trying. "Come on, Hazel; climb on the broom behind me. I've got you."

The way he said _I've got you_ held such sincerity that some part of me trusted him more than I would admit, and I handed him the broom and then mounted behind him after he had mounted. We flew down to the lake as swiftly as Sirius dared, and as soon as we were off the broom he dropped it in the grass and put his hands on my shoulders and asked if I was okay. After telling him not to worry so much, I looked at him in the moonlight and grinned. He was wearing a black button-down and gray trousers tucked into black boots, a look I think only he could pull off. His hair had regained the life it had lost earlier that month, and he glanced at himself self-consciously.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said. "You just look very nice this evening."

He smiled, that same genuine nature in his eyes and said, "Trust me, the best view is the one I'm looking at."

My cheeks warmed; I noticed I was blushing more often around him. I couldn't think of a reply, and he grinned wider and then turned. "Come on, let's eat."

"Eat?" I repeated, and followed his gaze. He had set up a picnic, with a blue and white checkered quilt and a wicker basket with a lid. I chuckled.

"Sirius Black, you are a million times more of a hopeless romantic than you make yourself out to be."

He moved so that he could put his hand around my side. "Only when a girl gives me true cause to be."

"And I've done so?"

He looked at me. "I've wanted to woo you like this since September. Of course you have."

I giggled in response; _what has he done to me? I don't giggle. I'm a tough, independent woman. So why am I giggling and blushing? Stupid hormones._ But Sirius only smiled and began to set out the food, kneeling on the quilt. I sat down with my legs folded to the side, balancing on one hand. Sirius handed me two wine glasses and I held them in one hand. He dished out the food; he had swiped dinner from the Great Hall and heated it now with a spell- a thick, creamy golden soup, steamed rolls, cooked ham, and a bowl each of raspberry angel delight. Sirius had somehow found a bottle of wine, and now poured both of us a glass. He was so eager and ecstatic, like a little kid showing their parents something they had done that was amazing to them. His grey eyes almost shone, it seemed.

We sat awkwardly as we started to eat, and then Sirius flicked his wand at the dim space under a bush- ah, the record player. A muggle rock band I recognized started playing- Led Zeppelin. Sirius glanced at me, as if gauging my expression. After an awkward moment of trying to quickly chew a large bite of roll, I stated my approval of his choice in music. We finished eating in silence, and I drank a glass of the wine and then refilled it, drinking down one more glass to calm my nerves.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Is it just me, or are things significantly more awkward because we've actually labelled this a date?"

I chuckled. "Definitely. I think it's just weird because we both know how the other feels, and there's this anticipation-"

"-And so we're incredibly nervous because this is almost like a test, but not the kind we can study for."

"On the contrary, we can kind of study, if you just watch other relationships and study the failures of them and try to avoid that."

"So communicate and stay focused on your partner and be encouraging."

"And affectionate."

"And honest."

"Right."

"Are we just rambling?"

"Basically."

We fell silent, and Sirius sipped more wine, and I sipped more wine, and then he downed the glass, grabbed the bottle, chugged about a fifth of its contents, and then looked at me with a grin. "Let's dance."

I grinned as he stood up and held out a hand.

"Hazel dearest, may I have this dance? 'Twould be the utmost fortune to successfully hold you close and waltz to the rhythm of an excellent song by a stellar band. And oh, you are the prettiest sight I've ever seen, and what I want most right now is to dance with you."

Grinning from ear to ear, I shook my head at his flattery and stood. "It would be my pleasure, good sir."

We stepped off of the quilt and he took my hand, pulling me to him and laughing, and placed one hand on my waist while holding the other up in the air. I let one arm drape over his shoulder, and he began to guide me in a small circle.

"You're actually quite a good dancer," I commented, surprised.

He smiled over at the lake and shrugged. "You could say that. Mother insisted we learn, in order to woo haughty pure-blooded girls."

"Look at you, disgracing your family with this awful half-blood girl."

"Oh, they'd be absolutely _furious_ if they learned how I feel about you. It was bad enough that you influenced me to go there."

I wanted to ask him more about that, but his words left me with one pressing question. "And how do you feel about me, Sirius?"

He smiled softly, his eyes all but glowing at me. I had never seen someone truly show so much emotion with only their eyes; perhaps it was because I watched for it in him, or maybe because the light grey showed it more, but either way it was intriguing. He said then, "Just you saying my name makes me feel warm and absolutely blissful. Does that tell you anything?"

 _He's in love with you._ Yumi's words came back to me, and I wondered then if it could be true. The song we were listening to picked up; it was no longer Led Zeppelin, but instead a simple folk ballad, calming and romantic. And the way Sirius danced me around the shore perfectly in tune with the music, and the way I felt closer to flying than walking in circles, and the way our eyes never left each other but we still managed not to trip or bump anything, and the way Sirius held my hand with our fingers interlaced, my heart was pounding and I was absolutely falling for him, if I hadn't already.

I couldn't resist moving closer, so that my head rested on his chest; he responded by placing our shared hands against our shoulders and wrapping his other arm farther around my back. He kissed the top of my head and we moved in smaller circles, but I wasn't dancing now. I didn't hear the music, because I was far too focused on one simple sound: his heartbeat.

 _Tha-dum. Tha-dum. Tha-dum._

The last time I listened to that sound was in James' Potter's kitchen floor, when I was falling apart; it was much different when I was falling in love. Before, the sound had meant I was being held by something real, something alive; now, it was the sound of life in someone who seemed very much like a dream come true.

We continued to dance until our feet were too tired, and then we scaled the low-branched oak growing by the shore, as the hazel was too small. We reached one of the higher branches, and I went one higher while Sirius sat on the one below on the opposite side of the trunk. He reached up and took my hand as we sat with our legs swinging.

"You haven't told me much about your family," Sirius said. "What's your mother like? Your father? Do you have any siblings?"

I smiled, feeling his hand in mine. "I'm an only child; my father died while my mum was pregnant, and she never moved on."

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, sw- Sirius." I had almost said sweetheart; where did that come from? "Mum and I are close, and that makes up for it. We write each other often, and while she doesn't completely understand the wizarding world, she knows enough about it to understand what I tell her." I chuckled a little. "You should have seen her face when she learned I got her a puffskein for Christmas."

Sirius chuckled as well. "Speaking of puffskeins, is Kettleburn having you help raise anything weird this semester?"

"Not yet, though I suppose puffskeins and a dragon in one semester should be enough for the year."

"Not at Hogwarts."

I nodded. "Not at Hogwarts, you're right."

"Anyway, your family- what about distant family? Have you any cousins, aunts, uncles..?"

"I do, though it isn't as detailed as your family."

I launched into an explanation, and he listened attentively, commenting now and then on members he wanted to meet. I told him of Aunt Beatrix passing out drunk two years ago at Christmas, and of my cousin Willem coming out as a wizard, and of my grandmother passing away eight years ago. I told him of everything, it seemed. I told him things I never said to Cassi or Yumi; I told him things I had thought I'd take to my grave, and it only barely crossed my mind that that was unusual of me. It just seemed so… Natural. It always did with him, and I had no idea why.

As the moon climbed past its peak, we went back down from the tree and Sirius looked at me. "What do you want to do now?"

"You mean now that we've eaten, danced, and discussed my entire family?"

He nodded.

"Hmm. Well, what would you like to do?"

He smiled with one side of his mouth. "Would it be alright to suggest dancing some more?"

I chuckled and agreed to it, and we started to dance, this time a much more upbeat style of partner-dancing, though still a waltz.

"Are you joining the group to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

"I hadn't thought about it yet. Who all is going?"

"Lily insists on staying behind to study, so James will be with her, but I know Cassi and Amos were planning on a romantic outing. I was considering date-crashing and forcing them to accept my presence; they need to get to know me, anyway, if they're your friends. That seeker of yours- Kao- was talking about going to see her beau, so she'll be there if you get bored of me. I just want another day like that one time, but without the awkward ending and no Priscilla Aldridge convincing me to date her."

"Sirius Black, I swear on the life of every hazel tree in Britain, if you start dating another girl I will never speak to you again."

To my surprise, he smiled, twirled me, and then said, "I wouldn't blame you, because that would mark me as the biggest fool in the wizarding world."

"I mean it."

"Hazel, I've been falling for you all year, if you haven't noticed. Do you really think that now, when you're actually giving me the time of day, I'm going to run off with someone else? I'm not that daft."

My face matched my dress by the end of his words, and I just smiled at him. "Okay."

We continued to dance a bit longer, and then as a song ended I yawned behind my hand and Sirius smiled at me. "Come on, let's get you back to your dorm; you're falling asleep on your feet."

"I'm not that tired," I lied, yawning again at the end of it. He raised his eyebrows, smiling at me.

"Yes, you are. Let's go."

Grumbling quietly, I agreed, boarding the broom behind him once we had cleaned up the picnic supplies and put them back into his bag. We flew up to the astronomy tower, and he put away the broom while I stood by the landing, looking out at the moon. Sirius came up next to me and took my hand, turning to me. He lifted a hand to my face and gently eased my jaw so that I was looking at him.

My heart suddenly started pounding rapidly, and he gave me a small smile and glanced at my lips. He moved the hand on my cheek to the back of my neck, cradling my head, and then put his other hand on my side; I responded by placing both hands on his chest.

He moved down, and touched his lips to mine.

My eyes closed as one of my hands moved to the back of his neck, holding him closer to me, and I kissed him with an unprecedented intensity, the intensity of long-held anticipation and a wealth of feelings. A light, cheerful flutter rippled through my chest. There were no fireworks, no tingling sparks; instead, I felt only that this was where I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to do.

Kissing Sirius, holding our lips firmly together, just barely moving them, made everything suddenly feel right in the world.

 **A/N:** They finally kissed. You can all go home now.

(no, shh, I was just joking, there's still a lot more than this to go, this book is far from over)

Thanks so much for reading, guys. I don't know when I'll next be able to update; I have to walk two miles on a busy road to get to the closest place with free WiFi 24/7 (the library closes at 5 or 7 depending on the day). The things I do.

Don't forget to review, thanks for reading!


	40. Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

At breakfast Saturday morning, I was asked a very peculiar question.

I had just finished loading up my plate when Newman Boyd, my fourth year fellow beater, came running to my seat at the table, slammed his hands down on the opposite side, and caught me with wide eyes. "Is it true!?"

"Is what true, Newman?" I asked, noticing Cassi and Yumi staring at him curiously.

"That you're dating Sirius Black?"

I pursed my lips. "I don't know." I stood up and looked at Sirius at the Gryffindor table next to ours and shouted, "Sirius!"

He looked up at me with wide eyes, looking as if I had caught him copying test answers.

"Are we dating?"

He grinned and stood. "I don't know- are we?"

"Do you want to be?"

"Yes! Do you?"

"Why not?" I replied with a grin.

"Great! Brilliant! Now the whole Great Hall knows we're together!"

"Fantastic!" I laughed and turned to Newman Boyd as Cassi, Yumi, and then in turn several others started clapping; James and Remus applauded Sirius. In a normal voice, I said to Newman, "Yeah, I guess we are. How'd you hear?"

"Sirius came back late last night in a daze, apparently, and Lyra Dale overheard him tell James Potter that he was on a date with you and everything went wonderfully."

"Yes, I suppose that's true."

"I knew it!"

Newman ran off again and I rolled my eyes and sat down. Cassi stared at me, her jaw dropped and cheeks lifted in a smile. "Hazel Drummond, since when are you so bold?!"

I grinned, my cheeks red. "Since Sirius Black kissed me under the moonlight."

"Details, all of them, tonight in our dorm," Yumi demanded. "It's not a request. There's no getting out of it."

"Fine," I agreed, "But only if you tell me about Adonis and Cassi tells us about Amos."

"We all have someone this year," Cassi noted. "That's brilliant."

I spent most of the trip to Hogsmeade pulling Sirius into shadowy corners and snogging. He was a wonderful kisser, and finally getting to taste his lips was such sweet relief. Every kiss seemed to diminish whatever stress and fear I had held onto over time, and now there was only happiness and love in its wake (not that we had dropped the word yet).

That evening, I had to write a letter to Mum.

 _ **February 5, 1977**_

 _ **Dear Mum,**_

 _ **Something big has happened, and I wanted you to know.**_

 _ **Do you remember Sirius Black? I told you about him over break. I may have painted him darker than he actually is; blame that on the sting of supposedly-unrequited love. But a lot has changed since then.**_

 _ **Sirius's family disowned him after he returned to his abusive family in my defense; the woman from the train that night was his cousin, and he blames himself for not influencing his family more strongly not to be that way. So he returned, and when he mentioned my name, his brother pointed out that I'm a "half-blood" (meaning half-wizard, half-muggle). His family is very prejudiced, and he hates that about them; almost as soon as they learned he was there in defense of a half-blood, he was disowned, his picture erased from the family tree, and he was removed from the property by magic. There's a reason he lives with James.**_

 _ **After I learned of this and saw how depressed he was about being virtually orphaned, he and I bonded back to how we used to be, only closer now because we shared a common struggle against the darkness in our own skulls. I confess I've been heavily depressed due to what happened over the break, but he's helped me with that. He understands me, Mum. I can't put into words the way he makes me feel.**_

 _ **About a week ago, I traveled to Hogsmeade with him and a few of our other friends; some events happened there that I won't reiterate just now- suffice to say we nearly died, Sirius attempted to kiss me, and I saved our lives. Sirius and I then had to talk about it, because neither of us have been clear about how we really feel about each other. So we finally talked.**_

 _ **He took me on the most romantic date, Mum. He set up a moonlit picnic followed by dancing on the shore of the lake, and then we spent all day today at Hogsmeade together. I'm not bold enough to say so, but I'm falling for him, very quickly. I can guarantee he feels the same, as he's better at communicating than I am.**_

 _ **As of this morning, he's my boyfriend, and I want you to meet him.**_

 _ **That aside, I hope you're doing well. I haven't heard much news lately about Oxford, but should anything happen, I trust you'll let me know. Stay safe; I love you.**_

 _ **All My Love,**_

 _ **Hazel**_

I sealed it and ran it to Archibald, and upon my return to the common room, I was successfully kidnapped by my dorm-mates, Pandora included. Yumi stood like a golem in front of the door, ensuring I would not leave.

"Spill," Cassi demanded.

With a laugh, I nodded. "Very well."

I told them everything- _everything-_ which kept them up until past one, and then they reciprocated, starting with Yumi.

"I really think he's the one," Yumi admitted. "I know that's naive, but I've loved him since I first laid eyes on him. It's like something out of a fairytale; we click so well, impossibly so, it would seem. He wants a future with me, and he even gets along with my parents- my father _loved_ him, which you know is rare. My father doesn't even like Cassi."

Cassi snorted at that.

Pandora went next, confessing her feelings about Xeno. "He's so strange, but he cares so deeply for me. He's concerned about my constant experiments, and he thinks I'll put myself in danger. But the other day, he thought of the perfect baby name- he's just certain we'll have a girl. He wants to name her Luna."

"Pandora, why are you talking like you're having a kid?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, though I don't intend to return to Hogwarts next year."

"Dora, why not?" Yumi asked, leaning over her bunk and looking hurt.

Pandora shrugged. "You have to admit we've all grown distant this year, all focused on our different love lives. Xeno proposed over winter break, and my plan is to experiment with potions- that's all I want to do. He has a job secured already and will start immediately after graduating, and he inherited a home from his grandfather recently. We want to start our lives together. I have no reason to return."

I was tearing up at this point. "We'll miss you so much, Dora."

She smiled, loftily doe-eyed as always. "I know. I'll miss you, too, and you'll simply _have_ to come visit once I get the place set up."

"Oh, come here," Cassi said, "We need a group hug if this is our last year together. Next Hogsmeade trip is about us girls, and just about us."

We group-hugged and I suppressed a sigh as it hit me exactly how much had changed. We were all growing up, maturing, and changing; we all had plans for the future and intended homes and jobs. What did I have?

I had Sirius, sure, but for how long? I was falling steadily for him, but would that be enough? Where was I going after Hogwarts? It seemed like only yesterday that Cassi and I were sat in her living room talking about our plans, and I was talking about joining the Falcons and she had no idea where she was going after Hogwarts and I was teasing her about Snape and… Now where were we? Pandora was leaving us in June and not coming back. Yumi had found her soulmate, and had stated plans to attend St. Mungo's Summer Program for Medically-Inclined Wizards & Witches. Cassi had been receiving letters from similar programs, and had Amos wrapped around her finger.

Where did I fit into all of this? Who was I to anyone?

 **A/N:** As long as I'm walking two miles each day for April's Camp NaNoWriMo, I'm going to take advantage of WiFi while I have it to give you guys more chapters. The problem there is that I've only written as far as Forty-Four, but the end of it is on a laptop that won't turn on because the power cord turned off. I may just end up rewriting it, but I liked it how it was because I was _finally_ actually finishing that chapter. (I'm having painful writer's block with this story right now, so I'm glad I've written ahead some.)

Anyway, Chapter Forty! Where are our characters going! _Who actually knows!_

...and who liked the bit about Xeno suggesting Luna as his daughter's name. I don't actually know if there's a canonical story behind it, and I apologize if I was wrong, but, hey, he had to have something to do with it.

Thanks for reading, lovelies- don't forget to review!


	41. Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-One

I hit the books hard after that night. I needed to get back on track; Professor Bronte had already pulled me aside to state he had noticed my lack of focus, and Professor Slughorn had given me a warning that my grade had dropped dangerously. I couldn't have plummeting grades.

Sirius was not conducive to studying, and eventually I said I was off to take a bath and hid out in the common room in order to be able to focus. After two weeks of focusing on my books and still finding time for Sirius and quidditch practice, my grades were back where I wanted them to be, and I was called to Professor Flitwick's office.

I reached the office and sat down in the chair opposite his desk while he dusted off a few books, and then he looked up at me and smiled, sitting down and scooting his chair forward. "Good," he greeted me, "You showed up. Ambrose Fitz was in here last, and took an extra hour in showing up and then left while I was looking for a certain book. Anyhow, Miss Drummond, as you know, your sixth year at Hogwarts is halfway over. We want to make sure you're still on track for your plans, but I looked and you didn't have any. Have you come up with any new plans post-Hogwarts?"

This was so relevant to my recent fears that temporarily I froze. Upon thawing, I managed to say, "I- um- I was considering playing for the Falmouth Falcons, and then being an auror."

"I think those would both be very good paths to take. Have you also considered any summer programs for Care of Magical Creatures? I noticed it's one of your highest classes."

I shook my head. "I haven't looked at anything; I'm not sure if you heard the full story, professor, but I had a rough winter break. I've been trying to recover from that."

"I hope you do, but I also want you to remember that life moves on around you. It's a hard truth to accept, but I don't want to see you swept away. I think a summer study would be good for you, in fact, and I have programs for several. Would you like to see them?"

I nodded, and he handed me several pamphlets. I glanced over them as he continued speaking.

"The Falmouth Falcons will be pleased with your record, I think, though I'm no quidditch expert. I can recommend you to Professor McGonagall; she's better with quidditch-related things. As for being an auror afterward, I'm sure the ministry would be pleased to take you- but these are dark times, Hazel, and I suggest you contemplate this carefully before making a rash decision."

"Professor, with all respect, this war has personally affected me. I've asked Dumbledore twice now if there's a way I can help fight. It's no rash decision."

"And what has he said?"

"Exactly what you'd expect from a headmaster, to finish my education first."

"Can you blame him?"

"No." I shifted one of the pamphlets to the top. "On the other hand, this says there's a summer study for 'rising aurors'- sixth and seventh years considering the job with a good record in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It would set a good record for me, wouldn't it?"

Professor Flitwick nodded approvingly. "Indeed it would. So, you're on track, then? Talk to Professor McGonagall about the Falcons, and sign up for that program?"

I nodded, standing. "I suppose so, yeah. That's it, then?"

"That's it."

It was only minutes until the bell in Potions; Snape was scribbling frantically in the notes of his book, offhandedly tucking his hair behind his ear, while Cassi and I used a team effort to cut a particularly hard-shelled bezoar and Yumi knocked her head against the table. Pandora had already managed a perfectly-brewed draft of the potion we were trying to make, and needed only to wait a day for it to distill; Cassi, most of the class, and I would have to return later to finish the potion.

We started to pack up, and McGonagall stepped in the room with Regulus Black being toted by the ear. She was fuming. "Slughorn, take care of your student."

"What has he done?" Slughorn asked, amazed.

McGonagall was still angry. "He made several jokes about the attacks on muggles that have occurred over the past few months. It was very inappropriate and unlike him, and I suggested he shut it before things get worse. His response was that they'll get worse anyway."

"Regulus, m'boy!" Slughorn exclaimed, astounded. "What's gotten into you? You've never been like that before!"

Regulus only stood with his shoulders hunched in and didn't reply.

"I recommend a month's detentions," McGonagall said. "We have students here who have been affected by the attacks on muggles. To speak of them so disrespectfully, with so little tact, is of the highest offense aside from laying praise to the Dark Lord himself!"

The class was silent. But my mind was flashing back to the night on the train; it wasn't as strong as the flashbacks had been, I wasn't hallucinating, but instead it just made me feel quite low. I turned back to my potion as McGonagall and Slughorn finished up their business. I dropped the bezoar into the goopy substance, and then the bell rang. Relieved, I grabbed my bag and strode out.

I stopped by the Great Hall and grabbed a buttered roll and an apple, and then strode out. I saw Sirius notice me leaving and stand; he could guess where I was headed. I reached the Room of Requirement only moments later, and Sirius entered not even a whole minute after I did.

Sirius and I had been alright during our first little while of being together. We didn't fight as much, and we talked more, but with my constant studying, we also didn't have as much time for each other. Now that my grades were back up, though, we could resume spending large amounts of time together. But that wasn't the point now.

"Hazel?" Sirius strode over to me where I saw in my usual armchair, and took my hands. I didn't look at him. "Hazel, what's wrong?"

I still didn't reply, and he squeezed me hand.

"Hazel, please talk to me- you know how much it bugs me when you ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you, Sirius, just… Gathering my thoughts," I said quickly. Sirius sighed and bowed his head to my knees.

"What happened? Can I get a general summary?"

"Your brother."

He withdrew, snapping back so he could look at me. I didn't miss the slight decline of his eyebrows or the flash in his grey eyes. "What about my brother?"

"It's not like that," I assured him. "It's that your brother thought it would be fun to joke and laugh about the attacks on muggles. McGonagall dragged him all the way to Slughorn's class to tell of what happened, and I don't care what consequence came of it, it's more just that I was upset by it. He's supposed to get a month's worth of detentions, anyway. It just got me thinking back to what happened."

"Oh, Hazel." Sirius stood, still holding my hands, and tugged my hands outward. "Come on, stand up."

I looked up. "Sirius, no, I'm fine. I'm alright."

"No, you aren't, and even if you are, I still want to hold you."

I couldn't suppress a small smile at that, though my stomach trembled still at the dark memories. I stood up and Sirius pulled me to him, holding me tight to him.

He lowered his voice, speaking close to my ear, "Hazel, if you ever need me for that kind of thing, you know I'm here. If you need to be held, just say so. If you need to talk about it, talk about it. I won't tell a soul. I'm here for you, Hazel, if you ever need me. Drag me out of class if you have to. I only want to make sure you're happy. That's what's important to me."

I continued to let him hold me, and then managed a quiet, "Thank you."

He held me tighter at that, and I heard him exhale slowly, the way one does when something is strongly emotionally affective. I wondered why that had such a profound effect, but wouldn't question it now. I just enjoyed his hold a moment longer, and then pulled back and kissed him.

"You're welcome, Hazel," he said quietly, and smiled and kissed my nose, then my forehead, and then attacked my cheeks with kisses until I smiled and giggled. He grinned at me. "There's that Hazel smile! I was wondering when I'd see it again."

I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks redden a little. "You're ridiculous."

"And you're blushing."

"Am not!" But as I said it, I felt my cheeks heating more. Sirius chuckled and kissed me again.

"You're adorable."

I narrowed my eyes, gripped him tighter, and pulled him to me, kissing him fiercely. When I pulled back, he looked winded. I grinned and chuckled. "Still adorable?"

"Yes, and also an amazing kisser. You come back here."

He kissed me again, and again, and I felt instantly cheered up. We spent the rest of lunch snogging.

 **A/N:** Yay for Hazel/Sirius fluff! They're getting _sooo_ adorable. Sorry for making Regulus an asshole; he gets better over time. Got a lot of character development planned for him. He's still a young little brat caught under the Black family's thumb at the moment, so forgive him his ignorance for now, please.

Anyway! It was raining today so I got a ride instead of walking two miles in the rain. Ha, there's a dog outside and I thought of Sirius. I'm getting obsessed with this story again. I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter!

Thanks for reading, darlings. I appreciate the continued support so much. Don't forget to review!


	42. Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two

Quidditch practice started back a week later. Bartram had a fit about my dating Gryffindor's beater, but I assured him it wouldn't get in the way at the pitch.

And then it was March, and winter was receding to let spring take its place. The Ravenclaw house was ecstatic in the springtime, for no particular reason; we all came back to our books and helped each other out and made our way around with other Ravenclaws, for no known reason except that it was nice to be friends again after our hearts chilled in the winter. Or so we told ourselves.

And then the fight happened.

James and Lily had been going steady for some time, and were quite adorable (if not a little phlegm-inducing). Sirius and I, on the other hand, were fighting that day, though it wasn't _the_ fight of the day.

"Sirius, how can you possibly _not_ understand why I don't like that?"

He threw his hands up. "Because it doesn't make sense?"

I groaned. "You dated _her_ instead of _me_ when I made it painfully obvious I fancied you and I know you fancied me, and now you request to be her partner in potions! That's horse-shit! You carry a torch for a girl and then request to be her partner- what if I went out of my way to spend more time with Bartram?"

"You do- you're on his team!"

"I can't help that! It's the only Ravenclaw quidditch team, if you haven't noticed, and it's only for three more months and it's not like I ever _picked_ him over you!"

"It doesn't matter! You're still going out of your way to spend time with someone who fancied you!"

"I never fancied him- that's the difference! I see your point, but you won't open your eyes enough to see mine! I don't like you spending time with girls you've dated, Sirius- it rubs me the wrong way and if you can't understand that then you don't care about me as much as you claim to. She fancied you, you fancied her, I had to watch you two snogging. You don't have any situation equivalent to that for me to compare it to. What if I were to snog Remus and then spend a bunch of time with him where you can't see us? It just looks bad."

"So you _do_ fancy Remus! I knew it, all this time-"

"Sirius, no-" I grabbed his arm, pulling him to me. "I fancy you and I have since September, if you haven't noticed. I've had plenty of opportunity to try and date Remus and I haven't because I've been too caught up with you. It just- it would kill me if, after all this waiting, you were to leave me for someone else."

Sirius took my hand. "I'm not going to leave you, Hazel. No one is going to come between us."

"I don't even like giving them the chance to try."

He still didn't comprehend my point, and I could see it in his face. "Cheryl isn't going to try, and even if she does, I won't let her do anything."

I felt heavy, dark anger and sorrow and pulled my hand free of his. "That isn't the point, Sirius," I said softly. "I'll catch you after quidditch practice."

I left the hallway and went to the pitch, mounting my broom and getting ready to practice. I put the fight with Sirius behind me, trying to just enjoy the game, and practiced alongside the others for the next couple of hours. It was nearly sunset when we finished, sweaty and smelly, and none of us felt like changing back out, tired as we were from practice. Instead, we just traipsed along toward the Great Hall with growling stomachs and shared smelliness. Strange the things comradery does to the mind.

And then we heard the shouting.

I looked over and spotted James, Snape, Lily, Peter, Remus, Sirius, and a few other Gryffindors by a tree. I raced over, leaving the team behind; James was levitating Snape and taunting him, calling suggestions to the others on how else to torment the Slytherin boy. Before I could do anything, Lily charged up and shoved James.

"Stop it, James!"

Severus fell to the ground, and quickly righted himself, saying, "I don't need your help- _mudblood!"_

At the word, Lily stepped back in shock, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at Severus, who gaped at her, seeming shocked himself. Lily turned and fled; James began tormenting Snape with renewed fury. I looked over at Sirius and glared. "How can you be a part of this?"

Sirius only flitted his eyes at me. "What do you care? Aren't you still being pissy with me?"

I stepped back, astounded and angry, and strode off, catching up with the Ravenclaw quidditch team. There was no way I was helping Snape after what he just called Lily, but nor was I condoning what the Gryffindors were doing to him. Snape was in the wrong, but that didn't excuse what they were doing. I found McGonagall on her way to the Great Hall and briefly explained what was happening- basically that Snape called Lily Evans a mudblood and now was being bullied by some other members of her house- and then strode off to the Great Hall.

Despite my newest emotional turmoil, I managed to eat; after wolfing down my food, however, I stood and left the Great Hall. I bathed quickly and changed into a soft green turtleneck and jeans, and then went to the Room of Requirement. Within, I found Lily, sat in a corner with her knees pulled to her chest and her head down, copper hair sprawled out over her. I sighed and strode over, wrapping an arm around her. She looked up at me with green eyes shimmering with tears.

"Are they still torturing him?"

"I sent McGonagall after them."

Lily stared forward. "Good. I hate that James treats him like that."

"You're not mad about what Severus called you?"

"No," Lily said, "Just disappointed. That's not like Sev, but I can't forgive him for it. I don't know what's gotten into him."

I rubbed her back a little; the girl was beautiful, smart, talented, skilled- she deserved a better best friend. I stayed there and consoled her for a while; she didn't want to talk, but she didn't protest my company. We just sat in silence, and then she stood.

"I have homework to do, if you don't mind my leaving," she said. I rose to my feet as well.

"No, no, go ahead, I have a bookwork for arithmancy anyways."

She smiled. "Thanks, Hazel. you've always been a good friend to me. I hope things work out for you and Sirius."

I forced a smile. "I do, too."

Lily peered at me knowingly. "What is it? What's going on?"

I almost didn't say, but then sighed. "Sirius specifically requested to have Cheryl Grier as his Potions partner and can't understand for the life of him why that bothers me so much."

Lily nodded once. "I'll talk to him."

"You don't have to-"

"He's upset anyway. He'll listen better to someone separate from the situation. I imagine you're also mad at him for encouraging James."

I nodded. "Very much so. I hope he figures out I sent McGonagall after them."

"No, don't let him know that; you're only saying that because you're still mad. Just let him know if he has detention it's his own fault and remind him you don't approve of what he did."

I shrugged. "You're better with people than I am; I'll accept that advice. Thanks, Lily; I hope you feel better soon."

She nodded and left, and I followed, going the other direction toward Ravenclaw Tower. When I reached the corridor, to my surprise, there was a sullen, lonely figure waiting for me, his pale face etched with regret and framed by dark hair. I sighed and strode forward, stopping a few feet away from Severus Snape, and crossed my arms.

"What, Severus?"

He dropped to his knees immediately. "Please talk to Lily for me, I'm an awful friend, I need her, I _love_ her, I don't know why I said that, please, Hazel, please-"

I stopped him, holding out a hand. "Severus, I can't help you. The only thing that _can_ help you is for you to apologize to her yourself. As it stands, I can't believe you would say that, and I'm still questioning whether or not I'll even speak to you again. You betrayed your best friend, called her the worst name possible- and where has it gotten you? You're further from her than ever and basically just pushed her into James' arms."

Severus sighed. "I know." His head dropped. "I've ruined it. I have no chance now."

"Probably, but you've still got to try."

He nodded and stood. "You're right. I have to try."

That night, Remus wrote me to meet the group in the Room of Requirement; Lily was still upset, and he wanted me to be there, thinking it might help her to have another girl. I went in and sat down; James was holding Lily close to him.

"I'm going to kill him," James growled, looking over Lily's shoulder. She swiftly withdrew and grabbed his shoulder.

"James, no-"

"Lily, it isn't even just because I hate him. It isn't because I'm jealous of how much you care about him. Yes, it's partially for you, but also because he shouldn't call anyone that, period."

"James, listen to me. You're already on careful watch after earlier. If you retaliate any more, you might be expelled."

"I don't care."

"I do!" Lily took his hand, and cradled his cheek in her hand. "Please, James."

He stared her down, his voice dropping low. "Why are you forgiving him?"

"I'm not," she replied. She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I just don't want you getting in trouble."

His face relaxed, now showing concern. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," she said, voice faltering, "I lost my best friend."

"You still have us," Sirius said, striding up and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"And me," I added. "I know it isn't the same, but we're here for you as well."

Sirius looked at me, his grey eyes flooded with regret, and I wondered what it was he was regretting.

We stayed in there for a while, talking to Lily until she was happier, and then left again. Sirius insisted on walking me to my dorm, but didn't speak most of the way there. It was only when we were almost there that he tugged me into a deserted classroom, closed the door, and hugged me tightly. I didn't hug back at first, despite the faint stirring in my chest, as I was still pissed.

"I'm sorry, Hazel," he said. "I'm so sorry."

I shrugged. "I'm not even upset anymore. I don't care."

He pulled back, his hands on my shoulders. "I do. I'll change back to the group; I don't know why I changed to hers in the first place, I- it was stupid. I'm stupid sometimes. Just remind me what I care about more, okay? It's not that I forget, it's just that I have trouble making good decisions sometimes."

I shrugged again and pulled out of his hold, going to sit down in the window sill. Sirius sat down next to me, taking my hand. "Are you okay?"

I looked away still. My thoughts had drifted too far for more to still bother me involving Sirius and Cheryl. I was just down. "Did you hear about the more recent news with Voldemort?"

"Hazel."

"More Death Eaters, apparently."

He took my hand, and then turned my face.

"I have a feeling this'll just get worse," I babbled, talking about more than just Voldemort, but stopped at the look Sirius had.

"Hazel, what else is wrong? It's not just the thing with Cheryl, which won't even be a thing tomorrow."

I sighed, looking down. "I'm just tired of prejudice. From houses to blood to prejudice against werewolves and animagi… It's exhausting."

"Don't let that get you down," Sirius said, tossing an arm over my shoulder. "There'll always be stupid people. You're loads better than any of them."

"Even Cheryl Grier?"

Sirius sighed. "Definitely. I'm just daft sometimes. You're definitely better than her, and someday, you might even be as great as me."

With his teasing smile and twinkling eyes, his words of reassurance and adorable antics, his hard past and astonishing strength, I wanted to claim his mine for as long as I could. I realized something then I wouldn't forget.

I might love him.

 **A/N:** Woo! Dramaaa.

I apologize before you can even review on how painfully inaccurate this chapter was. For one thing, we're a whole year late on the fight (when I started the story, I couldn't remember if it was fifth or sixth, and hadn't really planned on the story going anywhere- and then it did and I was left a little stuck). Just, for story's sake, let's pretend it happened in sixth year. It's been so long since I've read the books that I know the Snape/James/Lily thing was somewhat inaccurate, which is why I got Hazel out of there. No WiFi at my house, and my copy of the books are with my sister in California, so I couldn't fact-check while writing.

Good news though, I do have access again to the laptop with the rest of the latest chapter I've been writing. I'll probably be publishing a new chapter every day until I'm caught back up. It is time for Camp NaNoWriMo, and I'm only two chapters further than this one in writing, so it'll slow down soon, but for the moment this is where I'm at.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!~


	43. Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Three

"I see… Swirling, so that could be anything, depending on context. In the middle there's now a mask, and- flames. A mask and flames. What could that be?"

I leaned back from the crystal ball and took another sip of cinnamon tea. Professor Harley tilted his head to the side. "Perhaps a disguise?"

"A mask would indicate such, but fire could be many things- generally, passion, be it fiery rage or the spark of love. Is this a sign for me, or..?"

"What do you feel about it?"

"That it is for me. I'm feeling… It's not meant as a warning so much as an encouragement. It's telling me something for the sake of getting me past whatever reservations I have."

"Masked passion, perhaps? Holding back something you should say?"

"Masked passion. That sounds about right." Professor Harley chuckled. I took another sip of tea. "Maybe it's telling me to grow a pair and say what I should."

These were the kind of words I could only say to Professor Harley. Any other professor would give me detention, but the young divination teacher wouldn't mind. He tilted his head to the side, his icy eyes looking at the crystal ball. "Did you ever discover the meaning behind the phoenix sign?"

I nodded. "Finally, yes, but I'm afraid I can't tell you."

He looked at me knowingly with a slow nod; I wondered then if he knew about the Order of the Phoenix. Would all of the professors? Professor Bronte certainly knew, as did McGonagall, but I couldn't be sure of the others, and it definitely wasn't my place to say. Professor Harley and I continued to chat for a while, and then walked to the Great Hall and parted ways. I sat down at the table with Cassie and Pandora and Yumi. Cassi raised an eyebrow at me.

"How does Sirius feel about your date with the divination teacher?"

Grinning, I shook my head. "It's not a date- it's studying. Sirius knows how I am about my schoolwork."

"Oh, speaking of," Yumi turned to me, "The team is stealing you for Hogsmeade this weekend. Are you game? It'll be easier if we don't have to drag you kicking and screaming."

I chuckled. "Why are we going as the team?"

Yumi shrugged. "Bartram said earlier that the team doesn't do enough together, and to make sure you knew you have plans. He wants us all to act like a team."

I nodded at her. "I'll be sure to tell Sirius. He and I have gone to Hogsmeade together almost every trip since term started; he can miss one with me and go bug Remus or something."

Yumi glanced at the Gryffindor table and back to me. "Speaking of Remus, how is he?"

I side-stared at Yumi warily. "Why?"

She shrugged, her beige cheeks reddening some. She turned her dark eyes back to her food innocently, tucking a lock of black hair behind her ear. "Just wondering."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Yumi, I thought you were with Adonis- why are you asking about Remus?"

Yumi shrugged. "He's… Handsome, and smart, and kind. I just want to get to know him better."

"What brought this on?"

She sighed, dropping her fork. "You're with Sirius, Cassie has Amos, Pandora has Xeno- I'm the only one who doesn't go to school with her boyfriend. And I had a weird dream about Remus the other day, where he was just- just really sad, and ever since I've wanted to get to know him better. He's single, and Adonis is barely around me anymore. Last time I went to Hogsmeade, Adonis didn't even say hi to me; I stopped by the shop and his aunt just said he was busy and went back to talking to someone else. I don't think we'll last, and I want to have a backup plan."

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. "Yumi, I love you, but you can't talk about him like that."

"Adonis isn't even-"

"Not Adonis," I clarified, "Remus. He isn't a backup plan. He's _Remus._ You're right, he's handsome and funny and polite and incredibly talented and smart. And he's one of my best friends. You can't talk about him like that. No one can."

Yumi just stared at me for a long moment, and then leaned forward some. "Are you sure it's Sirius you want to be with?"

I stood. "I'm certain."

I left the Great Hall, heading straight toward the Room of Requirement. I reached it soon after and Sirius walked in behind me, closing the door softly. I had noticed him following shortly after I left, but I didn't feel like talking just yet. Sirius's soft cinder gaze met my eyes and he asked gently, "Can I come in, or would you rather be alone?"

"No, please come in," I said. "I don't mind." He came and sat at my feet and gently removed one of my shoes, and then started to rub my feet.

"What happened?"

I sighed, letting my eyes focus on the soft curves and sharp angles of his features. "Yumi had a dream about Remus, and things aren't going well for her and Adonis, and she asked about Remus because she wants to set him up as a _backup plan_ in case she and Adonis fail. I told her that Remus isn't just a backup plan, he's a great guy and one of my closest friends, and she accused me of fancying him, not you."

Sirius paused his foot-massaging. "And what part of that made you angry?"

"All of it! I've only talked about you for _months_ now, half a year even, and she should know you mean so much more to me than Remus does. On the other hand, he's still a good friend and I don't like her acting like he's second place. If a girl wants to be with Remus, then she needs to act like he's her first choice, and not just the result of a failed relationship. It's not fair to him, and what she said at the end isn't fair to me, or you."

Sirius stood then and took my hands, lifting me from the chair and kissing me. I let his kiss buoy me, as it always did, lost for a moment in his warm lips and gentle touch. He withdrew after a moment and smiled down at me. "Can I tell you something?"

I nodded.

"I've never been jealous until you. No other girl had that power over me, but for whatever reason, the thought of you and someone else always makes me want to fight someone. Even still, I care about you all the more due to your ability to care so much for my friends. You're right- Remus needs someone who cares about him, and not just because someone else didn't care about them. You're a good person, Hazel. I'm just getting very territorial."

He said it with a teasing voice, but his eyes were harder. I kissed him, placing my hands on his neck. "Sirius, you should know already that you're the only person I want."

He offered a tight smile. "I'm going to have to take some time getting used to that idea."

Now it was my turn to feel a twist in my gut. I held down my spark of anger as I asked, "Why is that?" _Does he not trust me? Does he not_ want _to be the only person I want? I can change that._

He sighed, and his smiled dropped. "Because I don't know why you'd want someone like me."

"Sirius," I sighed, hugging him.

"Think about it, Hazel- if I'm afraid of getting too close to someone, I avoid the emotions and run after someone else, because it's easier not to care. We're in different houses and quidditch season starts soon; how are you going to feel then? Are we going to fight more?"

"Because of a game?" I stepped back, looking at him.

"It's not just a game to either of us, Hazel- quidditch is a huge part of who we both are. As are our houses, and our friends, and if you haven't noticed they don't exactly coexist peacefully. And I have to keep from getting jealous when you study with your professor, simply because he's young and handsome and you seem utterly fascinated by him. Again, I'm not used to feeling jealous."

I smiled in what I hoped was a comforting expression. "Sirius, you have nothing to be jealous about. You're gorgeous, and sweet underneath your mischievousness, and loyal and funny and-"

"And you're all of those things and more."

"And talented and smarter than you give yourself credit for and an amazing quidditch player, an amazing friend, and even more than that an incredible person. I could never want someone else."

He stared at me for a long moment, and then sighed. _I love you_ was on the tip of my tongue but I held it in; this wasn't the moment. He finally managed a small smile, and his fingers toyed with my hair at the end. "Hazel Drummond, you are the sweetest girl I have ever met, and yet you're still intimidating when you want to be. I think I-" he paused, his lips parted and eyes wide; he looked like he had just realized something, but didn't say it. He smiled again. "Anyway, I hope you know I don't want anyone else, either. Come on, let's work on that application for your summer thing."

I smiled. "You're sure you don't want to come with me?"

"I want to be near you, but I can sacrifice however much time it'll take. I'd rather you be able to focus while you're there, and let's face it- I'm distracting."

I rolled my eyes, grinning. "How so?"

"With my chiseled jaw, toned body, and alluring, husky voice? How wouldn't I be distracting? Especially when you know I'm all yours, and no one else can have me but you."

I smiled and stepped closer to him. "Fair point. I suppose you should stay away… Just so I can focus until I'm home."

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist, closing the distance between us. His sparkling cinder eyes were centimeters from mine as he said, "And when you return?"

I grinned. "You can distract me all you want."

It was then that, as always, the perfect moment ended as the door burst open and James came tumbling in shouting, "Boggarts-! Boggarts everywhere! Sirius, you're brother- ugh, he's an idiot, he released _all of them!"_

Sirius could only sigh as we headed out for yet another adventure.

 **A/N:** As of this chapter, you have read over 100,000 words of my writing, and for that I am incredibly thankful. I have no idea why you've stayed to read this long, with my sporadic updating time and the parts where the story has lulled and my occasional habit to drift away from canon for the sake of my version of events, but that only leaves that you actually _like_ my writing and characters and story, and for that I'm so appreciative. It's nerve-wracking, you know? Pouring your heart out into a story and then putting it out there for the world to see. So your continued support is beyond my dreams. I know this story isn't one of those that has 500 reviews and 4,000 followers, but I'm happy with what I have.

Thanks so much for reading.

Now, the actual chapter! I know it's kind of short as far as what all happened in it, but the next chapter will have more action (a _lot_ more), which is why I'm switching chapter updates to biweekly. At the moment, I'm looking at Sundays and Wednesdays, but it's not certain yet. With NaNo going, I've been writing a lot more, but not of this book. I'll have to keep pushing myself to keep writing more chapters of _three_ different projects, because my stupid overachiever self decided two books in one month would be appropriate for NaNo.

Anyway, thanks for reading, lovelies. Don't forget to review!


	44. Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Four

March rolled in on a spring breeze, warmer than I expected on some days and yet still offering snow on others. The first quidditch match was almost upon us- Ravenclaw versus Slytherin. I was afraid the team was overconfident; after we destroyed them last term, Slytherin was bound to have improved, especially considering how they played in the match against Gryffindor before winter break. A lovely Saturday was rolling in the day before the match, which was the first Sunday of March; there was no Hogsmeade trip today, so we were all stuck in the castle with idle minds.

It was on such lovely day that I nearly went to blows with one of my closest friends of six years.

The library was quiet and stuffy and I had been studying for _hours_. I had submitted my applications for summer schools, and now had spent the better part of the day in dusty corners surrounded by books. Finally, I left, going to the Clocktower Courtyard to eat the lunch I hadn't touched and soak in some sun (or, at least, breathe some fresh air if the persistent cloud-cover returned). And then I saw it.

There are some things in life you never expect to see. There are some people you expect to actually listen to you, or at least have their heads screwed on properly. And there are some situations you just won't stand for. This was all of the above.

Remus, dear sweet Remus, sat with a quite uncomfortable expression in his dark blue eyes, which were turned to the closed book in his lap. I remembered him saying only two days before that his entire plans for Saturday consisted of finishing the book he had been reading, and now he had been deprived of this due to the wicked siren to his right.

Yumi, the girl who had only just promised earlier that week after much debate that she would make no such advances, sat all too close to Remus, fiddling with her hair and resting a hand on his forearm. She was batting her eyelashes and had that soft smile she had turned on Adonis.

A sudden fire flashed through me. Here was one of my closest friends, turning her back on me again, breaking a promise she had made to me just recently. She had so many options and she chose the one person who would suffer most from being led on. I knew Remus, I knew him far too well, and I knew the kind of heartache it would cause him to be replaced by someone else. The boy's self-esteem was in the negative if it existed at all. I couldn't just stand by and let him be used.

And then he spotted me and mouthed, ' _Help.'_

And that's when whatever cool I had left was swallowed up by the abyss and I lost all of my patience. All of the strife of the past few months boiled up in a rage and I was storming across the courtyard to them before I could even pretend to think about it. Yumi saw me coming and looked up with surprise in her eyes as she saw my expression, and her hand flew free of Remus's arm; he scooted a few centimeters away and turned his eyes to the book, despite not reading.

"Yumi Kae! What did we just finish talking about only a few days ago!"

Yumi gulped. "Hazel, I-"

"No! There's no excuse you can make that'll cause me to forgive you. I'm not putting up with this anymore! Not from you, not from Cassi, not from Pandora- all three of you need to get your heads on straight! But right now, you're the one who's here for me to talk to- and so I'm going to. You're not going to use Remus to get back at Adonis. You aren't going to date him for a few weeks and then throw him away. All of the bragging I've done about how great of a person he is should not persuade you to use him- it should persuade you to treat him like a human being. You shouldn't be like that toward anyone! Yumi Akemi Kae, you are better than that."

"And you're perfect, right?" Yumi snapped, standing up barely centimeters away from me. "Perfect little Hazel Drummond, haunted by dreams of death eaters and her oh-so-tragic fatherless past, managed to rope in Sirius Black, the unattachable, and now you are just perfect. Going to a summer apprenticeship and saving lives, future quidditch team captain, can do no wrong-"

"Yumi, I could write novels on the wrongs you've done, but I'm not so shallow as to bring them up now, and I don't appreciate you acting that way."

"And you're so mature."

I nearly screamed, but as it was, managed to keep my voice just low enough not to attract attention. "My only problem here is that Remus is a wonderful person and I won't see him used any more than I would see you or Cassi mistreated. Why can't you understand that?"

Yumi's dark eyes flashed. "You're making me out to be this awful person! I really don't appreciate it! And you've insulted all of your closest friends- ever since you've been with Sirius, you've changed, and I don't like it! Before now, you'd be encouraging me to be with Remus; had I picked anyone else, you wouldn't even care!"

"You don't know him like I do!"

"Then why don't you date him!?"

"He isn't for me! Sirius is! I don't want Remus in that way, but I won't see him put through this by you!"

"Why do you care so much if you aren't interested in him?"

"It's called friendship, Yumi- I don't have to be a Gryffindor to understand loyalty!"

"Loyalty." Yumi laughed softly, stepping back. "Loyalty would be supporting the friends who have been there for you for six years, but I can see why you'd switch to the friends you made only months ago. You're not the same Hazel Drummond I knew and called a friend. Don't talk to me."

Yumi strode off, and I watched her go with forlorn eyes, and then turned to Remus. After a shaky, soft breath, almost a laugh, I asked quietly, "You okay?"

His dark blue eyes glimmered with sympathy as he looked up at me. "I'm okay. Are you?"

I shrugged. A dark pit had lodged itself in my chest. "I don't know, Remus, I-" I cleared my throat, but still couldn't manage much louder than a whisper. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry you lost a friend for me."

I shrugged again. "Lost one, gained one- I guess that means the ratio's the same. Don't worry about it."

"Still, that's one of your best friends-"

"Remus, don't worry about it." I forced a smile. "It's fine. She's right, I'm not the same Hazel Drummond she knew, but nor is she the same Yumi Kae. People change over time, and sometimes they grow apart. I... It's fine."

Or at least, I can pretend it is.

"See you at the game, Hazel."

"Goodbye, Professor."

I left Professor Harley's office with Xeno just behind. He blabbered on about Pandora, and I finally grabbed his arm and pulled him into an alcove. "Xeno, don't do this."

He cocked his head to the side. "Don't do what?"

"Don't pull Pandora out of school. She doesn't even want to finish her sixth year."

He sighed. "She has a lot more going on than she wants you three to know. She's... Well, she's Pandora. She's lofty, and cheerful, and optimistic, and she's had some things going on that would damper the way you three perceive her. She's barely told me any of it, but I can understand well enough why she would desire so strongly to take some time to herself. I know you care about her; believe me, I love her more than life itself. I wouldn't do this otherwise. She said she may come back eventually, if that helps at all."

I sighed. "Xenophilius Lovegood, you know I respect you and even, to some degree, look up to you. You've been a friend to me for years, and never given me a reason not to trust you-"

"So trust me now, with this."

"-But I just want to be sure you're ready for this, that she is ready for this. You two have been together only since the beginning of the school year, and I know you've loved each other longer, but you have to really make it through things to be certain. Are you certain? Can you see yourself still not saying anything about little things she does that annoy you, ten years down the road? Can you see yourself growing old with her, raising kids with her? If she gained a bunch of weight and lost all her hair and got an acid burn on her face, would you still love her?"

Xeno put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me with a fiery light in his pale eyes. "Love is not vain, Hazel. Whatever she looks like doesn't matter. I love her beautiful blue eyes and alabaster skin and long golden hair, but if she lacked those things, she would still be kind-hearted and imaginative and dreamy and intelligent and all of the things that make her Pandora Kalloway. I want to make her Pandora Lovegood. I'm absolutely certain. I've known from the first time I saw her, in second year, that I would end up with her- that's why I was never worried about dating anyone. I already knew. I've been certain since I was twelve years old, Hazel. You have nothing to be afraid of. I understand your concern, because she's one of your best friends and has been for years; I would ask myself the same questions and I have. I waited so long due to fear I didn't deserve her, until I finally realized no one does, but she wants me and I'm willing to work to keep her happy. If I'm ever not what makes her happy, then I will leave, immediately, and only return if she's certain she wants me to. Give me a chance, please."

I took a deep breath. It had been bothering me ever since Pandora had said she was leaving, but now I was much more reassured. I would still keep Xeno on his toes, because that would more likely keep him on his best behavior. I met his eyes, and the sincerity there. "Okay. I'm sorry if I seemed aggressive, I just... I wanted to be sure. I know Pandora hides things from us; she tells us years later that anything happened. I just needed to know I could trust you with her. She's a very beautiful soul, and I wanted to make sure it wasn't her beautiful face that had drawn you in. I've never thought you were that person, but I just-"

"Had to be sure, I know," Xeno reassured me, smiling. "I'll take care of her, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that."

He nodded and stepped off, leaving the hallway. I took a breath and started off as well. I roamed the halls for a while. It had been a day since Yumi and I fought, and I wouldn't be surprised if she really never spoke to me again. I didn't know who she had become in the past year, but Yumi a year ago would've admitted she wrong and apologized to me, or at least to Remus. A sigh pulled from my chest. I needed some alone time.

I spent a few hours in the astronomy tower, reading. It was vacant at the moment, and I would take advantage of the peace and quiet. A chilly breeze swept in through the opening, tugging my hair and rippling across the pages of the book I was reading. I let myself get lost in the world of some adventurer from the 1800's, some man who had run around finding different magical creatures and observing them, interacting with them, and getting to know them. It was good to lose myself in someone else's life for a change, and helped me calm down. After a while, Bartram found me, and it was time for the first game of the season- Slytherin, again.

I made my way down to the pitch, changing quickly in the locker room. Yumi wouldn't meet my eyes. Newman Boyd approached me as he strapped on his arm braces, asking quietly, "What's going on with you and Kae?"

I shrugged, shaking my head. "She was being immoral, and I called her out on it. She threw it back in my face and we both said some things we shouldn't have. She said not to talk to her, so I haven't since."

His mouth quirked to the side, and then he patted me on the back. "Sorry to hear, Drummond. Hope things get fixed with you two. You've been friends forever."

I smiled at the fourth-year. "Thanks, Newman. C'mon; let's forget about the drama and play some quidditch."

The match was going worse than expected. A steady drizzle quickly turned into a heavy thunderstorm, and I could barely see through the rain to hit the bludgers back toward Slytherin. Slytherin had been practicing, a lot, as I had feared- they were better than us. With Yumi scatterbrained and unfocused, I had to save her from bludgers three times before Ravenclaw even had ten points. It was as if she was positioning herself in front of them. Newman was too focused on keeping Bartram in the clear, and Bartram was having a hard time dodging anything either. The whole match was going to hell.

Finally, after an hour, when we were all soaked and bruised and my legs were going numb, Bartram called a three-minute time-out. The team gathered around, and Bartram looked at all of us with earnest burning in his eyes. "They're beating us by sixty points. Our only hope is the snitch." He looked directly at Yumi. "If you don't get in gear- no, if you even don't think you can, I'm replacing you with someone else. You haven't been focused at practice, you've been skipping practice even, and now, during the game, you've been floating along like some damn stunned pixie."

I wanted to feel bad for her, and despite her animosity toward me I did feel some pity when I saw the crestfallen gleam in her dark eyes. She very tentatively said, "I- I'll get it, Bartram. I just..."

"No, no excuses," Bartram snapped. "Either figure it out now, or go get your replacement."

"Bartram," I said, stepping up. "Yumi's been our seeker all year and we've done really well. But, Yumi, you don't have to-"

"I don't need your help, Hazel," Yumi said, a fierce glare in her eyes. She turned to Bartram. "I'm fine, Bartram. Let's go."

Idina grinned as Yumi mounted her broom and flew off. "Looks like she's got it back."

"Hazel, you okay?" Bartram asked me. I grinned and nodded.

"Yeah. I knew I'd piss her off by trying to help. Now she's going to rage her way through the game and get the snitch, no doubt."

The game was put back in session once we were all back in position. Slytherin's captain smirked at Bartram, who just smiled back casually. Our confidence was back up, and standing for a minute had given the team a minute to work the cold and wet out of our bones. The game continued on, and Yumi spotted the snitch almost immediately. The rain had thinned some, going from a misty downpour to a light drizzle, and we were focused now. Morale was back up, and that was important.

Holly Greely, Slytherin's keeper, threw a quaffle back our way; Ambrose bounced another back at her as she did, and we were ten points further ahead. The game kept going until we were tied, and then it was announced that the snitch seemed it would be the determining factor- until the weather turned nasty again. Yumi lost sight of the snitch and almost got hit with a bludger. Idina and Ambrose were hard-pressed. Newman was working as hard as he could, but even I was having trouble keeping up with the game. Our team's point-gaining slowed, until Slytherin was so far ahead that in twenty more points it wouldn't even matter if we caught the snitch.

Then a tiny golden glint flew past me, followed shortly by Yumi, who nearly knocked me off my broom. I followed after her, guarding her. She glanced at me and shouldered me. Over the rain, she shouted hoarsely, "I don't need your help!"

"You might!" I shouted back. "Just accept it for the sake of the match!"

Slytherin's seeker was coming from the other way, straight toward the snitch. It suddenly plummeted downward, and Yumi followed afterward, nearly falling off her broom. I turned so that Slytherin's seeker would be stuck behind me and followed after her- and then saw a bludger flying toward her at an angle. I sped down as fast as I could.

Several things happened at once or within seconds of each other.

The announcer boomed that Yumi had caught the snitch.

I intercepted the bludger, turning at the last second so it bounded into my sternum, cracking multiple bones at once.

My broom splintered as another bludger, unannounced, hit the front end of it.

I hit the ground from four meters up and coughed blood up.

Dark shapes flew into the stadium, and people began screaming.

 **A/N:** One more chapter posted! Things will even out in the next one.

Sorry I'm a day (or two) late on my indicated update time. I got kicked out of my house! It was _awesome_ (not really but covering my emotions with sarcasm is so much easier to deal with). Anyway, here's Chapter Forty-four. Chapter Forty-Five will be coming up soon. I'm behind on Camp NaNo. D:

Sorry for being late, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to review!


	45. Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Five

As screams began to echo around me, I felt my consciousness fading. Agonizing pain burned from my chest. Yumi landed next to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Hazel! Hazel, are you okay?"

I shook my head, gasping for air. "My- my ribs, my chest- ow!" I groaned, falling forward, and then looked up. I didn't recognize the Death Eaters- I was too far away. One flew down to the field and began to saunter toward us. This one I recognized: Greyback. I placed myself in front of Yumi, saying quickly to her, "Stay back and don't say a word!"

Her eyes grew big, fear lighting her features as she shrank back. I withdrew my wand and pointed it at Greyback.

"You're supposed to be dead," he said gruffly. "I saw your corpse."

Nonverbal spells, nonverbal- _petrificus totalus! Expelliarmus!_

Greyback fell back stiff, and his wand shot off to the side. A sudden roar of flame and an all-too-familiar cackle drew my attention away from Greyback. A man I didn't recognize swept out of nowhere and grabbed the stiffened Greyback and flew off, followed by Bellatrix.

I took a gasping breath, and turned to Yumi, seeing dark shapes flit away overhead as Dumbledore and McGonagall put out the fires. "Y-Yumi, are you okay?"

"Hazel!" I coughed up blood, and she reached over and laid me down flat, elevating my head some under her hand. "Stay still, okay? I've got you."

I could feel my breath growing more raspy, and shallower, as I gasped for air. My lung had been punctured, I realized.

"You're going to be fine," Yumi promised. I looked over at her, my eyes unfocused. The dark hair around her face merged with the darkness in her eyes and the dark clouds overhead, and very suddenly, everything went black.

The attack on the pitch had everyone shaken. One student was dead- a muggleborn named Harvey Reese. Every muggleborn at the school was terrified, and the Daily Prophet ate up the story, absolutely thrilled to have something big happen rather than scattered attacks. All students were kept in the Great Hall or the infirmary, depending. Several were in for burns.

I woke up the day after the attack. Madam Pomfrey had done a good job, as always, of patching me up. I was still required to stay under her care an extra four days, just to be certain. The morning that I awoke was lonely; no one was allowed to visit the infirmary. Classes were stopped. No one cared that Ravenclaw had won the game. Not even me.

I thought several times about the fact that the bludger had been hit with much more force than was necessary, and had been aimed for Yumi's head. If I hadn't intercepted, she would've died. I didn't care about a petty squabble, or even a reasonable argument; she was still my friend. That hadn't changed. Every pair of friends went through rough patches, especially if they're friends for as long as we've been friends.

I completed my application for the "Aurors of Tomorrow" summer study and sent it out. Archibald wasn't pleased; it had been stormy lately. I studied extra, learning what I could- mostly from the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. There were rumors, even in the infirmary, that Hogwarts would close for the year.

It had been two days when the dementors showed up for extra defense, accompanied by aurors stationed around the grounds. That was also the day I learned Regulus Black had been in the bleachers' stand that caught fire, and was also in the infirmary. His face had suffered some burns, but the worst were on his arms and legs. Madam Pomfrey got them to a survivable level, and then declared it best to let them heal on their own with the aid of poultices. I only learned he was in there because he came to visit me.

He came over and sat next to me on the bed next to mine, recently vacated by a healed and released Hufflepuff. I creased my eyebrows at the sight of him; memories of what McGonagall had said returned to my mind, and I looked away.

"You're Hazel Drummond, right?"

"If I say no, will you leave? I'm not in the mood for you right now."

He sighed. "Why is that?"

"For what you said about the muggle-attacks. I was in Slughorn's room that day."

His voice conveyed genuine sorrow when he next spoke. "I came over here to apologize. I don't know what had gotten into me. I've been thinking a lot since then- about my family, about Sirius. He came and spoke to me about it, you know."

I looked over then, only for Sirius. "Go on."

"My parents have made it out like Sirius is this awful person. They stopped being so aggressive after he moved out. It's still not easy to live there, but... I want to be a better brother. I wanted to be a better son, but I've given up on that. I've learned the only way to be worthy in my parents' eyes is to be a prejudiced, terrible person, and I don't want to be that way anymore. I just don't have Sirius's courage. It's easier to pick on those I've been taught are lesser, to throw around words like 'mudblood' to establish some kind of... Superiority, I guess. I think that's why my parents are like that. All of my family is terrible, you know- my cousins, Andromeda and Bellatrix and Narcissa, have had it even worse. I'm sure you don't want to hear, and won't pity them, but those three have been through far worse than Sirius and I. It's just easier to hate some group, to feel like you have something over somebody, when you're controlled and manipulated and made to feel like nothing.

"I know it doesn't excuse how I acted, or what I said. I'm not asking for you to forgive me. It would be really great if you did, brilliant even, but I understand if you don't. I was... I was out of line. I'm not as brave as Sirius, I don't have the courage to stand up to my parents- but I'm working on it."

I met his dark eyes. "Regulus, I'll accept your apology, but I won't forgive you until I see change. You don't know what it's like to be half-blood Hazel, witness to the slaughter of innocent humans for no reason other than their lack of magical ability. Until you start actually fighting to change the fact that people are dying, I might never forgive you."

He nodded. "That's... That's understandable." He looked then at the pamphlet for the "Aurors of Tomorrow", which I had been reviewing to be certain of what I signed up for. "What's that?"

"It's a program for students who want to become aurors. Why?"

He looked back up at me. "That would count as fighting for good. Right?"

"That and an attitude change. They aren't going to want someone who thinks he's better than others due to his blood."

He sighed again, looking down. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll work on it, I promise."

I nodded. "Good. Keep that promise."

He returned to his bed at a stern comment from Madam Pomfrey, and I laid there for a while, trying to read but too caught up in what he had said.

The day I was to be released, classes started back. It was established that all classes would be held in a classroom in the actual castle. I tried to return as if nothing had happened, but when I entered the Great Hall that evening for dinner, the whole Ravenclaw table stood and cheered. Some Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs joined them. I curiously looked around, smiling awkwardly, and made my way to Cassi.

"Why are they all clapping?"

She grinned at me. "You're a hero, Hazel- you saved Yumi's life, and fought a Death Eater. It's one thing for the whole school to hear about you getting chased through the woods, but it's another thing for the whole school to witness you save Yumi from a bludger and then, while covered in your own blood and with broken ribs, stand between her and danger and fight a Death Eater and win."

I smiled and looked around, and then sat down. It was only once I started eating that everyone else resumed their meals as well.

"How are you feeling?" Cassi asked. I shrugged, and then winced.

"Not my best, but Pomfrey says I'm free to go if I feel ready. No quidditch for two weeks, though."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Drummond!" Someone shouted from down the table. I leaned forward to see Newman Boyd, his arms raised high. He and the rest of the team cheered for me again, and I noticed Yumi sitting with them. She offered me a smile, and then looked away. I sighed.

"She'll come around," Cassi assured me. "She said she wants to be friends again, but she wasn't allowed to visit, and she didn't want to pressure you into forgiving her while you were upset."

I shrugged. "She's okay. The potentially dying thing always makes me more forgiving."

Cassi chuckled. "I can't say I know the feeling, but that sounds about right. Hey, are you still doing that auror thing?"

I nodded. "I sent in the application a few days ago. Haven't heard back yet."

Xeno looked up from Pandora then. "Which auror thing?"

"Aurors of Tomorrow, in London? The summer study?"

He smiled. "I have a cousin who's going to that. Edith Briar- you should keep an eye out for her."

I nodded. "I'll try to remember that."

"Or Beverly Jordan," Cassi suggested.

"The Hufflepuff?" Pandora clarified, and Cassi nodded.

"She was talking about it in History of Magic."

"I'll look for both," I said. We continued to chat until dinner was over, and as we left the Great Hall a warm, callused ivory hand took my wrist and pulled me off to the side. Sirius's soft, supple lips touched mine and he kissed me deeply, and then pulled me into a gentle hug.

"I want to squeeze the hell out of you but I'm afraid I'd hurt you if I did," he said. "Oh, Hazel, I was so worried."

I smiled and hugged him. "I'm sorry." I pulled back, leaving my hands on his arms as he kept his on my waist, and smiled at him. "I talked to your brother."

He tilted his head. "Aren't you mad at him, though, for what he said?"

I nodded. "Of course, but he apologized. He explained his point of view, which is that he's been taught his whole life that he's better than others, and that the whole family is terrible, and then he said he wants to change but doesn't know how. He said he isn't as brave as you, but he wants to do better. I think you should talk to him about it."

Sirius nodded once, looking around as if expecting his brother to show up around any corner. "I will."

I yawned, and Sirius kissed me afterward and then said goodnight, explaining he figured he would let me rest for a while and then steal me for Hogsmeade, if the trip were still on. I nodded and he walked me back to my dorm, and then left. I entered the Ravenclaw common room to see most everyone had gone to sleep, probably tired after all of the stress, but Yumi remained sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. I made my way over and sat down next to her.

She gave me a look both hopeful and remorseful, and then looked away again and sighed. "Hazel, I'm so sorry. I was out of line, and we've both changed a lot but we're still friends. We've always been friends. It would be stupid to stop that now, when everything is uncertain. I... I might not get a chance to make it up to you if we fight again. I don't know what tomorrow will bring." She looked at me, taking a deep breath. "I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry."

I pulled her into a careful hug. "It's okay, Yumi. I forgave you the second I saw that bludger coming toward your head."

"Thank you for saving my life. And for being my friend."

I smiled. "You're welcome, Yumi. Thanks for finally apologizing. I've missed talking to you."

She shrugged. "I would've apologized sooner if I could've. Anyway, get some rest- you look exhausted."

I laughed sleepily, my eyes sagging. "I am. Goodnight, Yumi."

"Goodnight. I'm coming up there soon, I just need to study some."

I nodded and disappeared into my dorm. I collapsed onto my bed, happy to be back in my own sheets.

"Welcome back, Hazel," Cassi said.

"Mmm."

 **A/N:** THE END. Jk.

Sorry for being so late on the update; I've been deprived of WiFi and staying in a house in a very rural area, so I couldn't walk to anywhere with WiFi this time. Anyway, here's the next chapter!

So, I need feedback, ASAP.

I've written this story through to _the end_ and I really don't know if it should be. It's the end of sixth year, and I've started on what would be a sequel, following through until Harry becomes an orphan, and then a third volume beginning after Sirius's escape from Azkaban. Since this story was meant to span over such a long time, and my initial Google Drive document has gotten horribly long, I thought this would be a logical solution. However, the second volume picks up fourteen months after the end of sixth year. So, what do you guys think? Here's the options:

-Combine the ideas for all three into one torturously long narrative, as I originally planned.

-Write three separate novels: this one; one beginning fourteenth months after this one's end, in June of 1978, and ending just after Halloween of 1981; and a third that follows through to the story's planned end.

-Write three separate novels: this one; one picking up where this one leaves off to follow their story more closely, and then separating it into parts to follow until Halloween of 1981; and a third that follows through to the story's planned end.

What do you guys think? I know, as the writer, I should have this figured out, but I don't. I'm intensely second-guessing myself and it's causing some of the worst writer's block I've ever experienced, and I don't know what to write. All of these options would be strenuous, but worth it, because this story has such a complete plot- I can follow it through all the way to its end because I know what's going to happen at all these different points. So, what do you guys think?

Please review soon, or PM if you feel it necessary. Thanks!


	46. Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Six

The map was laid out on the table, but no one was working on it. Our cartography experiment was put on hold for the time being, what with all the drama and uncertainty thick in the air. Rumors were flying that the school would be shut down any day now. Mum had sent me a letter saying she had a gut feeling something bad had happened and to please write to her soon; I told her I couldn't disclose the details yet, but that Hogwarts might shut down for the year, in which case I would see her soon and explain then.

Remus was absorbed writing an essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts, while Peter idly picked at a loose thread in his sweater. Sirius was knocking his head against the table in frustration- he was working on the same Charms homework as I was, an outlined copy of the chapter we were on formed into a chart, poster, or other form of visualised information. I had settled on a large scroll of parchment organized into bubbles containing each charm, with smaller bubbles branched off to give details such as the wizard or witch who had found the charm, the initial use of it, and other charms formed off of it.

"Say, Hazel dearest, what method are you using for the Charms project?" Sirius asked sweetly, giving me an innocent smile.

I smiled back with equal sweetness and drew my knees into my chair so that my parchment would be angled out of eyesight. "None of your business, darling Sirius. Flitwick would know if you cheated off of my paper."

He pouted, his bottom lip poking out. "But you're my girlfriend, which means you're supposed to help me."

"And you're my boyfriend, which means you're supposed to work hard for me." At an even poutier look from him, his cinder eyes big and his lip pooching out further, I relented, sighing and rolling my eyes. I smiled at him. "If you outline the chapter normally, and take _actual_ notes, then I'll help you come up with a method of organizing it. I'm sure Flitwick can't protest to me helping you figure out how to do the project, as long as I don't do it for you."

He grinned broadly. "There's my clever Ravenclaw girl, learning how to bend the rules!"

I just rolled my eyes again. I was about to reply when the door burst open and James swept in like a thundercloud, tense and shaky. Everyone jolted out of their idleness, staring at him with a shared foreboding.

"James?" Sirius started. "What's wrong?"

James, breathless, strode to the table and put his hands on it, his eyes darting around. He finally met Sirius's eyes, still panicked. Looking at his friend seemed to calm him. "I-" But he still couldn't talk. Sirius stood and pulled his chair around, pushing James gently down into it.

"Calm down, man," Sirius soothed, leaning against the table and crossing his arms. "What is it?"

James glanced around the room at his friends, letting his eyes linger on each of them, and then glanced at me and back at Sirius. He kept his eyes focused on Sirius as he said softly, "Dumbledore was talking about shutting down the school."

"What!?"

The cry was unanimous, if not precisely simultaneous, from each of us. James nodded, still gasping to catch up on his breath, and then said, "I heard him from down the hall and paused in a corner and listened. He was talking to McGonagall, and he said- he said if anything else happens to the students, we'll all have to go home."

"But that's ridiculous!" Remus shouted, more vivid than I had ever seen him. His blue eyes blazed. "Hogwarts is the safest place we could be!"

"After the recent attack, I'm not surprised if Dumbledore doesn't see it that way," Sirius admitted grimly.

"But we've added fortifications since then," I pointed out. "Surely he knows that between him, McGonagall, the dementors, and the aurors, nothing else will happen?"

"The Daily Prophet found out," James added, continuing from where he'd been interrupted, "And now every wizarding family that knows is writing letters to the school asking to have their children sent back home. Dumbledore can't fight that many families."

"What did McGonagall say?" Sirius asked quickly.

James shook his head, his eyes still bright with shock. "She said that sending everyone home would be madness. She said that would give You-Know-Who power, as well as put everyone on that train in danger. She thinks it's a terrible idea."  
"And?" I pressed.

"And Dumbledore saw her point of view. He said nothing will change for now, but if there's even another _threat_ against the school from You-Know-Who _or_ his Death Eaters, then- then Hogwarts is finished. Until the war ends."

"That can't happen," I protested. The stress from the very idea of it had my eyes pooling, the tears there a result of fear.

"It can," James said sadly, looking at me. "If Dumbledore says so, it will."

Remus sighed, shaking his head and looking down, and then Sirius said, "What about the map? What about the Marauders?"

James looked up at his best friend. "You already live with me. If it's truly a dangerous war, I wouldn't be surprised if danger came to Godric's Hollow, or Remus's or Peter's house or even Hazel's. Nowhere is safe- except maybe America or somewhere else out of reach, but I'm sure if wizards begin traveling there, he'll follow." There was no need to ask who he meant.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. _This changes everything._ Going to London in the middle of a war would be a terrible idea, but that auror school might have information and skills I would need. The Blacks were based out of London, though- what if one found me, followed me? We already knew that Bellatrix was on the dark side, and I wouldn't be surprised if we discovered other members of their family was, too. Double agents, once-noble witches and wizards acting under the imperius charm, and so on… We'd already read about scattered events like that in the paper, growing more frequent every day. How long would it be before total chaos erupted?

And what would happen to me and Sirius if it did?

I spent the rest of the week wilted by the news, unable to fathom the idea of this great school being closed. Finally, I gave in, and had to open up to someone.

Saturday morning was the usual lesson with Professor Harley. Xeno couldn't make it this time, off somewhere studying for N.E.W.T.s, and it was just me and Professor Harley. I sat down in the usual chair, still fretting, and he came in and sat down. His stark eyes narrowed some at me.

"What's eating you, Hazel?"

I studied his face for a moment, debating whether or not I could trust him. He offered a casual smile.

"Come on, I'm a divination teacher- I can tell when a student's as troubled as you are. Doesn't take a mind-reader to do that."

I chuckled softly, but it wasn't heartfelt, and my smile dropped quickly. I sighed, and then looked up at him. "Is Dumbledore really going to shut down the school?"

Professor Harley stared at me for a long moment, and then leaned forward, his voice lowered as if he knew he shouldn't say this. "I can't say. I know he's considering it, but- what have you heard?"

I gnawed my cheek for a second, knowing I couldn't rat out James for eavesdropping. Briefly, I wondered when I had begun to care enough about James Potter not to intentionally get him trouble. I guess war changes people. Back to the point, "I heard Dumbledore and McGonagall talking the other day- I was walking back to my dorm, and only heard a little of what they were saying. They were talking about closing down the school if any more attacks, or even threats, occur. McGonagall thought it would make the school look weak, would give You-Know-Who power. But Dumbledore wasn't sure if that mattered when everyone's safety was questioned."

Professor Harley leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were guarded, as was his entire expression. "There are things I shouldn't tell you, Hazel, but I'm going to. This school has been at risk for seven years now, and Dumbledore knows it. It was only a matter of time before something happened, before there was an attack. Hogwarts has closed for lesser things- but never permanently. There are a number of different occasions when the school has closed. More than that, the ghosts are here for a reason- and it's not to protect the school. It's because their _bodies,_ for the most part, were either tied to the school or found in it. If the school closes, it'll open back eventually, but Hogwarts is not and never has been as safe as it seems. Nearly every dark witch or wizard started out here, and not all of them were Slytherins, you know. War changes people immensely: friends become enemies, enemies become noble, the strong become weak, and the weak become fearless. Whether Hogwarts will stay open, I can't say. But I can tell you that if it closes, it's for very, _very_ good reason, and in that situation you should most definitely stay away, stay hidden, and not get involved."

I only nodded, somewhat shocked by the change in the usually easygoing professor. He had spoken with an intensity that made him seem a million years older and much more experienced, and I suddenly wondered what horrors he had seen- either in his past or to come. I could only barely suppress a shudder. _War changes people._ The words continued to run through my mind.

Professor Harley sat back, sighing. "What a dark way to start the morning," he commented, but the usual light had left his voice, leaving him dark and grim. "I think I may need solitude for a while." He looked up at me, still grimacing, and his jaw twitched. "Would you mind if we resumed lessons next week? Would you forgive me for that?"

I nodded. "Of course I'll forgive you."

He gave me a tight smile, but there was something off about his expression. "Stay safe, Hazel Drummond."

With that, he stood and strode into his office. I watched him go, and then stood abruptly and left, walking briskly out. Something about the whole conversation had left a sour taste; I could tell, deep in my gut, that much more had just happened than I was aware of. Professor Harley had changed, and it showed. There was a darkness in him- something I couldn't quite process well enough to interpret. Someday, I might know, but at the moment I had no idea what I had just witnessed. There was almost too much darkness going around, with everything lately.

Unable to shake the odd feeling from my mind, I decided to go for a walk around the grounds, and began to follow the trail toward the lake. I passed Ogg's hut; the elderly fellow was pouring bags of cornmeal onto the ground outside a trembling crate that emitted odd noises from the creatures within. I strode past toward the lake, and then sat down under a tree a few meters back from the shore, where I'd be within the shelter of the forest.

The tall trees rose coldly in the overcast morning, their narrow trunks blackened in the half-light. I gazed around at them, and then at the gray lake lapping onto the pebbly shore, its waves toppling over one another. I leaned my head against the tree I was sitting under and let my eyes close. Images of the day played back through my mind, and the past week: I saw again James' startled expression; and Sirius's concern as he asked- no, begged- me to talk with him about what we'd do if the school shut down (I told him I couldn't accept that as a possibility yet); the wall that had appeared between Yumi and I; and then this morning, the guarded look in Professor Harley's eyes. Looking back now, I couldn't tell if my memory was imaging the fear beneath his guard.

Some time later, I opened my eyes and I sat up, trying to figure out what woke me. I put out a hand and felt light drops hit my palm. Disoriented from the unexpected nap and sore from sleeping against the tree, I rose to my feet, trying to figure out what time it was. The sun was invisible, lost behind the darkening clouds that rolled in. I sighed and stepped toward the lake for a moment, wanting to watch the rain tap it; as I strode forward, I tripped over something, and barely caught my balance against a tree. Once I was stable, I looked over and down.

My eyes grew wide and I gasped, my vision blurring as tears filled my eyes. I sank to my knees, faced with the sight before me.

There, on the forest floor, pale and ghoulish, was Sirius's dead body. Blood stained his chest and neck, and his head fell to the side limply, his grey eyes staring lifelessly into the forest beyond me. Gasping and choking on a sob, I sat there in shock, immobile.

Footsteps strode toward me, but I couldn't look away. I was too shocked, too grief-stricken, by the sight before me.

"Riddickulus!"

The voice shocked me. I looked up to see Lyra, Cassi's sister, standing with her wand pointed and a fierce look in her eyes. The boggart turned into a balloon and floated away. Lyra looked over at me, and then seemed to process my expression. She raced over, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"Hazel, are you okay!?"

I just shook my head. "I- I fell asleep, and then I woke up and saw that- and- and I thought it was real. I thought he was dead…"

She grabbed me in a tight hug, pulling me to her. "Oh, Hazel. I'm so sorry."

I just numbly wrapped my arms around her in an attempt to hug her back, but I couldn't seem to feel the enthusiasm. The disorientation, followed by the grisly image, had left me apathetic. I sighed and pulled away, standing. She copied me.

"I just need to be alone for a while," I said. "It's been… A long day."

She nodded, understanding in her young eyes. "If you need to talk about it, let me know. Can I ask, before you go, what you were doing out here? Seems like a bit of an odd place to nap, if I'm honest."

I just shrugged; I couldn't even attempt a smile at her humor. "I needed to go for a walk, to clear my head. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I understand. Kettleburn sent me out here to look for some kind of rock for… Well, I'm not exactly sure what for, he didn't say."

I nodded. "Sounds like Kettleburn. Need any help?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, thanks. You go have your alone time. I can tell you're still shaken."

I managed a smile at her in gratitude, and then left. One thing I liked about Lyra was that she never hovered over you or forced you to talk about anything. She just accepted it if you needed space to be alone. She was a rare person, with a true gift for understanding. This made me feel even worse for lying to her; I didn't need to be alone- I needed Sirius.

I strode back to the castle casually, taking my time. The image of his corpse was still stinging behind my eyes. I knew he had said that he and James were planning to spend the day practicing for quidditch, but I needed him. I needed to hold him, to look into grey eyes full of vitality, to touch his face, to kiss him, to hear his soothing voice and calming words and gentle sense of humor. I needed _him._ And I needed him now.

This set a brisk pace. Through one of the windows, I saw that the quidditch pitch was empty, but I knew he and James wouldn't strictly practice there. They could, really, be anywhere- but if I needed him, he would hurry back. I knew of one sure-fire way to retrieve him.

Upon reaching the Ravenclaw tower, I hurried to my dorm; inside, Pandora was reading casually. She tilted her head at me as I dug through my trunk for the paper.

"Are you alright, Hazel? You look quite shaken."

"Boggart," I explained. She nodded.

"A nasty one, then?"

I just nodded, grabbing the paper and a quill. I sat on the edge of the bed and whispered, "Sirius."

"What's that?" Pandora asked. I glanced at her; she was trustworthy.

"A gift," I answered. "From Sirius and James and Peter and Remus. All I have to do is select the proper sheet and whisper their name, and it activates the paper, and then they have a copy they may write on and we can read what each other has written."

"That's brilliant," Pandora noted sincerely, and then turned back to her book, lost in her own world once more.

It seemed an eternity had passed by before, only a few minutes later, Sirius replied. I was close to writing to Remus by the time he did.

 _Hazel? What is it?_

My hand shook as I replied, and my handwriting came out sloppy, so I hurried.

 **Boggart. Nasty one. Meet in RoR please. I need you.**

"Mischief managed," I whispered, and then put the paper back in my trunk and strode out. I crossed the front room quickly, ignoring the glances from other Ravenclaws in there. As I reached the door, Bartram called my name, but I ignored him and continued on. I all but ran down the halls until I finally reached the seventh floor corridor, paced quickly, and entered the room Sirius and I had set up oh-so-long-ago, only back in January, for the two of us.

I collapsed onto one of the couches, the one where he and I had first confessed to having feelings for each other, and took comfort in its familiarity. The memory helped me calm down; I used the old tactic- focusing on the memory of his eyes- and tried to calm down. But it seemed the more I tried, the harder it was, and I was growing panicky. My heartbeat thudded rapidly against the velvet of the couch, and I could hear how quickly I was breathing; I was losing this battle and I knew it. There was no way I could win-

The door burst open and Sirius swept through the room directly to me. He curled up behind me on the couch, wrapping an arm over me and then nudging my side with his hand until I lifted up to let him wrap his arm around me. He held me tightly, pressing kisses to my shoulder and neck as I began to tremble. Desperate for warmth, I turned around in his arms as he murmured gently, "It's going to be okay, Hazel. I'm here. I've got you. You're safe."

I buried my face in his neck, clinging to his shirt as I shuddered and shivered, trying to regain control and utterly failing. I managed to cry softly, "It was _you,_ Sirius. It was you."

"What was-? Oh," he whispered back. "The boggart." I felt him tense. "You aren't- you don't mean it was just me, do you?"

"No!" I yelped, holding him tighter to me. I wrapped my thin arms around him, desperate to keep him close. "No. You- you were-" But I couldn't say it.

He rubbed my back gently, prompting, "I was what?"

I took a deep breath, and then whispered, "Dead."

He squeezed me tightly, blowing out his breath, and then kissed my scalp. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Hazel. You really care that much?"

I looked up at him then, and a fierceness claimed me that I hadn't expected. The turmoil and stress and uncertainty lately had me baffled and distressed, and there was nothing I could do to stop myself. Here and now seemed to be all I had; I could no longer rely on the promise of tomorrow.

I sat up quickly and pulled Sirius with me, and then moved so I sat on him. I placed my palms in his cheeks, noticing that- after a few months of us being more and more together- he finally didn't flinch at having me touch his face. It was reassuring; he felt safe. That only strengthened the feeling that I had to do this now.

"Sirius, I may not get tomorrow, or the next day, or a month from now. There's something I _have_ to do, right now."

He stared at me, his grey eyes wide with uncertainty and even a hint of fear. "Hazel-"

"No," I shushed him. "Give me this. You are everything to me, okay? You are the only thing that helps me to calm down, to rationalize. Don't ever doubt the extent of how much I care about you."

"Hazel, one second, please," he interrupted, taking my hand and kissing my palm. "If we're going to do what I think you're planning now, then let me say something first. I'm scared to death that I'm wrong about what you're thinking, but I'm going to step out on a limb and hope I'm right instead of worrying. I've thought about how to say this for a while, and I was planning to tell you on our anniversary, but I'll tell you now instead.

"Hazel Drummond, I will chase you into tomorrow if you will let me. Down gold-paved roads of old and untamed trails new, I will stand at your side and face a dark, dangerous future with you, until the day I can settle down with you in some nice house, likely next to James and Lily, and call you mine forever. I want a _life_ with you, and I mean that. I'm not saying these things to mislead you or to make a fool of you or to otherwise do malice unto you; I'm saying these things to communicate one very simple concept that I am far too terrified of saying.

"You have swept into my life like a warm summer breeze that stayed with me; you aren't a tumultuous wind of passion and havoc, though you are passionate, but instead a calming golden memory that thaws some of the cold, dark parts of me I try to ignore. You took those dark pits and drew them to the surface,and you loved them and cherished them until the darkness was replaced with light, and I cannot thank you enough.

"Hazel, I- I am scared to the bone of my feelings for you. I can't express enough that the idea of getting so close to someone, to allow them to create a new vulnerability in me, to give them the power to utterly destroy me- I- that scares me to the point of wanting to run far, far away from you and your caramel hair and your pretty hazel eyes and your quick wit and kind heart and unique outlook. I can't say enough that every human instinct in me is telling me that this is the single most perilous thing I have ever done, but… The feeling you give me reassures me so much that all of my fears, while still present, are quieted. It isn't how I thought this would be, but it's… It's amazing. _You're_ amazing. And you have given me the courage to face that fear and swallow my doubt and give myself completely over to you, and I have no idea when that happened, but I'm not stopping it. I..."

"I love you, too, Sirius."

"That's what I've been trying to say this whole time. Hazel, I love you."

 **A/N:** 3:D They're so cute.

Okay. I've had that I-Love-You speech written out since, like, chapter three, but it's only just now gotten the proper moment to come into play.

I think I will go with writing three books, and make the next one start immediately after this one ends (or maybe a month later). It'll be separated into Parts, based on seasons, I think.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!


	47. Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Seven

The Great Hall was eerily silent.

No one spoke for fear of what may soon be said. Every student from every house was here; no one dared miss this meeting. Even the last few occupants of the infirmary had been brought into the Great Hall. Cassi held my hand tightly, her nerves making her close to panicky. I glanced at the Marauders; Sirius gave me a comforting look, but I could see fear in his eyes. James had his arms around Lily, who looked worried; James was very obviously trying to be strong for her but just as scared as the rest of us.

It had been a tense week. The end of March approached, April just on the horizon. The quidditch season had been called off abruptly this morning. Strangest of all, though, was that the day after my last conversation with Professor Harley, he disappeared. Perhaps there was an explanation, but I didn't know it. Dumbledore looked around the room, his blue eyes guarded in a way abnormal for him.

"Students," he began, his voice as calm as always. I realized quickly the control in his tone. "There comes a time in every young witch or wizard's life when they are given a defining choice. Such time has come for each and every one of you. Hogwarts will always be your home; the doors will always be open. All of your professors, your teachers, will still be here. But _you_ are no longer required to be. In light of recent events, the decision has been made that no student will be required to return next year, or to continue this year. This school year will end next month, meaning NEWTs begin next week. The intensity of the exam will be lessened, and sixth years will be permitted to participate in the exam.

"You will be allowed to return whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Apparation tests will be tomorrow morning, starting with Hufflepuff house, for sixth and seventh years. If anyone would like to leave earlier than the end of next month, speak with your prefects or house heads whenever you have the opportunity. Until then, be safe, and stay on your guard."

He added the ending with a grave tone, and then stepped down after telling prefects to guide their houses back to their dorms. The usual bustle of leaving the Great Hall began, as voices everywhere discussed what had just been said. The general tone was one of confusion; no one knew what to do.

As I reached the doors, Sirius caught me, and started walking with me, merging into the Ravenclaw group. "Hazel, what are you going to do?"

I found strength in his cinder gaze. He wasn't asking with fear or concern, only with need to know. I recognized then that whatever happened, he was in it with me. I took a deep breath, already certain, and turned to watch where I was walking as I laced my fingers with his. "I'm going to take my N.E.W.T.s next week and see through the end of the school year while I wait out my application to 'Aurors of Tomorrow'."

Sirius nodded. "Alright. And you still want to go to London, despite the war heating up?"

I glanced at him. "If I have to leave early, I will. It's no problem to me."

He nodded again. "Okay."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just trying to wrap my head around this," Sirius explained, his eyes cloudy and far-away. "Dumbledore's ending the school year early- is that the wisest course of action? And Hazel, will you be back next year?"

I shrugged. "Possibly. It depends on whether or not the war is over by then, which I expect it won't be."

He squeezed my hand and sighed. Cassi found me then, granting Sirius only a brief nod of greeting before saying in a rush, "Hazel, I need to speak to you as soon as possible. It's urgent."

I kissed Sirius's cheek. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, go ahead," he said. "Meeting tonight, though, in an hour."

I nodded. "I'll write you if I can't make it."

He nodded back and then disappeared. I turned to Cassi.

"What is it?"

She glanced around and then yanked me out of the flock of Ravenclaws into a small alcove, and then waited. Once everyone was gone, she strode out of the alcove, still tightly gripping my forearm. I carefully removed her fingers.

"Cassi, I'm right here," I said, following her as she briskly strode through the halls. Finally, she reached the abandoned classroom Sirius had found me in way back when, the day of Severus and Lily's fight. Cassi closed and locked the door, and then strode to the window and looked out. I followed slowly, coming to a stop next to her. Her brown eyes were wide with worry, and I took a moment to really look at my best friend, as I hadn't done in a long time.

Cassi was porcelain pale, but she had a faint glow to her that I hadn't seen before. Her hickory brown eyes were short but big, framed by long black lashes, and positioned perfectly beneath thin, round eyebrows. Her button nose was between two gently sloping, apple-y cheeks, and her lips were perfect pink cupid bows. Freckles scattered across her cheeks and nose. Her hair had grown throughout the year, now falling to her elbows in delicate chocolate brown curls. But there was something different about her, and I could see it in her eyes.

"Cassi, what is it?" I tried again. She looked down, and one of her hands slowly found her stomach as she let out a shuddering breath.

"I'm pregnant."

I stared at her, unable to speak.

She lifted her head, her eyes gazing out into the dusk-blanketed school, blue-gray in the light of the rising moon. "At the beginning of winter break, Amos came by to visit. We were talking about our futures, about getting married, and… I lost my virginity to him. I knew he was the one for me anyways, and I wasn't worried about anything. We were careful, of course, but… Apparently not careful enough. I haven't had my period in almost four months. Look."

She lifted the bottom of her shirt, and an unfamiliar roundness had come to her petite body. She rubbed her hand across it. She looked back up at me. "No one else knows, except for Amos. I didn't know how to tell you or the others. But Hazel, I need your help."

Seeing the desperation in her eyes, I nodded. "Anything."

She sighed heavily, looking away. "My mother doesn't like Amos. She thinks he'll push me too far too fast. I can't tell her about this. I need to stay at your house."

The words shocked me. "Cassi, I- I don't know.

"I'll work to earn my keep. I'll get a job, I'll cook and clean, I'll do what I have to. Please, just- ask your mum about it."

I sighed. "I'll try, Cassi. If nothing else, we can go stay with James and Sirius."

She looked at me strangely. "Why would we?"

"James' parents are understanding, and they have the room, and they'll take you in. If you're uncomfortable with that, we pool resources with Sirius and Amos and get a place for the four of us."

Cassi studied me for a long moment. "Why don't you want me at your house?"

I chose my words carefully. "I just… I want a backup plan. I want both you and my mother safe, and both of you could be targeted, making you a bigger target before. Besides, I… I'm going to be where Sirius is, before and after my auror training. I won't be near enough to keep you safe."

"You really think they'll be safe, either?" Cassi snapped. "Everyone is a target, Hazel- everyone, especially he brighter students, like you and Remus and Xeno, and even James and Sirius. You know James will have Lily with him, and she'll be in danger as well. No one is safe- but I have a child to protect."

I nodded. "Alright. I'll talk to my mom about it, and you can go stay with her- but you _have_ to tell your mother why."

"Hazel-"

"You might not get another chance."

She sighed. "Okay."

We both turned to the window. A steady drizzle had begun to fall, and the sky was darkening.

A storm was coming- and we'd best not be here when she does.

 **xox**

"What will we do?"

Lily had finally voiced the question nobody wanted to approach. Sirius's grip around my sides tightened, pulling me to him. "We'll stay together."

"I agree," I said, nodding. I sat up some, patting Sirius's hand, and met everyone's eyes. The Marauders, plus Lily and I, were all huddled in he Room of Requirement. I spoke again, "And that's why I'm moving to Godric's Hollow."

"Really?" Sirius asked, looking at me.

I nodded, meeting his eyes. "Cassi's moving in with my mum, and they'll be safer without me. I want to be wherever you lot are. Everyone in this room means the world to me-"

James gagged, and Lily elbowed him.

I grinned, and then grew serious again. "I'm not kidding, though. I love you guys, I really do, and I don't know when the last time I'll see someone is going to be. After N.E.W.T.s, I'm not coming back. I might as well follow you lot wherever you go. And I intend to."

They were silent, and then James smiled.

"Well," he said, "You're welcome to."

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** I promise I do format these to have breaks between scenes, little ~*~ things, but they never show up after I submit the doc. Anyway.

So, a child is conceived from Amos and Cassi! _Wonder who that could be!_ Lolol.

And the stage is set for the next book, as plans are put in place for Godric's Hollow and the auror program and the next steps being taken in Hazel and Sirius's relationship. I'm half-tempted to just go ahead and post the last few chapters- there're only three more, and then this amazing journey is done (until book two, which will be an exact continuation of book one, as if we were still on the first book).

I'd like to go ahead and thank everyone who has stuck with me and this book. I'm not sure exactly what drew you in, but the fact that you're still reading it is an absolute honor to me. Over 100,000 words that I've written, and you're still here, appreciating every one. I know my update times have been spastic and that my author's notes can probably get a little strange (I'm far too open, I know), but the companionship I've gained from seeing the same names appear as reviews, and new names show up requesting more to read, is absolutely the best reward and the best motivation to keep going. Thank you all. 3

Now, feel free to review! Three more chapters- this part of the story will be completely posted by the end of May!


	48. Chapter Forty-Eight

_2 April 1977_

 _Dear Mum,_

 _I'm writing to inform you that I will be returning sooner than was planned_

 _Let me begin by saying I have not been expelled, I am not pregnant, and I'm not getting married any time soon. I am, however, graduating early, due to recent events that I cannot yet explain. I'll tell you everything when I come home, but I should warn you I won't be there long. I have important things to do within the wizarding world, and you're safer not knowing where I'm going. I promise you._

 _You won't be alone, however, and I won't be gone forever._

 _Cassi needs you dearly. She's been besotted with Amos Diggory for almost a year now, and they've fallen in love over the course of the school year. However, she let things go too far last December. She is currently four months pregnant. The problem is that she has nowhere to stay, and her mother hates Amos. She can't stay with her mum. She's seventeen, which is the age of an adult within the wizarding world, and she needs someone. She needs somewhere to stay, somewhere safe where she can raise her child._

 _The wizarding world has grown dangerous, for everyone in it. Cassi is terrified that her child won't survive if she remains wrapped up in it. I told her I would do all I could to help her, but my duty lies elsewhere. I will explain more whenever I come home, I promise, but I need you to understand that Cassi's situation is separate from my departure. I need you to house my friend if possible. We'll have the space, and she's offered to get a job if you'll take her in- even a muggle job if necessary. She won't be a burden on you. She simply needs somewhere to stay._

 _The train back home will be April 30th. If you could retrieve us from King's Cross, that would be wonderful. I will be coming home for at least a few days before I leave. Cassi, however, will be heading back this Saturday._

 _I love you, Mum. I miss you._

 _All My Love,_

 _Hazel_

I sealed the envelope with wax and made my way to owlery. I took the walk alone in the early-April drizzle, feeling a chill run through me.

N.E.W.T.s had begun. Seventh years would be taking them this week, and sixth years next week. I had passed my apparition test, as had the Marauders, Lily, Yumi, and Amos. Cassi didn't want to risk leaving behind the other person in her. She had spoken to Flitwick and would be going home at the end of the week; she had finally broken down and told Yumi and Pandora. The Marauders didn't know, and it wasn't my place to tell them.

Upon reaching the owlery, I found Archibald and handed the small, flecked owl the letter, and then kissed her head. She stared up at me with big eyes, and I got the oddest feeling she was trying to tell me something.

Very suddenly, she took off.

The time until N.E.W.T.s passed very quickly, it seemed. Everyone was studying; there was no time for secret meetings or anything of the sort. I barely saw Sirius, though we missed each other terribly. I was far too busy to concern myself with that, though.

Cassi left, followed shortly by Pandora, and then it was just me and Yumi. We sat down one night and caught up on everything we had missed with each other this school year. She and Adonis had made back up, and she felt terrible- still- for what she did to Remus. She had even grown the courage to apologize to Remus himself for it.

N.E.W.T.s were impossible, it seemed. The strain on me was exhausting, and no amount of Ravenclaw wit could spare me of that. The entire week was dreadful; one test a day per class was the setup, and it left everyone scrambling each night to study for the next day's. It didn't help the divination students that their teacher had bailed on them not even a month before. We should have been studying, and taught more than this, but there was no time for should-have-been's now. There was only time for studying.

I had no idea how I did on N.E.W.T.s. I didn't even want to guess at how badly I had failed them. Even Remus felt certain he had completely failed them; everyone was stressed.

There were two weeks after N.E.W.T.s left for students to get their bearings and spend half a month with those who remained at Hogwarts. Over half the school had left, and no one blamed them. The hallways were empty. The Great Hall was more vacant than filled, even during dinner. Students played quidditch games and wizard's chess and exploited the library more than usual; we were all lost, only trying to make it through.

Midway through the third week of April, I made a decision.

I found McGonagall, meaning to ask her something, but when she looked at me there was a deep pain in her eyes I didn't understand. It was too early in the morning for her to look that sorrowful.

"Professor?"I greeted her. "Are you alright?"

She took a deep breath, looking down. "One of our students has been orphaned. She only had one parent left, and now that one has died. She has nowhere to go this summer." McGonagall's voice cracked, and I felt jolted; I had never seen her like this.

"Professor-" I attempted, but she cut me off.

"No, no, you came in here for something." She took a deep breath. "There's been a great deal of pain lately, and it got to me for a moment there." She looked at me directly. "But we must be strong. What did you need?"

"I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore."

"About what, may I ask?"

"The Order of the Phoenix."

McGonagall led the way down the halls briskly, seeming livened by mention of the order that would help end this war. I wondered briefly which Gryffindor had been orphaned; the poor girl. I couldn't imagine losing my mum after growing up without a dad. I would have to speak to her about it if I could, and if she wanted. Grief was a queer thing, and the girl might not want company.

We reached Dumbledore's office shortly after and I climbed the stairs to it. Inside was Professor Dumbledore, sitting behind his desk and gazing at his phoenix, Fawkes. I smiled at the bird, and then grew serious. This was the moment. McGonagall strode forward.

"What did you need?" Dumbledore asked, and McGonagall gestured to me.

"She has a request to make of you."

I greeted him with a nod, standing a few meters away, and then nervously stepped forward. I needed to gauge his expression for this. "You saw firsthand at the quidditch game how far I've come. I fought a Death-Eater single-handedly to defend my friend, even while I was coughing up blood and couldn't hardly breathe. I'm not the same Hazel that was left stranded in the forest, stumbling around unable to fight. I know, I wasn't supposed to be able to fight then, but I'm able to now. I'm more rational, and I've gotten a million times better even in these few months.

"You told me to wait until I've graduated to ask about joining the Order of the Phoenix." Something in his expression hardened slightly, and I rushed forward. "I'm not planning to come back next year if I passed my N.E.W.T.s, which I believe I did. So I have a proposal for you: if I passed my N.E.W.T.s, you let me into the Order. If I didn't, I'll wait."

He gazed at me for a long moment, his bright blue eyes managing to hide his secrets, and then nodded. "If you truly believe you should join the Order, you can. N.E.W.T.s are not a determining factor, just as no standardized test should be. N.E.W.T.s matter to your future employers, but not to the head of an order meant to defend the entire wizarding world from darkness. What matters there is heart, and courage, and skill. Do you believe you possess enough of these things to put your life on the line every day? You won't be safe with the Order, if that's your plan. You won't find the camaraderie and closeness of Hogwarts. You will be fighting dangerous wizards and witches, who practice dark magic and will not be persuaded to offer you mercy. Are you certain this is the wisest course for you?"

"Yes," I answered, without hesitation. "I've known since December that fighting in this war was where I'm supposed to be. Then they killed Harvey Reese, and almost killed Yumi and me. I'm already a target, because they thought I was dead- Greyback recognized me that day. He said himself that I was supposed to be dead. They'll be after me regardless; I would rather be ready when they come. I would rather fight than hide and be scared and try and pretend like everyone I know isn't in danger. I want to fight them, and the Order of the Phoenix is the best place for me to do that."

Dumbledore nodded, and then stood. He hesitated for a long moment, a scrutinizing blue-grey look in his eyes as he stared at me. After what seemed an eternity, he finally said:

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Hazel Drummond."

 **xxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** And so are the seeds planted for the next book, though two chapters still remain of this one.

Question time!

-Who do you think is the Gryffindor who was orphaned?

-Did Hazel pass her N.E.W.T.s?

-Will Hazel's mother take in Cassi? How would Cassi's mother react?

-What will Sirius think about the Order of the Phoenix?

- _WhAT wILL HAPPEN NOW?_

(I'm very tired, I apologize. I also apologize for how cliche the letter is, lol.)

Thanks for reading! So close to the end now! Don't forget to review!


	49. Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Forty-Nine

"A few other suggestions," I said, and Dumbledore waited patiently. "You might not take it seriously due to their knack for getting in trouble, but I know these young wizards to be extremely skilled and talented, the type that you would want fighting darkness."

"Who?"

"James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Lily Evans."

Dumbledore stared at me for a long moment. "What qualifies them for the Order, besides your friendship with them?"

"Believe me, professor, if I'm qualified then they definitely are. James may be arrogant and troublesome, but he's a talented wizard, and he'll fight for good. Sirius and Remus are the same. All three have been able to cast a patronus since… I think it was second year that they said. To the full form, that is- James' is a stag, Sirius' is a dog, and Remus' is a wolf."

"Are you aware of the other secret swirling around Remus Lupin, before you suggest him to this?"

"I am," I answered. "If you speak of the one I think. And it would only harden his resolve to save anyone else from that kind of fate."

Dumbledore nodded. I had thought he didn't know, but perhaps Remus did tell him at one point. "If you are suggesting I make an army of my students, Miss Drummond, you will find yourself disappointed. Hogwarts is a school, not a military training ground."

"If I'm able to join the Order, then I know others will want to."

"Have you told them of it?"

"Of course not, but they're likely to wonder where I've gone if I'm always off with the Order."

Dumbledore chuckled softly. "I suppose they will, and you're right that they're bright students, talented and skilled all of them."

I nodded. "As I said. And I'm certain that they won't stir up as much trouble if they're given purpose."

"They're quite dedicated to quidditch, at least," McGonagall said, smiling fondly. She looked over at Dumbledore. "They're excellent students, Albus. It would be a mistake not to offer this to them. Give them time to figure out what they would like to do, and then present the idea to them."

Dumbledore nodded. "I believe that is the wisest course. Miss Drummond, will you excuse us for the evening? There are some things I need to discuss with Professor McGonagall."

"Alright." I nodded, and made my leave, heading back down the staircase. Once at the bottom, I made my way to the Clocktower Courtyard and sat in the sunlight, letting it kiss my skin. Nearly a third of the remaining students were outside today, one of the few sunny days this April. A few third-years of different houses played quidditch nearby, and Remus waved from across the courtyard, where he sat reading in the shadows. I smiled and waved back from my spot in the sun, and stared up at the clouds puffing by overhead, making shapes of them.

Even amidst all the bad, there was still something good.

"'Oh miracle of women,' said the book," came a familiar voice from across the courtyard. I sat up quickly, looking over to see Sirius. He was grinning widely and speaking loudly with a rhythmic cadence. "'O noble heart who, being strait-besieged by this wild king to force her to his wish, nor bent, nor broke, nor shunned a soldier's death-"

"Sirius," I called, but he merely continued as he strode slowly closer, successfully drawing the attention of every student in the courtyard (and even the third-years, who landed nearby to watch).

"But now when all was lost or seemed as lost- her stature more than mortal in the burst of sunrise, her arm lifted, eyes on fire-" He rose his voice dramatically, speeding the rhythm some, "Brake with a blast of trumpets from the gate, and, falling from them like a thunderbolt, she trampled some beneath horses' heels, and some were whelmed with missiles of the wall, and some were pushed with lances from the rock, and part were drowned within the whirling brook: O miracle of womanhood!"

"Sirius Black, what are you doing?"

"So sang the gallant glorious chronicle," he concluded with a bow, now having sufficiently drawn the attention of everyone in the courtyard.

I was standing now, and shook my head at him. "Sirius Black, you are absolutely ridiculous."

He grinned, completely proud of himself. "I'm aware. It's all because of you."

I couldn't help grinning back. "And how is it my fault?"

"I'm little more than a fool in love!" He swooned, throwing a hand across his forehead. "Next time, I shall serenade you in hopes that you'll better appreciate my efforts."

"I'm going to walk away now."

"And you simply abandon me to my humiliation. What of love, Hazel dearest!?"

I rolled my eyes and started walking away, just for Sirius to catch my wrist, whirling me around in his arms. He dipped me as if dancing and stared deeply into my eyes.

"I love you, my darling," he said. "I quoted Tennyson for you."

Still grinning, and resisting rolling my eyes at least one more time, I wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him.

The last week of Hogwarts was upon us. N.E.W.T.s results would be coming in Friday, and then the next morning we would be leaving. Each of the Marauders were called in turn to speak with Dumbledore, and it was easy to guess what each of them were spoken to about. Sirius was last.

I was in the astronomy tower, one last time. I watched the stars come into view, and sought out the ones I recognized. I smiled as I saw Cassiopeia and her sisters, and then found Lyra, and then Orion and the Dippers… And then-

A glinting red dog star seemed to twinkle just as a fluffy, scruffy black dog came trotting up and sat next to me. I reached over and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. He turned and licked my cheek, and then began attacking my face with kisses, causing me to laugh and giggle and push him away. He morphed back to a man shape, laughing as well.

"You're silly," I said, and he kissed my cheek.

"No, darling, I'm serious," he said, grinning. I shoved him gently, still smiling.

"Only when absolutely necessary."

He laughed. "You're not wrong."

I leaned over and caught his lips with mine, kissing him for a long moment, and then rested my head on his shoulder. "What did Dumbledore want to talk to you about?"

He was actually serious when he replied. "As if you don't know. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was figuring you would join regardless. I thought it would be more conducive to my joining if I didn't prove to Dumbledore that I can't keep a secret. So, did you join?"

"Join what?"

I glanced at him, thinking perhaps he didn't know- perhaps that was good. I just stared at him. "To be sure, what did he talk to you about?"

"What I was doing after school. He said he needed you in London, as well as the others, this summer. Why didn't you tell me?"

So he didn't know. Meeting his cinder eyes, I saw why Dumbledore didn't tell him yet. Sirius wasn't ready yet. He was still young, and hadn't yet been as close to the war as I had. Dumbledore would want to preserve that while he could.

"I was planning to tonight," I said quietly. "We can still go to Godric's Hollow, if you prefer. All I'd have to do is apparate when I needed to."

He shrugged. "My family lives in London. It's not exactly my favorite place."

I shrugged back. "I can understand that."

"Can you."

"Perhaps not. What would you prefer to do?" I asked, going back to the original subject.

"As I said the other day, we stay together. Cassi will be in Oxford with your mother, so I understand if you'd rather be there. I just want us together. James is planning for Lily to move in with him. Did you hear what happened with her?"

I nodded. She had told me earlier that week- she was the orphan McGonagall had mentioned. "I did. I'd like to be with you three, and I won't separate you and James. So it's decided then: we'll spend the summer at the Potters' house, if Fleamont and Euphemia agree to it. I'll apparate to London as needed; my auror training is there as well."

He nodded. "It's a plan, then."

We turned back to the stars, chatting idly on one of our last nights at Hogwarts.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** One more chapter to go!

Who's excited? All of this buildup for the next book, and all of these big decisions being made. Any thoughts? James and Sirius and Remus being in the Order already- good or no? Thoughts about Hazel going to Godric's Hollow?

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


	50. Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty

The night of April 29th, we were all in the Room of Requirement- me, Sirius, James, Peter, Remus, and Lily. Sirius and I were in my old armchair; I was sitting on the front end of it while Sirius rubbed my shoulders. James was in a wider recliner, Lily in his lap. Remus was at the old table, applying the finishing touches to the map. Peter sat near him at the table.

"So this is it," I said, "The end."

James nodded. "Seems like it. But every end leads to a beginning, right?"

"Not every end," Lily said sadly, and James rubbed her back gently.

"Good things will come, Lily," James said gently. He looked around the room. "I assume Dumbledore said the same thing to all of us- that we'll be in London this summer."

"We all agreed to join the Order, James," Remus pointed out.

I turned to Sirius. "What?"

He nodded. "I wasn't sure what you would say, so I pretended I hadn't. I'm sorry."

I just sighed, but nodded back. "I understand."

"Hazel was saying we could live in Godric's Hollow and apparate back and forth," Sirius said. "I think it's the best idea."

"My mother is sick," James said. "I don't want to crowd up her house all the time anyways, but that would be best. Besides, I doubt Sirius wants to _live_ in London. Far too close to his family."

Sirius nodded. "Right you are, Prongs."

James grinned. "Always, Padfoot."

"Hey Moony," Sirius said, "How's the map going?"

Remus looked up. "Wormtail, what do you think?"

Peter grinned around at everyone, looking happy to be included. "I think they should come see themselves."

Everyone stood and hurried over. Sirius and James came to stand behind the seated Remus and Peter, and Lily and I flanked the group.

Then the signing began, and completion had arrived.

Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs

are proud to present

The Marauder's Map

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** And here we are- the final author's note, and the end of the book.

Though not, of course, the _end._ That comes much later!

And now you guys no longer have to worry about me ending this book with tragedy or a cliffhanger, unless you count the set-up for danger and war and possible torture as a cliffhanger. But for the moment, all is fine!

I'd like to send a special acknowledgment/thanks to Hp Head for always reviewing and reading every chapter, and leaving constructive and informative reviews. It's people like her who help writers stay motivated, and who keep the fandom alive. (Also, there will definitely be fluffy/happy scenes in the Potters' house in the summer in the next book).

Also, thanks to Raven that flies at night, for continuing to review and enjoy the book as I've gone on with it. You've both been incredible. I couldn't ask for better readers.

And now...

Coming June 1st, 2016:

 _Stars & Leaves, Part II of the Black Dogs & Green Trees Series._


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